Abstinence-Before-Marriage Programs Taken to Heart

COUNCIL BLUFFS, Iowa — Like many teens, Leslie Morrow envisioned falling in love in high school and getting married. And, like many girls her age, she read the advice of some magazines, which encourage use of condoms and the birth control pill if girls are going to have sex.

Then, one day at school in Council Bluffs, Iowa, Leslie heard a message about abstinence until marriage and how pre-marital sex can damage relationships. The two-hour presentation was given by Mary Beth Bonnacci, founder and president of Real Love Inc., based in Denver.

Bonnacci's talk about abstinence and the downside of pre-marital sex “really motivated me to save myself for marriage,” Morrow said. “My faith in God is what cemented the whole idea of chastity and living it. Maybe you feel like you're accountable to your parents and you may be tempted to be dishonest. In the end, I knew I was accountable to God and you can't lie to him; he knows you inside and out.”

Today, she is Leslie Morrow Fischer, having married Sebastian Fischer in August 2004 — and having remained chaste until their marriage last year.

Fischer is like many young people today who show increased support for abstinence. In June, the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services released initial results from a study of 2,310 students participating in four abstinence-only education programs. The survey, conducted by Mathematica Policy Research Inc., found “highly credible estimates of the impacts of abstinence-only education on attitudes and perceptions that may be related to longer-term teen risk behaviors.”

Youths in three of the four programs were “significantly more likely than their control group counterparts to pledge to abstain from sex until marriage.” Youths in three of the four programs also had more supportive views of abstinence or less supportive of teen sex than did youth in the control group. Mathematica's final report is due next year.

Spreading the Word

Healthy Respect, based in New York, has been bringing the message of abstinence to students in public schools in the New York metropolitan area since December 2003. The secular program has provided more than 1,000 students with 20 hours of education over several weeks, beginning in the sixth grade. The theme is reinforced as students hear the message again the following year, tailored for their older age.

“Our objective is to help foster child-parent communication and provide the resources and tools to both parent and child,” said Healthy Respect Executive Director John Margand.

Senior instructor Malika Warren said some motivation to adopt an abstinent lifestyle comes from a child's own home life, where there may be divorce and/or early pregnancy. Warren said the Healthy Respect curriculum includes information on sexually transmitted diseases, how alcohol and tobacco are linked to sexual activity, building a child's character and self-image, and the media's influence on sexual attitudes.

“It is helpful for them [students] to have a more critical eye of what they are watching, hearing and seeing,” Warren said. “It is a very counter-cultural message; we are definitely climbing uphill.”

While Healthy Respect does include information on condoms in its program, Margand said the information is provided only to point out the condom's limitations in respect to preventing certain viral infections.

“In our view, there is a serious pedagogical problem in challenging a young person to achieve an abstinent lifestyle, have the endorsement of the teacher, but in the second breath to say, ‘If you fail, use a condom,'” Margand said. “It says ‘We don't have confidence in you that you'll maintain this achievement.'”

Abstinence-Plus

Not everyone found comfort in Mathematica's report. Advocates for Youth, based in Washington, D.C., said the federal government is acting like a “flat earth society” in promoting and funding programs “with no credible science to bolster claims” that abstinence-only initiatives are working.

“The problem with these programs is that, by federal statute, they prohibit information about condoms and birth control for the prevention of pregnancy and disease,” said Advocates for Youth President James Wagoner. “The only thing that can be measured in these programs is failure rates. As a public health matter, it is clear these programs have little merit.”

The organization recommends an educational initiative that includes abstinence, “particularly for younger teens, and information about contraception, so when young people become sexually active, they have the knowledge to protect themselves,” Wagoner added.

While abstinence obviously prevents the spread of sexually transmitted diseases, Wagoner said that condoms also provide protection and are highly effective in the prevention of HIV and pregnancy. “As a matter of reality and people's health, it's a slam-dunk,” he added. “Science and 25 years of research show that a comprehensive approach works.”

But Fischer believes that young people receive a mixed message when they are educated simultaneously about condom use and abstinence.

“That's like telling someone not to commit suicide, but if you're still going to do it, I'll tell you where to get the gun,” she said. “I think it is ridiculous to tell teenagers something totally opposite of what they just heard.”

Fischer, a high school French teacher, has served as a confirmation instructor for the past seven years and continues to talk to youth groups and high schools about abstinence before marriage.

Chastity “is something that God expects of us,” she said. “It is something we are called to do. We talk about vocations in the youth groups. You don't know what your vocation is, so you have to keep yourself pure for whatever God is calling you to do.”

She said that her husband was “very accepting” of her choice of chastity before marriage, even from the time they met as freshmen at Creighton University, a Jesuit school in Omaha, Neb.

Fischer said the pair continued to live separately even after their engagement, “so living together would be a holy part of our marriage.” Chastity remains important in their lives today with the couple's choice of natural family planning.

Wayne Forrest is based in Providence, Rhode Island.