Editor’s Note: This reflection was an adapted excerpt from The Prayer Book for Tired Parents: Practical Ways to Grow in Love of God and Get Your Family to Heaven.

It’s safe to say that every family has their share of drama, from waywardness to personality clashes, to sibling rivalry, and so on. Some families experience deep wounds that cause seemingly irreconcilable conflict. Some hurts seem unforgivable.

Even the saints had family drama. 

That’s why we can look to holy examples like St. Elizabeth of Portugal who, as queen, on two known occasions, prevented her kingdom from entering a civil war. 

She literally stood between the two armies of her quarreling husband and son and was able to assist them in making peace.

Our family feuds may not have resulted in the assembling of literal armies, but that doesn’t mean that our personal battles aren’t legitimate. After all, we know that the devil loves seeing the destruction of the family, the domestic church. If the family breaks down, it’s easier for him to win souls for hell.

St. Elizabeth was familiar with this, too. While other members of her family and the royal court were engaging in immoral activities, she kept her eyes laser-focused on the Gospel and on her commitment to serving the poor. Not only was she a peacemaker in her family, but she also modeled virtue for those around her.

The prayer below would be helpful to adopt during family strife. How can we continue fighting among ourselves when we take a moment to stop and pray? If we truly want to heal family rifts and end “civil wars” in our families, the best way to initiate “peace talks” is through prayer.

Let us pray:

St. Elizabeth, you know all too well the pain of family rifts.

You worked for peace within your family.

We ask you to come to our aid as we pray for (state your need).

Help us to seek peace as you did, to speak with kindness,

And to work toward reconciliation.

Above all, help us to love God through loving one another.

Amen.

 

And if you’re looking for ongoing ways to work toward peace in your family, here are three more tips:

1. Offer your joys and sorrows for the salvation for your family. Every moment of the day can be offered for their holiness, from washing the dishes to folding the laundry.

2. Hold up particular family members as your Daily Mass intention. And if you’re not accustomed to going to daily Mass, now is a great time to start.

3. Pray for them before every interaction, whether it’s phone calls, family      gatherings or exchanging text messages. Praying — even a simple, “Jesus,      help me love like you,” or “Mary, model of patience, be with me” — can go a      long way in preparing your heart to be a channel of peace.

 

St. Elizabeth of Portugal, pray for us and our families!