When 17-year-old Ashley Tomlinson learned she was pregnant, she found little support among family and friends.

“My mother didn't want me to follow in her footsteps. She wanted me to get an abortion and told me I was ruining my life,” says Tomlinson. “My father, on the other hand, told me he would disown me if I had an abortion.”

And then there was Ashley's boyfriend — the father of her baby. He already had other children and didn't want another. He, too, urged her to abort the child.

“At first I wanted to have an abortion in order to keep my boyfriend,” says Tomlinson. “Later, I realized that this was my baby and that my boyfriend wouldn't be there for the long run. I knew that, if I had an abortion, he wouldn't be there to comfort me afterward.”

Family members’ responses to news of an unplanned pregnancy are always hard to predict, but most unwed young fathers can be counted on to respond just as Tom -linson's boyfriend did. It's guys like them that the Men of Birthline have in mind.

The new program, an initiative of Birthline, a central Minnesota crisis-pregnancy center, reaches out to men facing the possibility of an unplanned pregnancy.

Birthline views its men's outreach program as a natural progression of its work with women. “We have been assisting women facing unplanned pregnancies for 30 years,” explains executive director Linda Allen, who adds that assistance to men has traditionally been limited to offering written information about conception, abstinence and a father's legal rights and responsibilities. “Typically, the men have either stayed in their cars outside,” says Allen, “or waited in the waiting room alone as women are being tested and counseled.”

Through the Men of Birthline program, trained male volunteers offer to meet with any male who comes into Birthline's office or calls the center's 24-hour information line.

The volunteer counselors say they get as much out of the program as the men who seek out its services. For mortgage broker Greg Medvec, the program was an answer to prayer. “I had been praying for volunteer work along these lines and I received a call from my brother's wife telling me about the program at Birthline,” recalls Medvec.

To date, Medvec has met with seven male clients. He admits that he spends the majority of his time just listening. “Each of the men has needed male leadership,” he says. “They frequently seek information regarding assistance programs for their girlfriends. My most recent client inquired about adoption.”

Allen says the program grew out of a growing awareness that young men in crisis-pregnancy situations often seemed as open to assistance as their girlfriends. “The vast [majority] of people we serve come from fatherless homes,” says Allen. “It's probably been an injustice that we haven't served men in the past. The program grew out of our desire to serve that population.”

Last spring, with that desire in mind, Birthline brought together a group of approximately 20 interested male volunteers for a brainstorming session. The pieces fell into place quickly from there, says Allen. Training sessions were conducted in June; a dozen men became volunteer counselors.

Deacon Mike Medley of St. Timothy's Catholic Church in Maple Lake, Minn., is among them.

“A couple of years ago a student in town became pregnant and it was brought to my attention,” he says. “She ended up having an abortion. Because of that, I felt compelled to do some pro-life work.” Last spring, Deacon Medley accepted an invitation from Birthline to join the program.

So far, Medley has counseled eight men — every one of them, he says, committed to welcoming the birth of their child.

“At first they are a little puzzled when we invite them to meet with us,” says Deacon Medley. “Once they get comfortable, they talk about everything from sports to work to their lifestyle. We do a lot of listening.” Once the session is complete, the male counselor shares his telephone number in case the young man wants to meet again.

Deacon Medley put an ad in his church bulletin and recruited another gentleman to go through volunteer training.

And so it has gone for a full year now since that first brainstorming session: The more people hear about the Men of Birthline, the more interest translates into action.

Man Talk

The Men of Birthline program flies in the face of the myth that men don't like to talk.

“Oftentimes, when a couple is going through a difficult decision, the man's tendency will be to withdraw from the situation and not talk about it,” explains Allen. “On the other hand, the woman wants to know what he's thinking and she becomes more smothering. It makes the relationship a challenge. The man is trying to come to terms with the situation but isn't ready to verbalize his feelings.”

Getting men to express their thoughts and feelings about their crisis pregnancy — that's the primary goal of the Men of Birthline. “When you can open men up to the idea that it's fine for them to have these feelings and that it's okay to express them, the couples will share,” adds Allen.

“On many occasions, the men have come right out and said, 'This was great. I had a good time talking with you,'” says Deacon Medley. “In one case there were even some tears of tenderness.”

High school senior Brandon Porter is one recent appreciative client. Last spring, he and his girlfriend, Sarah, learned they were pregnant. Brandon wanted to be involved in the life of the child, but Sarah broke off the relationship. This left Porter uncertain about what to do and where to turn.

Brandon and his father, Don, visited Birthline to speak with one of its male counselors.

“The counselor went out of his way, in the middle of the day, to meet with us on the spur of the moment,” says Don. “The counselor gave us information on a father's rights, steered us in the right direction and set my son up with a mentor to whom he could relate.”

Of the counseling, Don says, “It was very helpful. The counselor has called us back at least three times to check on how we're doing.”

To date the Men of Birthline has counseled more than 30 men.

“The guys who are coming here are saying, ‘I didn't realize that there was someone who cared about me, too,'” says Allen.

Medvec recalls one of his clients giving him a hug. “Thanks,” the young man told him, “for being the dad I never had.”

Tim Drake writes from St. Cloud, Minnesota.