… if you don't ask Mary to help you keep it

Many are the New Year's resolutions that go belly-up before the end of January.

That doesn't mean Catholic families shouldn't set spiritual goals as the annual calendar turns. It just means they'd do well to ask, in the same breath, for the resolve-strengthening intercession of a powerful prayer partner: the Blessed Mother.

“She's always our advocate if we ask things of God through her,” says Brenda Zimmerer of Denton, Texas, who offers a real-life parallel on how such prayer works. When her children urge her to “ask Dad” if they can do this or that, she says, she doesn't necessarily hit her husband with the request right away.

“I wait until the right moment,” she explains. “In the same way, we can go to our Blessed Mother [any time], and she goes to God at the right moment. Anything we ask for our spiritual growth gets top priority from her.”

Husband Alan builds on the analogy. “It's like any mother wanting the best for us,” he says. “Mary is constantly leading us to Jesus, so we have to stay close to her.”

One resolution the Zimmerers have managed to keep, thanks to the Blessed Mother's helping hand, is praying a family rosary every day with their three boys and two girls, ages 2 to 20.

And speaking of the family rosary, could Catholics raising kids come up with a better aspiration?

Father Kevin Barrett, international chaplain of the Apostolate for Family Consecration (www.familyland.org), doesn't think so. In fact, he sees the family rosary as a “high-priority resolution.”

Pope John Paul II has urged all Catholics to pray the rosary, notes Father Barrett, and for two specific intentions: world peace and the salvation of the family.

“Our Lady of Fatima said war is a punishment for man's infidelity,” says Father Barrett, who notes Mary's connection of world peace with the rosary.

With a rosary resolution, families would play a vital part in bringing about world peace. “It's in our hands,” he says, “because Mary said that, if enough people pray the rosary, she would bring peace to the world.”

Mary's Model

Not all agree on January as the best — or the only — time to set spiritual goals.

“I've never taken New Year's resolutions seriously,” says Father Robert Fox, founder of the Fatima Family Apostolate now connected with EWTN's Shrine of the Blessed Sacrament in Alabama. “The New Year's resolution has become more or less a joke.”

Instead, he sees constant need for true resolve. “We have to make resolutions to improve our life, to get closer to Jesus every time we go to confession,” he explains. “We have to have a firm purpose of amendment and a resolve to move away from sin.”

And we should decide to model our lives on Mary's example. “Mary is the perfect Christian, the model of everything the Church is and hopes to become,” Father Fox adds. “Devotion to her immaculate heart means essentially living the Christian life and living the Christian virtues.”

Msgr. F. Joseph Harte, founder and director of Mary, Queen of the Universe Shrine in Orlando, Fla., agrees. “Every day is a new conversion,” he says. “In

Luke's Gospel, Jesus tells us to take up our cross each day and follow him. It begins with a desire to do God's will, and we learn acceptance of God's will from her.”

Mary resolved to do God's will always. She accepted God's will through the angel's message and then went in haste to help Elizabeth.

“She didn't lose any time,” Msgr. Harte notes. “That's what a resolution is: to live life in accordance with God's will. As Queen of the Universe, she's in a hurry to help us, too, if we trust in God's divine providence.”

Asked how such resolve might be translated into familial action, Msgr. Harte responds: “The greatest gift you can give a child in their younger years, before 10, is to teach them to pray. When you teach them to pray the rosary, you give them a gift that lasts a lifetime.”

For his part, Alan Zimmerer sees Mary helping even in nonspir-itual resolutions if they're for our overall benefit. “Mary wants what's best for us in general — making a resolution to lose weight for health or taking a class to improve our mind,” he observes. “Mary would play a significant role in nudging us to improve any area that may be lacking in our own life.”

Mark Miravalle, a theology professor at Franciscan University in Steubenville, Ohio, points to the site of Christ's first public miracle — the wedding at Cana (incidentally, the second luminous mystery). “Wine at a wedding is pretty practical,” Miravalle says. “So we shouldn't limit Our Mother's assistance to just spiritual needs.

“The spiritual is what gives us the strength to incorporate practical strength into our lives,” he adds. For example, the daily rosary is the spiritual fruit that leads to more patience with our children or seeing it's not the government but we who are responsible for the poor.

Here's a thought to ponder on Jan. 4, feast of the Epiphany: Were the Magi resolution-makers after seeing the Holy Family?

“There's no question that being in the presence of the Infant changed their lives,” Msgr. Harte notes. “They had an awareness of what was right and what was wrong. They were directed by the angel and didn't go back to Herod.”

The remains of the three kings — Casper, Melchior and Balthazar — are venerated in the Cathedral of Cologne, Germany, Father Barrett notes. “It's believed they all became Christians and died a holy death.”

He offers a clue in the symbolism of their gifts. They honor Jesus as priest, prophet and king. The gold represents their good deeds, frankincense their prayer and myrrh, a traditional burial spice, acknowledges that Jesus “would be our sacrifice, the Lamb slain for our redemption.”

Brenda Zimmerer reflects that “perhaps they were inspired to spread the good news because they actually got to see it. They made a resolution to tell as many people as possible that the Messiah was born and they had an angel talk to them.”

The three kings kneeling down and worshipping the child in the manger “made a wonderful act of faith,” says Father Barrett, who adds that we have that same opportunity to show our faith. “We go into church, see a piece of bread and adore Jesus because he said it is himself.”

“The more we adore our Eucharistic Jesus, the more the Blessed Sacrament radiates changes in our lives,” Miravalle says.

And, like Mary's intercession, the more our devotion helps us keep our resolutions.

Alan Zimmerer ties this into his own New Year's resolution to spend more time in front of the Blessed Sacrament.

“The three kings came and knelt before the ‘Blessed Sacrament’ in real life,” he says. “I'm sure that had a significant impact on their life. If we do that, Jesus will develop us into the people he wants us to be.”

Mary wouldn't have it any other way — in January and throughout the year.

Joseph Pronechen writes From Trumbull, Connecticut.