Homosexuality and the Demands of the Priesthood

I just finished reading Scott McDermott’s essay titled “Why I Thank God I Couldn’t Be a Priest” (Commentary, Dec. 11-17) and I want to support what he said.

I, too, am a person who struggles with same-sex attraction. I no longer identify myself as a homosexual; nor do I consider myself gay, as I rejected that lifestyle about five years ago. But that doesn’t mean I don’t struggle daily with homosexual thoughts and temptations. I know from a life of pain and struggle what it means to have deep-seated homosexual tendencies.

I am 66 years old and living a chaste life is a daily struggle. But, as Jesus said: “If anyone wishes to come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me” (Luke 9:23). I trust completely in Jesus’ love, mercy and compassion. He is walking beside me and helping me carry my cross.

I, too, at one time wanted to be a priest in a religious order and made several attempts to do so. When you struggle with same-sex attraction, it is very difficult to live in an all-male environment. I finally came to the conclusion that I would never be able to take a vow of chastity. I was too wounded and fragile.

I spent almost 40 years living the gay lifestyle and it was only because I knew deep down inside that this was against the teaching of the Bible and the Church that, by the grace of God, I was eventually able to come out of that destructive life. It was only two years ago that I found out in confession that I was a sex addict and finally realized why I had such a struggle with sexual sin.

When reading this, people will probably think I am not representative of most homosexuals, but I think that anyone who lives a sexually permissive lifestyle is really wounded emotionally and spiritually. I still have the desire to serve God in a special way, but I realize it will not be as a priest or religious but as a layperson and that is fine with me. There have been many holy laypeople, even many saints.

I am a penitent who offers his life for all those who struggle with same-sex attraction. I know their struggle, I share their pain and I know they will only find peace when they surrender their lives to God and live according to his will. They are my brothers and sisters and I love them. Please keep me and them in your prayers.

Neil Currie

Apex, North Carolina

Thank you for the in-depth coverage of the new Vatican document on admitting homosexually oriented men to seminaries and priesthood (Dec. 11-17). We all need to be educated as to why and how those with psycho-sexual disorders are not setting themselves up for vocation success; nor are they benefiting the Church and her flock by entertaining thoughts of becoming priests.

Having had ongoing, concerned contact with such afflicted priests, in desperation to understand and relate, to even possibly help, I read many studies on the subject, including the excellent books written by Father John Harvey, founder of Courage (to whom the Register refers).

Additional aspects that handicap homosexually inclined priests bear comment. One is the tendency to be emotionally arrested at an adolescent stage in which their sexual development was traumatized; this can hinder their relationships beyond high-school or college age. This extension of the immaturity mentioned in the Register articles can cause obvious difficulties in parish work.

Also, the disorder (in addition to those who stay to themselves), can be manifested in those who have “issues” with real or perceived overbearing mothers. The extension is obvious. Not to be ignored: The advice they offer others is subject to the stability of their own psycho-sexual health.

Another hindrance for these men is the fact that homosexually oriented priests veritably live “double lives.” They are not free; they always have a major “something” to hide. Thus, when conflicts arise in the parish or diocese, as conflicts often do among people, the same-sex-attracted priest cannot freely and courageously deal with them: He is imprisoned by a form of emotional, spiritual, personally afflicted blackmail.

That these typically bright, talented, sensitive men carry a heavy cross is a truth that I’m grateful your reporters emphasized. We must be educated in the unfortunate causes and results of this disorder, and encourage these priests in their vows of celibacy, at minimum, and in seeking healing and conversion through such groups as Courage or private psychotherapy.

And, of course, we must pray for their difficult path and extraordinary challenges as they continue in the priesthood.

Name Withheld

Catechetical Conundrum

Relevant to the Catechism Investigative Series by Judy Roberts:

We as Catholics have a problem in how our Church is being perceived by our “pick-and-choose” Catholic brothers and sisters. I think that the theology of Protestantism, a heresy, is decimating the Catholic Church and our magisterium is not properly addressing the problem.

In recent months I have read the late, great Pope John Paul II call our Jewish neighbors our elder brothers of God the Father. I have read the section of the Catechism stating that our Muslim neighbors believe in the one true God and as such will get to heaven (No. 841). In Nostra Aetate I have read that our Protestant brothers, by virtue of their Christian baptism, will get to heaven. Here is the problem:

I am a seventh-grade CCD teacher. Four out of the five students in my class come from divorced or mixed marriages. I require, as their homework, that they attend Mass on Sunday. I tell them that, as Catholics, they are under pain of mortal sin if they miss. Protestants have no such doctrine.

I have also been involved in enough parish groups to know that our main evangelization effort is not with other religions but with our own “pick-and-choose” Catholics. Our parish’s biggest problem is in keeping the parishioners we have and, at best, bringing back into the fold those who have left. The Protestant idea of salvation and sanctification being “between God and me, with no middleman” — a reference to the Church — has left them questioning everything from birth control to “gay marriage.”

It takes a long time before the faithful understand that the fullness of faith is found in the Catholic Church. Certainly my seventh graders don’t understand that concept. A little bit of servile fear of the Lord would not hurt them at all. But it has to come from a far more substantial source than myself.

Much of the progression of faith starts with the fact that I have to go to Mass. Eventually I learn to love to go to Mass. All Christians, especially our “pick-and-choose” Catholics, need to understand and hear why we are the “one, holy, catholic and apostolic Church.” They need to hear why the religions of Protestantism, Judaism and Islam are heresies. And, most of all, the faithful need to understand why those heresies are destroying our Christian society.

Don Moga

Chippewa Falls, Wisconsin

War Powers

Regarding the letter headlined “Let’s Step Up and Stop the War” from Molly Powers-Aranda (Dec. 18-31):

Section 2309 of the Catechism lists the “traditional elements ... in what is called the ‘just war’ doctrine.” The section concludes: “The evaluation of these conditions for moral legitimacy belongs to the prudential judgment of those who have responsibility for the common good.”

A question naturally arises as to who in this country has responsibility for the common good. If we can identify these people, then we will know to who we must look for “[t]he evaluation of these conditions for moral legitimacy …” The answer is, of course, the national leaders to whom the voters of this country delegated responsibility for the common good. These leaders hold office in both the executive and legislative branches of the government.

Under our system of government, the voters gave them the authority and responsibility for judging how to serve the common good. In keeping with their responsibility, these individuals met shortly after the cowardly terrorist attack of Sept. 11 and decided it was necessary to declare war on global terrorism. Subsequent to that declaration, the president — with the agreement of 98 senators — decided the nation was justified in sending American troops into Afghanistan and Iraq.

It is clear, therefore, that those responsible for the common good believed the war was justified and necessary, thereby satisfying the criteria for naming it a just war as specified in the Catechism. Neither the Constitution nor the Catechism list any other groups or persons who have the legal or moral authority to reverse their decision.

The majority of U.S. citizens absolutely reject the letter-writer’s assertion that “the war in Iraq is not just; nor is it morally acceptable.” The letter-writer has a right to a contrary opinion, but does not possess the legal nor moral authority to make that determination. Neither does she have the authority to impugn the conscience of millions of her fellow Catholics who passionately believe the war is morally and politically justified and absolutely necessary for the common good of the entire world.

Citizens failing to rally behind the war effort may not realize it, but they inflict great harm on the morale of the troops while lending aid and comfort to a vicious, satanic enemy. I urge those who are so disposed to reconsider their positions. The war will end far faster and with fewer casualties if we all work together in supporting those who are risking their lives for a cause they believe in.

If you disagree with the decisions of our current elected officials, then vote them out of office. In the meantime, please support our troops and quit discouraging them.

Randall G. Hill

Festus, Missouri