Happy Birthday Baby! You're Doomed!

When babies are born, the baby is supposed to cry out to the world. Well, a few days ago a baby was born and instead, the world cried out. In horror.

As the baby stretched out, the world curled into the fetal position. And wailed.

As you might know, a little Filipina baby was born just after midnight on October 31st. Some believe she is the 7th billion baby. She was named Danica May Camacho and her birth was greeted with doom and gloom headlines and stark warnings from world leaders.

Welcome to the world Danica. These are your birth announcements. And let’s just say I’m glad you can’t read.

The world welcomed its symbolic seven billionth baby Monday amid a stark warning from UN chief Ban Ki-moon of the need to tackle inequality on a planet where almost a billion people go hungry.

Indian Health Minister Ghulam Nabi Azad said the birth of the seven billionth child was “not a matter of joy but a great worry.”

“We shouldn’t be celebrating,” he said Sunday in an interview with The Times of India. “For us a matter of joy will be when the population stabilizes.”

The Manila Bulletin wrote:

While celebrations led by the UN marked the birth of Danica and the other symbolic seven billionth babies around the world, a bleak future predictably lies ahead of her and the whole of mankind if the challenges and struggles that come with a populous environment are not addressed effectively.

The Head of the Center for Biological Diversity Kieran Suckling wrote:

The costs of doing nothing about overpopulation are steep and profound. Indeed, they are unacceptable. Left unchecked, the human species is lining up to wipe thousands of other species out of existence. If that happens, this planet will indeed be a very lonely place, left only with the remnants of the wild world this place once was.

Baby Danica, you’ll be glad to know the Center for Biological Diversity used your birth to encourage condom usage.

The Rwanda News Org wrote:

Air, water and food pollution, famine, environmental degradation straining of budgets are just a few of the dangers of an ever increasing world population.

The Global Post reported:

Reaching 7 billion people poses new challenges to provide adequate food for all.

Baby Danica, your birth is not a debacle. Your birth is a celebration. You are a completely unique individual loved by God. You are a new way to spread love in this world. Because that’s what is needed most. Love. Because the world doesn’t have too many people. It just has too little love.