Catholic Girls Get All The Good Topics

As a male non-clergy blogger in the Catholic world, I wish to lodge a discrimination complaint.  Well, not really discrimination per se, but more of a whine about the unfair advantage that female Catholic bloggers have over their male counterparts.

Girls get all the good topics.  By good, I mean the kind that lead to lady cat fights in the comboxes, ya know, good.  Guys just don’t have this kind of well from which to draw from.  I think some examples are in order.

Breastfeeding.  Girls can go there, guys can’t even drive by the neighborhood.  I am even uncomfortable writing the word.  But female Catholic bloggers always have the breastfeeding font from which to draw material.  I realize in retrospect that the wording in the previous sentence was probably ill-conceived, but you get the point.  Whether you are pro, con, indifferent, a BF nazi, an anti-BF nazi, or any combination thereof depending on your hormone balance, you have a ready made BF post just ready to pump out.  Ok, ill-conceived again, but still.  Guys just do not have anything comparable guaranteed to fire up the crowds.

Modesty.  This is a great topic that is almost completely off limits for Catholic dudes.  Let’s face it, if I write a 1000 word post on the proper placing of hemlines so as to look feminine yet not unduly tempt anyone, several things can happen and all of them are bad.  Many involve restraining orders.  But girls can simply write “I think that shorts on women are ....” and voila, instant and vicious combox mud-wrestling by women in Laura Ingalls dresses.  You just can’t buy that kind of clean fun.  But no.  Guys can’t write about modesty because we don’t get it and if we do get it, it just proves we are insensitive or pervs, or worse, an insensitive perv or something…

Lovable Family Chaos Stories that show how human they really are but are actually designed to show how wonderful they are and always end with some poignant lesson drawn magically out of the chaos that makes us all say awww until I realize how lame I am because I never take lessons from my chaos and nobody ever says awww to me because I just yelled at the kids for spilling Hi-C on the sports section.  Ya know, those stories.  Well, these are not the exclusive domain of girl Catholic bloggers, just girly Catholic bloggers (if you get my drift Matthew.)  Most of us (manly) guys just can’t pull that kind of thing off.

So when it is 11:30pm and a post deadline looms, we just don’t have these kind of ready-made topics to fall back on and it is unfair.  Often I end up writing some geo-political post that even bores me.  Or if that doesn’t work, I can just write about all the things we can’t write about.  Nah, that would never work.