After profiling the different types of blog commenters recently, I had some requests for advice on how to be the good kinds of commenters, rather than the bad. Here are some dos and don’ts that might help:
1) Be charitable. If you are not making a comment out of love, you have no reason to make it.
2) Do not comment when you’re angry. You’ll probably regret it and won’t be able to undo it. Anything good to say will still be good in a few hours when the anger has worn off a bit.
3) If you quote part of the article or another comment, make it a short quote. Do not copy and paste huge chunks of the article or other comments into new comments. If we need to reread the post or another comment you are referencing, we can scroll up and reread it. Just give us enough of the quote to know what you are referring to.
4) Do not leave really long comments (aka don’t be a Tome-ist). People generally will not read them and they are convo-killers. If you can’t say what you need to say in a paragraph or two (or maybe three), then I would suggest dropping a few of your lesser points for the sake of your better points. Try to be as succinct as possible. This will make your comment more valuable, more appreciated and more likely to be read and responded to.
5) If there is a character limit on a combox form, it’s there for a reason. Please don’t spread your long comment across multiple submissions until you’ve said all you want to say. It’s annoying.
6) Do not feel like you have to have the last word. Say your piece and then rest at peace.
7) Make good points, not lots of points. A lot of blog comment convos start with one point. Then somebody responds with 3 points. Then the other person responds with 6. And with each iteration each person feels the need to respond to each point the previous person made plus a few new ones. Try to reverse that trend. Respond to 6 points with 3. Respond to 3 points with 1. Make your one point just that good.
8) Go with your gut. If you’re gut is telling you that maybe you shouldn’t say something (but you still really want to say it), don’t say it. You’re gut is probably right.
9) If you are sharing links or promoting something, make sure you are contributing to the post topic/conversation. If you are only interested in promoting something else, you will do more harm to your cause than good.
10) Say a quick prayer before making a comment.
11) Be an informer, not a misinformer. Don’t spread information around unless you are reasonably sure it is true.
12) Read the post (don’t be a Slacker). Responding to something that you haven’t read is just obnoxious and foolish. Just ask Attorney General Eric Holder.
13) Remember that you are a guest on somebody else’s website. Don’t say anything you wouldn’t say in somebody’s living room if they invited you over for dinner. If it doesn’t pass the living room test, keep it to yourself.
14) Remember that your comment is public. It is not a private conversation between you and somebody else. Far more people will silently read your comment than respond to it.
15) Be Christ. WWJD? Allow Christ to work through you. Don’t say anything Jesus wouldn’t say. Your strongest evangelization weapon in the combox is your love and the way you conduct yourself - not the points you are making.
16) Comment. You don’t have to be really smart, have an awesome point, or something really valuable to contribute. Your opinion is valuable. Saying something encouraging or nice is valuable. And you never know how it will impact the many unknown people who will come across it and read it.
One of the fundamental aspects of giving a soul to the internet is our loving presence. Don’t be shy.
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TYVM! A superbly practical & implementable ASAP can do credo! Rarely if ever the case with religious topics.
I recognize some I need to remedy and remove the log from my own eye. Glad to see sarcasm wasn’t explicitly outlawed lol.
I vote for #15 WWJD to be right on par with #1. And I wish this decorum would be insisted upon on many Catholic blogs. Sadly, too many are a far cry from these standards and ideals.
Thank you for this! I shared this with a Catholic phorum because I think it’s something they really need to hear. God bless you!
Re: point 4 - I think if you can’t say everything you want to say in a couple of paragraphs, then you should write your own blog post in response and leave a trackback.
I think points one and ten are the most important. I also think 15 should probably say “TRY to be LIKE Christ”, rather than “be Christ”.
#17) Avoid compromising the truth in any way out of human respect.
This is just stupid. The author clearly has no idea what he’s talking about ;-)
Repeated violations of #1 and #2 (often from the bloggers themselves) is the biggest reason I sadly do not read most orthodox Catholic blogs.
It is important to be discreet. But even then the truth often hurts. WWJD-even Jesus said a lot of things that made those who abused their power in his day furious enough to have him crucified. I would be amazed if American Catholic bloggers started to display that kind of courage today. I would be amazed if I did that!
I would move #10, “Say a quick prayer” to the #1 spot.
Thanks for this posting!
This needs to go viral and spread across the internet.
Godd Advice.
Excellent advice. This is why earlier this month in commenting on discussion of Danica Patrick in these pages I noted she is catholic and prayed for God’s blessing for her. She is young and God wants her with Him just as he does all of us - and with prayer - she will be an enormously influential force for Him. Re: “never when angry”: almost always true, but occasionally some righteous anger helps convey truth. guy mcclung
Yes, but everyone thinks their anger is righteous. I know mine always is. ;-)
Even the Church is expressing concern over the Catholic blogosphere, so the divisiveness and decidedly uncharitable rhetoric has not gone unnoticed.
Posted this on FB and tweeted it. Hope it spreads. These are good suggestions, regardless of the order. (I think I can put them in the order I most need reminded…)
Thanks, Guy, learned something else here. Danica is Catholic. Wouldn’t have imagined by the immodest and puerile ads of godaddy. (OT, good product don’t know why they take the low road.)
I will say a prayer for her as you suggested.
This is great. Thanks. You really never know if posters are Catholic or whatever faith, but they should know we are Christian by our posts.
Website WDTPRS.com has a prayer to say before going on the internet.
Hmm. I don’t see anything here about not commenting when you’re drunk, so… GAME ON! :)
Thank you so much for needed advice! It also applies to business and personal emails. One thing that I would like to add is to think before capitalizing words and phrases (let alone bold them) as this implies shouting in the e-world.
These are good advice, and since I was one of the folks who asked, let me also be one of the ones to say, “thanks.”
This is a great list! If I may add one of my favorite quotes to support your suggestions:
“No one can be said to have perfectly renounced the world if one still keeps
the purse of opinion in the hidden recesses of one’s heart.”
St Bonaventure - 13th century
Don’t you just love the saints?
Testing 1, 2, 3… is anyone else getting a “moderator must validate” screen or just me? My bad if latter and I don’t even know what I said since I’m actually trying to be on good behavior!
Dear Sensus Fidei-Haven’t got the “moderator must validate” screen yet, but I have my own “moderator”, actually a “motherator” - I have put a statue of the Blessed Virgin Mary in front of our TV. If anything is said or any image appears that I think she would not like to hear/see, I switch the channel or turn the TV off. It is amazing how much does NOT seem suitable for her. All-have a full-of-wonder weekend.
Hi Matt!
I’m introducing your column (along with many others) in a talk I’m giving on new media to writers. I’m gonna quote this wonderful list! With attribution, of course! :-)
Keep up the good work!
Thanks everyone! I really appreciate the feedback.
Pat - That’s awesome! Thank you so much. I hope it helps!
Great and Wholesome list!!! Thank you very much! I confess: “I still need to work on #3,#4 and #9” Truly.
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