A newborn is placed on a mother’s chest. 

The mother is recovering from a C-section delivery. I know the image well, as I laid in the same position after four days in active labor with my daughter, waiting for my sweet baby to be taken from my womb. A clear plastic veil allows you to see the baby when the doctor finally cradles the little one, now up in the air and quick to cry. Why is it cold? Where am I? This is so unfamiliar, the newborn wail seems to say. 

Quickly, the baby is cleaned and placed on the mother’s chest.

And the little one calm downs. 

No more tears. No more wincing of the eyes. 

The baby instantaneously senses that, yes, her mother is here, as the tiny hand clutches the side of her mother’s face to embrace her. This safe space with her momma is home. 

This recent X post highlights the God-ordained way of new life.

Then there is the other tweet: This time, the so-called mother has a beard and chest hair. This is not a female, but a male masquerading as a mother. 

And the baby is not fooled. 

The baby knows. As she is placed onto this chest, her crying does not cease. The baby panics more. Crying and searching for something familiar, she is left with no understanding of this new environment. The male tries his best to soothe the infant, but to no avail. The man looks very content with his new baby, but it really isn’t his baby.

And the baby knows. 

A child learns his or her mother’s sounds, her smells, her way of breathing. For nine months, a baby is safe in the womb where life begins. Sadly, surrogacy has become commonplace in the United States and even more so in other countries, with no regulations or even background checks in most cases. Anyone can decide to rent a woman’s womb for the manufacturing of a child who will one day riot when taken from his or her little coccoon and placed onto a chest that is the farthest thing from familiarity. 

Of course, this does happen to children who have mothers who cannot care for them or choose not to for a variety of reasons, most very difficult and painful. Many children who grow up in foster care or are adopted speak of this primal wound that exists forever — always desiring to know that original home with mommy. Adoptive mothers speak of consoling children who ache so deeply and end up grieving with the child this loss, before the child learns love from a new mother. 

But the dark side of surrogacy was on full display on social media this past weekend: One child, embracing her mother; and another, still confused about  the absence of her mommy. 

It reminds me also of another recent viral moment when a surrogate mother is called to wish her 4-year-old child happy birthday. The two adoptive dads orchestrate the whole thing. After the mother says, “Happy birthday!” the little girl says, “I love you, Mommy!”

She has never met this woman yet knows who she is. 

When one of the dads corrects her, the young girl looks confused. She knew without being told who her mother is.

And this confusion is growing and infiltrating the lives of so many children. A recent Washington Post story parades around a darling little girl being raised by 2 dads who desperately wants a mother.. She is now giving one of the males this title. Because the little girl knows something is missing. 

God is indeed infinite, and he is indeed amazing. He made us so uniquely, giving us all a mother to love us and to hold us while we are being formed in secret, so our birth days would have a warm welcome, too.

God knew this was so important that he even gave his own Son a mother, our Blessed Virgin Mary, who we hold so close this Marian month of May. May we cling to Mother Mary for guidance as we pray for surrogacy to end and hope for a world where all babies find comfort in the arms of a mother.