Sometimes I wish everybody would just stop talking, or at the very least speak less.
I had the pleasure of watching the fabulous film "To Kill a Mockingbird" again. As I watched it, I found myself riveted by Gregory Peck as Atticus Finch. Even though his character is a lawyer, other than in the courtroom, the man barely says a word. His silence is his strength, self-restraint his weapon.
He shot a rabid dog because he had to. It is only in action that his children find out that he is the best shot in the county for he never told them. He takes the abuse of spit in the face, but knows the abuse must be taken if he is to do good. Therefore, he takes it.
I pondered on that for a bit and recalled that so many of the male movie heroes of the day showed these same qualities in the characters of John Wayne, Gary Cooper, and Gregory Peck. These men did not speak much and did their best to avoid a fight, but when things needed getting done, they got done.
However, these men were not stoics. They were not indifferent to pain, loss, or injustice. They feel as other men do, but they knew their role as the shoulder to be cried on and not to be doing the crying. Therefore, they made that choice.
And not just in the movies did we find men such as these. My own father and many men like him came home from war and carried on. They married, raised families, went to Church, and paid their taxes. They did not talk much about their war experiences because while they had served their country now they were serving their families and communities. I think that is the heart of it, men like that serve, not talk.
I think it speaks well of a generation that put characters and men such as these on a pedestal.
Back then, it was a whole generation of real life John Waynes. What do we have but a whole generation of real life Woody Allens?
We live in a generation that behaves as if the only sin left is to leave something unsaid, untweeted, or un-Facebooked. Today's heroes prattle on and on about nothing and everything.
Even the President, asked about why his healthcare program was still so unpopular, remarked that he had not done enough to sell it. If the man gave one speech on the topic, he must have given a thousand, but even that was not enough.
This is how liberty dies, to the sound of a thousand flapping lips.
I wish most men would once again see the value in quiet service. We need a new generation of men who make the decision to serve, men of strong shoulders and tight lips.
With our liberty once again in peril, we once again need great men of restraint. Daniel Webster said "Liberty exists in proportion to wholesome restraint."
Restraint is the best preparation for just action.
Comments
Post a Comment
I know this will sound odd, but perhaps there’s some connection biologically to the wider use of hormonal contraceptives? There was a recent NCR article about research done showing how BC alters a woman’s choice of men:women on BC chose men more like themselves, women not using BC chose more “masculine” men.
There are trace amounts of hormones in our water supplies, too-from varying sources. Who knows?
Personally, I’d vote for Gary Cooper & John Wayne.If we were all the same, one gender would be redundant.
I’ve always thought my husband belonged in another generation - he’s the “strong, silent type” and I hope I can raise my sons to be the same. But I think Kathleen is right; I think there are some biological issues such as hormones in the water and also endocrine disrupters from plastics. I also think our culture portrays men as weak and bumbling in tv shows, movies, and books and so our boys end up absorbing that idea of their gender. I don’t know why stronger female characters/heroines means we have to have weak, idiotic male characters.
Why can’t those evil men just do what they’re told?
Along these lines, I don’t like the way that today’s professional athletes, usually men, carry on when they have made a touchdown, a lay-up or even just a good tackle. A player who is “in the face” of his opponent after putting a hurting on him, in a taunting-like manner, is just not all that professional, in my opinion. If he has to “blow his own horn” and incite the crowd to admire his latest feat, it’s unbecoming. Whatever happened to humility? It just shows a lack of respect for one’s opponent. This attitude sort of dominates the games now, and for me, it’s a turn-off. Unfortunately, it’s all my kids see now.
I too admire such men.
On the other hand, I think many of the men who were “shell shocked” after WW1 would have benefited from a little talking.
The Sacrament of Reconciliation and spiritual direction involves “talking”.
The male suicide rate is usually much higher than that of females. No doubt there are many reasons but perhaps a bit more talking to the right people at the right time might help.
Almost every medical condition which both men and women suffer from has a higher male mortality rate (at least in developed countries). Might men talking about our health help?
Does blogging (and commenting) count as “talking”?
I suppose it’s a question of balance and efficient communication.
This is resonant of the eulogy I hear today, given by the eldest son of a simple good man. The church had as many examples of taxidermy as floral arrangements. This man’s legacy is evidenced in his children and grandchildren, who are nothing like Woody Allen. All is not lost.
Pat—YOU are a man among men for even writing this piece. I have never read an article or opinion written by either you or Matt that I thought was off base. Thank you for writing in truth, with clarity and consistency. You are so right on. Our family is thankful for you and your family. God bless.
Maureen: Our culture and government has prohibited our response to God in so many ways, no prayer in public, no Christmas, no crosses in cemeteries, no anything anymore. Makes a person want to explode. Therefore, loud music, never ending cacophany, never silence. Militant feminists have emasculated men and boys and made battle axes of themselves, so that the man are embarrassed to death and talk to cover it up. And finally, keeping a spiritual journal of one’s soul is very uplifting and freeing. One can return to one’s journal and find oneself. I find blogging and commenting is very helpful in my spiritual life. There is also a condition that causes people to talk.
“I have never read an article or opinion written by either you or Matt that I thought was off base.”
Clare,
I never realized how smart you are until just now!
That’s a rich article after you blamed Catholics for Obama’s re-election.
Very much on point, fellows. Well-said, all of it.
Hey True democrat, go pick a fight somewhere else. Enough said.
I always strain to hear and understand what the virtuous man has to say. The egomaniacs are like jackhammers on my overtaxed eardrums. My husband and I have a look that is code for: Does he ever shut the——up?
.
There have been a few like that in the com boxes lately.
Delicious - “We live in a generation that behaves as if the only sin left is to leave something unsaid, untweeted, or un-Facebooked.” From a blogger, tweeter, and founder of a website that also directs you to their Facebook page. The only people that Pat wants to stop talking are those who don’t share his right-wing, anti-government, Christianist views.
@Mother with a house full of voices
Spoken like a true egomaniac.
Attacking men just like TV. If you have nothing positive to talk about, try writing less.
Atticus Finch, for me, is also a type of the Catholic Church. Standing up for what is right, doing it quietly. There’s a quote in the film, someone says that there are always unpleasant jobs to do and Atticus is the person who they fall to. I think of the quiet way that our church serves the poor, educates, promotes beliefs that ennoble man—and without trumpet blasts or self-promotion. I also think of the vocation of religious, especially priests—and especially in this time—when being an identifiable priest, particularly in secular settings, must be a terrible burden to carry for the Church. Also, thinking of the vow of celibacy—who else but celibate priests would undertake seemingly pointless tasks, like St. Damien of Molokai, or Fr. Greg Boyle with his gang-related ministries in LA? These are all represented by Atticus.
Larry, if you have nothing positive to comment, comment less.
@ d2—- Back at ya buddy.
Appreciate this post. And I think it is positive. It encourages wise use of words versus flip talk and chatter. I also do thing blogs and comment boxes encourage too much talk. I saw one blogger who said “Real Bloggers” comment every day. My reaction to THAT prospect was negative!
It isn’t just all the talking, it is the talking without thinking. There seems to be a complete deficit of intelligent thought out there. Even the self proclaimed intellectuals put out a small percentage of truth in their babbling. Our society seems to be pathologically narcisstic with such narrow vision that they cannot see anything other than their own badly formed opinion.
I would gladly take more Atticus Finch’s in the world.
@David: chastened and furiously using Windex on your glass house, to get back in your good graces.
Jesus had also preached about the virtue of being quite. While I can’t remember the exact passages there are at two of them: (1) About not telling anyone when you are fasting, praying, doing something, etc. because the Father knows about them; and (2) several instances when He commanded the beneficiaries of His miracles to keep quite or not to tell anyone about the miracles. There are also some instances when we must also tell people about the good deeds when they are necessary for evangelization and encouraging others to do the same. Jesus also preached about it. In other words, we must be circumspect or prudent when to keep quite and when we have to tell everyone the goods deeds we have done or about to do. The criteria is on the intent: if you are planning to boast and draw praises to yourself, then keep quite, if it is for evangelization and encouraging people to be good samaritans then spread the word.
I’m curious to understand why Pat feels the need to target men, and men alone, to be quiet. Why doesn’t he include women in this criticism? Pat, care to answer this question? And why do you blog, if you believe men should serve quietly? You are a man, aren’t you?
I was in Viet-Nam.
I’m not going to shut up for anyone, especially in the matter of generalissimos toadying to corrupt governments and sending young people to undeclared wars. I’m not going to shut up about our Merovingian Congress and Article I, Section 8 of the Constitution. I’m not going to shut up about the 1st Amendment, the 2nd, or any of the others.
And if I hadn’t been in Viet-Nam, well, I still wouldn’t shut up anyway.
Our modern media and culture have promoted men as fools, morons and worse since the 70s while at the same time promoting “enlightened” women. We have denigrated the roles of husbands and fathers at all levels of society. About the only organizations that did not totally fall for this are: 1) the Catholic Church, which has insisted upon keeping a male priesthood and promoting traditional morals and families; 2) the Boy Scouts, who continue to support strong male role models and traditional values; and 3) our Armed Forces who struggle to continue to promote strong traditional values and morality in a culture which seeks to overthrow both. Confession was a means for men to “talk” about their issues. The insane self-promotion and aggrandizement of minor achievements by men and women alike, the endless discussions of feelings and emotions, the total lack of morals and values in our society, the failure of vast swaths of our society to take responsibility for themselves or their actions, are all the result of the denial of the need for men to be strong husbands, fathers and leaders. Until men start being manly, Godly men and women start demanding it, we are in trouble.
Maureen, regarding the touchdown celebrations, I too feel they have diminished the game. You point out their disrespect for the opponent. I feel they similarly disrespect their own teammates and organization. It is “me, me, me” and ignores that they reached the endzone as the result of the contributions of many who will never see the limelight.
Real men can feel secure in their integrity without dancing in the end zone. No words needed, no strutting required. We will see it in your heart after the game is over.
Much has been written about the feminization of the western male.
I do think we need to look at how western progressive thought and gender feminism have had a hand in excoriating and denigrating traditional males and male roles. This process has been ongoing for several decades, but I do think the negative impact of gender feminism needs to be quantified: insuring quotas for female graduates of STEM fields implies less males get education, Title IX, etc.
Dennis and Don,
I was in college in the 60s to witness modern feminism erupt in the culture and on the campus. Unfortunately, in an attempt to address real problems facing women, they sought their solutions in an alienation of men and women instead of working to harmonize men and women as complementary beings. An obvious outgrowth of this approach is the modern notion of “equality,” where differences of all kinds are neutralized, and every human being is entitled to be in the shoes of every other person simply based on having a pulse. This has had disastrous effects for both men and women. You each offer a few negatives from the men’s side. As a woman, we have become objects for the gratification of sexual fantasies and have been taught that this is “liberation” as long as we abort the products of liberation to maintain an unencumbered ability to further our careers…or work long hours as single mothers to support our families. Men and women are both losers of this new gender bending. There is no reason that women (or any other social group) cannot earn access to colleges and careers in the current world based on true credentials of skill and acumen. What is truly needed is a way to celebrate the unique qualities of our born genders and find ways to harmonize with “the other.”
And @ David, the blog opened with a desire that “everybody” stay silent. Being one who is included in “everybody,” I took that to mean myself. If women in general utter ten times as many words as an average man on any given day, feel free to imagine me and my own “flapping lips.” :) If you are focused on his “silent man” image, you have missed the main point Pat made.
@Jane:
Not sure what your point is here.
Undoubtedly any philosophy or world view that postulates one gender as predatory in nature while the other merely a victim is inherently dangerous because it’s not true. But when Marxist feminism becomes a secular dogma institutionalized, we now have the beginnings of disaster- lack of social nets for the male dispossessed, high degrees of male homelessness, marriage and family failure, etc. I take issue with the author since he seems to think, as many do, that with women now competing with men in the workplace as well as home, that somehow “manning up” will fix it. What about “womaning up?” Men have long been success or achievement objects, and get discarded when they are perceived as losers. The issues are not as simple as stated here.
If everyone has Ph.D’s tomorrow the world’s problems won’t go away- remember Jesus’ statement that the poor will always be with us? “Equity” may salve a personal POV that women need to be “equal” to men (defined how, by whom?). But this is a worldly viewpoint based on power, not complementarity as the Church has long taught. As long as we see this zero sum, looking at material outcomes only, we all lose.
The tongue was with us in the garden, a gift given with purpose. We are to choose our words carefully, to store up treasure in a place of permanency and value. Gal.5:15 tells us to be carefull lest we bite and devour one another and there by be destroyed. Many leave limping, and woe to those from whom the stumbling emminates. We are invited to celebrate, feast on Christ and grow.
Post a Comment
By submitting this form, you give The National Catholic Register permission to publish this comment. Comments will be published at our discretion, and may be edited for clarity and length. For best formatting, please limit your response to one paragraph and don't hit "enter" to force line breaks.
The time period for commenting on this article has expired.