Amen.

Even before I returned to the Church I knew there was no such thing as consequence-free sex and considered it irresponsible to have it out of wedlock, and so I knew I didn’t want to have sex until such time (if any) that I got married.  You don’t even have to believe in Catholic doctrine to know this to be a fact.

The old-school 1960s style morality train wreck reminds me of that scene in “Its a
Wonderful Life” where everybody ends up in a swimming pool. Some jumped in some got pulled or knocked in and some stayed dry, but everyone was affected somehow.

All I can think of is “don’t jump in, the water can drown us.”

I’ve come to realize that some of that meaningless sex I had many years ago has left a number of scars that might have eternal consequences, if I’m not diligent about my reparations now.  It certainly has created a number of enormous obstacles to holiness.

Amen!
In college I had two roommates who lived promiscuous lifestyles and one night they were trying to make lists (for fun!) of everyone they had ever slept with. They couldn’t remember them all. They handed me a sheet and I handed it back saying “My list will only have my husband’s name on it someday”. They said I was missing out. Four years later one is divorced after a 4mo marriage and the other was just left by her livein boyfriend of 2yrs. I have been blessed with a wonderful husband and two beautiful children. They are missing out on the gifts God is trying to give them. Trust in the Lord’s plan not society’s ideals!

I had some statistics here, but you don’t give a damn about reality anyway.
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Of course, if you’re going to believe a virgin can conceive through her ear, you’ll believe that people will be abstinent because you say so.
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It is a sadistic god that creates people with sexual urges and then forbids them to do anything about them. You people don’t even accept “flying solo.” Is it any wonder you are obsessed with women?

I’m sure all tragic stories were about kids from “good Catholic homes” that were corrupted by going to college. Obviously the teachings of their parents and their church did not save them from corruption.
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Remember, professionals and intellectuals don’t have any morals. They want to make your lives miserable because they can’t stand that, as a Catholic, you are better than everyone else.
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Remember, a liberal education will make you a Liberal and science will destroy your faith in God! Stay home and be sheep.

StellaMore

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Your sockpuppet is showing.

-.

We should take a serious look at how our pornified culture fuels all this ‘burning desire’.

According to the Unplanned Parenthood, there are some things young women can do to lessen the chance of becoming pregnant. For example:
•  Have the guy wear as many condoms as he can afford.
•  Avoid sex entirely by talking at length about your period. If your boyfriend is particularly shallow, making it clear that you are very intelligent might work as well.
•  Buy a chastity belt (antique stores and swap meets often have old ones at reasonable prices).
•  Laugh when he disrobes.
•  Invite your parents into the room.
•  Have a sex change operation.
•  Become a nun.
The Gays and Lesbians United outreach group has also spoken on this subject, pointing out that you can easily avoid embarrassing teen pregnancies by only mating within your own gender.

Catholics believe in the Virgin Birth and Immaculate Conception, and yet you claim that pill manufacturers and insurance companies create myths?
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If American Catholics are so sexually sophisticated, why then do marriage/sexual counselors and therapists so often encounter deep-rooted, subconscious anxiety and guilt related to sexual pleasuring in their clients? Why in our culture is sexual pleasuring still so burdened with massive doses of guilt?
—-
Clearly, the Church’s teachings could hardly be more sexually repressive. And if one remembers the “forbidden fruit” effect, which Catholic leaders apparently haven’t learned from their own Bible, it shouldn’t be surprising that the sexual behavior of so many Catholics is inconsistent with those teachings.
The evidence is overwhelming that Catholic sexual teachings are inconsistent with human nature and produce sorrow, guilt, immorality, and hypocrisy
—-
Therapists confirm that children who learn that sex is dirty or evil are especially prone to sexual desire disorders later in life. Strict religious environments as a frequent source of such attitudes, which can lead to various forms of deviant and sometimes antisocial sexual behavior.
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Which of those consequences in your article could not have been prevented by using some sort of contraception—such as condoms?

Dear StellaMore -

Of course, we all have urges but being that we are not animals but have a free will we can freely set them aside or act on them in a perfect time/space which would be marriage btwn a man and a woman.
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But, in that you believe that we are ones obsessed with women (huh?), you cannot see real freedom comes when you make the best decision for everyone involved and sometimes/often that means saying no.
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As for the science slam - here’s just a few - Zucchi, Gassendi, Nieuwland, Riccioli and Mendel - all Catholic priest/scientists.  The next time you look up at the moon be aware that no less than 35 craters on the moon are named for specifically Jesuit priest/scientists to honor their contributions to science.
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Just so you know….

Contraception/birth control does not “protect” one from the consequences of sin.

The plain fact is that all the wonderful things the pill, etc., was supposed to do did not happen.  In fact the opposite of pretty much every selling point came out opposite.  Child abuse, up.  Violence against women, up.  Abortions, up.  Single parenthood, up.  Teen pregnancies, up.  STD’s, up.  Sexless mariages, up.  Divorce, up.  Porn replacing real relationships, up.  Women’s health problems (i.e., breast cancer), up.  So what is the solution, obviously more pills!

It looks like the haters have came out in force with a laundry list of ad hominem and non sequitor slogans.  It is funny, first Catholics don’t follow their teachings, then they don’t and there is some well known epidemic of mental illness because they are.  Well, which is it?  All it proves is that any stick will do to beat the Church.  When people rage against something and resort to contradictory arguments against it, that is when people start thinking that it must be something unique worth a look.  It was bone headed, sophmoric displays of ugliness like these that prompted me to look into the Catholic Church several years ago, and ultimately enter into it a couple of Easters ago.  Keep up the good work guys.

It is a sadistic god that creates people with sexual urges and then forbids them to do anything about them. You people don’t even accept “flying solo.” Is it any wonder you are obsessed with women?

Apparently, I have also been created with the ability to lie, cheat, steal and kill. I guess I should give free reign to this abilities. What a wonderful world it would be.

Sex is the idol of all time. We join all the fallen ancients by succombing to what amounts to worship of our genitalia. We need only examine this generation’s obsession with sexual desire to realize we are at the tipping point of civilization.

Attack and demonize opposition, freeze it and destroy it. Don’t deal with the actual presented arguements, that sex has consequences beyond a baby. 

People’s relationships, however brief, have permanent consequences.  The Pill pretends that because the sex will not make a woman pregnant, the sex has no long term effects.  Women don’t have to be as discerning about who they sleep with. Men get a free ride with these less discerning women.  It seems to me men (not gentlemen) profit from women swallowing chemicals that alter them internally, that women become mere objects for men’s pleasure via the pill.

An Infinite God of Love wants us to learn how to love forever and for always. 

We cannot do that by giving free reign to every impulse and desire. In every field of endeavor save sex, the 21st century mind comprehends this reality.  One cannot become excellent as a scholar without work, without commitment. One cannot become an extraordinary athelete without daily committed dedication.  One cannot become a genuine lover of God save through loving God.  One cannot love another with one’s whole heart save by loving that someone with one’s whole heart forever, even when it is difficult or inconvenient or requires sacrifice.  One cannot love at all without sacrifice.

The pill does not eliminate the emotional connection that anyone, even the shallowest or most debased feels towards someone with whom they had been intimate.  We’re made to love forever.  When we give away ourselves that cheaply, we come to doubt that reality, We become less capable of believing that we could be loved forever or that we could do the same.

The pill says it need only for a moment.  What we cannot discuss as a society is that one night stands have long tentacles of pain. We cannot discuss how the pill makes women angry and deadens desire.  We cannot speak of how it kills marriages to sterilize men or women.

Contraception is the worst plague ever visited upon mankind. It’s cost in blood and treasure is incalculable, far worsej than Hitler, Mao and Stalin combined.

It’s so obvious that StellaMore, Juanita, and Brad are either all from the same website, or are perhaps the same person.

Seriously, why do you guys even bother?

Oh, that’s right.  It’s because in a world of no right, no wrong, and no truth, your tactics here probably seem just as effective as an actual discussion of fact.

Unfortunately for you, the rest of us are thinking thoughts over here, and don’t have time for your prattle.  All you’ve accomplished here is making me sad for you.

elm,

You may not agree with the Catholic Church and OUR decision to follow it, but you MAY NOT impose your values on us, nor can the Federal Government tell us how to live our lives. You came here freely to criticize us because YOU THINK YOU’RE BETTER THAN US. That’s your opinion. We’re not bothering you. So, don’t bother us….

Why is drunk driving illegal? It’s estimated that the average driver caught for a DUI has driven drunk at least eighty previous times, presumably with no seriously bad results. But when a drunk driver does have a bad result, it’s frequently a very bad result that causes terrible harm to an innocent bystander. So society restricts everyone for the sake of protection against harm that isn’t immediately resultant from each episode of drunk driving. The (currently dormant) prohibition against non-marital sex can be viewed the same way. Sometimes people seem to get through it unscathed, but there can be life-shattering horrific consequences, both to the participants and to innocent bystanders. Promiscuity is bad enough in terms of harming people, but the tools used to facilitate promiscuity can be even worse.

Simon, I will pray for you; please also pray for me, as I too made extremely poor choices in my youth.

I thinking about rock and roll and it came to me that the central theme of rock and roll is that fornication is the most normal and appropriate form of sexual intercourse and that all other forms of sexual intercourse, conjugal relations, masturbation, homosexual sodomy, etc. are mere diversions from fornication.  Chastity, rock and roll would tell us, is for losers and the self-oppressed.  It is also worth noting that rock and roll came into being at the same time that the USA and the USSR started to stockpile nuclear weapons, that is rock and roll has provided the soundtrack for the culture of death.

If everyone stopped listening to rock and roll would that allow us to overcome the culture of death?  I don’t know.

As one who onced lived the life of “sexual freedom” I can attest to the truth of many of Matthew’s comments. (For the likes of some commentators here I did not grow up Catholic so there was no guilt issues or other baggage as you might put it.) Now that I can step back from it all I sometimes feel like the person who is sober whilst everyone around them is drunk.
Sex - the new opiate of the masses

God Bless You for writing the obvious - but something that so many of us who bought into the myth are afraid to admit.  There is no such thing as consequence free sex.  “Consequence free” sex has also led to suicide, date rape, and murder.  Many of us who bought into the myth are lucky to only have surface scars… others lost their souls and lives.  God Bless you for the work you are doing!  We need more people explaining the beauty of chastity to the next generation!

How sad that people think the only consequences to sex are disease and pregnancy. How sad they think that sex equals intimacy or love. How sad that people lower themselves to the level of animals that have no control over urges. There are a few sad people that posted responses here. Then again if one is in darkness they abhor the light of Truth for it shows them just how dark their darkness is. We are more than our bodies and urges and desires. Funny how those that sin are so violent and those not in sin are more calm and filled with joy instead of anger.

I wish there were more adults who had the courage to admit the dangers of society’s free sex mentality.

in 5th grade we had sex education, which taught us why sex occurs, and what the consequence’s were. In highschool we had health class, which taught us the importance of safe sex and the risks involved. Now don’t missunderstand this, they did not encourage sex, they taught us what the aftermath could be, and if we were dumb enough to ignore the mangntude of the situation, then we should atleast take precations to protect us and our partner. This is the weakest article I have ever read. EVERYONE know’s sex has risks, why do you think trojan stays in business. 8th grade they had a speaker who talked about the aids quilt and all the people he knew who died of the disease, the informed us he was HIV positive. Can you argue that, something this drastic would not leave an impression on developing minds? You sir should pick your battle!

p.s I am a catholic, I am just dumbfounded someone would write an article of such obvious conclusions.

Dear SMSC aka (Stella, Juanita etc.)(Sorry Matt for being off topic) I know I am breaking the unwritten com box rules by addressing you.  You seem to be getting worse and giving full vent to your fury. I am very sorry you have been wounded so badly and need to act out this way. You have actually helped me understand some Catholic theology that I have struggled to understand.  Perhaps I was bordering somewhere in my mind in a bit of fanciful heresy.  My thought was:  What if all the experiences of Hell that different people and saints have been shown, are really just the deepest forms of purgatory, where people must face their hateful choices and deeds.  Maybe all of those images of pain, horror and rage are a reflection of how our choices in favor of sin separate us from God, but in the end, after suffering horribly in what really is a refection of absence of God, and facing ourselves,and what we are reduced to without Him, there might be redemption.  Now I realize, it isn’t like that.  When you made fun of me several months ago for the death of my child, I knew I was dealing with a very hurt and angry person.  What kind of person could do such an unspeakable thing? In a word, your rage reminded me of—Hell.  I have never, ever encountered first hand such hateful venom. Yes, I do feel very,sorry for you, not superior as you said yesterday—just horrified.  I know that God loves you and would die just for YOU.  IT is YOU who clings to Hell.  It comes forth from your heart.  I know that our good all-loving-Father sends nobody to Hell.  He wouldn’t send a single soul there.  We become citizens of it because we pridefully, and hatefully CHOOSE IT for ourselves. Hate and Heaven can’t exist together. Stella, I’m going to keep praying for you, and offering the wound of my dead child for your healing. Peace.

Very well said.

Jim,

You are right. It is dumbfounding that we need to write and speak such obvious conclusions. It is dumbfounding that the federal government would refuse to recognize such obvious beliefs in the new legislation they are forcing down our throats. It is also dumbfounding to me that my sister would ignore the risk she poses to the men that she sleeps with by exposing them to her venereal disease. (I hope she tells them first, but I am afraid she doesn’t.) It seems obvious that all people would perceive the truth with clarity, but it is not always convenient or immediately desirable.

The saddest thing of all is that we have to “worry” about the “consequences” of sex at all. Shouldn’t it be in an environment where the outcome of sex, whether it leads to a child or simply results in greater intimacy between two people, is only something to be welcomed and praised? Sex is not dirty, sex is not evil when it is entered into with the proper frame of mind and with the whole heart. It’s only when it is abused that the outcome is a “consequence.” THAT is what I wish more people would understand.

It never ceaces to amaze me how many unbelievers and anti-Catholics read these blogs and articles.  I would never want to read their blogs.  Go figure.

Good comment Daniel.

The article forgets all the couples who cant get pregnant, because who would have thought getting pregnant over 35 could be so hard, all the families ‘stuffed up’ by IVF, it just goes on and on.

Daniel, if your faith wishes to exclude the “unbelievers and anti-Catholics”, I would recommend a course of action that does not affect them.  I find it difficult to accept that the actions taken in recent month, wouldn’t draw attention from those groups because it directly affects them and they are also more well read than yourself.

Sherry at March 7th, 11:05 AM—

In Humanae Vitae in 1968, as the sexual “revolution” was setting the fires that still rage today, Pope Paul VI wrote exactly what you’ve said: that contraception turns women into mere objects for male gratification.

Pay attention, people, because the Church is always out front in moral clarity and right thinking.

Today, the Church fears for the integrity of the nuclear family and its place as the foundation for just and well-ordered societies. Today, the Church fears for freedom of conscience. Today, the Church fears for a world that will eventually be swamped by relativism and consumerism.

We have been warned.

This is one of the best, most succinct arguments against Obama’s HHS mandate that I have read. Especially the part about taking others’ choice away in order to pay for one’s own choice. Great article.

Another great article, Matthew..

daniel,

Fr. Robert Barron from “Word on Fire” has some interesting thoughts that might answer your question about why those hostile to the Faith prowl about in the comboxes of Catholic blogs, websites, etc.:

“I have, over the years, playfully accused some of my atheist interlocutors of being “secret Herods.” The biblical Herod arrested John the Baptist but nevertheless took pleasure in listening to John preach from his prison cell.

So, I’ve suggested, the atheists who come to my website and comment so acerbically and so frequently on my Internet videos are, despite themselves, secretly seeking out the things of God.”

;)

Regarding sex/promiscuity/contraception: What we do not tame (our sexual urges) will tame us and make us slaves to our basest desires.  Sex is not love.  We have God’s gifts of truth and reason to help us master our passions.

I think Daniel was referring to the people who come on this site to “troll” rather than to have real discussions about the topic at hand. They post ad hominem attacks, non sequiturs, and half-truths that are irrelevant to the discussion. Very poor logic skills, indeed. For people who are so “well-read” they certainly don’t have much to offer to the discussion.

Re: high school sex ed, I think a problem is that they do not understand love or the purpose of sex. They think love is a feeling and that you have to sleep together to prove you love someone, or to prove you’re a “man” or “woman”. They are willing to take the risk even though they know birth control is never 100% effective, and the risks at hand. They also do not know the science behind sex, how it bonds people together, making it that much harder to break up, and leaving scars behind. Even kissing makes people emotionally attached, and sex is much more powerful than kissing. Sex is clearly meant for lifelong partners (whether you believe it evolved that way or God created it to be that way, or a combination of both)... why else would you feel so heartbroken after breaking up with someone with whom you’ve had a relationship with? If you were smart and didn’t kiss until you were close to getting engaged, or sleep together until marriage, you would save yourself much heartache. That is why people used to go out with one person on Friday and another on Saturday night, or only group dates… get to know what you want in a future spouse. After a while you would go “steady” meaning exclusive with someone. And once you’ve been exclusive for a while, you have your first kiss. Then you’d get engaged shortly after that, and then marriage would follow. You can find yourself a great spouse with little to no heartache at all. The only bad thing would be letting someone who was a nice person go, but that happens no matter what; sometimes you’re just not meant to be together as a couple.

What happened to the old idea that if you want something, pay for it yourself? Sex is not a need, it is a want. The longest life expectancy is women religious, women who lead celibate lives. People need food, water, a safe place to live, and medical treatments for diseases and infections. Anything that people don’t need for survival should not be part of a public-funded program. And birth control costs money, but so does its consequences: the treatment of STDs and abortions. Births are also expensive, but they will help replace the population and help fund social security, so birth is an investment… especially if the child is placed into an adoptive family that has the resources to care for the child without government assistance.

And the argument about women taking the Pill for non-contraceptive reasons is—you guessed it—a non sequitur! The Church does not prohibit this and it is covered by their insurance plans. And I’d also like to point out that the Pill is often over-prescribed (acne?) and can mask the effects of a problem rather than treat the problem itself. I know of Catholic doctors who rarely if ever prescribe the pill.

I don’t believe in consequence free sex either, although I am an atheist. I believe in people taking responsibility for their own actions because this is the only life we’ve got and you don’t want to mess it up!

I think that is where our agreement in opinion ends though. Contraception allows women to not be slaves to their biology. I met my husband at 19 and married young, so even by Catholic standards our sex was not a sin. But I wanted to make sure I had finished my education before we started a family, so I could take reponsibility for that family and support them the best I can. Contraception allowed me to make that decision, and ultimately be a better mother. I don’t mind paying for other folk’s contraception if it allows society to improve in general. Educated women, fewer diseases, no need for abortions and planned for children - what is wrong with that?

Alice,
Your comment, as you may be aware, illustrates your secular humanist belief; that mankind’s judgement can be ultimate and thus paramount in all questions. As people of faith, Catholics trust in the teachings of Jesus and the church he founded and heads.
In practice, our ends differ from atheists, though we may seem to employ similar means at times. Unfortunately, the issue at hand is one such example. 
Catholics have a very basic belief in the age old struggle between choosing good over evil. We may never employ an evil to achieve a good end. Doing so will only result in a false good, ultimately another evil. Jesus’ Church teaches us that artificial contraception is inherently evil and therefore not employable to achieve the ends you describe and I might agree are beneficial. The problem lies in the corruption created in the process.

The impact of the sexual revolution seems to not have the impact of liberating sex, but simply destroying sex.  From a scientific, biological definition, sex is the combining of genetic materials.  As well, one’s sex is not determined by brain function, or what a person thinks they should be, it is determined by the sexual gametes one’s body produces-ova or sperm.  When two people contracept, they are not having “sex” they are destroying, abusing and frustrating what is sex.  And, within the biological definition of sex, it is impossible for persons of the same sex to have “sex”.  It is, as if, we have taken a beautiful rose, cut off the blossom, and have had it handed to us as a rose.  Sex, in modern society, has become so many leaves and thorns and when it is presented in full and beautiful blossom, the world which proclaims so much service of it, cannot bear it.

That was really, really well-said.

Alice: “Contraception allows women to not be slaves to their biology” what does that even mean? That you want to have sex but there’s the inconvenient result of children? That’s not being a slave. You have a choice: to have sex or not, slaves have no choices. Not being able to manipulate nature to serve you is not being a slave, is being a human. By that reasoning I’m a slave to my biology because whenever I have more than 1 cocktail I get very dizzy and that is really unfair because I want to be able to drink 8 cocktails and get drunk w/o feeling dizzy in the process!!!