Wow, that’s a bad day: Ashton Kutcher heard in passing that Joe Paterno had been fired, and dashed out a tweet to his 8.2 million followers defending JoePa. As he writes on his blog, Kutcher had assumed that the firing was football-related, and was mortified when he heard the full story. He was so shaken up by this turn of events that he’s now turning his Twitter feed over to a media management company.
Most of us who are on Facebook or Twitter have probably done something similar, though perhaps involving a few million fewer followers. It seems to me that the trouble here wasn’t so much that Kutcher was managing his feed by himself, but that he’d fallen into one of the worst temptations that social media users face: Over-valuing our own opinions.
A while back I did a technology fast where I didn’t use my computer for an entire week: no email, no web surfing, no Twitter, etc. I didn’t even text on my mobile phone. I learned a lot during my seven days of being completely unplugged, but the thing that jumped out to me the most was how it forced me to rethink my relationship to my own opinions.
Only a few hours into the fast, I noticed that I was forming opinions about every little thing that crossed my path. That TV show looks dumb…I’m glad it’s not too hot today…It’s hard to believe that anyone really eats cilantro. If I’d had these kinds of thoughts ten years ago, I wouldn’t have even noticed them; they would have been confined to the silent chatter of my subconscious brain. But ever since I’d discovered social media, I’d gotten in the habit of bringing all these ideas to the forefront of my mind, so that I could share them with everyone on Twitter.
When I first unplugged, I decided that I would write down all my potential updates to post when I returned from my fast. I kept a notebook open on my kitchen counter, and jotted down what I would normally have typed in to Twitter. Then one afternoon I had one of these thoughts, and ran over to the counter to make sure I recorded it before it slipped my mind. After I set down the pen, I stepped back and looked at what I’d just written:
Gourds are weird.
That was the thought I’d deemed so important that it simply must be captured and distributed to the world at large.
I’d come to feel like I simply had to form an opinion about everything I saw, and that people must know about it. And so when I heard about Ashton Kutcher’s mistaken update yesterday, I felt a chill of recognition. I smacked my head and said, “That’s so awful…and it could totally happen to me.” It’s all too easy to get so entrenched in this habit of Have thought—> Tell internet that you never pause before updating your status to ask yourself, “Do I know all the facts?” or “Do I even need to have an opinion about this?” Not only is this not great for our spiritual and mental states, but, as Kutcher recently found, getting careless with how and when we share our opinions can hurt others as well.
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Kutcher claims he didn’t have the full story on Paterno. Ha. Living under a rock, is he? Kutcher is a douchebag trying to cover up his ugly support to pedophile enabler Paterno, because he got a negative public reaction. It’s people like him who ensure sexual abuse cover-ups stayed covered up. It starts in their minds.
Such a good point, Jennifer. I hate how I’ve gotten into the bad habit of thinking of my life in terms of Facebook and Twitter statuses. Anytime something happens now there is this filter the experience passes through where I check out of the present moment and ask myself if there is a good Facebook/Twitter status here somewhere. It’s ridiculous. Even worse, we can begin to judge how good our life experiences are based upon whether they make great social media - which is a sad trap.
This goes for my relationship to comboxes. Luckily my FB account is mostly for keeping in touch with family spread far and wide. They would hassle me if I posted all my thoughts all the time.
Thanks for this post; I really needed to read that. Social media, for all its good, makes narcissism so easy. After reading this I’m going to try to ask myself before posting, “Is this important? Does anyone really care about this opinion, this outlook, or this bit of news?”
PS. There have been *too many* emails, tweets, Facebook posts, and blog comments that I wish I could take back. My mouth is full of feet.
Don’t be too hard on yourself. I am old enough to remember the CB Radio fad of the 1970’s. Participants sometimes said things they regretted; computers did not create the environment necessary for this type of gaffe—though they did make it widespread.
Absent deliberate unkindness or outrageous ignorance, wide-banding your stream of consciousness is a tradition as old as England’s Hyde Park. Perhaps a career in computer systems administration dating to the 90’s has made me comfortable with these risks, or indifferent to the risk of the odd goofy remark. At any rate, thanks for raising the topic.
This post is the first I have heard of “Joe Paterno” and certainly the first I heard about the scandal. Makes one wonder if some of the posters here will give up football…you know, because of all those pedophile coaches. I mean, doesn’t this prove that football must be bad? If the coaches molest children? Works for them with the priest scandal…The Catholic Church must be bad because of the priest scandal, right? Everyone knows that the actions of a few bad apples negates any good to be found in the whole?
mk, I laughed at your all-too true conclusion that people tend to let a few bad apples sour the whole bunch. You presented it so well :)
Alessandra, as many celebrities are often in the middle of actually working, you know filming in studios, etc., it’s entirely possible that Kutcher is telling the truth when he says he didn’t know the reason Paterno was fired initially.
Even us non-celebrities can get carried away with our work, our family and catch a headline that sets us off, but we don’t always have time to check out the details right away. Hence, the whole point of this post.
Jennifer, you hit the nail on the head, here. It is a very valuable lesson and I’m glad to have learned it before I hit the stage where I felt the need to post every little opinion on my Twitter feed. I’m a relatively new user and so I find great value in reading your article before I find myself obsessed with posting every single thought on Twitter.
I agree with Alessandra in the first comment above. And I would broaden that to many celebrities these days; they believe their every thought needs to be shared - and followed. The fact that Kutcher - someone who, IMO, has very little talent beyond playing himself - has something like 8 million Twitter followers speaks to the larger problem of all those people following every minute aspect of this man’s life; a man who is only famous because he was born lucky enough to be good-looking and was in the right place at the right time for the fame-stick to touch him.
It’s one thing for us - the “mere peasants” - of this world to take to Twitter and Facebook with our ruminations; because for most of us it really is just about sharing with our friends and family, not about influencing people with our mindless ramblings (and I do count myself in that group, believe me - some of my Facebook posts should make me hang my head…).
And I also agree with the point - made larger - that the only reason celebrities these days walk-back some of the insane and off-base things they say is because ***gasp*** the public noticed that they are actually an idiot. Perhaps Kutcher in this case is genuinely sorry about his uneducated remarks. Or perhaps his management team is so bent on keeping their own money-train flowing that they wrested control of the Twitter account from him before he could do any more damage. Let us not forget that Kutcher is embroiled in another scandal of his own making - infidelity.
“Do I even need to have an opinion about this?”
Having opinions is not the problem. Sharing everything in your head with the world is. I’m sure Jesus had opinions about common things. He either didn’t share them are they were left out of the Gospels because EVERYONE didn’t need to know. Media of any kind is great, if it brings a message worth telling.
You don’t like cilantro?
The fact that I don’t care what other people think about my opinions was a big part of why I just closed my Twitter account. Kutcher’s post finally pushed me over the edge on the decision. He states that Twitter is no longer “personal,” that it’s just for broadcasting. I agree. And all too often it’s only for broadcasting links to blog entries. I have RSS for that and I don’t have a bunch of people expecting me to say anything.
I do sort of wonder if this is social media’s shark-jumping moment.
I know, Gman! Doesn’t like cilantro? I discovered cilantro a few years ago and now I like to have it around just so I can smell it! Haven’t learned to cook with it much, but I love that stuff!
We are fixing to begin a social media fast. It’s going to be longer than a week, though. It takes longer than that to break the mindset and habit of “This’ll be a great status update!” Ok…I’ve told all of you people…now I need to tell my kids. Should I just make that my Facebook status? “The SandyFamily will not be on Facebook for the next 3 months.” Ha! The kids’ heads will spin and there will be vocal shouts for a ‘dislike’ button.
Now, about that Facebook fast….
Shakespeare had it right. It was true than and it is true now:
“What great ones do the less will prattle of” (Twelfth Night, Act I scene 2).
This tendency to gossip and “prattle of” the acts of celebrities in only amplified by social media. Personally, I never did understand why I should care what Ashton Kutcher (or anyone else for that matter) had for breakfast. It is information overload. What we need is a return to true knowledge, and not just information.
cilantro with green onion, serrano peppers, olive oil and citrus…soooooo goooood
Why would anyone follow Ashton Kutcher on Twitter for goodness’ sakes?
Jennifer, I totally agree…gourds are weird ;)
more talk about cilantro….Jen, you made my mouth water! yuuuummmmm- I like to make guac with too much of it
But yes, it does taste like soap and 50% of people love it- 50% hate it.
Soap? That’s almost blasphemous. I think it’s more like the test of how warm blooded you are ;)
Oops. Just kidding. This white girl didn’t even like coffee until she met her Latin husband. I didn’t mean that Jennifer. I used to sit with my husband at “The Super Rica” in Santa Barbara refusing to eat anything, (Don’t laugh, it was one of Julia Child’s favorite restaurants) as my husband clearly wasn’t minding my stance, and clearly relishing his. I realized sometimes that if you can’t beat ‘em join ‘em in anything but sin…and now I’m a true believer in cilantro among other things :)
Jen - I read this post last night and have been reflecting on my social media patterns and behaviors since. Thank you for planting the seed.
The message I keep hearing in my reflections is something I think comes from St. Francis de Sales’ “An Introduction to the Devout Life.” He uses the parameters of pure, holy, and sacred (sometimes translated as good, holy, and true) when discerning the differences between true and false friendships (Chapter XIX). I think those are good parameters to consider with our social media activities - if it be blogging within Catholic media, Facebooking with friends and family, or simple Tweets we think contain innocent message.
I shall work on asking myself this crucial question prior to broadcasting any message: Is the message I am trying to communicate good, holy, and true? If not, is it really necessary for me to say anything at all?
More people need to handle this so-called “actor” and his flub by asking, “Who is this person and why should his opinion on anything of significance matter?” and let it go at that. Just look at his show, his life, the “actor” he replaced at a scandalous rate of pay and before you know it folks, you’ll be asking a book’s worth of far more penetrating questions than the likes of this guy or his followers could come close to mastering in a month of Saturdays. (“Like, y’know, uhhh, Ashton could ‘go figure’ this one?”)
I visited friends over the weekend. They have no TV, not even over the air digital. They get by with DVDs from library. They even cut out internet service at home because of the cost and endless disputes among their 5 children over apportionment, etc. I happened to mention Kim Kardashian to the wife, who didn’t know who she was. I felt as if I let the snake in the garden of eden! Blessed ignorance of what does not matter anyway!
Okay, yeah, but come on. Gourds are weird.
(But God calls us to love them anyway. This was the moral of a VeggieTales episode, if I recall correctly.)
@Steven: To be fair, there are only three to five Saturdays in a month. I like to spend mine not worrying about Ashton Kutcher’s opinions.
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