Patti Armstrong is an award-winning author and was the managing editor and co-author of Ascension Press’ bestselling Amazing Grace series. Her latest books are: Big Hearted: Inspiring Stories From Everyday Families and Dear God, You Can’t Be Serious. She has a B.A. in social work and an M.A. in public administration and worked in both those fields before staying home to work as a freelance writer. Patti and her husband live in North Dakota, where they are still raising the tail end of their 10 children.
Four states allow adoption agencies not to place children with same-sex couples: South Dakota, Alabama, Kentucky, and Texas. Can you guess to which states California's attorney general recently announced will prohibit state-funded and state-sponsored travel to punish them for discrimination?
Since same-sex relationships are 100% sterile, children must come from outside the relationship. The issue, however, is not about the fair distribution of babies, but about what is best for children.
Before the Supreme Court redefined marriage, Kay Faust, who was raised by a lesbian mother and her partner, wrote an emotional plea to Justice Kennedy explaining why redefining marriage would harm children. She serves on the Academic and Testimonial Council of the International Children’s Rights Institute, and founded the site Them Before Us. “We are ordinary people willing to state the cost that children, as well as society, pay when children are deprived of their fundamental needs,” Faust said about her site.
Research Shows Harm
“When they redefined marriage, the Supreme Court mistakenly equated gay relationships with heterosexual relationships,” she wrote on the second anniversary of the decision. Faust reveals that studies show a major difference in what these two pairings offer children.
Studies that claim children do well even better in same-sex households have methodological problems, according to Faust. “If it is undisputed social science that children suffer greatly when they are abandoned by their biological parents, when their parents divorce, when one parent dies, or when they are donor-conceived, then how can it be possible that they are miraculously turning out “even better!” when raised in same-sex-headed households?”
Faust explained: “The largest study to date–the National Health Interview Study which began with 1.6 million cases and yielded 512 same-sex parent families – destroys any fantasy that children with same-sex parents fare ‘no different’ than children raised in the home of their married mother and father. The higher risk of emotional problems for children in same-sex parent families has little or nothing to do with the quality of parenting, care, or other relational characteristics of those families.”
First Hand Experience
In her letter to Justice Kennedy, Faust noted there is “no difference between the value and worth of heterosexual and homosexual persons. However, when it comes to procreation and child-rearing, same-sex couples and opposite-sex couples are wholly unequal and should be treated differently for the sake of the children.”
As a young girl, Faust often claimed: “I’m so happy that my parents got divorced so that I could know all of you wonderful women.” She admits it was a lie that now makes her cringe.
“Now that I am a parent, I see clearly the beautiful differences my husband and I bring to our family,” she said. “I see the wholeness and health that my children receive because they have both of their parents living with and loving them. I see how important the role of their father is and how irreplaceable I am as their mother. We play complementary roles in their lives, and neither of us is disposable. In fact, we are both critical.”
The briefs submitted to the Supreme Court before their marriage ruling by six adult children raised by same-sex parents, revealed children’s struggles with gender confusion, pressures to conform to gay values and attitudes, and feelings of isolation and sadness.
“There were no safe boundaries in my home,” said Denise Shick, who explained in her brief how her transgender father spied on and fondled her, stole her clothes and tried to step into her shoes because, as a girl blossoming into womanhood, she was the very thing he wanted to be.
In her brief, Dawn Stefanowicz explained: “Dad’s partners slept and ate in our home, and they took me along to meeting places in the LGBT communities. I was exposed to overt sexual activities like sodomy, nudity, pornography, group sex, sadomasochism and the ilk.”
William B. May, author of Getting the Marriage Conversation Right: A Guide for Effective Dialogue, points out in his book that every child has a mother and a father so that is their irreplaceable biological right.
May acknowledges that society has lost the understanding that marriage is for children and not just a public statement about adult relationships. “And there lies the root problem,” according to him. “Children are not being protected through marriages. Instead, society has come to regard marriage as the public recognition of a relationship rather than it’s original intent: to unite a man and women with each other and to any children born from them. Even if we never knew our mother and father; or by some circumstances, felt alienated from them, the desire is still there.”
Children Should Come First
LifeSite News reported on many of the harmful events and attitudes regarding children at the Gay Pride events in June. For instance, a nude man dancing in front of a little girl (where were her parents?) is laughed at as people make comments about her. Here is the video showing that depravity. If it’s not okay for a naked man to come gyrating on a school playground, why is it okay to bring children to see him and others doing that?
Parents were warned ahead of time to be “open-minded.” In the Life Site article, “Gov’t-funded media: It’s good for child’s ‘sexual development’ to see drag queen’s genitals,” Jonathon van Maren reported that public broadcasting in Canada offered tips to help parents prepare kids for Pride events. “Your kids will probably see boobs and penises. There will be bodies of all shapes, sizes and in all states of undress.” Such events were called: “a great opportunity for some interesting discussion.”
To hell with such discussions. Children need protection, not discussions about depraved behavior. And if some want to call that discrimination, then so be it.