LOS ANGELES — While it is possible to meet other single, committed Catholics in a bar, at school or at work — the “usual” places couples meet — it isn't always likely. So where do Catholics turn when they're looking for true love?

Many, like Susan Galati, are looking on the World Wide Web. As the number of household computers in the United States has skyrocketed during the last five years, singles Web sites of all kinds have popped up, including ones that are Catholic-owned and –operated.

Galati, 30, of Chicago, believes there are more pros than cons when it comes to Catholic singles Web sites.

“I really want to meet someone who is faithful to the Church and will help me live my faith,” she says. “On a Catholic singles Web site you start off on a better foot than you do at a bar.”

Every week in the United States, thousands of Catholics are logging onto sites such as Ave Maria Singles, St.Raphael.net and CatholicSingles.com in order to meet new Catholic friends, find support for their faith and begin a cyber-search for their soul mates.

Anthony Buono, founder and president of Ave Maria Singles (www.avemariasingles.com), is upfront about Ave Maria's distinct mission: “We're a forum for those who have a marriage vocation.”

Although Ave Maria has a little more than 5,000 registered members and has been in operation since 1998, it will celebrate its 100th marriage next month.

“The site is all about cutting to the chase,” Buono says. “We're looking for quality people — practicing, devout Catholics. There are lots of Catholics in the United States, but only a handful are completely faithful.”

Acolyte — a company formed by Brian Barcaro, 29; Jason LaFosse, 31; and Michael Lloyd, 28 — operates St.Raphael.net. With more than 12,000 members, St. Raphael is a comprehensive singles site that fosters not only marriage vocations but also friendships and religious vocations.

“The primary reason people get on the site is to get married, but we don't just focus on the dating aspect,” Barcaro says. “We have community forums where people really develop solid friendships. They find that they're not alone, that there are faithful Catholics all over the United States.”

CatholicSingles.com, founded by David Nevarez, 37, in 1997, has more than 50,000 members, of whom 10,000 to 15,000 are actually active. Although some frown upon CatholicSingles.com because they say it is more accepting of Catholics who don't always agree with Church teachings, Nevarez says the site is indeed geared toward practicing Catholics.

“We certainly stand behind all the Catholic teachings,” Nevarez says. “We're more accepting of Catholics who deviate from Church teaching, but we've never had a problem with people attacking the Church on the site.”

While all three sites provide its respective members with opportunities to befriend Catholics around the world, each site has its own unique way of having members post a personalized profile. All three sites allow members to describe their personalities in writing and to list their interests and hobbies, but the sites' styles of allowing members to express their Catholicity differ dramatically.

On Ave Maria, members are asked to express their views on crucial issues including Christ's presence in the Eucharist; contraception; and family, children and schooling.

St.Raphael.net provides a simple “yes or no” format for members to express whether they agree with the Church's teachings on issues such as premarital sex, abortion and papal infallibility.

Regarding one's faith, CatholicSingles.com asks members to disclose how often they attend Mass; what kind of Catholic they would describe themselves as (conservative, moderate or progressive); and what their most significant religious experiences are.

Galati, a member of both Ave Maria Singles and St.Rapahel.net, prefers St.Raphael.

“On Ave Maria, there's no opportunity to converse,” she says. “On St.Raphael.net, you can chat with someone. Chatting gives you a better sense of who a person is.”

Buono himself says he finds “chatting” to be superficial, but nonetheless, Ave Maria launched a private one-on-one chat feature in mid-July.

“I believe in the preservation of writing letters to one person,” Buono says. “I want to promote exposing one's heart and soul with letter writing.”

Besides a chat feature, St.Raphael.net has forums where members can post messages on a wide range of subjects including apologetics, Catholic culture, life issues, religious vocations, politics and even employment opportunities.

Matt Lambrecht, 20, of LaCenter, Wash., a member of St.Raphael.net, has found the site to be of great use in cultivating Catholic friendships.

“I think I might be called to be a priest, but even though I'm leaning more in that direction than that of marriage, this site has been so useful and a wonderful connection with other Catholics,” Lambrecht says.

CatholicSingles.com has chat capability and a message board where members can post prayer intentions.

Nicholas and Mayra Jauregui, 33 and 32, respectively, of San Diego, are married because they met on CatholicSingles.com in August 1999. They e-mailed each other for six weeks and then talked on the phone for a few weeks until finally meeting in person. After a year and a half of dating, they were married May 5, 2001.

Nicholas Jauregui says his overall experience on CatholicSingles.com was positive. “It's a way of meeting good, faithful Catholic Christians that you would not otherwise meet. You can expose yourself and be exposed to other Catholic Christians,” he says.

According to Nicholas, CatholicSingles.com attracts a full spectrum of Catholics — some of whom are faithful, others who are not. He adds that the site provides a good way of screening people.

Not Always Blissful

These sites have had their fair share of problems, however. Common complaints by members about Catholic singles Web sites (and singles sites in general) include the impersonal nature of communicating with others through a computer; the impracticality of trying to conduct a long-distance relationship with someone who lives a time zone or two away; the difficulty of letting someone else know that one is not interested in pursuing a relationship with him or her; and the superficiality of some men.

“Some of these guys are so picky,” Buono says. “We have guys looking only for blond, blue-eyed women. That's very shallow.”

Another common annoyance is the uncomfortable pressure some older men place on younger women. Buono mentions the ubiquitous 40–something male searching for a 20–something woman.

In addition, some people hold that the critical but mysterious element of “chemistry” is something that Web sites cannot provide.

Jennifer Rames, 32, a former member of CatholicSingles.com, says she had “disappointment after disappointment” with meeting men.

“I would e-mail someone … then talk on the phone, and then we would arrange a meeting at a coffee house or restaurant. But when it came to meeting one another, there was never any 'spark,'” she says. “I'd always come home from these meetings feeling more defeated than ever. In theory, the concept [of meeting people online] was great; however, in reality, the crucial component of ‘chemistry’ was missing.”

Susan (who declined to give her last name) says she met a number of “problem” men during her membership on a site whose name she declined to give.

“A few of them were frustrated over their dating failures and they complained about their former dates constantly, some had low self-esteem — one of them was so nervous that he was shaking nonstop during our first date,” she says. “A few had commitment problems, others were just plain jerks. I've been stood up a few times, too. Another made some racist comments.”

Regardless, she says, she still had some positive experiences. “I did meet a few wonderful guys. One of them became a long-term boyfriend and another is a very good friend.”

Fortunately, harassment by one member toward another has been minor, according to all three spokesmen.

“To our knowledge, we haven't had any reports of criminal or greatly immoral behavior,” Barcaro says. “In the last three or four years, we've probably only deactivated three or four accounts due to online misbehavior.”

Happy Endings

Despite some faults, the Web sites feature plenty of “success stories” about couples who married because they met on the sites, as well as endorsements by prominent Catholics.

Ave Maria boasts endorsements by Father Benedict Groeschel (whose niece met her husband on Ave Maria), Kimberly and Scott Hahn, and Karl Keating, while St.Raphael.net takes pride in endorsements by Father Frank Pavone, founder of Priests for Life, and author Michael Rose.

Leilani Goeckner, 42, coordinator of young adult ministry for the Archdiocese of Los Angeles, believes Catholic singles Web sites are worthwhile.

“They're important, especially today,” she says. “Many young people are technologically savvy. As the Church we need to use innovative ways of meeting the needs of our young adults. I think it's a positive thing.”

Martin Mazloom writes from Monterey Park, California.