My oldest son constantly claims he didn’t hear me after I’ve asked or told him to do something. There’s nothing wrong with his hearing. I’ve had it tested.

Sounds as though your son suffers from a widespread childhood affliction: Selective Hearing Loss (SHL). It plagues kids of all ages, typically becoming more acute in adolescence. There is one main symptom: deafness to unwanted words coming from unrelenting parents.

When your son claims SHL, one of two things is happening. In the first and more frequent instance, he heard you all right, but he’s denying it to dodge your request or your wrath. I mean, how can you blame him if the sound of the cat walking across the carpet drowned out your words? In the second instance, he really didn’t hear you, but this is because he has learned to tune you out. In either case, the treatment for SHL is the same. It involves medicine taken in several steps.

Step #1. When you have something important to say, but suspect your son won’t think likewise — whether it’s as everyday as asking him to take out the trash or as weighty as reminding him about no house guest on Friday night because you’ll be out late — say it with your mouth as close to his ear as possible. Resist the temptation to raise your voice. This step may require a little extra walking on your part, but as long as there’s a room, a wall, paper, or some air between you and your son, SHL is more likely to strike.

Step #2. If possible, make eye contact. This isn’t always easy, especially with kids whose eyes reflexively roll toward the ceiling at first sound of their parents’ voices.

Step #3. Ask your son to repeat what you just said. Probably he’ll semi-grudgingly parrot back your words. That’s okay, because herein lies the ultimate cure for SHL. Now there is no way he can claim he didn’t hear you.

As a maintenance treatment for SHL, hold your son accountable for his selectively poor hearing. If he didn’t “hear” you, tell him to come straight home after school and require him to stay home tomorrow, too. See if his hearing doesn’t improve when he bears some cost for not hearing.

One caution: Selective Hearing Loss is contagious. Not only can siblings catch it from siblings, but, with prolonged exposure, even you might be afflicted. One mother told me that any time her kids approached her with, “Mom, will you …” she blocked out the rest.

Ray Guarendi is a clinical psychologist, speaker and author of You’re a Better Parent Than You Think!