Actions Shout

My husband takes our young sons on a hunting excursion twice a year. Without exception, they do not attend Sunday Mass during the outing. There is a church nearby, but my husband says it would be too inconvenient and disruptive. Is this reasonable, or should they make a greater effort?

This is a classic case where actions speak louder than words. It doesn't make a difference one iota what we teach our children orally if we aren't consistent in backing it up with our own behavior.

The Catechism says that missing Sunday Mass is grave matter. Whether or not this instance is a fully culpable mortal sin is not for us to decide. But we do know that to take the trouble to go to that Mass would teach your child a lesson with the potential to reorder his priorities for a lifetime.

Kids are like global positioning systems when it comes to zeroing in on hypocrisy. If your kids are taught that we are obligated to attend Mass every Sunday, and you attend 50 out of 52 weeks of the year, guess what your kids will remember? They won't get the message that Mass is obligatory; they'll learn that Mass is something we do unless something better comes along. In other words, it's optional. And if it's optional, it can't be that important.

We know that Mass is not only important — it is the central activity of our faith as Catholics. If our relationship with the Lord is at the center of our lives, and Mass is the central act of our faith, then it follows that the most basic activity of our lives is the celebration of the Eucharist. Living this truth consistently matters infinitely more than words.

Tom: To illustrate this, I am reminded of the family vacations we used to take when I was a boy. Every summer, we would spend four weeks on the road, driving from Omaha to Los Angeles and everywhere in between, visiting relatives and sightseeing. After two long days driving across Nebraska and Wyoming, we would end up spending Saturday night in Salt Lake City. Sunday morning, we would hit the road again early.

Every year, my dad made sure that we got to Salt Lake City early enough to make it to the Saturday evening Mass at the one Catholic church in town. He was never one to be preachy, so going to Mass was never a matter of discussion. He and my mother simply made it a priority for our family, period. As a result, after years of never missing Mass even on these grueling road trips, I got the message loud and clear. There are no words a parent can utter that carry more power than the simple act of living the message.

This is a pivotal area of concern for your sons in their faith formation, and one on which you and your husband absolutely must be in total agreement. Your sons will be impacted far more permanently not by the 50 routine trips to Mass every year but by the two times that it would be so easy not to go. These are the times they'll remember how important the Eucharist is.

Tom and Caroline McDonald are family-life directors for the Archdiocese of Mobile, Alabama.

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