In a recent conversation, a friend and I chatted about our relationship with the Blessed Virgin Mary. Growing up, she had placed Mary on a pedestal: perfect and holy, but untouchable and unrelatable. To her, Mary seemed disconnected from everyday life. It wasn’t until my friend became a mom that she started to better understand Mary. We can ponder how Mary cared for the Child Jesus, how she cooked meals and cleaned her home, and how she faced challenges and struggles and sorrow (the Church celebrates Our Lady of Sorrows on Sept. 15). 

Considering Mary’s real life led my friend to better understand how integral Our Lady is to our walk with Christ and how she gives us an example to follow in both our prayer and work.

Mary, perfect and holy, should be in a place of honor and veneration in our lives. But she also is our Mother, caring and compassionate, and should have a place of love and devotion in our hearts. 

Prayerfully considering the events of her life and connecting them to our own can challenge us to grow in holiness and virtue. In her new book Real Life with Mary: Growing in Virtue to Magnify the Lord, Kelsey Gillespy has created an approachable guide to Our Lady. Gillespy shares how a relationship with Mary can shift our perspective on finding faith in the normal, ordinary circumstances of our lives.

Organized into 20 chapters each themed with a different virtue, the book artfully connects an event from the life of Mary with a story from the normal life of the author. Conversational in tone, the book is easy to relate to, using unique storytelling that leads to personal reflection and connection. Gillespy guides the reader to see a direct link between daily life and events we can read in the Bible about the Holy Family. Each chapter includes verses from Scripture and reflection/discussion questions. In the “Fiat” section, the reader is given specific challenges to grow in the virtue highlighted in that chapter, invited to magnify the Lord by modeling Mary. An original prayer wraps up the chapter, offering intentional words to Jesus about one’s faith and life journey. 

There’s ample content to lead to reflection and action, but each chapter is short enough that it would be easy to read in just a few minutes. The book could be used once a day, or even spread out once a week, leading to application of the challenges and pursuit of the virtues. It’s a book that makes growing in relationship with Mary completely accessible. 

Take this excerpt on suffering within the “Redemptive Suffering” section:

“Mary knew all about suffering, but instead of wishing it away, she courageously endured her pain with Jesus and for Jesus.”

In discussing Christ’s own suffering, the author adds, “Jesus didn’t suffer alone. Mary was there, too, trusting Jesus, accompanying him on that journey, and suffering with him.”

The author emphasizes, “Mary … shows us how to handle suffering in a healthier, more fruitful and faithful way. … What would happen if we stopped fighting our suffering, but instead willingly endured and gave it to Jesus? Mary chose to do that her whole life, especially at the foot of the cross. … In the moments of her most unbearable suffering, Mary stayed close to Jesus and kept her eyes fixed on him.”

Real Life with Mary, from Pauline Books & Media, is Gillespy’s second book. She has also authored In the Trenches: Finding God Through Parenting Littles, which offers practical wisdom especially for moms and dads of young children. Both books present spiritual challenge in a down-to-earth style, making them perfect for use with moms’ groups or Bible studies. While reading alone would be beneficial, I imagine that discussing each chapter and sharing stories would only lead to a deeper understanding of our unique but universal call to follow the Lord.

And that’s Mary does: She desires our holiness. Our Lady is not just a statue relegated to a shelf or the bright image in a stained-glass window. She is our Mother and wants what is best for us, which is to know, love and serve her Son, Jesus Christ. She is the Queen of Heaven, but knows the struggles and challenges of daily life. Her “Yes” to the Lord continues even to today, and her model can teach us to magnify God in all we say and do. Real Life with Mary is the perfect devotional to encourage prayerful friendship with the Blessed Virgin Mary and then allow that friendship to guide one on the path to holiness.