Being a Secular Progressive Means...

The ability to hold mutually exclusive ideas.

Being a secular progressive means believing that...

  • a failure to regulate all industries harms women and minorities especially, while also believing that any attempt to regulate the abortion industry harms women and minorities especially.
  • gender is meaningless yet men are evil.
  • science should inform politics but that human life begins whenever a mother darn well says it does.
  • gender is fluid but sexual identity is fixed at birth.
  • minorities aren't responsible for crimes they commit but white people are responsible for things their great grandfathers might have done.
  • Christians must be forced to bake a cake for same-sex marriages because #tolerance but Rockettes have the right not to dance at the presidential inauguration.
  • sugary products should be taxed out of existence but marijuana should be legalized.
  • having a gun makes you more likely to be shot while also believing that free birth control makes you less likely to get pregnant.
  • the Catholic Church is prudish and anti-sex while complaining that Catholics have too many babies.
  • refusing public money to Planned Parenthood is anti-woman but refusing public money to Catholic schools isn't anti-Catholic.
  • either the world created itself naturally without God in which case there is no God to worship or that God created everything including evil in which case God is not worthy of worship.
  • man is just part of the natural world but everything he creates is unnatural.
  • marriage is inherently meaningless so it should be made to incorporate so many meanings so as to become meaningless.