Which Is Better? Easter or Christmas?
It is time to address the elephant in the room. The only way to deal with it is head on. To weigh the pros and the cons and determine once and for all, which is the better holiday, Christmas or Easter.
I could go all theological on you, but this is me so ... there will be other criteria.
Let’s get to it, shall we?
R.E.M. Sleep
On Christmas, Dad is up until 5:30 am putting together bicycles and toys clearly shipped with extra parts all the while crying on the inside about the state of his bank account. He is finally off to bed only to ripped from his sugarplum dreams a mere 45 minutes later as his joy-filled but interminably loud children demand immediate access to their undeserved booty.
On Easter, Dad hides a couple of plastic eggs with Jelly beans inside just after watching a very special Law & Order and he is snoozing away by 10:07 pm.
Edge - Easter
The Smell Factor
If you misplace a Christmas present only to find it a few months later, it is a pleasant surprise. A misplaced Easter egg found after a few months, not so much.
Edge - Christmas
This Guy!
Edge - Easter
Re-Giftability
If you get a present you don’t like for Christmas, you have options. You can return it or even better, you can re-gift it. I mean, you only need so many George Foreman Grills and fruitcakes after all. But for some reason I don’t fully comprehend, you cannot return or re-gift a chocolate Easter bunny. The guy at Walgreens said it had to do with the missing eyes and the half-eaten ear, but I think he was just anti-Christian.
Edge—Christmas
Cleanup Factor
I would say that the annoyance of vacuuming up pine needles as opposed to that plastic Easter basket grass is a draw, but that is where the moral equivalence ends. The Easter mess is done and gone within a day, but the Christmas mess lasts at least weeks. Actually, I am not sure if the Christmas mess with my five children ever really goes away, it just has peaks and valleys.
Edge—Easter
Mascot
Santa Rocks. The fictional Saint Nick can fly (although assisted), and he can go down chimneys with just a little Elizabeth Montgomeryesque nose twitch. And the real Saint Nick was a heretic punching bishop. Santa Rocks.
The Easter bunny has passive aggressive beta male written all over it (if it even is a male?). It was born to play second fiddle to the Big Man, it is the Frank Stallone of mythological creatures.
Edge - Christmas
Peeps
(Ya know those little yellow marshmallow chickens?)
One of the great things about Easter is the first 2-3 peeps you eat. One of the worst things about Easter is every peep you eat after that. I couldn’t even look at another peep if Easter happened more than once a year.
Edge - Draw
T.V. Specials.
This one isn’t even close.
Christmas has these guys…
And Easter has these guys….
‘Nuff said.
Edge—Christmas
Admittedly, this is a far from exhaustive list of the myriad criteria involved in determining the bestest holiday. What did I miss?
