Heart. Breaking.

I concur with Melissa.

I remember being a teenager and being willing to compromise my morals and values for my girlfriend…thank God we never went there. I’m married now, to a different woman, whom I knew I could never do that with before marriage because I love her, not just with passion, but with respect, and she is the mother of my children and I grow in that respect daily. Thank God He saved me from that bad reasoning and emotional morality!

I’m always falling into the trap of bemoaning all the things I didn’t manage to give my children. But this is a reminder that I have given them some priceless things that are so much a part of the ordinary background of life that they’re usually invisible to me. The knowledge that they “don’t have to do this” is one of those. It doesn’t mean that they won’t have temptations or that they won’t choose evil—just that they are blessedly free from certain pressures that other teenagers are under.

Amen, Simcha.  But, of course, there’s not much money to be made by truly empowering young women in such ways.

Thank you for saying this out loud!  I remember my own inability to believe in the strength God gave me and how long it took my marriage to become healthy despite my past mistakes and decisions (NFP was a big help here).

We are stronger than we know.  There are still snakes in the garden and Planned Parenthood is the biggest!  Be strong for your daughters (and her friends).  Be brave enough to tell them that saying Yes to yourself usually means saying No to someone else.  And that’s okay.

But - please don’t forget your sons!!  Teach them that they are the strongest men in the world when they learn that they can control themselves and protect themselves and their girlfriends from the snakes.

So incredibly apropos on the International Day of Women…while organizations like Planned Parenthood seek to destroy them, saying these things outloud has the power to build girls and women up. I was hoping to come up with a clever post about how Planned Parenthood is refusing to do just what you said, but you said it better than I ever could have. So I will link to you :)

I agree with Rachel M.: Don’t forget your sons. They also need to know that they don’t have to do this.

I think we focus too much on girls as victims of the boys—if the girl would only say no to his advances. I’ve taught high school and middle school and have seen the girls engaged as much as the boys in the seduction dance. In fact, if you were at my school right now, I could take you into the hallway and show you girls with exposed cleavage (from a little to a lot—we tried to enforce a dress code but only got silence and push back from the parents) making every effort to get the attention of the boys who, truth be told, are biologically much less capable of withstanding such temptation. It’s just as plausible that the girl you saw at Wal-Mart led the boy over to the condom aisle. But, either way, the person led likely had no objection. Both boys and girls in our society have had their sexual desires shoved into overdrive by the culture. We need to give both a reason to say no.

Of course there is no protection against STDs, none whatsoever,especially against HPV ( human papillomavirus ) and herpes.

I agree with others, heart breaking is the best way to describe this.

Just keep praying. Pray pray pray!

I so wish I had been given the gift of chastity formation when I was a teenager.  I look back on those years, and am so sad that not one adult ever gave me the language of abstinence. 
I was sheltered from some awful mistakes by the grace of God, and now I know that my children will be able to say, “Whatever else she failed at, at least mom taught us how to stay sexually pure in a fallen world.”

@William - you’re right that girls are complicit in their own way, but the skimpy outfits and “seduction dance” are really more about attention, approval, and popularity than sexual conquest. Really! Being a teen girl once, I can tell you that most teen girls do these things out of a need for acceptance and because they think it’s expected…and because they have no real idea of what cleavage does to a guy or what they’re getting into. If you really want them to “cover up” give them a sense of who they are and what they’re really capable of. The rest will take care of itself.

I wish you had said something too.

I’d go a bit further, and say that I wish I’d had more support to repent and come back after slipping. At my church the sins people repented of were things like not spending enough time in prayer, or other (ahem) higher-minded sins. At 20 I felt like there was no going back, no reclamation possible of a virtuous life. And my emotional state was tortured. I was terribly lonely and depressed, and a boyfriend, and then another, seemed like the cure. I wish someone had cared enough to really talk about what it meant, and what I really needed. We should help young people avoid this sin, and help others come back from it as well.

Like Mr. Ferguson said, there are girls out there with intentions too. GIrls who don’t need to be told they “don’t have to do this” because the truth is that they are actually seeking it, out of curiosity or what they think is love or even plain old lust - which, again, guess what, is not the sole domain of boys.

Teenagers make their fair share of idiotic mistakes and I’m fairly sure that it isn’t all advertising that gets them there. Look at The Truth campaign, which couldn’t have been more graphic about what happens when you smoke cigarettes, about what’s inside of those cancer sticks, about the slow suicide that they incur. I still see teenagers sucking down smoke outside 7-11.

@Tigerlily-I agree that giving girls a sense of who they are and what they’re capable of is very important. I have two daughters who I hope will have that kind of moral and psychological grounding. I also have a son and have been a boy and know that boys need the same thing—particularly boys whose fathers have walked out or been driven out by divorce. And there are large numbers of those boys in our society.

But, even if it’s not about sexual conquest with girls and is instead about popularity and acceptance, it is no less morally culpable to use sex as a means of achieving these. It’s not the type of satisfaction one receives that is culpable but the means. Further, boys are driven in part by popularity and acceptance, as well (for example, I remember intense pressure not to be known as a virgin by other boys after a certain age).

“And God created man to his own image: to the image of God he created him: male and female he created them.”

It takes two. And, we need to address both sides with charity and concern.

I’m trying to think of what you actually could say in such a situation that might make a difference.  Maybe look her in the eye and say, “You can do better.”

Admittedly, she wouldn’t grasp the full meaning right away.

I think its important to remember that blog posts will never, ever, cover an entirety of a subject.  To say, “why are you so concerned about girls being victims? Boys are victims too!” reminds me of that story of Mother Theresa.  Someone asked her why she feeds poor people rather than teaching them to fish. Her answer was, “my people are so poor that they cannot even feed themselves.  I will feed them, you teach them to fish.” 

I can’t speak for Simcha, but being a woman and being a mother, I have more sympathy for girls.  I understand them better.  I can’t imagine sitting in an abortion clinic waiting for someone to rip the child out of my womb.  Yet, girls do this all the time and are told that it is their right.  And Planned Parenthood pretends to be a friend to teenage girls, and its their worst enemy. 

As women we are told by society to abandon our natural instincts because those are the things that keep up oppressed.  We are taught to act more like men in the workplace and at night clubs.  It takes a lot to realize how insidious all of these influences are. 

Of course, boys are victims of today’s sick society too.  But again, not every blogpost will address every nuance of every subject. That’s what books and libraries are for.

We adults have to begin to stand up for the truth in our culture and teach our teens to say kind, but value affirming things to their peers.  If we continue to walk away, feeling timid, we miss out on opportunities to share virtues.  It takes courage and means we are on the front line and means we take risks of ridicule, but what is the worst that can happen?

We must remember to be kind and gentle. I have taken a lot of flack for “imposing” my ideas on others, but if I plant a seed, so be it.  If not, well, I just have to not take it personally.

  If we come across kids looking at condoms, we could incite fear - “I’ve heard of employees sticking pinholes through the package.”  Or, “Remember that these are not 100% effective, so be ready for the consequences.” Or, what would your parents think?...You could take more time to strike up a conversation and then be gentle and influential.  One problem is, many people do not care to be influenced by a stranger.

www.marriagecoachlynn.com
www.unassistedhomebirth.com

I agree the damage is the same no matter what the motive - but the culpability? I’m not sure it’s helpful to frame this issue in terms of who is to blame and by how much. I just don’t think most 15 year olds (girls or boys) are culpable in the same way as, say, a 25-year old doing the same things. And they’re certainly not as culpable as the “adults” who tell them to just take a pill. I’m not saying that there can’t be culpability there or that someone that age is incapable of sin - just that the issue is more complex than whatever high school girls may or may not be wearing.

And to Harvey’s point - the needs of boys definitely need to be considered and understood - and their burden is certainly great. No argument here. But I think the author’s focus on girls is fair given that PP and their ilk target the girls first.

“But again, not every blogpost will address every nuance of every subject. That’s what books and libraries are for.”

Actually, that’s what comments are for. Every blog I’ve ever read has comments that discuss and expand the original topic.

“Here is an escort in an orange vest:  She will help you get past him.  She will take you back to your mother’s house.  She will pick you up at the library, she will make sure you go to bed at night, she will listen to you without texting her friends at the same time, and she won’t make you do anything weird.”

This brought tears to my eyes.  I’ve seen so many elderly men and women in yellow vests outside Planned Parenthood with their huge, yellow umbrellas, escorting crying teenagers in and out of their death house, sometimes holding the teenage girls upright because they can hardly walk after they’ve been violated once again. 

What a good reminder you’ve given us, Simcha, to speak up when and how and in what circumstances we can to say, “You don’t have to do this!”  Even if our voices are only heard by God because we’re now praying silently at home with our own Little Ones. 

Thank you for the reminder.  May God bless you and your family.

I actually did say something to a 15 yr old who came into our crisis pregnancy center for a pregnancy test. She was shaking and teary before the test and dancing and laughing after the test showed negative. I asked her why she was so happy. Her response-“DUUUH! I’m only 15.” I told her her if she is too young to have a baby, she is too young to do what makes a baby. It literally knocked her off her feet (and onto the sofa) “No one has ever said that to me before. I can really say ‘No’?” Heartbreaking.

An aquaintance of mine who works with a distress pregnancy group saw a group of girls choosing dresses with the definite mind to seduce.

She walked up to them and handed them the card of the pregnancy center.

She said it seemed to stop the girls in their tracks.

I hope I can be the escort in the orange vest. To my daughters and teens at Walmart. Thanks for the thoughtful post.

Thank you, Simcha!

I am a female, 20-year-old college student and I can attest to the truth of this. Before I realized that I am the one in control of my body - before I took action, did research, and stood up for myself - I was one of those girls on oral contraceptives, someone who blindly thought that the gynecologist had my best interests at heart. I have never been sexually active and do not plan to be until I am married, hence I have no need for birth control, but when I went to the doctor for amenorrhea (absent periods) my doctor didn’t want to waste two seconds of her time trying to diagnose the source of the problem. In her mind, being on birth control was every teenager’s dream, as if this visit and my concerns for my health were a facade and an excuse for me to easily access contraception. It breaks my heart how many of my peers are on birth control for “health reasons,” unaware of the entirely new health issues they are causing, and slowly warping their mindset regarding their own sexuality. The transition from oral contraceptives as a regulator of menstrual cycles to an enabler of sex is all too convenient and easy…

You know, a lot of the comments here seek to blame or remove blame for the girls, and so are missing the point.  Even a girl who is “looking to seduce”—and I have been there, in part to try to overcome the heartbreak of being seduced when I felt “in control”—can be told, “You don’t need to do this.”  She needs this because she’s getting the message that this is what makes her a strong, liberated woman:  having sex an being in control of the conquest and her own emotional response to it.  And this isn’t a problem unique to teenagers.

The reason birth control is so widely promoted by social services is because most unwanted/teen pregnancies occur in low-income communities that need these services most. I agree that taking the pressure off girls to be sexually active is important, but you also can’t deny the fact that teens have sex. It’s actually a bit of a relief that those kids were in the store to buy condoms rather than to get the “morning after pill”.

Planned Parenthood provides a wonderful service: crucial health care for women who are uninsured. A lot of women with basic health insurance that doesn’t cover gynecologist visits still need to get regular vaginal exams. If it wasn’t for the services available at PP a lot of women would not discover the growth of potentially cancerous cells in time. Without access to women’s health care, the danger of developing cervical cancer unbeknown is very real.

I received abstinence-only sex-ed at a Catholic school and while I was not sexually active in my teen years, I was very irresponsible later because no one taught me how to have safe sex. Teens want to have sex because they are curious about it. After all, their parents have had it so what could be so bad? They hear the word and know the basics of what it entails and see inferences to it in every form of media so they ask themselves “WHAT IS SEX?!” and who answers the question for them? The Church is afraid to educate teenagers about sexual intercourse because then they will think it’s okay to do it, but teens don’t know what sex is all about so they want to find out for themselves. They can’t ask the question because it’s taboo to discuss and it’s when they rely on each other to learn about sex that they are put in danger. “You don’t have to do this” is a good message, but it shouldn’t stop there. “You don’t have to do this, but if you want to, here’s how to do it safely” is what teens should hear.

@lapetitesirene-I’m so sorry you are misinformed. PP is not looking out for the best interest of women. They are looking to make money, and do this by providing falty contraceptives and killing babies. If you don’t beleive this, read the book by Abby Johnson, Unplanned. You will be very surprised. The Church is not afraid to educate teens, some adults are. My 8 mo old daughter and I pray nightly for all women-pregnant, with young children, those want to be pregnant and those contemplating abortion. We pray for God’s wisdom, love, and mercy to be shown to them.

Simcha-wonderful article.

@lapetitesirene: first of all, nobody—and I mean NOBODY—*needs* birth control.  I am a healthcare provider who has worked extensively in family practice and I can tell you that there is truly no medical indication for hormonal contraception.  From a physiological standpoint, contraceptives actually interfere with normal physiology; they do not correct abnormal physiology.  Secondly, make no mistake about the intention of Planned Parenthood.  Their supposed benevolence in providing such services is because it actually INCREASES their bottom line by increasing the abortion rates.  The Alan Guttmacher Institute—the research arm of PP—regularly reports that 3 of 4 women seeking an abortion were using some form of birth control in the month they became pregnant—hence the *need* for abortion - as a back-up to failed contraception.  And I can tell you, too—not just anecdotally, but with research to back it up—that contraception fails on a very, very regular basis.  Lastly, regarding cervical cancer: please remember that no form of barrier birth control can completely protect against HPV (because HPV can be transmitted outside of the areas that are “covered” by barriers), that Gardasil does not protect against all forms of HPV that cause cancer (only 70%), and that the concomittant use of hormonal contraceptives actually increases the chances a woman will contract HPV and other STDs due the physiological changes that occur while on hormones.

@lapetitesirene: We, as a society, expect teens to stay off drugs. Therefore, we do not give lectures on “safe drug use”. We do not provide them with pamphlets on how to properly shoot up in order to prevent a blown vein, or a list of the more reputable drug dealers who won’t mix rat poison in with your heroin. We do not provide teens clean needles and then tell them, “You shouldn’t do this, but just in case you can’t control yourself, use this.” We know teens can exercise self-control, and there are many times when we expect them to do just that.  We campaign with “Just say no” because we know teens sometimes need a reminder that they can say no to their friends, and that saying no is okay.

Sex can be every bit as harmful and deadly as any street drug.  Kids need to be taught that, while sex isn’t dirty or something to be ashamed of, there is a right time and a right place for it in their lives just as we teach them that there is a right time and a right place for taking drugs. They don’t need to be told that it’s no big deal or that everyone does it. It is a big deal and not everyone does it. We don’t need to tell them “here’s how to do it safely” because sex outside of marriage isn’t ever safe and you’re lying to them if you say it is. I’ve yet to meet a single girl who had sex outside of marriage that didn’t end up broken hearted.  Even those who went on to marry their partners struggled to develop trust that their partner wasn’t with them just for the sex, or to overcome the mentality that I can always just leave if things get rough.

I just forwarded this to every mother I know. I wish someone had told me this when I was a teenager. What a lot of sorrow it would have saved me.

www.reversionstory.blogspot.com

I wish that people would realize that if Planned Parenthood were effective, that is, reducing the rate of teenage sexual activity, reducing the rate of statutory rape, reducing the rate of abortion, they would be out of business.  It is in their financial best interest to keep the public and teenagers and others that they “service” misinformed and continually in need of service such as killing their children for them, etc.  Never has any organization been so unsuccessful in their stated goals than Planned Parenthood, and still they garner public support.  Actually, that’s not true, the Federal Government has an equally abysmal record.

As a strong, successful, and well-respected woman (if I do say so myself), I have to argue that you have it all wrong. Planned Parenthood does offer a helping hand - but mostly one to women who can’t afford medical treatment of their own. To demonize a service that does so much good for society because some 15 year olds are (safely!) dealing with their hormones is disgraceful. I agree that 15 year olds aren’t necessarily ready to deal with sexual activity, but if you must bemoan their choices, most of the blame should really go to human biology, and perhaps a little to their parents - though admittedly, I recall being pretty bad at listening to my parents as a teenager. I think most of us were.

“The main objects of the Population Congress would be:… to apply a stern and rigid policy of sterilization and segregation to that grade of population whose progeny is already tainted, or whose inheritance is such that objectionable traits may be transmitted to offspring.”  Margaret Sanger, Founder of Planned Parenthood

“[We propose to] hire three or four colored ministers, preferably with social-service backgrounds, and with engaging personalities. The most successful educational approach to the Negro is through a religious appeal. And we do not want word to go out that we want to exterminate the Negro population, and the minister is the man who can straighten out that idea if it ever occurs to any of their more rebellious members.” Margaret Sanger, Founder of Planned Parenthood.

@Lauren—as a Catholic woman, I disagree.  We are more than just our biology.  We are souls with bodies, or bodies with souls, however you wish to look at it.  We are called to take our biology and align it with our will to do good.  Trust me, my biology really, REALLY does not want to do the 30-Day Shred, but I am doing it.  To say that adolescents, or anyone else, cannot control their desire for sex flies in the face of all the other urges that we regularly control because we desire it. 

I do believe you when you say that Planned Parenthood offers many services that good Catholics could condone—they don’t ONLY offer abortion and birth control.  But, their lack of willingness to remove just abortion from the services they provide speaks volumes about their overall agenda.  And make no mistake: they do have an agenda, and it isn’t just making affordable reproductive healthcare available to all who need it.  If it were, they would stop providing abortions, thus expanding their base of support.

“[E]arlier generations of Americans waited longer to have sex, took fewer sexual partners across their lifetimes, and were more likely to see sleeping together as a way station on the road to wedlock. And they may have been happier for it. That’s the conclusion suggested by two sociologists, Mark Regnerus and Jeremy Uecker, in their recent book, “Premarital Sex in America.” Their research…finds a significant correlation between sexual restraint and emotional well-being, between monogamy and happiness — and between promiscuity and depression. This correlation is much stronger for women than for men. Female emotional well-being seems to be tightly bound to sexual stability — which may help explain why overall female happiness has actually drifted downward since the sexual revolution. Among the young people Regnerus and Uecker studied, the happiest women were those with a current sexual partner and only one or two partners in their lifetime. Virgins were almost as happy, though not quite, and then a young woman’s likelihood of depression rose steadily as her number of partners climbed and the present stability of her sex life diminished.”

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/03/07/opinion/07douthat.html?_r=1&partner=rssnyt&emc=rss

In my experience a lot of the young practising Catholics today are getting into Theology of the Body which seems to give them a lot of positive reasons to say no rather than the old approach we grew up -don’t do it or you will go blind- and similar comments or often nothing at all. Most of the reasons -such as you will burn in hell- were based on fear. The problem is that when the fear wears off one is likely to go ahead anyway. Understanding who the human person is and what marriage and sexuality are meant to be in the light of the Divine is a much better way in my opinion. Thanks for another great post Simcha- I absolutely love people with opinions!!!!!

“You know, you don’t have to do this.  This boy out there in the waiting room:  You don’t have to let him take your clothes off.  You know you don’t have to, right?  Tell this boy you don’t want to.  Tell him to go away.”—->

I am speaking only for myself here, but I went to Planned Parenthood and got contraception because I WANTED to do. Planned Parenthood empowered me. They taught me facts about my body I didn’t know (no Internet in those days) and they taught me how to protect myself from pregnancy and diseases. They were there for me when I needed them.

Over the years, I have given more to Planned Parenthood than I give at mass, because I want them to be there for my 14-year old daughter, too.

Uhm ... so how do you know that *she* wasn’t pressuring *him* into sex?

And moreover, Alexander the Great was regent of Macedonia at his and her age, wasn’t he?  Is there a verse in the bible that dictates how old a person must be before his or her souls are lost forever—corrupted by protected sexual activities?

I mean, good grief; Mary was 12 (or younger) during the conception.

You can’t say that it was a different society then, because then what you’re talking about is a social issue and not related to God at all; the father of Jesus at the time of the conception; immaculate or no ...

I personally think that for yourself, if may not be a religious issue at all.  It may be a social—or even biological one.  You really focused on him and his behavior a lot.  Perhaps if you approved of her choice in partners, you may have felt slightly differently.  Or, at the very least, slightly less bothered.

Younger people having sex with other younger people has seemingly *never* been an issue for God; so why try to make it one?  Did He update the Word in a way I’m not privy to?  TO make matters even more odd—he rarely took age into account when marrying *anyone*, sorry to say.

Now, I personally think 15-year-olds have better things to do than to be concerned about sex, at least these two were “daring” each other in the right direction.  Hooray for them.

“...TO make matters even more odd—he rarely took age into account when marrying *anyone*, sorry to say…”

That is to say when bringing two people together in marriage within the context of the bible.

“...Did He update the Word in a way I’m not privy to?...”

Yes, I am referring to both books.

THANK GOODNESS, JULIAN, THE SMARTEST MAN ON THE INTERNET, FINALLY SHARED HIS THOUGHT ON THIS.

Why thank you, Gary the Alligator :)

Lauren, I will heartily “demonize” the “service” of PP because that organization is making millions each year by forcibly separating mothers from their children. No matter what high-sounding orwellian doublespeak they employ, it’s all window-dressing to the fact that killing kids is big business…and sticking up for PP is just aiding & abetting that travesty.

L. if you have been giving money to Planned Parenthood then you are guilty of supporting murder and thus are automatically excommunicated. Thus you should not be receiving communion and you need to repent before you die or you will go to Hell.

@L.: The word you are looking for is not empowered. It’s enabled. They enabled you to do something that was harmful to your and your soul. They told you that it would give you the power of choice, something you already had, but what they meant was that it gave you the “power” to have sex “without consequences”. It was a lie, but you trusted them and never questioned what they taught you. You bought into it. Now, you’re enabling them to enable your daughter and other girls like her to do something that is harmful to her body and soul. I find it on the one hand encouraging that you go to Mass as this indicates that there is some part of you that still hopes for salvation and on the other hand disturbing that you brag about being more financially generous to an organization that destroys so many lives each year with the money you give them than to an organization who dedicates itself to saving souls and lives.  I don’t say this because I think you’re a terrible person who doesn’t love her daughter or care about other people. I say this because I am certain that you do love your daughter, that you do care about others, and that you are a good person who has fallen and does not see it.

Julian maybe you should check your facts. Nobody says the Virgin Mary was 12 or younger. The tradition is that she was 15 or 16. The virginal Conception of Jesus has nothing in common with this discussion about two unmarried teenagers planning to indulge their lusts outside marriage. It is attitudes like yours that has destroyed the lives and purity of millions of young people leading many of them into lives of depression and hopelessness and addictions to drugs and alcohol among others.

Julian, you destroyed your argument yourself - first by pointing out two truly exceptional people (Alexander the Great and Our Lady), and then by stating that God rarely took age into account “when bringing two people together in marriage within the context of the Bible.”

Exceptional people.
Marriage.

The first part is indeed a social issue. I challenge you to come up with more than a few couples in the last hundred (heck, thousand) years who have voluntarily married at 15 - and remained faithfully and happily married for a lifetime. It just doesn’t happen. Sadly, we don’t raise many Alexander the Greats and Blessed Mother Marys these days. Kids at 15 are rarely mature enough to set their own curfew, much less engage in sexual intercourse and deal with the emotional and physical consequences. Commitment of that kind is far beyond them.

The second is religious (though also social in nature) - marriage. Are you suggesting these two kids were married? Or even planning on it? Can you imagine that the thought ever crossed their minds? People randomly having sex with other people has ALWAYS been an issue for God. The sexual act is consecrated in marriage, and that is the only time it is not sinful.

Both Christ and Alexander died at 33,
One lived and died for self,
the other for you and me.

Simcha, I have to say that you are a fantastic addition to the NCRegister’s blogging team.  Not only do you address your topics in a fresh way, but you have a crisp boldness to your writing style that is wonderful to read.  Your passion is tangible.

Perhaps your article will inspire other people who witness teens in this same situation to say something.  I, for one, hope that I will have the courage.

@GARY THE ALLIGATOR: I agree with you that Julian is in error. I applaud your desire to stand up for the truth. However, if we are to correct him, let us correct him in charity. As tempting as it is to let fly with a snarky remark or a sarcastic comment when confronted with someone who disagrees with us, it is better to remember that this, too, is a child of God. We do not know the state of their lives or their soul, and I for one would not want my words to be the straw that broke the camel’s back.

Simcha Fisher, I love you.

I’ve been listening to “Uncle Tom’s Cabin” over the last week and the characterization of the unfeeling, ignorant slave owner is that they are constantly saying things like “what could they want with marriage? They don’t have feelings like we do?”  These words are always to excuse when mothers are separated from their children or parents are separated from each other, or owners try to force their slaves to just “marry another” so that they will be “happier” on their own plantation.  Over and over again, these slave owners are describing their slaves as people whose desire for higher things (love vs. sex, love of child vs. warm home, etc.)are constantly diminished.  After reading this, I realize that we talk about teenagers in this same way - they can’t control themselves, etc. etc. 

It’s funny that the new initiative is to prevent bullying.  So, we think that kids can stop themselves by restraining themselves from violence or domineering behavior, dealing with frustration, jealousy and competition as adults… but we shouldn’t challenge them to value sex and give their bodies and their emotions to another human being who will cherish it. 

What a strange world.

@Brandy Miller
“Kids need to be taught that, while sex isn’t dirty or something to be ashamed of, there is a right time and a right place for it in their lives just as we teach them that there is a right time and a right place for taking drugs. They don’t need to be told that it’s no big deal or that everyone does it. It is a big deal and not everyone does it.”

I totally agree!  I was told not to do it, that’s it.  So of course my curiosity was running rampant and I did it and to this day I wish I would have waited.  I wish I would have known the pain and heart break that follows it.

The Planned Parenthoods in my area don’t provide abortions.  I had no idea that they do in other areas.

I think people are forgetting that Planned Parenthood isn’t something that encourages teenagers into having sex. It’s not a failsafe, it’s guidance. And I applaud them on taking a neutral stance on the matter. Ultimately, it’s up to parents to teach their children about abstaining.

Otherwise, create your own organization that teaches about abstinence. Don’t rely on others.

@ Tyumbra: 
-
New York City, N.Y., Mar 14, 2010 / 05:47 pm (CNA).
Early this week, the World Association of Girl Guides and Girl Scouts hosted a panel in which Planned Parenthood was allowed to distribute brochures containing sexually explicit material to the young girls. The panel served as part of the annual U.N. Commission on the Status of Women (CSW).
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According to the Catholic Family and Human Rights Institute (C-FAM),“Happy, Healthy and Hot,” are aimed at young people with HIV and give graphic details on sex, encouraging a casual approach to sexual experimentation. The brightly colored pamphlets feature silhouettes of young people and state, “Many people think sex is just about vaginal or anal intercourse… But, there are lots of different ways to have sex and lots of different types of sex. There is no right or wrong way to have sex. Just have fun, explore and be yourself!”
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The pamphlet continues by encouraging adolescents to “Improve your sex life by getting to know your own body. Play with yourself! Masturbation is a great way to find out more about your body and what you find sexually stimulating. Mix things up by using different kinds of touch from very soft to hard. Talk about or act out your fantasies. Talk dirty to (your sexual partner).”
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You can read the rest here:
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http://www.catholicnewsagency.com/news/planned_parenthood_distributes_sexually_explicit_brochures_at_girl_scout_meeting/

@lapetitesirene (hmm, interesting choice, it somehow seems appropriate to remind you that the Sirens in Greek mythology lured sailors to their death on the rocks): I find that teens are people and, like most people, they tend to rise or sink to the expectations set for them.  No, it’s not a relief at all—when your eyes are opened to realize that it is all the same thing wrapped up in different packaging.
I know plenty about both the mechanics of sex, and that it’s supposed to be pretty awesome.  None of this has prompted me to seriously consider compromising what’s most important to me.  The most awkward conversations I have had about sex have not been with other Christians or Catholics.  In fact, I often find that the religious approach the topic with a refreshing maturity and lack of embarassment.

@Lauren: right, it’s just a little murder.  What’s the big deal?  Look how much good they do!

@L.: I heard a radio broadcast where a young woman was defending Planned Parenthood, talking about how much they ‘helped’ her.  What was so sad about the story was that she came in presenting some rather obvious signs of being in an abusive relationship, and nobody bothered to find out (in a gentle way, or any way at all) why she was there without her boyfriend’s knowledge and what she was afraid of.  We must accept any demand for BC at face value, we must not question!  Somebody could have offered her support then, but instead she remained with this dude for another YEAR.  So much for empowerment.

@Tyumbra: PFFFFFT!  (That was soda shooting up my nose, sorry.)  Neutral?  They’ll charge hundreds of dollars to execute your kid for you!  How is that neutral?  I will say, I agree with you, parents should be teaching the kids sexual ethics.  Not Planned Parenthood.  And we do have organizations that teach about abstinence.  One of them is (surprise!) the Catholic Church.  Maybe somebody can help me out with some other names.  We have among our ranks a wonderful writer/speaker named Jason Evert, whose book has gotten more use than almost any other on my shelf right now…

I forgot to mention, this is why the student health center on campus made my skin crawl.  Every poster on every wall had something to do with sex so that you were bombarded from beginning to end.  “I’m just here for a sinus infection, jeez!”

It is a mortal sin to support Planned Parenthood in any way, shape, or form! They are evil, a scourge upon our society!

Very sad. I can relate to thins - watching my young siblings fall into darkness without a hitch, falling into darkness at that age myself, not having a mom to tuck me in a tell me good virtuous things, etc.

Very touching.

You can be very gentle sometimes. It’s refreshing when some of your wit dwindles down to raw Truth.