Yesterday, I was chatting with the editor of my upcoming book about sex, marriage, and NFP. As a non-Catholic, she rejects the Church's teaching abut sex, marriage and NFP; but she enjoys and respects the way Catholics think and speak about the world in general. Because of the theological disparity between us, and because she's a good editor, she is very aware that she needs to separate her editorial judgment from her moral opinions of my work; and I enjoy hearing the professional perspective of someone with a different personal point of view.
We were chatting about a passage I wrote, describing a woman as "gluttonous." Here, my editor's professional poise broke down. She simply couldn't fathom one woman calling another one (even a hypothetical one!) "gluttonous." She said that she always tries to think why people do the things they do, whether it's eating too much pie or shooting up an elementary school. Maybe they had been abused as children, or had some screwy brain chemistry, or who knows? She found it totally useless to identify some behavior as "sinful," because she felt that it made us merciless toward each other. She is a compassionate and generous person, and talking about "sinful" behavior strikes her as nothing but mean.
I think her understanding of sin is this: Catholics believe there are some things that God and/or the Church does not want you to do. As long as you do them, then that makes you a bad person. No excuses.
But this is not so. The Catholic point of view only starts by identifying some behavior as sinful. We don't just say, "I notice that I do this bad thing; therefore, I am a foul sinner. Woe unto me and unto my children's children!" We say, "I notice that I do this bad thing. Ugh, I want to stop, even if only because I don't want to lose my soul. God forgive me. God help me! Why do I do this, and what can I do to change?"
The sin of gluttony is a good example of a sin that's easy to identify, but whose genesis is harder to pin down. It's one thing to sit down to a gorgeous, juicy plate of roast beef and gobble up every last bit of it with relish and delight, and then to realize, "Oof, I ate too much." But it's quite another to feed your face, mechanically and joylessly, year after year. And it's quite another to use food to comfort yourself when you're grieving, and then to keep the habit years later. And it's quite another to use food to punish yourself because you think you're ugly. And it's quite another to eat very little food at all, but to spend most of your day thinking about optimal nutrition, making other people feel cruddy for not thinking as much about it as you do.
And of course, even that overly-refined form of gluttony could have all sorts of origins: self-loathing encouraged by an abusive spouse or parent; a desire to control one aspect of an out-of-control life; or just plain old vanity.
The only thing these forms of gluttony have in common is that they have to do with food; they have nothing to do with health or enjoyment; and they are all bad for you, in body and in soul . That is why they are sins: because they will harm us. The Church warns us against them like a mother warns her children away from stinging bugs and sharp thorns.
But of course, we are not children. As adults in the faith, it's our responsibility, if we really want to conquer some habitual sin (gluttony or anything else), to work on figuring out why we are drawn to this behavior. Once we identify some behavior as sinful, we need to figure out what sort of life we would like to lead instead. That's the only point that I can see in trying to figure out why we do something that's bad for us: because it will help us to change, and will give us more compassion for others who struggle to conquer with sins of their own.
This intention to change is fundamental to the Catholic understanding of sin. In fact, it's one of the conditions of making a good confession.
In a way, examining your conscience is very much like being a good editor. Editors are trained to spot and ferret out what is objectively unacceptable in a manuscript. But the best editors do more than just mark up the page with red ink, noting all the errors. This is only helpful in the most limited way, and it may very well lead the writer, especially if they're the delicate genius type, to despair. Instead, a good editor will try to figure out what the author was actually trying to say when they went astray; and they help them to make corrections and draw out something better.
The same is true when we take a close look at our own souls. In a way, we have to do what my editor does: we have to put aside our emotional responses to what we see in our own lives and just look at it as a trained editor would: this is a sin, that is a sin, etc. We have to identify the objective errors and flaws and omissions that are making our lives second-rate. But it's not enough to just spot the errors. We have to read our lives with different eyes, and look at ourselves with that compassionate, personal point of view, and figure out why we made these mistakes -- why we do the things we do.
Because the time for revisions does run out, eventually! Night cometh, and some deadlines are final.
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Another great article, Sim!
Not the point of this post, I know - but what did your editor think of your explanation? Or what DID you say to her? I think you explain things so clearly and irrefutably (is that even a word??), that after talking with you, I think everyone would be a happy Catholic!
Great post as always, Simcha!
Oh, thanks, Tiffany. I think what I said was, “Oh, huh, I see, yuh, well . . . ” This is why I’m a writer and not a, I don’t know, suicide hotline counselor or something. I do fine with public speaking, but get me on the telephone, and I’m a moron.
You should put a podium near your telephone.
Appreciate the link to the Catholic Catechism. Beautiful: “Because the time for revisions does run out, eventually! Night cometh, and some deadlines are final”.
Great article! And an hysterical 3 minute response to Tiffany! Whew! I know the focus wasn’t gluttony, but if there are persons reading this struggling with food, I recommend just a quick check into Susan Fowler’s “The Light Weigh” or “The Light Weigh One King” spiritual growth programs. She does an excellent job identifying how food is a false friend. The emphasis is growing in faith and putting food in its place in our lives—just fuel. Again, great article Simcha!
Thanks for the insight into gluttony - a big sin of mine. I’m afraid I still don’t know what to do about it. Confession has proved ineffectual; at this point my condition of resolve is completely inapt. I’m way beyond being helped by self-help books. I’m just a voracious eater, and not too particular about the substance. I’ll skip the boring details, but it’s passed from trivial to critical - at least to those who depend on me. I myself am just a recirculated sod, going in the direction of my dirt. However, I have young to consider, and “miles to go before I sleep.” Thank you for your prayers, and Merry Christmas.
Let me get this straight, you mean to say that tempting me with exquisitely delicious, gourmet meals doesn’t make my weight problem my wife’s fault? You Catholics are so judgmental, I think I may become a fundamentalist again so I can at least place blame where it belongs.
There’s gluttony, and then there’s compulsive eating. Compulsive eating is often a sign of something else going on. It’s a symptom of adult ADHD, for example, and it gets better when the underlying cause is treated. Just throwing that out there…
Oh gosh, now I’m dying to know how you tied gluttony in with sex and NFP. It seems to me that I’ve read that the cultures that have separated sexuality from fertility end up having not that much sex at all. Is it like gorging and then starving? Read about the Aka and Ngandu tribes in Africa in The Atlantic. (—and what W.I.E.R.D. stands for)Lol!
I struggle with overeating/compulsive eating/gluttony. It’s very hard, and so far I have not been able to find anything that helps. Does anyone have any suggestions for overcoming this? I feel like I’ve heard everything. I do have a poor self-esteem (whatever that means), but most of that is because I overeat (and then feel bad about myself). It’s a vicious cycle that I seem unable to break.
Audrey—- replace overeating with a different activity- play a game with yourself- drink a glass of water before you eat anything or do 5 jumping jacks before you eat anything- take a shower and make your bed before you eat anything—-go outside and take a breath of fresh air before you eat anything- for now, don’t worry about low self esteem, but praise God constantly who is perfect (and it follows…if God is worthy of praise and you are made in His image….you must be ok)
and while you are eating- sit down, say a prayer, light a candle and listen to music, put a lemon wedge and parsley on your plate and take the time to enjoy (so this means NO FAST FOOD)- if you cook your own food and take the time to enjoy, gluttony will leave you
The first sentence in NCR’s blurb describing this article captured my attention because I heard an interesting discussion pf Humanae Vitae last Saturday. The article itself surprised me by saying, “The Catholic point of view only starts by identifying some behavior as sinful.” And the comments seemed to support that proposition, even when humorous.
Doesn’t the Catholic point of view actually start with the proposition that God loves us, made us in His image and likeness, and wants us in communion with—in heaven with—Him? Second, He wants us full of grace, happy, joyful, and at peace; He wants this so magnanimously that even after Original sin, God became man to redeem us from our own foolishness, and was crucified to do so. Catholics, like our Jewish older brothers, only get to “sin” as a concern because, like Adam and Eve, sin is how we interfere with God’s love and His loving invitation for eternity.
Simcha’s description of her editor’s stated views leads me to wonder if we Catholics give to much emphasis to sin or immorality as opposed to the Trinity and the steps to holiness—love as described by Jesus in His comments on The Greatest Commandment(s). Why did Jesus say “woe to” the scribes and pharisees but only “let he who has not sinned cast the first stone” to those who judged the adulteress?
Catholics “think” about much more than sin. When we think about loving God with our whole heart, etc., and loving our neighbor as Jesus loves us—when we think about His Will, the Sacraments (especially the Eucharist and Matrimony) we have less interest in or time for sin. When we live as true Catholics, imitating Christ, we are at peace, often truly happy, fully human and fully alive. After all, doesn’t Jesus say that He came so we may have life and enjoy it more abundantly?
Why else would Jesus eat with sinners?
So, sex comes before marriage, Simcha? “Growing In love” series in the U S bishops’ parochial schools teaches this same order of thinking.
see: http://www.motherswatch.net/content/view/12/6/ - Part 1
http://www.motherswatch.net/content/view/15/6/ - Part 2
No wonder conciliarists lead a confusing life.
A trusted priest told me that we can be guilty of excess in food and drink, but not sex, if it is always oriented toward life and mutual love.
Hi, Joan. I was wondering where you’ve been!
to Matt B. and Audrey
If you haven’t checked into The Light Weigh or The Light Weigh One King by Suzanne Fowler, please do so. She renews all by letting them discover their “preciousness to God.” And her deeply logical approach to overcoming a constant temptation to overeat draws upon deepening our faith. There is no “diet” per se to follow. Rather it is based on the stomach God gave us, its size, and savoring the food we’re eating. God did not intend a billion dollar industry of dieting…oh contrare! Her program teaches detachment and peace with food. Again, you cannot go wrong with this approach since the focus is to Trust God, growing in knowing, loving and serving Him. Please, check it out and I’ll be praying for you both!
Hi, Joe
I think you would benefit from the article excerpted and linked below about how not to appear crazy on the internet.
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Respond to an Actual Point and Not Just Something That’s Been Mentioned
Ever watch a paid partisan shill who, no matter what is said, will go to his couple of talking points? Now that has less to do with being stupid or crazy than just being soulless, but lots of crazy people are the same way, going back to the crazy stuff they really want to talk about no matter what subject people are actually on. And often crazy people will just read until they see a word or phrase that sets them off and then go off on a big, crazy rant before even reading the whole thing they’re reacting to. Often, then, they’re completely missing the point or missing that something is satire and taking it seriously.
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Now, I know when people have crazy in their brains, it is really impatient to be let out. Still, you need to teach your crazy to wait and make sure you are actually listening to and understanding what you’re responding to. Like if someone mentions when Hanukkah is this year and you respond with a rant about Jews controlling the banks, you’re not actually having a sane person conversation. You’re just reacting to words someone is saying, which, despite the similarity, is leagues different.
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http://pjmedia.com/blog/tips-for-not-appearing-crazy-on-the-internet/2/
Let us all thank God that there really are objective sins to root out, in that if there weren’t objective sins to root out, some of us would spend our time inventing objective non-sins to root out, such as smoking a cig everyone now and then.
to newcatholics08 Boy are you confusing?! I don’t understand what your judging as judgmental? But I do like your question…so my 2 cents…
First, we own our weight problem, so responsibility rests on the individual. That being said, Second, a wife who prepares “exquisitely delicious, gourmet meals” for her husband that is having a “portion control problem causing excess weight” may need to be approached and discuss more in-depth what is going on between the 2 that have become one. Yes?
Posted by Justamom on Thursday, Dec 13, 2012 1:55 PM (
Read more: http://www.ncregister.com/blog/simcha-fisher/editing-the-soul#ixzz2ExS4OOXZ
BTW, Justamom - did the ‘presbyter’ tell you about that the conjugal embrace is only for the spouses according to the Sacrament of Matrimony?
Simcha, will you answer my question, please. Does Sex come before marriage?
Sorry, I didn’t realize there was an actual question there. I, Simcha Fisher, in conformity with the teachings of the Catholic Church, believe and attest that sex outside of marriage is a grave sin, and that only married people should have sex.
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Were you honestly confused about that, just because I said the word “sex” before I said the word “marriage” in a sentence? I’m going to explain this to you again: you have a worthy cause, but you are shooting yourself in the foot by coming across as crazy and nasty.
Joan, he’s known me almost all 30 years of my marriage. Don’t look for devils where there aren’t any.
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I read the article you linked to, I didn’t like the tone of it either. It is about 90% correct, but the toxic 10% is disturbing.
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Sex between husband and wife IS a prayer. I know you don’t like the word “sex” from reading some of of the things you have posted in the past, but it makes you come off as obsessed and repulsed by something that was created by God. Sex is absolutely good, when it is the prayer it was meant to be. To use words like “sick”, is to go over to the other side. If the devil can’t get us to deform sex, by abusing it, he would like us to be disgusted by it, and teach our children that it is dirty.
Correction, I’ve been married almost thirty years and this priest has known me for most of them.
Joe:
I think your accusation has to break some sort of land speed record for jumping to conclusions. Is it *always* your purpose to assume bad faith on the basis of such flimsy evidence? Do you have nothing better to do than run around on blogs written by obvious devoted people and search for ways to accuse the brethren? That job is already taken (see Rev 12). Why don’t you do something useful with your time and stop attacking people for things they obviously aren’t saying? Get outside your Fortress Catholic bubble and do a work of mercy or something.
So, what did your editor think of this explanation?
Dear Audrey, another book that might be helpful to you is “Women, Food and God” by Geneen Roth. I found it very moving. It’s a bit non-denominational and amorphous in the God department, i.e. written for maximum accessibility, but it could offer some inspiration. Also, don’t forget to investigate whether you might have a food addiction: http://www.conversiondiary.com/2009/03/gluttony-addiction-and-not-listening-in.html
When did this stop being about food?
To all the kind referrers of book: what do you do if you’re immune to self-help? I had a very nice priest recommend books to me through 3 years of weekly confessions. To be honest with you, I haven’t read anything beyond a computer manual in 15 years. I get about 3 lines into something really “helpful,” and I’m fast asleep. My mind is completely impervious to good advice, I’m almost incapable of comprehending it. Ever since I read Scott Peck to say that he considers it permissible for a patient to abreact with his or her therapist, my mind is completely fried. I can’t even read “The Life of St. Teresa.” Is there something more direct, like an herbal infusion? An off-ramp to the road less travelled? A 7-story mountain with a lift down?
Matt,
This senior citizen joined the Catholic Church Easter Vigil 2009, I realized my sin of Gluttony, in what I ate, what I spent, and my speech, was an area ripe for spiritual growth.
The Holy Spirit guided me to a Vegan Diet. I can fast while eating a health plant based diet. Still working on the other sins in my life, my Confessor had to chuckle when I commented that my sins were like Wack a Mole. One down only to have another pop up.
Hi, Simca:
If I have a problem with food, it’s late afternoon/evening when my BW tends to watch TV in our family room - too close to the kitchen and cupboards full of snacks. On chips & similar stuff, I can’t eat “just one”, and I seem to rotate among several types. Is it boredom?
I do much better if I am on my computer, or reading in another room. I don’t seem tempted if I am not in the room where the snack food is.
We do pray five decades of the Rosary together most evenings; but I have to catch her after news/opinion shows she watches, and before the evening dramas begin. (Which is my excuse for hanging around the kitchen after dinner.)
Don’t know if my behavior really qualifies as gluttony, although I am about twenty pounds above best weight for my height. (We humans are good at rationalizing behavior that we don’t want to change.)
What do you think?
TeaPot562
Wonderful analogy Simcha! I’d love to know how your editor responds to breaking it down that way. Lovely lovely. I just like the idea, that yes, one may make grammatical errors or spelling errors, or sentence construction errors, but does that mean one is a bad writer? Maybe your editor thinks so!!
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To Matt B. and (I think) Anna Lisa - who were asking about gluttony as related to food. Well, bearing in mind that I don’t suffer from gluttony or weight problems - I’d like to share that I am in a 2.5 month (so far) experiment of what I call the Half-arsed Paleo diet. Wait, wait - don’t shy away because I used the word diet. It stands for Paleolithic - meaning what a cave man could eat (non-processed, non-genetically modified) you can eat. If not, you can’t.
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The half-arsed designation refers to the fact that I’m picking and choosing what foods to eliminate. (bear with me here, I’ll make my point shortly) I started out by cutting out all grains - bread, pasta, rice…. no corn, etc.
The first week and a half was miserable. I thought I had the flu - but I didn’t. After that, I had more energy and lost a lot of my belly because I had been bloated from all the grain.
Let me tell you, I didn’t think I could give up bread and pasta and rice. I love that stuff. and looking back I was eating one of those, daily. probably per meal.
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and suddenly, 2.5 months without it - I realize I’m not as hungry all the time. Prior to this, I was ravenous by 11:00am, and needed snacks throughout the day. I’ve read that the genetically modified wheat that most bread is made of, is like poison - and makes us addicted to it. We always want more.
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I have always been the skinny girl who would eat the entire basket of bread on the table - before the food arrives - and then eat half of the next basket of bread they brought out! And then eat my whole dinner!
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My point is… seeing how giving up the breads and grains, did a number on my digestive system - to me that’s proof that it can’t be good for me. After all, my stomach doesn’t get upset when I don’t eat beets or salad!
My suggestion is… start eliminating different things from your diet just to see how you feel when it’s not there.
I sort of see it as a challenge. I know I can always have bread again if I want. It’s not forever. But do I feel better? Yes.
and now I know I don’t really want that entire basket of bread. Sure, I could eat it. But why?
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maybe eliminating one thing at a time, as a challenge could be a positive step. You’re not saying you never get to have it again.
But you’ll know how your body really reacts to what you put in it, and then you make better choices with that knowledge.
Good luck
Weird response by Joe (she was obviously just listing the topics in her book), but anyway…thanks so much for this Simcha! Now I feel bad about that bagel and (aargh) the frozen pack of bagels in my freezer that I feel more guilty about not using. I need to get over my “don’t waste food,” consume, consume, consume mentality…even if they are yummy asiago bagels…mmmmm…wait, sorry. Great post!
Large families & small grocery budgets make gluttony less likely.I speak from experience.
:)
Sin needs to be understood in the light of the Great Commandment, to love God with all one’s strength and to love one’s neighbour as oneself. It is here that the real struggle with sin begins. How do we begin to love ourselves? Firstly, by believing and understanding that God is far more interested in our potential than our sins. Secondly, by trusting in God to see sin as a means or opportunity to develop a better insight, sensitivity, freedom and creativity. If we don’t love self we may be listening to our ego instead of our perfect and indestructible soul. We can’t give to others what we don’t possess ourselves. When we link God with punishment we will have rejected his plan for salvation in the here and now. Punishment never heals, only love can heal.
Since sin is a failure in a relationship of love, it necessarily involves the ‘heart’. For Jesus his table fellowship with sinners is central to ministry. ‘I came not to call the righteous but sinners’ (Mk. 2:17). Self-absorption and excessive self-preoccupation are the sinful pitfalls for the ‘righteous’. Perhaps it is an inherited lack of self-esteem that causes some people to have a propensity for judging and identifying the sins of others at the expense of their own.
“For God judged it better to bring good out of evil than not to permit any evil to exist.” St. Augustine
Okay, here’s the deal: Don’t buy the stuff. It works. No temptation, no bad behavior. Yes, I’m that big of a mean Sheriff. Unless of course I’m pregnant, and then all bets are off. It’s been a bonanza here for the past month. I have begun to stare lovingly at Entemann’s donut trucks, much to my husband’s shock and disgust. Yesterday,my mother deposited a giant canister of tri-flavored popcorn on my doorstep that someone had given her as a holiday party favor. She was flustered. “I can’t take it!” She yelled over her shoulder as she fled. That stuff was like flavored crack. I grazed all day and felt loathsome in body and soul. And yes, a healthy dose of Advent-Catholic-guilt this morning reproached me before I even read this.
The word ‘sin’ from the Hebrew or Greek actually means ‘to miss the mark or target’. The Gospels are replete with examples of Jesus’ tenderness and compassion towards all who encounter him, especially those who are publically identified as sinners. On numerous occasions this attitude is a source of scandal to the civic and religious leaders of the date, notably many scribes and Pharisees.
Sin needs to be understood in the light of the Great Commandment, to love God with all one’s strength and to love one’s neighbour as oneself. It is here that the real struggle with sin begins. How do we begin to love ourselves? Firstly by believing and understanding that God is far more interested in our potential than our sins. Secondly, by trusting in God to see sin as a means or opportunity to develop a better insight, sensitivity, freedom and creativity. If we don’t love self we may be listening to our ego instead of our perfect and indestructible soul. We can’t give to others what we don’t possess ourselves. When we link God with punishment we will have rejected his plan for salvation in the here and now. Punishment never heals, only love can heal.
Since sin is a failure in a relationship of love, it necessarily involves the ‘heart’. For Jesus his table fellowship with sinners is central to ministry. ‘I came not to call the righteous but sinners’ (Mk. 2:17). Self-absorption and excessive self-preoccupation are the sinful pitfalls for the ‘righteous’. Perhaps it is an inherited lack of self-esteem that causes some people to have a propensity for judging and identifying the sins of others at the expense of their own.
“For God judged it better to bring good out of evil than not to permit any evil to exist”.- St. Augustine
Matt B and Audrey, I’ll pray for you. I have my own compulsive, hard-to-break habits, so I feel for you. The commenters seem to have some great advice, and I’ll add something that I have heard from several people. Don’t even try to think about breaking your habit for good, or forever. Just try each moment, each day to do a little better. If all you have to worry about is the meal you’re eating now, or the hour you’re living in now, then it’s not so hard as thinking that for the rest of your life, you have to manage this struggle.
Great post, Simcha. I just re-read Screwtape and you reminded me of what Lewis called the gluttony of delicacy…so it’s possible to be a glutton even if you eat very small quantities if your life is dominated by food obsession.
Great post as always, Simcha, and I’m so glad to hear that you’ve got a book on NFP in the works! To be honest, it’s comments like your editor’s that I find bothersome, and yes, potentially mean and merciless. Talking about sin is helpful, because grace abounds all the more: i.e. that those behaviors that damage souls and hurt us and others can be COMBATED—whether it be our own sins or other people’s. I think Jennifer Fulwiler also said something in one of her conversion story mp3s that she once thought that being sarcastic was just her “personality.” Talking about sin is far more constructive than talking about “character flaws,” or that somebody’s abusive parents or screwy brain chemistry made this person “the way they are,” and that’s that; as one person once told me, because of many, many hangups I had, I was “fatally flawed” (and a whole lot else, besides; drummed into me on a regular basis. I was impressionable at the time, and it took me a lot of regular prayer and Confession upon coming back to the Church to forgive myself and forgive this person). The thing is somebody can indeed snap if they think they have no way out, whereas sin, grace, and Confession do offer a way out, and it changes people when they are persistent. Confession is part of worship and even a form of prayer and devotion, and one is to pray rightly and persistently. It’s also especially helpful to talk about sin in a culture that mistakes being nice for being good, wherein people who are nice often think that they have being good in the bag (whereas the differences between “nice” and “good” are stark and obvious to people who have to work at it. I think there was an article to this effect at Integrated Catholic Life written by Randy Hain, I think).
Wanna get skinny fast and take a bite out of gluttony (though this is not one of my primary sins—I have plenty of others to work on)? Our fridge broke 4 months and we don’t have the $$ to fix it or get a new one right now (bet you can relate, Simcha) so there it sits in the kitchen, empty.
We put all the food in an old clunker fridge in the basement left by the previous home owners 3 1/2 years ago and one has to traipse down 2 levels to the yucky old, spider-filled basement to get food.
It works!
Mark Shea – You say I assume in bad faith…..
Is N C R a Catholic reporting service? If so, my point is that writers need to be exceedingly careful to share their ‘views’ only with Catholic concepts and principles. If they are contrary to Catholicism, than they need to be dealt with for the sake of souls. A writer can lead others to choose a lifestyle that will destroy souls. A case in point (see reference below) of the risqué life styles lived in Catholic universities and colleges. Did these students perceive such liberty to hook up at Catholic schools because writers in ‘Catholic’ settings give the appearance of the acceptance of “sex” before marriage? What is a Catholic suppose to do, Mark Shea, when a ‘Catholic’ gives not a subtle appearance in their writings of opposing divine law?
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2109411/Former-Catholic-college-student-sues-school-sex-crazed-room-mate.html
Mark Shea you might want to consider this in your response: most Catholic schools have abolished requirements for students to take theology courses. So I ask, if not at Catholic schools and if not from Catholic news’ writers, where will the Faith be taught and shared?
I was wondering if a preoccupation with sex is something truly Catholic? It seems as if this is a protestant phenomenon. Prurience is after all a childish affair.
Again, while righteousness demands a vigorous and active response to injustice, at what point does it become rote? Hypervigilance is not a Catholic thing. Catholics are more like eagles than beavers.
The reason I’m asking this, Joe, is that at a certain point you as a Catholic (if you’re truly adhering to His commands) need to “shake the dust from your feet.” Even St. Paul says, “be angry, but don’t let it lead you into sin.” Jeremiah records God saying “Let him who is going to the sword, go to the sword; let him who is going to perdition, go to perdition…” Are we near this point?
On a secular note, the obsessive Ahab goes down lashed to the great white whale. That role was perfect for Gregory Peck, don’t you agree?
Hey Joe, aren’t they keeping you busy in the seminary enough?
^*Busy enough
Gee, Simcha, you didn’t mention baptism first in that list of “sex, marriage, and NFP,” so I feel I should ask you: do you not believe in sacramental marriage? I mean, baptism obviously must come before receiving any other sacrament, so *why* didn’t you list that first? Also Confession and First Holy Communion and Confirmation since one should receive all sacraments of initiation (and Confession before Communion) before a sacrament of service. Also you should have listed “puberty” before “marriage” so that people won’t think Catholics are in favor of children marrying.
On an unrelated note, a friend just asked me to give some editing advice for a book he’s working on and I blithely said yes and then I read this and now I’m not at all sure I’m up to the task.
Good article - will look for the book.
I could sit and eat a bag of Twix bars in one sitting.
I have a friend who is sick so decided - why not give up chocolate as a fast for her? This seems to be a great thing because I need the fast for myself as well. I notice a tiny overflow of the benefits of this fast into other areas of my life where I might be overindulgent. This is a baby step maybe but it seems a fruitful one.
Editing: I am in awe of people who actually love grammar!
Thank you to everyone who prayed after I mentioned my son. He skipped into school the next day. The difference was palpable.
Joe, this is not to say that you’re completely psychotic. There may still be a shred of rationality in that harped and melancholic mind of yours. Try this:
Every time you feel tempted to lapse into mental desuetude, remember that one positive act is worth more than 10 negative comments.
Imagine there’s a teacher or catechist in your family who has worked for 50 years to inculcate Christ into the lives of young people and adults, and he or she is within earshot of your comments. (Imagine it’s your MOTHER!!)
Remember that even dogs need stroking. (Cats are OK to leave at arms length.)
Most of all remember the sovereign humor of divine creatures. You may be forgiven for your mistakes, but you will definitely not be forgiven if you forget to laugh at the boss’s jokes. THE TOLEDO OFFICE FOR HIM!!
Don’t despair, big guy. It’s even later than you think!
Regarding gluttony, I may be able to point the way to some true help, help that you may not have heard before. It comes straight from the ancient Desert Fathers, and it is posted online at osb.org (OSB = Order of St. Benedict).
http://www.osb.org/lectio/cassian/conf/book1/conf5.html#5.0
This is the direct link to the section regarding gluttony and all the other 7 Deadly Sins as taught by the early Church Fathers. Cassian’s Conferences, conference #5. Around 350 AD, a monk named John Cassian got permission from his Abbot to travel to the Egyptian desert to learn from the early Church Fathers. He lived with these hermits for a total of 14 years, and wrote down what they taught him. He then returned to his monastery and the teachings, called Cassian’s Conferences, were distributed far and wide to all of the monasteries.
What I have learned about gluttony is that it is fought by means of fasting. Fasting means eating breakfast and dinner in portions that are “just enough” and then a regular dinner but it should be a smaller portion than you usually eat for dinner. The point of fasting is to build the discipline within ourselves to ignore the “impulsive influences” that cause us to eat when we are not hungry and when we were not planning to eat. Fasting is about deciding before the fast begins exactly what you will eat, how much of it you will eat, and what time you will eat it. Then you stick to it.
At the start of each fast, I make a solemn VOW to God that I am fasting to show him my true love for him. Making it a solemn Vow to God provides for me the discipline I need. I am a weak person, but I will keep a Vow I make to God. When I feel hungry but it is not time to eat, I pray “I hunger for YOU God, I thirst for YOU.”
After practicing fasting for just a little bit (first a couple of one day fasts, then a 7 day fast, then a 40 day fast), I found that my attitude toward food substantially changed. By the way, when I fail in my fasting by eating when I shouldn’t, I tack on an extra 3 days to the length of my fast as repentance (3 days in honor of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit). Having to adding an extra 3 days to the fast is a great deterent for me not to give in to impulses.
Set yourself up to suceed by eating reasonable and responsibly, don’t set such a tight standard that you starve to the extent that you fail. My fasts consist of: breakfast is half-piece of peanut butter toast with one cup of coffee and a half-cup of orange juice. Lunch is one burger patty with mustard (no buns)and a half-cup of yogurt. Dinner is a regular dinner that changes each night, but I take about 25% less portion than I regularly eat at dinner. The point is to be slightly hungry, but not starving. To starve yourself is to be too distracted and uncomfortable to keep your focus on prayer.
I found true help here, and great insight into my weaknesses that I had never read about in any other place. I hope this is helpful you those of you struggling to overcome your sins.
If you would like to read the full Cassian’s Conference, here is the link to the entire volume: http://www.osb.org/lectio/cassian/conf/index.html
Excellent post CatholicsByChoice…I believe that was one of Suzanne Fowler’s resources when putting together The Light Weigh. Although, she does make it clear that any food (unless you cannot eat a portion, like me with pizza because I want 3 pieces of the half sheet, not 1 1/2) is permissable. Pick up your sacrifice beads, and with each little sacrifice (i.e., portion control, choosing not to eat a snack between meals, etc.) offer up for someone in need…(like my special needs teen who just walked in the room and said she was fainting, and fell to the floor…here I am 20 minutes later).
I have never commented before but love your articles, Simcha. I just wanted to say, since I haven’t seen it said yet, that I would encourage those with eating/gluttony issues to explore talk therapy, whether with a therapist, psychologist, or psychiatrist. For those that find self help books not helpful, it might be helpful to have someone to talk to that can help identify the whys and suggest things to do. In recently looking for a therapist, I discovered there is a Catholictherapists site, easily googleable, where you can search by location, and they answer questions about their faith. There wasn’t anyone near me, so I did a search on psychologytoday, which apparently lists people too, and you can search by specialty (ie I did Chronic Illness and Spirituality). I found a nun CSW! Haven’t seen her yet, but am hopeful. Anyway, thought I would share since it hadn’t been mentioned yet.
Don’t you think that at the root of addictive behavior there is a misplaced fervor for God Himself? Yet the addiction or obsession is a subtle replacement. It is a small lack of hope in the One who has gifted us with such rewards on our earthly sojourn. This is the secret of the saints’ fervor; the *source* of these gifts became their “addiction”—He didn’t fail, and “wounded” them with an insatiable thirst for Him.
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At the end of the day, sex or food, just for their own sakes are idols, that leave a bitter and lonely emptiness.
I love this!
I have some very close friends who are prisoners of their own (over weight) bodies. One of the connections to their obesity is that they were sexually abused.
“….In the late 1980’s, Dr. Vincent Felitti, head of Preventive Medicine at Kaiser Permanente, conducted research on the link between obesity and sexual abuse. In reviewing records of 286 obese patients, he found that half had been molested as children…”
http://www.jonbarron.org/article/abuse-leads-obesity
Three years ago I attended a sex-education lecture by a Planned Parenthood representative to fifth graders. The students gave many indications of their extreme discomfort of her explicitly detailed language and pictures of the reproductive system. Students were exposed in a very unhealthy manner how nature changes their bodies. Boys got to see and hear about the female changes and the girls got to see and hear about the male changes in the same setting. Should we be surprised of this abuse in government schools that have ousted Christ and prayers out of the classrooms?
May I never get over the horror that detailed, explicit language and pictures are foistered upon youth in the U S bishops’ schools who likewise molest minds at a very young age in sexualied catechetic series. If a book on the obesity epidemic does not give the root cause of sexualizing youth in parochial classrooms, a child sex- predator’s dream, than the book will do a great disservice to all society. Google “obesity and sexual abuse” and see all the information in regards to obesity’s connection to sexual abuse.
Furthermore, Cardinal Newman Society claims there are 20 Catholic colleges and universities in the U S. It was a recent discovery to me that these colleges have co-ed dorms and the practices of ‘hook up’ are commonly done. Naturally these students are practicing forms of birth controlling to prevent that dreaded baby. Archbishop Hayes boldly stated in 1921 that, “…….To take life after its inception is a horrible crime; but to prevent human life that the Creator is about to bring into being, is satanic….” http://www.cfnews.org/Hayes-Christmas.htm. Time Drake of the N C R reported in 2010 that students who attend Catholic colleges and universities graduate with less faith than when they entered. Why isn’t the Church cleaning up its own act?
Why are the people of God silent on these issues and still financially supporting they who are deliberately ruining our youth’s minds? Connect the dots to obesity and connect the dots to those who are targeted as easy to be controlled. The sexual causes of obesity need to be confronted and uncontrolled sexual habits have a lot in common, can any dare deny?
You bet this topic is a major discomfort! Better to be discomforted now that in the next life for all eternity.
Joe…many good points, however, I’m lost with your Cardinal Newman Society claim there are 20 Catholic colleges and universities in the U S?
Basically, from what I’ve seen, there are quasi-Catholic Colleges (in name only) and authentic Catholic Colleges with students and teachers faithful to the magisterium…to name a few, The College of St. Mary Magdalen (New Hampshire), Wyoming Catholic College (obviously, Wyoming), Thomas Aquinas College (California), Christendom College (Virginia), Ave Maria College (Florida). Quite clean and should be attended by many more Catholics looking for an authentically Catholic College with separate dorms. These students are coming out much more profoundly Catholic than the quasi-catholic universities.
How ironic that, the day before someone actually shot up an elementary school, you chose “shooting up an elementary school” as an example of perhaps the most evil thing someone could do. I just can’t get that tragedy out of my head.
Ugh, you’re right, I didn’t even notice that. So horrible.
Cheeriosinmypocket – The Cardinal Newman Society needs to hear from you if you differ from their analysis. I would like to know how you’ve come to the conclusion of the schools you posted.
Ave Maria University is one of them I personally paid for some of the bricks to build. I should get a refund from Ave Maria University considering that their Ecclesial Advisor has twice bestowed a Pontifical decoration upon pro-abort politicians. This special award, is of the Order of St. Gregory and is the fourth highest award for merits regarding the Roman-Catholic Church instituted by pope Gregory XVI. in 1831 and it is intended for gentlemen of proven loyalty to the Holy See who are deemed worthy to be honored by a public expression of esteem on the part of the Holy See.
http://en.kreuz.net/bookentry.2912.html
http://catholiccitizens.org/press/pressview.asp?c=47112
Von Schönborn is also known for his balloon masses and calls the Buddhist, Dalai Lama, Holiness
\Card_ Schönborn Invites the Dalai Lama to Pentecost Mass by Marian Horvat.htm
This is the Newman Society survey in 2008:
46% of current and recent students said they had engaged in sex outside of marriage.
84% said they had friends who engaged in premarital sex.
60% agreed strongly or somewhat that abortion should be legal.
One out of five students knows someone who has had an abortion or who helped pay for one.
60% agreed strongly or somewhat that premarital sex is not a sin.
78% disagreed strongly or somewhat that using a condom to prevent pregnancy was a serious sin.
57% agreed strongly or somewhat that same-sex “marriage” should be legal. 39% of students said they had experienced university officials or staff encouraging contraceptive use;
31% said they had experienced officials or staff encouraging the acceptance of homosexual activity.
The survey’s findings also showed that the experience of attending a Catholic institution of higher education did not appear to increase Catholic faith and practice for most students.
http://www.ncregister.com/site/article/16432
Furthermore, the Cardinal Newman Society does not object to sex education in the U S bishops’ schools formerly and Supremely condemned. C N S is window dressing.
Joe, I have to come back to you. You are a font of statistical information, but your analysis has to be just a starting point. I believe you need to get beyond “what is,” and start to turn your attention to “what should be.” Scripture says that “the people perish for want of vision.” Can we turn our eyes away from the car wreck, and look towards where we want to go? Because, personally, the picture you paint is a dismal one.
Matt B According to the Council of Trent, “The integrity of those who govern is the safety of the governed.” The ‘springtime of hope and change’ in the church is a disaster. You say ignore the FACTS!? It is only by men of valor facing reality will the needed initiative to combat the destruction of Catholicism begin. I know the wide road is so very much more comfortable and the “plague of sexualizing’ students in ‘Catholic’ schools is much to difficult to tangle with, so they say.
Let’s focus upon fluffy issues and cutzie distractions and avoid root causes of why the exodus out of the church and what led to the miserably stark in-your-face/glaringly depressive statistics no one wants to deal with. What’s it going to take, Matt B., to stir you to defend our youth?
See the chart** of the destruction and weep, Matt B. I saw the church I received the Sacraments in destroyed and many others. No Catholic is unaffected by the “Desire to Destroy”; have you read the book?
**http://www7.georgetown.edu/centers/cara/CARAServices/requestedchurchstats.html
The education of youth is a root cause of how Catholicism is diminishing fast and furious. St. Augustine said, “that there is nothing more difficult, nothing more dangerous, than the office of priest.” St. Bridget said, “At the sight of the bad example, .. the sinner assumes confidence in sinning, and begins to boast of sins which he before regarded as shameful.”
Living according to the doctrines of Holy Mother the Church is a difficult life. Prayer first——- and prayer will lead to action. One will not be left in the closet only to pray if they sincerely love Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, and the Church He instituted with His Blood to instruct us and guide us on this journey.
Thank you, Joe, and amen.
All hell *has* broken out. We all are or have the walking wounded in our families. Is the remedy to turn the clock back 75 years to when Christendom was pure? Joe, in other posts you have said that Benedict the 16th is not our Holy Father, and nor was John Paul the 2nd. What you fail to understand is that you too rip mercilessly at the Body of Christ. When the devil fails to get us to sin through a lax attitude to sin, he tempts to an unholy puritanism. Jesus didn’t call Mary Magdalene a “whitened Sepulcher” or “brood of vipers”. He loathed the behavior of the strident Pharisees.
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It is not a sin or a blasphemy to pray the Mass in the vernacular.
It is not a sin for a woman to not wear a veil in mass.
It is not a sin for women to wear slacks
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Food for thought: The rebellion of the 60s and 70s (and now)was and is a terrible problem, but it would have happened with or without Vatican 2. If anything Vatican 2 came in the “nick of time”. It was a remedy for the hell that had broken loose, even if it was loosely quoted falsely as a vehicle to perpetuate the chaos.
(sorry screaming 3 y.o. as I try to write)
anna lisa, it was difficult to answer you because you are all over the place. I suspect you agree that there are major differences between the pre-Vat. 2 church and the post-Vat 2 church. Let me ask you: Do you believe Truth is to be formulated on the collective wisdom of the people?
Do the people of God preempt the infallible Magisterium on matters of faith and morals making Truth binding by their own experiences and reflections?
Be specific on why and also where is your source(s) for your answer?
@anna from many comments ago - that was really funny. Especially the part about puberty.
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@joe - I think you would do well to start your own blog and use that as your platform for in-depth analysis of various shortcomings of people and institutions. Picking fights in comboxes isn’t broad enough for the arguments you seem to want to fully flesh out. Let those ponies run!
C’mon Josh! What-a cop out!
Thanks Cardinal Newman Society for informing us:
Gonzaga To Begin Offering Contraceptive Coverage Next Month:
In a Nov. 20th memo obtained by The Cardinal Newman Society, Gonzaga University President Thayne McCulloh has announced to faculty and staff that in response to the HHS mandate it will begin covering contraceptives starting next month….”
Gonzaga will not graduate saints. Obviously living according to Catholic principles is too difficult. The staff members mock the martyrs. So what’s the bishop doing about it? Oh- silence - the common response. Where or where have the men of valor gone?
@Joe, yes, I’m all over the place because I have a million demands upon me every day. I do belong to the One, Holy, Catholic and Apostolic Church, and believe there is an unbroken line from Peter 1 to Benedict the 16th. You sir/ma’am do not, which makes you another protestant in a long line of “protest-ers”. I think you should should come down off of your show pony and join the brethren you’ve separated yourself from.
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Blah blah blah, evil, rot, corruption, stink, abortion, fornication, sexual deviancy, sin, sin, sin, sin, sin.
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Blessed wholeness, joy, unity, good works, life giving love, Holy matrimony,transcendent sex, grace, grace, grace.—I prefer the camp I’ve chosen, I hope you don’t stay in Stinksville.
anna lisa= you posted on Monday, Dec 17, 2012 4:12 PM (EDT):@Joe, .. I do belong to the One, Holy, Catholic and Apostolic Church, and believe there is an unbroken line from Peter 1 to Benedict the 16th.”
Please consider the following facts, anna lisa = The Catholic Church has always taught that She alone is the true Church of Christ. Jesus founded only one Church and all other churches are founded by men and represent a separation from Jesus Christ and His Church. See Vatican II document, Lumen Gentium, para 8 which states the Church of Christ ‘subsists in’ the Catholic Church meaning that the Catholic Church is PART OF the church Christ founded, which also includes other churches. That is a direct disconnect from Catholic doctrine.
Jesus Christ being God could not do anything imperfectly and His Church is the Immaculate Bride of Christ without stain or error; (yes, there are those within who are imperfect and fallible). The Vat 2 document Decree on Ecumenism para 6 states that the Church needs continual reformation and that there are even deficiencies in the formulation of doctrine! Para 3 states false religions are means of salvation. Once again, no connections to Catholic doctrine.
The differences in the 16 Documents of the Vatican II Council, anna lisa, and the infallible Magisterial Teachings Roman Catholic Church are discoverable.
Joe, that was a long winded way of saying that the Church floundered before Vatican 2, in 19—??, and that you and your small band of upholders of the Truth, are the only real deal. Just think, you’ll have heaven all to yourselves! Last thing I heard, there was a rag tag group of high-octane Trads that follow some dude (in Montana?) as their spiritual leader…??! Good luck with whatever it is Joe. In my book that just makes you another Protestant, with extra bells and smells.
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Just curious—do you think our lovely JP2 is rotting in Hell? Or maybe just getting his tongue burned with burning hot pincers for billions of years in purgatory?
anna lisa, You say Christ founded a Church that floundered before Vatican 2? !!!!???
I’m saying that the Catholic Church stood on 2000 years of Sacred Tradition because it was not humanly instituted. These doctrines were targeted for extinction proven by the many changes contrary to them in Vatican II.
Okay, I’ll play your little game. Who was the last legit, pope for you and your little band, Joe?
anna lisa, I’ve given you enough information that you need to check out for yourself. Let’s stick with ‘issues’ not personalities.
At least you’re ashamed to say it. That’s an improvement! :) Maybe you’ll come around and join the rest of the family instead of sulking in your room.
Audrey & Matt B
Please consider a good twelve step group such as Overeaters Anonymous. No dues or feea, no “diet” or weigh ins, just a good way to apply your faith to the addictio with food in the same spirit that AA does for the alcoholic. Get a good sponsor and work the steps. WARNING: If working the steps is not central to your sponsor’s method, get another sponsor!!! If at all possible, get a Catholic sponsor, or at least a solid Christian Sponsor, and shun the New Age Gurus.
I’m five years abstinent and the twelve steps brought me closer to God And the Church.
George
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