Abigail van Buren got a letter reading:
Dear Abby:
There’s this woman in my life I just can’t stand. I first met her a couple of years ago. A lot of people seemed to like her, but not me. I know she’s evil. For one thing, she’s got a baby that everybody says is hers, but I’m sure it isn’t. I don’t have any evidence to prove that, but my gut tells me I’m right, so I’m going to keep searching until I prove everybody wrong. (Oh, and by the way, me and my friends have had some real laughs at that retard baby of hers but nobody seems to be able to take a joke!) Same goes for when I laugh at her other disgusting children. What’s the problem? People are so sensitive!
So here’s my problem: I’ve been following her around wherever she goes and (get this) she doesn’t even want to talk to me!
Look. I know my rights. I feel as though I have a calling. A calling to be ... near her. I can’t stop thinking about her. I want to tell people about how awful she is. All the time. Everything she does. It’s like that Sting song: Every move she makes, every breath she takes. I’ll be watching her. I want to talk to everyone I see and tell them how awful her kids are and how tacky her stupid glasses are, and how sickening it is that she can have so many kids and still keep that figure of hers. Some of my friends say that I’m actually in denial about being attracted to her since she is quite easy on the eye. And, I don’t know. Maybe there something to that ...
But NO! That’s not it. It’s that I have a sacred trust! If I don’t root through her emails, who will? But she won’t even talk to me, Abby. Once, I moved into the house next door to her to keep an eye on her and and her children in case they, you know, sunbathed or something. The public has a right to know! Anyway, she totally treated me like garbage and wouldn’t talk to me. In fact, she never tells me where she’s going or what she’s doing. She makes me follow her around like I’m her dog or something. Do you know how that makes me feel? Sometimes, when I try to get, you know, close to her, I find that she’s ducked out and gone off on her own without even telling me where she’s going! I have to get in my car and chase her and even then it’s like I don’t exist. She is endangering me by not letting me control her movements. I need to be able to ... to have her! All the time. She needs to be mine and I need to be near her and hurt her. All the time. Hurt. Her.
I think she’s dangerous, Abby. She’s gotten into my head. She’s doing this to me. I think people need to be warned and she needs to be stopped. I’m certain she’s sending inaudible messages into the brains of criminals, urging them to do something horrible. I think the universe may be calling me to stop her by any means necessary! How can I get close to her, Abby? Why won’t she talk to me? What’s wrong with her?
Is this letter from
A) a deranged stalker who needs a restraining order; or
B) the collective gestalt of our trivial media and manufacturers of culture whenever Sarah Palin moves or breathes or clears her throat?
Should Abby
A) read this letter as the work of a responsible journalist entrusted with the public’s need for valuable civic information, or
B) alert the police and suggest this person be taken into custody and examined for a serious and dangerous psychological disorder?



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I’m hoping that this is just a parody of the media’s obsession with Palin and not written by someone who actually means what they write. It’s crazy enough to be read either way.
Chilling…....and a little too close to the truth about our society.
I read a column in our paper the other day by an otherwise normal-seeming political columnist who—at the same time he decried the media circus around Palin—said that she had an irrational hatred of the media! Hatred? Perhaps. But irrational??? After the never-ending media attacks on her, she doesn’t like the media. Gee, YA THINK? I would never vote for her for president, I don’t think she has enough experience. But she does not deserve the crap she has gotten because she is the “wrong sort of woman” for the media to support.
Grimly amusing send-up referring to Andrew Sullivan. He and the whole Sarah-hater crowd are both disturbing and pathetic.
This contrived article is a reach too far in a bid to attract readers and engage discussion.
I don’t see its relevance.
Hadn’t noticed that Mr. Shea was wanting for readers or discussion.
Your parody is of course more broadly true. If the American public were collectively a single person—Uncle Sam—I’m afraid Sam would be totally bonkers.
“This contrived article is a reach too far in a bid to attract readers and engage discussion.
I don’t see its relevance.”
Actually, I think the sad part is that it is not contrived. It merely, in a humorous fashion, notes the pathology of the Media in regards to Palin.
Not seeing the relevance unfortunately is either a contrived argument or a comment on your need to reply to something you see no relevance in.
A then B…is that right? The media will keep going until they destroy her if they can…this is their busy season they have all the potential candidates to discredit except the one these folks have been paid to support…you remember obama? EVERYONE who voted for obama is an idiot!
bwahahahahaha Sooo true.
Soo true! This queerdo who moved into the house right next to her just for the purpose of spying on her & her family is worse than a sociopath! A danger.
Hahahahaha! I finally understand their obsession! They’re hopelessly in love!!!!
When a narcissist acquires stalkers, everybody loses.
I have long noted that famous women become the objects of media assault. It screams in the checkout aisle of every supermarket. With Sarah Palin it has gone even further, of course. But look at how any well known woman is dragged through the mud, weight and dress put under the microscope, family privacy and dignity trampled. May God never curse me with fame in this world.
B across the board
How sad that your alleged “parody” is all too true. If you’re a pro life, God-fearing woman in the U.S., you challenge a secular society that respects neither life nor God. What is especially galling is that the liberals who talk about compassion thinks it’s OK to go after family members and innocent children along with the mother. Sara Palin chose life for her Down syndrome baby, and instead of being admired for her courage and embrace of life, is villified, slandered and hated for it.
The only good thing to come out of this horrible persecution is that the media displayed its fangs and claws for all to see. Since the last presidential election, it doesn’t even pretend to be balanced in its coverage. Bill Maher is no longer an extreme example of nastiness and cynicism but a portrait of the maintstream media.
Joanne:
Yes. The fixation on her gender, looks, fecundity, and (most especially) her children and (*most* especially) on her disabled child really is quite creepy, isn’t it.
I’m not a person who thinks Palin, a quitter and a narcissist, should be allowed anywhere near the White House. But what amazes me is how the media’s treatment of her is so transparently not about that. It’s about her looks and fertility and is filled with a visceral fascination and loathing of both. Sometimes the sheer hatred of her children wells up and there is a scramble to cover it up and try to appear sober again. But the stalker fascination with her drags the Press back. If they were wise, they’d all check into treatment. But wisdom is not the presenting characteristic of our media.
I didn’t think of Sarah Palin, I thought you were speaking of Holy Mother church vs. The Media or possibly even Catholic dissidents.
This does reflect some of the “journalists” who are around these days. It is too bad. The profession has been degraded enough just in the regular news, which almost always lack important details or information, and has lots of anecdotes and content-free quotes. However, in the case of Palin, whom I would not vote for in any case for anything, she has asked for some of this treatment. She is not a bad person, but apparently is not able to recognize her own serious limitations for the position of President of the United States. Unfortunately, she is not alone, and many voters share her disability.
Of course, she’s sought the publicity. But here’s the thing: lots of narcissists seek publicity. That doesn’t mean the press need to comply. They are (allegedly) grown-ups with the capacity to choose how to budget their time and resources. But instead they capitulate to their own idiotic obsessions. They don’t even have the rationale that the public cares about this junk as justification. It is their own stalkerish loathing and fascination with Palin that accounts for it. Sin makes them stupid.
I agree with you, Mark, about the worst of them, but there are also just a lot of lazy jerks who think they will get a high-dollar scoop. And when they get together, mob psychology (if one can legitimize it with such a noble term) takes over and they become rabid hyenas. Of course they are accountable for their actions and the trouble they cause, but you’d have a hard time convincing them of that.
“Sin makes them stupid.”
There’s the money quote. For years I couldn’t understand how people could look Jesus in the face and not SEE Him. Since He is the Truth and sinful people are trying to hide from Truth they resented the mirror into their souls exposing them to themselves.
This accounts for the hatred of the Church in particular and decent people in general.
You cannot understand the malice of the left without the spiritual component.
BTW, I’m not saying the left has a corner on the sin market. However, when you hold abortion and sodomy in high regard you do have alot more Truth to try to hide from.
It is a shame that “the left” and “liberal” have come to be associated with pro-abortion and pro-sodomy. I consider myself a liberal in the traditional sense of believing that society must take care of those who can’t care for themselves, in desiring a good education for all at the public expense, in standing for a well-reasoned interpretation of the Constitution, and I am strongly pro-life and pro-self-discipline. I believe abortion and sodomy will not be stopped by railing or legislating against them—although these are probably necessary as a step in the right direction, but by providing better alternatives for the conditions they seek to relieve, and helping people learn the truth about these issues. (Along with prayer!) It is more important than ever before not to categorize people by simple labels, please.
I appreciate the C.S. Lewis influence in the writing style of the Dear Abby letter. It’s tricky, like reading “Screwtape Letters.”
“Oh, and by the way, me and my friends have had some real laughs at that retard baby of hers”
How would you like to meet me, you bearded ape. You wouldn’t, because you’d run a mile.
Ken:
Please understand: I find the people who have attacked Trig as contemptible as you do. I am writing in their voice, not my own. Re-read the piece. You will not that that passage has a link to a story about Wonkette’s recent revolting attack on Trig (and attack followed by a grotesque attempt at self-justification when civilized people began to back away from Wonkette in horror and revulsion). It’s the loathing of Trig I’m attacking, not Trig.
I do beleive this letter is contrived by anti-republicans-not Cathlic, but find it deeply disturbing nontheless. J.M.J.
oh ken, had mark not just de-fused me, ooooooohhhhhhh.
If she runs she may get my support, depends on who else runs. Right now I’ll support Bachman. What the media did and is doing to Sara is demonic. It shows just how evil the media is.
LMAO That is one of the funniest pieces you’ve ever written. Kudos
My question: Why do the MSM hate her so much? Of what are they afraid?
They hate her because she is a)attractive, b) intelligent, c)conservative, and d)(most of all) because she puts a face on abortion and is totally pro-life. Satan certainly hates people like this, as do his minions.
Amen, brother!
For all those folks who said they would never vote for Sarah Palin, ever, Really? Even if she were to run against the current resident in the white house? Let them have ears to hear and eyes to see…
Yes. Really. Just because Obama is an incompetent, doesn’t mean Palin is qualified. “Doesn’t suck as much as the other leading brand” is not usually regarded as good advertising. I’d vote for a third party candidate if the two parties insist on serving up junk food candidates.
@Baba says;
It is more important than ever before not to categorize people by simple labels, please.
_
The time to pull back from that has long past, I’m afraid. Just ask Mark Shea. If he says something qualified or thoughtful or balanced in a Catholic way, instead of extreme…Wham! Slammed from both sides, called a commie and a Nazi for the same article.
I would consider myself a classical liberal, but that label has been long buried and in today’s climate I am a qualified conservative. Qualified because those who supposedly represent conservatism often don’t know what they are talking about, are libertarians masquerading as conservative, or are the left’s classic cliche, thinking only of corporate interests. True conservatism is actually a traditional rural and blue-collar way of thinking. Many of the Tea Party are real conservatives.
But you will have to admit, if you are of a liberal bent today, your only real choice is the Dems and at some point you have to allow your liberalism to over-power your pro-life convictions in order to stay there. That’s what happened to Pelosi, et. al. Politics and/or ideology before faith.
@ Mark Shea,
Trump keeps saying he will run as an independent if the GOP puts up a stiff. But then again, he likes Palin, so where’s his judgement?
Here’s my GOP prediction: Romney-Bachman 2012. (Not to be confused with Randy Bachman of Guess Who/BTO fame) Hey, they could use the BTO favorite, “Takin’ Care of Business” as a theme song.
What would the real Dear Abby say?
Mark,
I’m from Australia, was visiting a Monastery in the US. At the dinner table this retired Hollywood guy couldn’t stop saying how evil Palin was. I didn’t know who she was but knew enough that she didn’t warrant that kind of fixation. Something else was going on, something weird.
Disagreeing about public policy is a part of life and I think liberalism of course is based on a faulty anthropology - but could it be liberals are deeply psychologically disturbed - that they don’t even know a bete noir when they psychologically project one? And they’re the establishment!?
Great article and great comments by Mr. Shea. Completely agree. The media says much more about itself and its dysfunction, its pathology with its obsession with her and their support of the lowering of the civil discourse by contributing to all the personal attacks, on her children (really?) than they say about political thought, the needs and political expression of the populus, or the substance of the platforms. Though I don’t support her personally I think that it is absolutely true that there is a double standard in the way that female candidates get treated. If one is prolife, then one gets the stalking and obsessed bash and bullying treatment. If one is prochoice then one’s children get the pass and lots of support and extended goodies. The female prolife candidate’s children have to go out there and make a name for themselves despite attacks whereas when the others go out the world is handed to them on a platter even though both court press and celebrity.
One side justifies by complaining about the fox etc which probably wouldn’t exist in terms of market share in the first place had not the yellow bias been resisted way back when. So it comes down to a matter of deserving one another I guess.
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