You hit it on the nail!  Gratitude.  Thank you for your insights.  I really enjoy your writing.

Very true.  But there are also other reasons for not dressing up.  For instance people are just crazy busy.  Changing what you are wearing every time you leave the house takes time and parents are very stretched with running to and fro all day.  It also means more clothes to buy and more clothes to wash.  As far as the comment about how men would press a shirt to go into town:  actually a woman (wife or mother) would press it for him.  Women did all the ironing.  I am very grateful I have not ironed anything in the 15 years and I have been married with two kids.  I buy no-iron clothes when I can but other than that, I don’t stress if things are wrinkled.  I’ve got more important things to do like homeschool.

However, I agree with the premise that people should try to dress up more for situations that deserve respect, like for mass, or for your job, or a wedding, etc.  I actually enjoy dressing up so for mass I go all out.  But it just isn’t practical for everyday life for a stay at home mom who is lucky if she gets dinner, let alone find the time or energy to dress up for dinner.

Monica,
If anything, the lives of generations past were just as busy, or busier, than ours are now.  The difference is that due to our modern conveniences, we can get more done (Jen had a post on this once, called “Turning off the Lights” or something similiar), so we do—and we remain busy.  Busy-ness is, and always will be, a part of human life.

I think that we can go on and on about that era vs. this era, but the fact is that we can never go back to “the good ol’ days.”  Instead, I think its best to acknowledge and take what was good about those days—i.e., here, the attitude of thanksgiving for each day, and the desire to reflect that gratitude in one’s comport—and put them into modern form.  So, no, I’m not wearing a dress today.  But I am wearing clothes that I feel look clean, tidy and flattering, and that help me show the world that even though I have two little ones (under two at it), I still respect myself and the work that I do.

I enjoyed reading this article. The term “Sunday Best” almost seems foreign Hesse days. I grew up in a family where we all dressed up for mass on Sunday (and my Dad ironed his shirts and pants). It was an expectation, a show of respect and gratitude. I do believe our lives move so fast these days that we don’t TAKE THE TIME to be grateful or recognize the occasion as important. I agree it takes time to dress up and occasions to do so seem to be dwindling. However, I know many people that take the time to dress up for a party on New Years Eve or for a special night on the town, but wear shorts and t-shirts to mass. It prompts me to ask the questionS: Why is the occasion of mass less worthy of dressing up than a night on the town? Why is impressing others around us more important than respecting God in church?

“Why is the occasion of mass less worthy of dressing up than a night on the town? Why is impressing others around us more important than respecting God in church?”

It depends on one’s perspective, though.  I used to have this argument with my mom, and the way I looked at it, I didn’t dress up for Mass (at least, no more than I dressed up for the day, I was never slobby about it) because I wasn’t looking to impress anyone or show off—it was all about my spiritual side, not my physical side.

Laura, I agree that one should always be neat and clean but the subject here is about dressing up.  Is it really practical for a stay at home mom to dress up all day, or even harder to keep changing clothes every time she goes out?  Today I will be in and out of the house and in the public approximately 15 times.  Should one get dressed up and down 15 different times?  I don’t think so.  Occassions for getting dressed up will vary person to person but I think it’s safe to say that we should all try to wear our best for mass. And when I say our best, I mean our best that’s appropriate (an evening gown is my best but it’s not appropriate for mass).  But if we dress up for everything (like getting on a plane, going to the library, every time we eat out) then I think it really isn’t as special anymore to get dressed up for mass.  It’s no longer “dressing up” but our normal attire.  So the way I balance it is I dress casual weekdays and I dress up for mass and special events.

We had a dress code in school, public and Catholic, until the disgusting ‘60s, when self-respect and of course, respect for others, went out the window as sex, drugs, the Beatles came into the world full blast. As you dress, is how you will most likely act. God’s Holy Word, the Bible, tells us in the both the Old and New Testaments about dressing and Our Lady at Fatima, warned us about fashions that will be coming into the world that will offend man.  Hey MONICA: not all women did the ironing; my mother taught me how to iron when I was a teenager boy and I got stuck doing it as she was foolishly working to give us things that we didn’t need and taking away what we needed: an at home mother; for some reason, she didn’t teach my sister.  +JMJ+

I like what someone said on EWTN (I think it was Theresa Tomeo): looking clean, neat, and our best is charity to others. Slopping around in inappropriate outfits (men at church with tees that don’t cover their bulging stomachs, women with shorts & revealing cleavage, teens in beach wear) shows a disrespect of others. We need to think of others when we dress. That does not mean we need to dress as though we are going to appear on the cover of People magazine each time we leave the house, but dress to not blight the scenery.

And yes, gratitude is everything.  And we are no busier than previous generations: we just have more distractions and more things we think we must do (kids to three activities a week per child, for example) .

Unfortunately the Catholic Church reinforces this mindset with a “come as you are” invitation for Sunday Mass.  Most Protestant Churches expect more self-respect

Excellent point! I have often wondered the same thing at Mass.  We typically attend the Vigil Mass, which is far more casual than the Sunday morning Masses. Even then, I have seen some very questionable outfits, even for a non-worshipping activity at church.  There are the spaghetti strap tops and short-shorts, sometimes with a bottom hanging out.  I have also seen the various sports uniforms.  There are adults who are raising money for the carwash or some other activities.  Now, don’t get me wrong.  I am glad that everyone made the effort to come out.  It’s the part that no one raises an eyebrow, except for possibly me, that gets me.  When did we stop dressing up for church? I remember changing into church attire and then changing back into my uniform or more casual clothing afterward.  When did we become such a casual culture?

I am grateful my kids have the opportunity to do sports and I very much respect everyone involved in these activities.  I am neat and clean but do not dress up for taking them to sports or other activities.  And yes, people have always been busy, but not in the say way.  A mom in the olden days was working very hard but was not leaving the house and seeing people all the time. She probably didn’t even have a car.  So when she did go somewhere it was for an occassion and she dressed up.  I work hard too but the difference it my SAHM job means I am constantly in and out of the house and going to things I am grateful for, yes, and respect, yes, but if I had to dress up every time I wouldn’t be able to do these things I am so grateful for.  So let me clarify what I said, that moms today are crazy busy like they have always been but now they go from washing the toilet to   taking their kids so something all withing a few minutes of each other.  Honestly, if I dressed up for washing the bathroom or taking my kids to swim practice I would probably have OCD issues.

Dressing for the occasion does not mean more clothes and more washing.  If I wear my church dress for an hour long mass, I hang it up when I get home and it needn’t be washed until at least the 3rd or 4th wear.  Clothes last forever when treated like this.

I have 2 of dresses that I wear when I go to town and run errands.  These are changed immediately upon arriving home.  For clothing around the house, I have a couple of dresses and skirts and several blouses.  The blouses I have enough of to change every day if I have worked up a sweat cleaning house or something.  I also wear aprons almost all day.  These are a life saver for clothes.

Jenny:
“I also wear aprons almost all day.  These are a life saver for clothes.”
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Thanks Jenny, it’s good to hear I’m not the only one!Whenever I get home the first thing I do is kick off my shoes & put on my apron.What’s the sense in getting clothes needlessly dirty & wearing them out by overwashing? Folks used to have less clothing but better quality & they took care of it.

I LOVE THIS TOPIC! IN COLLEGE I ALWAYS DRESSED UP WITH SKIRTS AND DRESSES, THIS INFLUENCED MY FRIENDS TO DO THE SAME . AFTER COLLEGE I LET MYSELF GO AND BECAME SO CASUAL THAT I WAS EVEN FOLLOWED AROUND A STORE I WAS SHOPPING IN. DRESS DOES MATTER! NOW THAT I HAVE COME BACK TO THE FAITH AND GO TO DAILY MASS, I FIND MYSELF WEARING MY BEST CLOTHS AGAIN. I LOVE WEARING SKIRTS AND DRESSES. I STAY “DRESSED” UP ALL DAY, EVEN WHEN I TAKE MY PRESCHOOLER TO THE PARK.

Interesting piece.

Lately I have started to notice how men dress in restaurants. T-shirts have become the norm and what makes it all the more disconcerting is when their arms are covered with tattoos.

Tanks tops and other cleavage-enhancing shirts on girls and women in church also drives me crazy. It’s just so inappropriate.

“I don’t think that the social principle that you should dress up for what’s important to you has changed since the 1950s”..........The thing that has changed is what’s important. Going to mass is not that important and now more about just a social gathering for many. It’s something you fit in to your “busy schedule”. It is not important that we are going to mass to be in the actual presence of God and to actually receive the body and blood of Jesus Christ. The “all are welcome, come as you are” attitude is the Church trying to compete with the Protestants in my opinion. Some Priests also need to show more reverence for the consecration and distributing the body and blood of Christ. Then maybe more people will actually think that going to mass is “important”. Going to mass is important to me and I dress to show my respect to God, not anyone else….because HE is important.

It is very painful to see people come to mass looking like they are going to the beach. Yes, there are times when you may not have time to dress up, but for over 90% of the congregation?

I think the real issue is not just “dressing up,” which to me means church outfits.  The real issue is getting out of the yoga pants and torn/faded jeans and into something just a little bit nicer.  I’m not saying that everyone who comments on this article does this.  This is just something I’ve noticed at my little boy’s school.  Most of the mothers, except those with jobs outside of the home, look like they are perpetually working out or hanging out on the beach.  People have even asked me where I work because I always look so dressed up. Really, I’m usually wearing a gored denim skirt and floral shirt when I drop my little boy off and pick him up or volunteer.  This outfit is paired with maryjanes and pearl earrings. Is this considered dressing up?  This outfit, although not as nice as my town dresses, is perfectly acceptable for being in public.  That is a relief, because often I’ll see my neighbors out in their yards or have to run get something at the store. 

As for switching between housework and going out and about, I learned that a large terrycloth apron is perfect for cleaning bathrooms and protecting clothing.

I’m not picking on any of you who dress differently; I’m only offering my story to inspire those who might be interested in dressing a bit nicer but think they can’t because they are never in one place long enough and can’t be bothered to change clothes all day.

Just start out the day in something nice—even if it’s jeans and a nice top, and if you must clean the toilet before heading out, put on the apron.  There is a reason our fore mothers wore them.

There’s an episode of I Love Lucy (I think the one where Lucy gets the loving cup stuck on her head) where Lucy is trying to convince Ethel to go somewhere NOW and Ethel insists on changing her clothes first, stating “Lucy, I have never ridden the subway in my blue jeans and I don’t intend to start now!”

I don’t know how much that contributes to the conversation, I just can’t resist quoting that line whenever it’s relevant.

Years ago, most clothing was manufactured in the United States.  The average family spent far more on clothing in the 50s than they do today (I read 1700 per year per family in 2010), however, they had fewer clothes per person.  Moreover, the difference between how one dressed indicated their class - i.e. a working class man dressed very differently from a banker.  An upper middle class mother would obviously dress differently than her household help.  With the expansion of manufacturing overseas, and opening up trade with China and Indonesia, we have cheaper clothes, faster fashions and a blurried class distinctions.  A retired banker and retired cop can both look indistinguishable in khaki pants and a polo shirt.  I don’t think we will ever go back to the “old days” where one had one wool suit for the winter and a linen one for the summer, and the girls wore smocked dresses and the boys wore short pants.  For better or worse, our clothing choices are as open and vast as the market demands.

I try to look nice, but God is also my father; I don’t dress to the nines to see my parents.
If you find yourself paying this much attention to the “scenery,” perhaps you should find a missalette to absorb yourself in…

Gratitude is huge… We have learned to take everything for granted and at the same time, I don’t see Jennifer (or Msgr. Pope) for that matter advocating for dreessing to the nines… More like not dressing like you rolled out of bed and grabbed the first thing off of the floor. I am a SAHM of a 5, 3 and one in utero, just as busy as the next mom, and it takes me as much time to throw on a jersey knit dress and eyeliner as it would for me to throw on a tank and yoga pants. The difference in perception (and how I feel about myself) is HUGE, however. But it’s not just the ladies, hubs was lamenting about the recent college grads he interviewed at work, coming to the interview in jeans, a polo and a ball cap… And he’s in insurance! We’ve taken casual almost a bit too far, IMHO.

Wow, there are 2 “Kathleen”‘s posting now.I’ll have to add something to my username to differentiate.Go figure- on a Catholic site, using a generic Irish name there’d be more than one of us….
:)

Jennifer, I don’t have one wool suit and one linen for different seasons, but I do have 4 different church outfits: one for winter, one for spring, one for summer, and one for fall.  I’ve worn them for years and it doesn’t bother me at all to be seen in the same dress every Sunday.  Sunday best is Sunday best, not Sunday bests!!

Very interesting stats in the amount of money spent on clothing.  I always buy my little one a new set of clothes and shoes for church each year.  I do have to plan for this and hold back a little bit of my clothing budget each month to have enough to do this each.  To me it is fun!

Jennifer ,
Another difference between the 1950’s & now was that more items of clothing were sewn at home.Virtually all dept. stores had fabric & patterns for sale.I can’t even find these now in our local WalMarts.
When my children were small I made some of their clothing & it did save money, especially by using the scraps to make baby clothes & borrowing paterns from friends.The clothes also lasted forever.I passed down dresses through 4 girls.

I tend to be a casual dresser.  I don’t go around in sweats, but I do a lot of t-shirts and jeans, or t-shirts and capris.  In the summer when I’m running around with my son, I get hot and sweaty and it just doesn’t seem to match with dressy clothes.  Conversely, in the winter when the wind is whipping and my hair is all windblown, it just doesn’t seem to match with dressy clothes.  There are some people who look calm cool and collected even in extreme weather conditions, but I’m not one of them.  Also, my son and I do all kinds of messy crafts and projects, and I don’t want to worry about messing up nice clothes.  That being said, I always wear makeup and dress modestly, and certainly I dress up for special occasions.

There are lots of people who always dress up.  The banksters on wall street.  Obama.  The Congressmen and Senators.  Basically America’s criminal class.

Not frequently enough everyone rails against materialism - you have the latest gadgets, the fancy new cars, but have no time for children - your own or others.

Ostentation in an era of austerity?  We complain about chastity and obedience, but the third is poverty, yet in that case we should all dress like the rich - those who have been bailed out by us poor people having to pay taxes so their bad decisions wouldn’t interfere with their billions in bonuses.

Then there’s scripture like James 2:

My brothers, as believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ, don’t show favoritism. Suppose a man comes into your meeting wearing a gold ring and fine clothes, and a poor man in shabby clothes also comes in. If you show special attention to the man wearing fine clothes and say, “Here’s a good seat for you,” but say to the poor man, “You stand there” or “Sit on the floor by my feet,” have you not discriminated among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts?

Listen, my dear brothers: Has not God chosen those who are poor in the eyes of the world to be rich in faith and to inherit the kingdom he promised those who love him? But you have insulted the poor. Is it not the rich who are exploiting you? Are they not the ones who are dragging you into court? Are they not the ones who are slandering the noble name of him to whom you belong?

If you really keep the royal law found in Scripture, “Love your neighbor as yourself,”a you are doing right. But if you show favoritism, you sin and are convicted by the law as lawbreakers. For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it. For he who said, “Do not commit adultery,”b also said, “Do not murder.”c If you do not commit adultery but do commit murder, you have become a lawbreaker.

Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom, because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment!

The Monsignor and many would rather judge, or maybe admonish sinners instead of clothing the naked.  Maybe they should turn up the air conditioning and have a rack of suitcoats available and politely suggest putting one on instead of saying in an sneering, condescending tone, “Your Slob!...”.

Or our Lord, in Luke 16:19, “There was a rich man who was dressed in purple and fine linen and lived in luxury every day…”.

Posted by tz on Wednesday, Jun 27, 2012 10:36 AM (EST):There are lots of people who always dress up.  The banksters on wall street.  Obama.  The Congressmen and Senators.  Basically America’s criminal class.”
***************
Speaking on the subject of judging….
??

Har har.  He’s the first old man in the history of the world to lament the passing of the “Good Old Days”.  Yeah: the women of the 1950’s dressed up daily - they also held white supremacist and anti-Semitic attitudes casually, just repeating the things they were told.  Talk to any elderly person and you’ll still hear wince-inducing references to “colored” people and “the Japs” we defeated in WWII.

Patrick,
Do you actually see a connection between women’s dress & anti-semtitism or racism?

Kathleen, yes, it is a shame not to be able to find patterns and fabric quite so easily anymore.  I’m lucky to have both a Hobby Lobby and a Hancock’s in my town, but know of a good many who must travel over an hour just to find fabric and patterns.  Thank goodness for the internet.  Regarding fabric, I’ve taken old clothes with the fabric still in good condition and repurposed them into aprons, pillows, blankets, etc.

I really think it is about respect for other people. I am amazed at how bad people look (including myself!) on a day to day basis (and I am in my 30’s). I mean really—does anyone look good in lousy-goosy jersey pants and misshapen shirts? No! And least of all the elderly. Yes, my friends, when I go to mass on Sunday the people who are most appalling in dress are not the tween and teens in the spaghetti straps (not that this is appropriate) but the seniors in what have to be the most immodest and casual-to-the-point-of-trashy pants that I have ever seen. I know this is super harsh—but shouldn’t senior citizens know better, particularly since they lived in a time when things were a bit better? Couldn’t they set a better example for the rest of us?

@kathleen - oops, my mistake! I notice your post before mine and meant to add something to differentiate myself, but forgot. I read often and comment rarely, but I’ll try to remember there are several of us here!

Jenny ,
Thanks.Maybe someone has a blog article about sewing/saving money?There are great resources out there for families on a budget.I’ve found fabric at the Goodwill, too.

I must admit, I’ve been surprised to find that wearing a jersey dress makes me look like I’ve dressed up, but is actually easier than coordinating tops and bottoms. I decided to do this because I’m in the awkward postpartum stage and tired of things fitting poorly. Jersey dresses are comfortable and don’t draw extra attention to the baby weight. I wear bike shorts or spanx underneath so that I’m not worried about the view. It’s nice to go out and feel like I’d be okay with running into anybody, and not later regret that I looked like a hobo. I actually gave away all of my graphic t-shirts and similar items that I decided were never a good idea to wear in public. It’s easier to dress nicely when you haven’t left too many other choices.

As in most conversations of similar topics, there are extremes - there is a difference between being casually dressed and immodestly dressed.  But underlying the whole conversation is a failure to acknowledge that class, or the appearance of class had a whole lot to do with dresing up to go into town.  I can remember in the early 1950s riding into the city on a buss; my mother wearing a suit, gloves and a hat, and as she said, “putting on the dog”.  It was a whole lot less about her enjoying being dressed up, and a whole lot more about not being judged as “one of the”, too poor to “dress properly”.  One would have to be naive to the extreme to not be aware of the cattiness and the judgmental attitudes that are and have been connected with “fashion” and “dressing up”.  For men, is a pair of clean dockers and a polo shirt or a long sleeve button down sufficient?

Have been discussing this issue with friends lately due in part to the attire worn at Mass during summer months and the efforts to control it. I am 74 years old and my feeling is that it is not just dress but our entire way of life that has become nearly uncivilized.People also now wear outerwear that was made to be underwear and are proud of it. The lack of respect for anything or anyone and the me,me,me- I am important and do what I want syndrome. It shows in our dress, our speech and the way we treat others. No, it was not perfect when I was growing up, but it was a very good time and people loved, respected and worked together as a community. There was trust and a feeling of security even in hard times. We have lost something vitally important and most people do not even know it. Happy that I am at the end of life and not the beginning.

Only in western countries there was pride in flaunting flesh in skimpy dress. However this trend is spreading all over, even in undeveloped countries. They forget the most important factor that they are a scandal to many who watch and in whom lust is generated. At least our catholic women should be careful to be modest. Do they consider that God likes them to come to church in shorts the length of which does not cove the knees and tops that reveals most of their frontage ? I pray for such people that God may grant them discernment

@ Kathleen: “Do you actually see a connection between women’s dress & anti-semtitism or racism?”

Of course not, haha.  I was trying point out that manner of dress is really superficial and changes in fashion aren’t something worth lamenting.  Imagine someone in 1820 lamenting that “men aren’t wearing wigs anymore” and you’ll see the silliness of it.  Moreover, hand-wringing over such trivialities is, in my opinion, like “crying wolf”: one day there will be something really important to lament, and “the-usual-suspects-who-resent-the-passage-of-time” won’t be listened to because they’ve lamented *every* change.

I can’t believe people are able to find a way to disagree with you on this! of course we’re supposed to “come as you are” but if you are able to make an effort, then make one [when going to Mass]. we shouldn’t judge others and maybe just leave it to God to know whose heart is in the right place and who was too lazy to do anything special.
for example, I swear a playboy model came to mass at our parish one sunday. she wore the absolute tiniest dress I’ve ever seen that plunged to the top of her stomach. it was either light pink or skin colored. something i’d have worn to bed on my wedding night. I was embarrassed for her. I had to say a prayer for our priest and deacons when she went up for communion. sure they’re holy men but they’re still MEN!!  stop tempting our priests and cover up! it’s only an hour a week, people.
now at the same time, I’m hoping people aren’t judging me because I wear jeans and flip flops to church every week…because i’m 9 months pregnant and I only have one pair of pants that fit and my feet are so swollen!
let’s all just be nice and do our best

it was all about my spiritual side, not my physical side.

boom.

I normally agree with Jen 100%, but this time, I think she missed something. I think the loss of good dressing comes precisely from this attitude from the above commenter—that somehow our “real” self is not our “body.” Our “spiritual” side and our “physical” side are distinct and easily separated.

People in the “good old days” perhaps felt, that their body was part and parcel of their whole person, not some exterior layer that could be taken off, surgically altered, or displayed differently depending on “what they felt like” that day.

Today there is a widespread belief that not just your “physical self”, or your appearance but your whole public persona is a “cultural performance” that you can take on and off.

My grandfather was Lutheran and back in the early 1970s would dress for his services in a small country church. Even in the summertime, braces, undershirt, white shirt, necktie, jacket, even in 90-degree weather in those largely non-air-conditioned places.

I think of him, reflect that it was a sign of his reverence, and I look at the slouching men dressed in worn cammy shorts and golf shirts and flipflops, and wonder about what this says about them, and their level of concern about themselves and their self-value, as well as their faith.

“I was trying point out that manner of dress is really superficial and changes in fashion aren’t something worth lamenting.” Indeed. Society’s switch from one piece swimsuits on family beaches to topless thong bottoms is highly superficial. Loss of female modesty isn’t worth lamenting, especially from men.

I agree that there really is a complete lack of gratitude in most people. I also note there is a pronounced sentiment of “it’s really all about me”; am I comfortable? what do I feel like doing?, etc. Of course there were certain issues in the past, but too often modern day people just seem to think they are so superior to those who lived in the past. They frequently claim all sorts of things about which they clearly know only by rumor or heresay.                                    Most revolting of all are the ones who think they are morally superior to others precisely because they dress like slobs, particularly at Mass. My husband was chastized for wearing a suit to a local church. He didn’t go back.                                              I have never pointed out anyone in Mass who was dressed too casually (and I prefer those who wear jeans and t-shirts to the well- but immodestly- dressed crowd) and frankly, I couldn’t tell you after Mass what almost anyone wore, but I am still in favor of “Sunday go to meeting” clothes.

Ahhhh! So many facets of this I want to comment on.
1. One of the reasons we look so sloppy nowadays is because so many of us (2/3?) are overweight or obese (myself included).  It’s really hard to not look sloppy when you have to wear baggy clothes.  The only other choice is to wear clothes that fit and show your figure, which ends up looking immodest and sloppy anyway because of all the exaggerated curves and fat rolls.

2. The 1950s are what caused the feminist revolution.  Prior to this time, women had an important role in society.  The home was a place of production and women were a part of the economy.  The 1950s was the first time the home became purely a place of consumption (because men could afford a wife who did nothing but stay home and look pretty).  Of course women focused on dressing up and having immaculate homes.  They had nothing else to do after their 2.5 children went off to school (ahem, birth control, ahem).  It was these sad, bored women who ignited the spark of feminism.

3. I hate it when people use air travel as an example of people not dressing up anymore.  Do you know what air travel was like in those days?  You were treated like a person!  You weren’t strip searched and didn’t have to sit on your neighbor’s lap.  They even fed you! Now you are treated at best like cattle, and at worst like a terrorist.  I’m not going to make myself any more uncomfortable by dressing up.

4. Air conditioning is the reason we feel hotter in the summer (and therefore conclude that we must wear less clothing).  Without AC, you body gradually adjusts to the changing seasons.  People today feel the heat much more acutely because they are going in and out of artificially cooled climates.

Actually, my house is not air conditioned (we do have window units that we use when desperate), and the only time in my life that I ever had central AC (for three summers) was also the only time in my life that I enjoyed summer.  I didn’t mind going outside and getting hot and sweaty if I knew that I could eventually come in and cool off.  Now that I don’t have central AC, when it’s in the 90s there is no refuge, so I spend most of the summer living for the few and far between moderate days when the temperatures are in the 70s.  However, even on the hottest days I still dress modestly.  I never wear anything less than a short-sleeved t-shirt and capris.

This is an interesting approach to the subject.

I offer my additional testimony that dressing well can actually help reform one’s total attitude toward the world, and that being well-ordered in appearance (something I think is maybe somewhat different from caring about looking good) can do a lot to help bring order to one’s inner life much as having a neat work area can help one be organized at work.

Padre Pio used to refuse to give communion to women if he thought their sleeves were too short, but now some people think it’s controversial if a pastor doesn’t want to give communion to a woman if he can see her cleavage when she kneels.

@eric: I am no expert in Canon law, but I believe that refusing someone Communion may be a violation, as there was a bit of a dust-up when priests refused Communion to someone who knelt rather than stood.  Rome was rather direct in informing the priest(s) that was not proper.

Patrick,
No, no one morns the lose of powdered wigs. However, I think that their is a bit of a differance between adopting a new fasion to wear in church or work or a new way of being respectful, and simply dropping all forms of respect and allowing yourself to be sloppy in all situations. Think of all the polite, dignified, freindly, well dressed people you know. Now Imagine leaving them behind traveling from here to the middle east, they have a different set of dress, and a different set of manners. Finally, imagine you traveled back home to find that the few manners we have kept are gone, even with those freinds, and everybody dresses like Larry the Cable guy and everybody talks as vulgarly as Daniel Tosh. All. The. Time. You would lament it, wouldn’t you?

I hate dressing up. So uncomfortable and expensive. Clean clothes, clean bodies, clean hair, flesh covered, those are the things that I care about.

This is an interesting approach to the subject.I like dressing up,I like fashion.I often buy something online,such as square neck multi-color day dresses.Dressing up makes me bequtiful!

@Catherine: I don’t agree with you on your topic of heat being felt in the summer.  I have trouble with heat (80+), but I can take cold (-20 or lower) with fewer layers than average joe.  I think it is more of a regional thing.

Also, I wish that schools would return to uniforms.  The grade school I attended until 5th grade had them, no school I have attended since has.  The quality of teaching was best at that first grade school.

Yes.  The elderly seem the most “retro” in dressing.  I say that maybe that’s perhaps because they’re most common at daily Mass?

Still, it’s disturbing to see an elderly guy, reading the epistle or distributing Communion, geared out in rubber slippers and board shorts with a “surfer T” on. 

Would he wear that out to a nice dinner with friends?  Or if being “honored” or pursuing a privelage (such as receiving a trophy for something?)  He sure wouldn’t dare wear that to jury duty!

It is fun to ask after Mass, “GOIN’ SURFIN’ DOOD?”

Just ironed two work shirts for my husband, who insists on looking crisp even in his “relaxed attire” work place.  We both favor casual elegance.  We make the boys wear shirts with collars at mass.  Our daughter gets sent back in the house to change on occasion but has good taste.  Sometimes I suffer from “hippy envy”—they are just so relaxed…(sigh)  The stilted attire from the 50s and early 60’s is sort of beautiful but makes us laugh out loud.  but films from that era, with their “put on” voices is even more humorous. Think: (breathy) “Happy Birthday Mr. President, Happy…”  Hahahahaha.  Every generation seems to need a big kick in the pants. (or lovely skirt) and how about those cone shaped bras women used to wear?  Hilarious…..Do you love God?  Honor Him to the best of your ability in all aspects?—I’ll leave that to God to sort out.
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Yes, gratitude.
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...And I just love those lovely college girls at daily mass…even the ones in their jeans and sweats.  I want to set my son up with a couple of them…

Anna Lisa, I’ve always admired you, but now that I know you iron on a regular basis, you are definitely my hero!

Jennifer, this is good food for thought.

Like Claire, I wear pants and tee shirts (plain or patterned, no words) most of the time.  This seems appropriate for a stay at home mom, for the reasons Claire mentioned.

For Sunday Mass, I really just do not want to draw attention to myself or offend people. I do not wish to distract anyone from thinking about God. A tee shirt and casual skirt seem most appropriate for that purpose in my parish. 

There is something to be said for the “come as you are” dress.  It is possible that a person who dresses casually is thinking of God as “Abba” and feels in His presence at all times.  Dressing for Mass, in my view, is really about fellow parishioners, and, as I said, not distracting them.

I would like to add that sometimes, those teenage girls sitting next to their parents wearing shorts are not doing so with their parents’ approval. When our girls were all young, we insisted they wear dresses or skirts to Mass. We had a circle of friends who exchanged hand-me-downs, so we always had dresses or skirts.  As they got older, and the cost of living went up more quickly than my husband’s salary did, we were unable to buy many dresses or skirts.  I have been wearing the same skirts for 10 to 15 years.  Money is really, really tight.  Our oven broke and we have not yet fixed it, for example; we’re not buying luxuries and then skimping on essentials.  We’re just low on money.  Our oldest daughter has a small part time job and often buys her own clothes.  Sometimes they are not as modest as I wish, and I do make suggestions on occasion, but she is eighteen, and I know we raised her to be modest, and I think she will return to that.  (She is already improving a bit.)  As for the other girls, we need to buy everyday clothes before we can buy dresses.  Even there, all three girls are close enough in size that they share clothes to an extent, just to increase their wardrobe. Just yesterday, they went to the thrift shop and bought some clothes there. They needed casual tee shirts and shorts which are not too short. 

I do know teen girls who wear dresses and skirts at all times.  They dress like 35 year old women.  They act like 35 year old women.  They lack a lot of the joyfulness and jolliness that is appropriate for youth. I never hear these girls laugh (I see them in situations other than church).  Never.  It’s good that they wear skirts to church, but some other aspects of their behavior seem troubling to me. The constant dressing up seems to me a symptom of something larger and somewhat problematic.

As for the elderly, I wonder how many have difficulty getting dressed?  In all seriousness, when my husband’s grandma gets dressed to go out, it takes her a tremendously long time. She sometimes wears housecoats in her home because getting dressed is such an ordeal. Maybe for those who are elderly and arthritic, for example, clothes with buttons and zippers and snaps are difficult to put on.  Those stretchy pants and blouse type tee shirts might be the best the ladies can muster.  My gram, who was very devout, never wore dresses.

Another aspect I see to the “come as you are” approach is that I feel God doesn’t value appearance the way we do.  Certainly modesty and respect should be priorities for Mass, and I understand that some people who dress casually also adopt a casual posture at Mass.  But this isn’t the case for everything.  I don’t think God cares as much about fashion and formality as long as the respect and modesty are there.

I have trouble criticizing kids in sports uniforms at church. We wore our scout uniforms to church on meeting days, and felt proud and “fancy.” I don’t think a sports uniform is sloppy.

There is a firefighter who comes to Sunday Mass in his uniform; he is either ducking out from or on his way to work. I think he looks wonderful. Same with soldiers and police officers and nurses in scrubs…although scrubs can get a little TOO scrubby.

I used to wear casual clothes all week, then dress up all day on Sundays.  I would dress up for holidays and special occasions.  I felt good about myself when I was dressed up.  For the past few years now I’ve been wearing skirts and dresses every day.  I do work outside of the home, but the principle can be applied in any circumstance.  The point being that, if you are going to sweat or get dirty, are you making the situation any better by also wearing shabby clothes?  Old jeans and t-shirts may be suited for yard work, but when did they become the SAHM uniform?  At the end of the day (or week) I have to wash my clothes.  Period.  What’s the difference if I get odor and grime a skirt and blouse as opposed to t-shirt and jeans?  Are we not allowed to sweat in blouses?  If my husband is going to come home to a clean toilet and sweaty wife, he’s at least going to see a neat and feminine looking wife.  He and I both feel great about our decision to wear nicer clothes when we aren’t knee-deep in muck.  I regret that it took me so long to make the switch.  The only time I wear jeans and t-shirts is when I do yard work.  I’m never caught looking like a frump.  I may not always have makeup on.  I may not always wear jewelry.  But there is nothing in my wardrobe that allows me the choice of looking sloppy.

Jeans and t-shirts aren’t necessarily sloppy.  But in my case, a nice outfit can look very sloppy when I sweat.  Yes, we’re allowed to sweat in nice clothes.  I just don’t see much point to it.  If I’m sweaty, I’m not going to look that great in nice clothes, so I would rather wear clothes that match the situation (and I don’t think I look un-feminine in them;  no one would ever accuse me of looking masculine).  That’s just my preference.

Well put Maria!  It is amazing how in just a few decades, many women have completely lost the ability to do anything in a skirt or dress.  I remember my great aunt riding her tractor (not a lawn tractor, but a real tractor for farming), in a pretty straw hat, sturdy cotton floral print dress, apron, bobby socks, and old-fashioned lace up shoes.  She did everything in this uniform and was a busy farm wife. 

I have been dresses and skirts only for 6 years now and feel better than ever.  I have yet to find something I can’t do in a skirt.  If the Amish and countless women in the past wear/wore skirts always, there is nothing to say that I can’t either.

Jennifer, great article.  I can’t believe how some disagree with it and make something else out of it.  It annoys me how “the poor” are always brought up with articles of “dressing appropriately for the occasion”.  I grew up very poor but we always had at least one nice outfit to wear to Mass.  Our clothes were clean and neat, maybe that’s why today I have a problem with seeing people dressed like they just got out of bed and showing up half naked at Mass.  Our church is so cold that even if Texas weather, I have to dress in layers but I still see women in short shorts and strapless tops.  Go figure.

My mother had eight children yet she was always dressed properly when I was growing up, even when she did the wash! The only so called modern appliance she had was a wringer/washer, the one that you turned by hand and an iron/ironing board yet, we were always dressed clean, wrinkle free and modest.  My dad did try and help her when he could but he always worked two jobs until he retired.  I was at a prayer meeting/mass last night where a handful of us women were talking about the lax attitude many people have in going to church with shorts, baseball/football shirts, low-cut blouses, mini-skirts and the list goes on.  I believe that not only parents are to blame (for many dress very immodest) but our Priests for not saying anything at the pulpit!
And also, there’s no more respect in our churches.  People come in talking/laughing as if they were going to attend a social event!  The priest now must break out with a joke. Why?  I didn’t think I was going to a “Comedy Cafe”?  There’s no more respect in our churches and then we wonder why our nation is falling apart and also our families.  The priests need to stop telling jokes, start telling people that they “must” wear proper attire in church and keep quiet once they enter God’s house!  I came back to my Catholic faith after being a Protestant for 28 years and also came back to a “very Protestant” Catholic church.  No more saints, the Holy Eucharist is now hidden, some Catholic churches have done away w/the Crucifix and many Catholic churches look like secular building’s!  No wonder people don’t have respect in how they act/dress when attending Mass!  We need Catholic churches to “Look like Catholic churches” again.  God help us!

Jenny ,
Your comments ring home.
I wear a skirt riding my “tractor”(commercial mower) out in our field.It works out OK with a long skirt but even one ending just below the knees tends to blow up in the wind.I’m also more likely to break out in poison ivy rash on any part of my legs that are uncovered while mowing.Don’t know if your great aunt ran into that issue or not.  :)
I have Mennonite friends who-like me-just wear skirts or dresses.They do everything just fine dressed that way.
We’re all made differently, but I think one could generalize that many women have body shapes not compatible with britches,especially tight fitting ones.And that goes for pyjamas, too. When’s the last time you saw any decent nightgowns for sale in WalMart that didn’t look like they were designed for the nursing home?

Espe ,
Things are changing, don’t lose heart.The newer churches where we live are being built in the traditional style.Candles & saints statues are everywhere & it’s the younger families that are most active in seeking the best of our Catholic heritage.Things tend to swing like a pendulum & I think the pendulum’s already heading back from wherever it went in the ‘60’s & ‘70’s.
At least 2 parishes here have signs outside requesting modest attire in church.Priests have to be careful in not appearing to be uncharitable, but they still have a responsibility to ask for respect, whether in dress or behavior, before the Blessed Sacrament.
Some young people are clueless & I don’t think they really mean disrespect.We have to be careful & be sure we speak to them in charity & they know we welcome them & value them.They’re just taking their cues from the world & from media & not really evaluating things as you or I might.

Claire, that’s sweet.  But I’ll confess that I tried to buy the “no iron” cotton shirts so I wouldn’t have to do it, but I’d find my husband sneaking to iron those too.  He’s also fastidious about shining his shoes. (South Americans are extremely class conscious even if they don’t mean to be snobby) I’ve learned to actually like ironing now, as a simple act of love. It’s relaxing too. Big feast days are a major production though, as it takes a couple of hours to iron for 10 people.  Ha!  No maids here!  My husband steps up to the plate for that. He isn’t sexist at all about Women’s chores. The boys look smashing in their sports coats and the girls in their crisp dresses.  The old people go crazy over them.  They are easier to forgive when they look like that.  Sunday before last however, I could have been nominated as the birth-control-poster-mother, due to two little imps.  The three year old will literally dive under pews to try to harvest old gum.  Nice eh?

This is a very important psychological question I have not fully resolved. However, the absence of a sense of reverence is what really comes to the fore of my mind. It is a terrible message to say that we don’t have anything left to dress up for. Or is it rather that we don’t have any respect for anyone including ourselves, except when it comes to money but Mark Zuckenburg ended that as well. I think that what has eroded is the sense of formality. It used to be you adresses people by thier last name until invited to use their first. Today, one (and people don’t refer to themselves as ‘one’ anymore) is treated as being undeserving of being called by anything but their first name. It is a form of the devolved sense of equality that is constantly pushed in America.

Oh, and I wonder what some of the people above would say about the altar boy at our University parish that has a big blue mohawk?  He’s a good kid, and he always makes me smile.  We also have a kid who has Jesus hair,half way down his back and beard. He may look like a Woodstock time warp, but he always has his rosary.  He just came into the church last Easter, and he’s literally brimming with joy.  His eyes shine.  I think when the high wears off he’s going to realize that none of us are quite as nice as he actually assumes we are.  Lol.  Poor guy.

David,
I live in a part of the country where we use folk’s first names but we preface it with a Mr. or Miss (Miss Anne, Mr. Jimmy)
My parents never allowed us to call adults by first name unless we added the courtesy title. My children were brought up the same way, too.Just shows respect.So does “Yes Sir” & “Yes Ma’am.”
Courtesy isn’t something you want to get all scrupulous & rigid about because then it loses charity, but it certainly makes the world a more pleasant place to live in when you practise it.

I’m a six foot tall woman, so it can be very difficult to find clothes that fit properly.  There are hardly any stores in my area that carry shirts which are long enough.  I’ve also noticed a huge trend toward lower and lower necklines, along with fabric so thin I could give it a paper cut. I certainly dress up for church, but for my everyday clothes I usually have to wear men’s sized T-shirts and cargo shorts just to be able to stay modest. Women’s clothes are not made to cover us up enough nowadays.

I have my son call adults either Miss/Mr. first name, or Mr. & Mrs. unless they tell him otherwise.  It used to drive me crazy when my grandmother was in the nursing home, and the staff would invite themselves to call her by her first name.  She was from a generation where you did not call members of an older generation by their first names unless asked to (that’s the way I think it should still be today), and it infuriated me that they talked down to her like that just because she was old.

Claire,
My greataunt had the same experience in an assisted care home. She was too much of a lady to tell the staff she was not comfortable being called by her first name.
Good for you teaching manners!It opens many doors.

Thanks Kathleen. My grandmother was also too polite to say anything, and I’m kicking myself that I didn’t speak up on her behalf.

Claire,
Me, too.I did mention it to Aunt Sadie but I should have spoken to the staff as well.

Enness, please give me a break lol! Yes God is your father but FIRST He is your CREATOR. You choose to not dress to the “nines” to see your parents. God is above you and your parents. Or didn’t you know that? Do you consider going to Mass the “same thing” as going to play pool? Or going shopping? Just don’t understand your mindset.

I’ve recently given much more thought to my dress, and how it not only reflects how I feel about myself, but my respect for others.  Our pastor gave a speech on appropriate dress at mass, and he emphasized how your dress can lead other to sin; i.e. - dressing immodestly can lead a man to have lascivious thoughts.  I never thought about my dress in that manner before.  Now I am striving for modesty and wearing skirts and dresses more.  I just feel more appropriately dressed, and I want to emphasize that it does not cost more to dress modestly and age-appropriate.  I would love gloves to come back in style - it was probably more sanitary, right?

Oh, Robin, I don’t think gloves would be very sanitary. I wash my hands a million times a day and they’re still not often clean. Gloves are like carpets…trapping and holding everything.

Very interesting thread and one of the most civil discussions I’ve heard. As usual, I see many different personalities and preferences. That accounts for much of the difference in dress and style that we see.

I’m all for looking fancy and polished, but it doesn’t seem to work out that way for me. So many factors.

My sister once told me why she started dressing for Mass. There was this really cute guy there one day, so she made sure to dress up for next week. That really cute guy wasn’t actually a regular mass attendee, but since he saw this really cute girl at mass the odd time that he showed up, he decided to show up again the following week. Wasn’t he pleased to see my sister, dressed so very nicely and wasn’t my sister pleased to see him! So, now they’re very happily married, having lifted each other up, attending mass regularly with their little family.

I was watching some old movies from my aunt’s collection. I love the fashion and they were all having such a great time in the holiday clips. I’m sure the booze and party atmosphere had more to do with it than the dress, but it was really nice to see them all dressed and tailored so nicely.

Overheard at military chapel 1992: “Who are the people coming in now?” “Catholics…you can tell by the way they’re dressed.”
I was in the chapel gathering space waiting for Protestants to leave after their service in the non-denominational chapel.  Mass would begin shortly.  Hearing what these men said (both wearing suit & tie), I looked at the people coming and going.  And yes, I could indeed pinpoint who was Catholic and who was Protestant; the former looked like they were heading to the nearby beach.  The latter looked like they were attending something serious.
Going grocery shopping, getting gas, working in the office, picking up the mail, dashing into Mass ... Why can’t I be comfortable by wearing ___ (fill in the blank: flip-flops, shorts, tank top, offensively worded/pictured t-shirt cutoffs, ball cap worn backward, ripped-knee blue jeans, sweat pants, sweat shirt, etc.)
Does God care how you dress as long as you’re coming to Mass?  That’s a personal question, of course.  But if your priest showed up for Mass in t-shirt, shorts and flip-flops would you think he was ready to celebrate Mass?  Would you take him seriously?  Would you take the Mass seriously?
Another question: have you watched NBA or college-level basketball lately?  Notice what the head coach is wearing?  Have you looked at a White House press conference where important information is being announced?  Or the evening news…have you noticed what the anchor (man or woman) is wearing?  When I walk by my county courthouse, I know instantly who is going to appear in court by his or her clothes.
You have the freedom to dress up or dress down—God doesn’t care as long as you show up for Mass.  Right?

I still have very clear memories of how and when this casual dress change came about.
It started with the “bra-burning” feminists in the late 1960’s.  I was finishing high school at the time.  Even public school females wore dresses and skirts to school up until then. 
At Loyola U., Chicago, the policy of dressing for Sunday dinner (ties and sportcoat) was eliminated in 1968-69.  That same year, students were no longer required to attend Sunday mass, so the attitude of “be grateful I’m here” evolved. As a nursing student, we started out wearing uniform dresses and caps, but that was quickly gone.
By the time I graduated from college, the unisex uniform of self-expression was jeans, tie-dyed t-shirts and a hairy head.

I agree…How many of you would not seriously consider your attire, if you received an invitation from the Queen of England? When we go to church, we are in the presence of the King of Kings. Is the Lord less regal than Q. Elizabeth? I was taught that as a child, growing up in a Spanish country.Even now, when I visit my home town I see the people, the most humble and poor and the upper classes look their very best at mass on Sundays. As a matter of fact,when my husband and I visit my country, we do not wear sneakers or shorts to stores (not even to supermarkets), restaurants or any other public places. It is considered a lack of respect for others.The same thing happens in Europe. My son and wife went to Italy for their honeymoon:they saw the difference on how they were treated when they dressed up as opposed to “being too casual”.Comfort has its place. There is such thing as being proper, dignified and respectful, especially at church.

I think it is a loss for the culture, not just because “we don’t think it is important” but because people behave better when dressed well.  I think one of the causes of the loss of civil society is the casualness of our dress.  I also think there is something to be said about a woman who takes the time to take care of herself and get dressed in the morning.  I’m not even saying dressed up, I’m saying dressed.  I see lots of people going about their days in the equivalent of bathrobes and bedroom slippers (even in public!), or living in workout clothing.  I get that people are busy, but how long does it take to comb one’s hair and put on something decent?  Clothing is cheap and disposable these days (a topic for another day…); it is easy enough to find something to wear.

I know plenty of people who dress casually (and I don’t mean sloppy, there is a difference) and behave very nicely, and I have also seen plenty of people who are dressed to the nines and treat others very poorly and/or have a superiority complex.  And it is possible to be proper, dignified and respectful at Mass without necessarily dressing formally.  Formal dress is a human value;  God cares much more about the disposition of our hearts then our outward appearance.  An outward appearance can reflect respect and reverence without necessarily being formal (again, I’m not talking about dressing immodestly or with ripped, stained or sloppy clothes, which can definitely reflect an attitude of carelessness).

Modesty is overlooked by Parents.  Parents pay for the clothing their children wear, and are responsible as youths’ primary teachers.
What is more important - Saving your children’s Souls for eternity or being the most popular kid on the block for a few years ?
The entire family should dress in their best business attire for Sunday Mass as well.

Does God care how you dress as long as you’re coming to Mass? MY SHORT ANSWER IS, YES HE DOES, BE RESPECTFUL OF HIM. Doesn’t have to be a suit & tie are a fancy dress but be descent.

There is a matter of dressing up and dressing decent for mass. I know jeans are all some people have, I see no problem with that as long as there are no holes in them. As far as tops and dresses that the ladies. young women and little girls wear to church with just spaghetti straps or strapless. or too much clevage showing, is most inappropriate, I must say. Unless they have a shirt or jacket on top of that or wear a camisole under the shirt or dress to cover that clevage.  And the young girls/women who do wear a dress, some are way too short………  The wearing of shorts both by boys, men, girls, young women at mass is a no, no. There was this young couple some time back that brought up the gifts; she had a pair of shorts that were just as short as having a pair of regular (Granny panties) on. To me that was totally disrespectful.

Here are a few of the statements from above in (” “) I felt they were worth rereading or to some seeing for the first time:

“An outward appearance can reflect respect and reverence without necessarily being formal” “There is such thing as being proper, dignified and respectful, especially at church.”

“And also, there’s no more respect in our churches.  People come in talking/laughing as if they were going to attend a social event!  The priest now must break out with a joke. Why?  I didn’t think I was going to a “Comedy Cafe”?  There’s no more respect in our churches and then we wonder why our nation is falling apart and also our families.  The priests need to stop telling jokes, start telling people that they “must” wear proper attire in church and keep quiet once they enter God’s house!”

“But if your priest showed up for Mass in t-shirt, shorts and flip-flops would you think he was ready to celebrate Mass?  Would you take him seriously?  Would you take the Mass seriously?
Another question: have you watched NBA or college-level basketball lately?  Notice what the head coach is wearing?  Have you looked at a White House press conference where important information is being announced?  Or the evening news…have you noticed what the anchor (man or woman) is wearing?”

susie ,
I think God cares most about what’s in our hearts, but I hear you.
I’d add, what does your banker wear? Would you trust your money with someone in beachwear?The list could go on & on.I can’t imagine we’d even have a conversation about it 50 yrs ago.It’s sad.
We do have a loss of reverence & it shows in our attire.We don’t want to become uncharitable & rigid but some respect & common sense are needed I think.And it may reflect differently amongst differing cultures.

Sunday’s best is gone…from church, but not from ESPN.
Surely, we can do better.

I have something to add that doesn’t have to do with Mass, although I firmly believe that most people dress very inappropriately for this. When my husband had a very serious illness I took him to see many different doctors. I noticed that when I was dressed up( (or just a bit more formally) that we were treated much differently. We were treated with more respect and spoken to in a more dignified way. Didn’t take me long to learn to dress in a way that made the most of our visit. I speak to others when their loved ones are diagnosed with cancer about the many issues of which they will have to deal and I always add that dressing nicely at all doctor visits will make a difference. I always hear back that this was a great piece of advice!

Wow, after reading through the thread, my heart was overjoyed because there’re still Godly and church-going people out there.  I also noticed that the majority was women.  Well, I’m a man and giant bravos to all your comments ladies.  I decided to post my comments after these two thoughts came raging through my mind.
I remember in 2001, after my high school graduation, I made a trip to Vietnam with a friend of mine.  It was a sunday and we found this one catholic church where the resort was.  As a tourist, I went to church in shorts and t-shirt for it was hot in the summer.  Well, I sat down in the church pew for like 5 minutes when I was told that the priest wanted to talk to me.  Long story short, I was “kicked” home unless I came back with long pants and shirts tugged in.  At first, I protested strongly about this and I could come up with a thousand reasons for not complying with the priest.  Did it make any difference?  Apparently NOT.  So I did have to come back with the required outfit before I was allowed to enter church.  I chuckled when I thought back about this experience, but I see why now.  That’s just to say that we, Americans, take a LOT of things for granted.  Like Mrs. Jennifer Fulwiler mentioned in the article, we dress up for God because it’s important and it’s a privilege for us to be ABLE to do so.  I noticed some of the comments mentioned that it’s our hearts that really mattered here.  Well, actually, yes, that’s true, but you should show it through your behaviors.  For example, you say you love your husband and children and NOT show that love to them through a gazillion ways, will they believe you?  I don’t think so.  The same goes for God.  If you respect Him, then show it through the way you dress.  That’s the least thing you could do for the ONe who has created you and me, right.
Here’s another thing that irked me so bad.  And I mean it.  Ok, this goes back when I was still a party pooper. 
When you go clubbing or to a certain bar, they have a dress code that you MUST follow.  For those of you who have never gone out in life, trust me on this.  It was two years ago that I had to stand in line at this one club in Houston because they had to make you dressed appropriately.  I don’t remember the dress code for the women, but for the gentlemen, we had to be in dress shoes, long pants and dress shirts.  And young people were willing to do this and paid just to get in.  I had to laugh out loud when I wrote this.  Basically, people would dress up for the devil to show respect or whatever because you did dress up didn’t you, but GOD, as much skin-showing as possible.  Ok ladies, may I ask a question: Are you here to worship or you are going to a fashion show?  Are you here because you care about what God thinks of you and what other people think of you?  For Gentlemen, you dress up in pants and ties for work, and you wear shorts to daily mass and Sunday mass.  Seriously?  Bottom line: Does God’s opinion matter to you and other people’s who you hardly know matter more to you?  Like Father Barron said: who do you worship?  Take it or leave it.  Thanks for reading my post.

Awareness about how one dresses, may be about self respect, but I also see it as respect for others in the same public space or event I am attending. If being busy makes it too difficult to care how we live every day than what is the point of being so busy? I live overseas part of the year and I have to say, for all the wealth and privilege we are supposed to be happy about…we still dress like we are ashamed of ourselves.  Sad.

That’s right, it’s not a fashion show.  That’s the point I’ve been trying to make.  God doesn’t care about fashion.  Respect can be shown by presenting yourself as neat, clean and modest, with a properly disposed heart.  If you want to dress formally on top of that, fine.  But the superiority and self-righteous attitudes of some of these posts is really counterproductive.

For what it’s worth, I’ve found a pretty simple solution to the dressing up issue.  Every morning before daily mass I put on a denim skirt and a moderately nice top.  As soon as I get home, I exchange the nice top for a t-shirt to where around the house, but leave the nice top on the back of a chair in my room.  If I have to go out, I simply change back.  With this method, I actually do less laundry: I can typically where each of these three items all week, unless I am doing particularly messy housework or cooking.  I wash all three on Saturday night after I’ve changed for bed. Then they’re fresh and ready for when I get home from Sunday mass. The same principle works with children at home.
On a smaller but actually more important note, I try to remember that if I am still dressed up we go out to eat after church, everyone in the restaurant believes I am a Christian, so I try to be on my best behavior, too.

Funny this just occurred to me as I have agreed to be a Eucharistic Minister to the homebound and in nursing homes… and as the reality of the commitment set in, I thought to myself, “I’d better dress extra nicely on those Sundays that I’m bringing Christ to someone’s home.”
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I dress for church anyway.  I don’t think I’ve even worn slacks to Mass in years… I feel more feminine and worthy of Christ’s presence in skirts and dresses.  Even in the winter, I prefer wearing long wool skirts with some nice boots —- than wearing even pants to church.  ( do wear slacks to work)
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And no offense to Susan, but I don’t think I could bear wearing a denim skirt to Mass.  how is that any different than a nice a pair of designer jeans?  God deserves better than denim!
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Needless to say, I’m beside myself with a parishioner who wears jeans and/ or cargo shorts not only to Mass… but to serve as a Eucharistic Minister!!!  He goes up to the altar in those clothes!!! 

Susan, I really like your solution.  Denim skirts are very versatile and can definitely be dressed up.  Very thoughtful approach.

This is the third occasion I have “happened” on a blog discussing garments, with particular emphasis on women’ clothing.  Each time the number of comments has exceeded those that I have seen regarding other topics.  Obviously, this is something that many, especially women,think about or the comments wouldn’t exist. We live in a period of time when there is much more choice available, with an incredible variance regarding prices.  Our religion, value-base, cash expenditure, size of family and time as well as how we wish to be “viewed” are among just a few of the parts that go into what we have on our bodies. Although we do not really consider “class” division, that enters into the picture as well, as surely as it has since we first put on skins from animals (or those fig leaves…hummmmm, should I have that one turned a different way?)  It’s fascinating to see the different, varied points of view and the reasons for them.  I have to admit that until ten years ago, it was straight skirts and high heels.  Then a bit of brain damage left me with the balance of a drunk. I’ve worked very hard to overcome this, but there is still the chance of falling. So slacks or jeans, I still like to look a bit dressed up when out somewhere, and always at Sunday Mass. I have so much enjoyed reading everyone’s comments. I bet this clothing interest will continue until the end of time. (I have at times, I must admit, wished I had a “cat’s furry” outfit.  The time saved!  And old cats don’t look as bad or deteriorated as old people. Did we get short-changed?)

Just last night as my husband and I sat a Ruby Tuesdays I looked around and commented, ‘when we were kids, if we had come to a restaurant that looks like this one and serves food like this one, then we would have been dressed up and using good manners’. I mean this is a place that has a nice appearance and every table has a polite server, the food is cooked to order and well-appointed on the plates. The customers are sloppy, loud, with slbows on the table, heads in the plates, and in some cases, hats on.  I get the casual thing in today’s culture, but haven’t we carried it a little too far?  Isn’t there a ‘dressy casual’ where one wears decent pants or jeans (not shorts.  I even saw short shorts there last night.  we’re not at the beach :) and a shirt that is at least clean and respectable (not torn/tattered and devoid of any ‘naughty’ language or pictures)?  I’m not even saying that the shirt has to be button-down; it can be a tee, but clean and respectable, please. As far as changing clothes to go out, how much time does it take, really?  I do it all the time and I am partially disabled!  Before going out I take 10 minutes to freshen my make-up and hair and change to more respectable clothes. There’s the ultimate primp/dress-up time which takes much longer, but ‘freshening up’ only takes minutes.  But I ditched the tailored suit, white gloves and the ‘gaudy’ string of pearls (although I do take exception with that description!) long ago.  It’s easy in this age of wrinkle-free clothes and automatic washers and dryers.  What’s so hard about it?  I even take a clean shirt in the car if I’m going to be running errands all day and then meeting someone for dinner.  It seems like the more ‘modern conveniences’ there have been to save work time in the home, the less we are concerned about looking good at all (and the less we are concerned about devoting that time to our kids and family, but thats’ another topic altogether).  Go figure.  And yes, I do dress and groom for others;  I don’t want to frighten them!  I think that’s being thoughtful of others, don’t you?

I’m afraid there are no more women staying at home vacuuming while wearing a dress like June Cleaver did and to also direct Wally and the Beaver in proper clothing before rushing out the door.  The model now is the mid Seventies chaos of Annie Romano in One Day at a Time.  People just have so many things on their plate including adding more apps to their Smart or Iphone.  Clothing comes in two forms, good taste or poor taste.  Armani suit or Gingham dress is not as critical as why you are worshiping in the Lord’s house.  But women and daughter’s please, showing waaaaaaay too much skin is not helpful to us men in the pews.  I mean, you gotta help the brothers out!  Moms, I know this is what all the stores sell today for your teenage girls.  But even Madonna doesn’t let her own daughter dress like she did in the 80’s.  And yes, I know, Madonna is Catholic.  At least she used to be Catholic back in her Bay City, Michigan days.

I am one of your older readers - a Boomer, I am sorry to say.  I have been wearing jeans, and then slacks or capris most of my life, and now a skirt feels foreign and uncomfortable to me.  If I were going to dress up, I’m not sure how that would look!  I think there has been such a huge cultural change (to state the obvious) in what we consider normal, that I’m not sure what is normal, or dressy.  Such a huge change, that I am not sure how to dress up any more. 

I also think and early comment hit the mark when it talked about our lives moving so fast that there is not time to change our clothing between events.

Hi there,

What’s up, just wanted to tell you, I loved this post? It just so very helpful. Keep on posting!

I appreciate reading all the comments to this article. I work in advertising and technology and have seen a very steep decline in decent dress in the workplace.  Young people entering the workplace (at least in this industry) today have been encouraged to dress casual.  A lot of them come in every day in shorts, flip flops, graphic tees (that usually make a political statement,etc.) and this attire seems to be reflected in their attitude toward one another. 

There seems to be a loss of respect for one another and for authority (go figure). I noticed when I started dress to fit in for this office culture, the less I thought of myself.

Even when I was younger (in my 20’s) I could not wear low cut tops or really short skirts.  I always felt self-conscious.  I think women can dress modestly and not feel like a stiff or frumpy. You can add a camisole to a nice dress that has a low cut top.  You still look trendy but just cover up the cleavage.

Recently, I attended a Catholic women’s retreat and I saw the entire range of dress. From modest skirts, tops and dresses to sweats, tight jeans, flip flops, etc.  Johnette Benkovic was the speaker at this retreat and many of you may know that she ALWAYS looks neat, professional and feminine.  Even though I decided to kick up my attire a notch from just casual shorts to skirts and neater kinds of shorts and tops, I still felt underdressed.  But I felt better making an effort giving my dress more thought for this retreat. There is something to be said for respecting yourself with what you wear. 

Again, you don’t have to necessarily look as sharp as Johnette Benkovic to respect yourself and others and dress better.  It’s easier to have a clean, modest yet stylish look and be comfortable at the same time.

It is 100 degrees now up in the north non Florida areas. 

See why we dress the way we do here?  See why you get mean when you are smelly and you sweat? 

THIS IS WHY I LOVE SUMMER and WEATHER REPORTS UP NORTH when EVERYONE else complains.

To a Floridan who has to do this 6 to 8 months out of the year, we laugh at you.  It is God’s justice.  It is cooler here in Tampa than where you are.

Sweet revenge that you shove off.  We laugh at you all up there.

This is why we wear flip flops and more cooler casual clothing.

Ever go to a wedding in Florida?  Half are old people in polyester slacks acting nervous. When you retire here late in life because you were so upset about stupid stuff like this, you will be just like them. 

TRuth is: the majority of the time there’s a time a place for everything. 

But we wear short sleeves tank tops with shawls when it is hot like where you are now.  I live in south Tampa proper and even with a breeze it is hot.

I think being a Christian is one of the hardest things because it asks us to recognize our selfish self, give it up, and let the Lord in.  Yes, we are WAY too judgmental and this topic very touchy.  I honestly think many use dressing down as false modesty. I also believe commercial fashion today is confusing, non-standard, so often inappropriate and based on rebellion and attention seeking. Still, a small devotion to Jesus might be to think of preparing yourself outwardly with as much energy as you need to prepare yourself inwardly for the Mass. Maybe a simple test would be if on the way to church you find yourself saying to yourself: I don’t care how I look and I don’t care what other people think…you become aware of that attitude and ask yourself, how does not wanting or needing to care about presenting yourself before Christ motivate or undermine you as a Christian.

Just an observation about the school uniform issue.  Our children attend (or attended) Catholic school until 8th grade, where there is a dress code.  The last Friday of the month is a non-uniform day, and all the adults acknowledge the difference in the students - they are louder in the cafeteria, rowdy in the halls and a little less attentive in class.  I explained to my son when he entered the school that he’d be wearing a uniform and he asked why?  My answer was - Dad dresses up to go to work (office) and you’ll be dressing to go to your work.  Outside of the obvious that uniforms are equalizing, they also seem to put the children in the schoolwork mindset - they are to do their studies and pay attention.  I wonder if anyone has done a study on that?  It would be very interesting to see if students who were required to wear uniforms (khaki or navy pants and a polo shirt for boys, jumpers or skirts and blouses for girls) do better on the SAT’s or other standard tests.  Guess there are too many other variables out there to quantify that.

In the fifties you didn’t leave the house unless you looked presentable because you had a sense of “honor”.  You wanted to honor your family or your family wanted you to honor it.  You wanted to honor God too. That became so rigid that people were unkind and uncharitable to those who did not look presentable. And then to many who were different in any way unconcerned for what caused the difference, just determined to make people conform. Thoughtful Christians new this wasn’t right. Many people were turned off by the hypocrisy of it and left organized religions. Society became intolerant in an ultra conservative way and now we have a reverse intolerance in the liberal way.  Neither one is right.  The road is narrow.  Catholics and Christians have an indwelling Spirit that reminds them of God’s Truth.  We need to be still and listen and pray.

Personally, I believe that the increasing slovenliness of Americans stems from the fact that most people don’t own a full-length mirror, or even know how clothes are supposed to fit.  Nope, they just go into a store, check the number on the size label, and buy whatever size they think they are.  If more people owned a full-length mirror, a quick glance into it before leaving the house would tell them that “their end does not justify their jeans!”

So, can anyone recommend a place for um…“horizontally enhanced” women like myself to find modest but flattering “dressy” clothing? I feel like an idiot in most skirts and I have NO idea what to wear on the top!

This is just something I found in looking up something>—Remembering that this is from Christian Church Fathers from 300 years of Christianity(195 - 300 AD). (Just saying that we are having problems now days in dressing for church….)
http://www.bibletopics.com/biblestudy/141.htm
Christian Grooming - According to the Church Fathers
The following is a fairly comprehensive collection of quotes from the early Christian Church Fathers from 300 years of Christianity:

He [God] takes away anxious care for clothes, food, and all luxuries as being unnecessary. What are we to imagine, then, should be said about love of embellishments, the dyeing of wool, and the variety of colors? What should be said about the love of gems, exquisite working of gold, and still more, of artificial hair and wreathed curls? Furthermore, what should be said about staining the eyes, plucking out hairs, painting with rouge and white lead, dyeing of the hair, and the wicked arts that are employed in such deceptions? Clement of Alexandria (circa 195 AD), 2.264.

Those women who wear gold imitate the Egyptians. They occupy themselves with curling their locks. They are busy anointing their cheeks, painting their eyes, dyeing their hair, and practicing the other pernicious arts of luxury. The truth is that they deck the covering of their flesh in order to attract their infatuated lovers. Clement of Alexandria (circa 195 AD), 2.272.

What does God think of spurious beauty, rejecting utterly as He does all falsehood? Clement of Alexandria (circa 195 AD), 2.274.

But there are circumstances in which this strictness may be relaxed. For allowance must sometimes be made in favor of those women who have not been fortunate in falling in with chaste husbands, and so they adorn themselves in order to please their husbands. But let desire for the admiration of their husbands alone be proposed as their objective. Clement of Alexandria (circa 195 AD), 2.285.

Nor are the women to smear their faces with the ensnaring devices of wily cunning. But let us show to them the decoration of sobriety. Clement of Alexandria (circa 195 AD), 2.286.

No wife is ugly to her own husband. She pleased him enough when she was selected [to be his wife]. Let none of you think that, if she abstains from beautifying herself, she will incur the hatred and aversion of her husband. Every husband is the exacter of chastity. But a believing husband does not require beauty. For we are not captivated by the same graces that the Gentiles think are graces. Tertullian (circa 198 AD), 4.20.

These suggestions [against cosmetics] are not made to you, of course, to be developed into an entire crudity and wildness of appearance. Nor am I seeking to persuade you that squalor and slovenliness are good. Rather, I am seeking to persuade you of the limit, norm, and just measure of cultivation of the person. Tertullian (circa 198 AD), 4.20.

For those women sin against God when they rub their skin with ointments, stain their cheeks with rouge, and make their eyes prominent with antimony. To them, I suppose, the artistic skill of God is displeasing! Tertullian (circa 198 AD), 4.20.

Whatever is born is the work of God. So whatever is plastered on, is the devil’s work…. How unworthy of the Christian name it is to wear a fictitious face — you on whom simplicity in every form is enjoined!  You, to whom lying with the tongue is not lawful, are lying in appearance. Tertullian (circa 198 AD), 4.21.

What purpose, again, does all the labor spent in arranging the hair render to salvation?  Why is no rest allowed to your hair?  First, it must be bound, then loosed, then cultivated, then thinned out? Some are anxious to force their hair into curls. Tertullian (circa 198 AD), 4.21.

I will then see whether you will rise [at the resurrection] with your ceruse and rouge and saffron — and in all that parade of headgear. I will then see whether it will be women thus decked out whom the angels carry up to meet Christ in the air!  If these things are now good, and of God, they will then also present themselves to the rising bodies. Tertullian (circa 198 AD), 4.22.

By no means are women to be allowed to uncover and exhibit any part of their bodies, lest both fall — the men by being incited to look, and the women by attracting to themselves the eyes of the men. Clement of Alexandria (circa. 195 AD), 2.246.

Neither are we to provide for ourselves costly clothing. Clement of Alexandria (circa 195 AD), 2.263.

I say, then, that man requires clothes for nothing else than the covering of the body, for defense against excess of cold and intensity, lest the inclemency of the air injure us. And if this is the purpose of clothing, see that one kind is not assigned to men and another to women. For it is common to both to be covered, as it is to eat and drink. . . . And if some accommodation is to be made, women may be permitted to use softer clothes, provided they avoid fabrics that are foolishly thin and of curious texture in weaving. They should also bid farewell to embroidery of gold and Indian silks. Clement of Alexandria (circa 195 AD), 2.265.

Luxurious clothing that cannot conceal the shape of the body is no more a covering. For such clothing, falling close to the body, takes its form more easily. Clinging to the body as though it were the flesh, it receives its shape and outlines the woman’s figure. As a result, the whole make of the body is visible to spectators, although they cannot see the body itself.  Clement of Alexandria (circa 195 AD), 2.265.

Neither is it seemly for the clothes to be above the knee. Clement of Alexandria (circa 195 AD), 2.266.

Buying, as they do, a single dress at the price of ten thousand talents, they prove themselves to be of less use and less value than cloth. Clement of Alexandria (circa 195 AD), 2.267.

Those who glory in their looks — not in their hearts — dress to please others. Clement of Alexandria (circa 195 AD), 2.273.

Let a woman wear a plain and becoming dress, but softer than what is suitable for a man. “Yet, it should not be immodest or entirely steeped in luxury. And let the garments be suited to age, person, figure, nature, and pursuits. Clement of Alexandria (circa 195 AD), 2.285.

Woman and man are to go to church decently attired, with natural step, embracing silence. . .. Let the woman observe this, further: Let her be entirely covered, unless she happens to be at home. For that style of dress is serious and protects from being gazed at. And she will never fall, who puts before her eyes modesty and her veil. Nor will she invite another to fall into sin by uncovering her face. For this is the wish of the Word, since it is becoming for her to pray veiled. Clement of Alexandria (circa 195 AD), 2.290.

What reason is there in the Law’s prohibition against a man wearing woman’s clothing? Is it not that it would have us to be masculine and not to be effeminate in either person or actions? Clement of Alexandria (circa 195 AD), 2.365.

Concerning modesty of dress and embellishments, indeed, the commandment of Peter is likewise plain, restraining as he does with the same mouth . . . the glory of garments, the pride of gold, and the showy elaboration of the hair. Tertullian (circa 198 AD), 3.687.

First, then, blessed sisters, take heed that you do not admit to your use flashy and sluttish garbs and clothing. Tertullian (circa 198 AD), 4.22.

The dress of a modest woman should be modest. Novatian (circa 235 AD), 5.591, formerly attributed to Cyprian.

But self-control and modesty do not consist only in purity of the flesh, but also in seemliness and in modesty of dress and adornment. Cyprian (circa 250 AD), 5.431; extended discussion: 5.430-5.436.

Let the head of men be clipped, unless they have curly hair. But let the chin have the hair. ... Cutting is to be used, not for the sake of elegance, but on account of the necessity of the case ... so that it may not grow so long as to come down and interfere with the eyes. Clement of Alexandria (circa 195 AD), 2.286.

It is enough for women to protect their locks, and bind up their hair simply along the neck with a plain hair-pin, nourishing chaste locks with simple care to true beauty. Clement of Alexandria (circa 195 AD), 2.286.

This [male] sex of ours acknowledges to itself deceptive trickeries of form peculiarly its own. I am referring to things such as . . . arranging the hair, and disguising its hoariness by dyes. Tertullian (circa 198 AD), 4.22.

A woman should not be adorned in a worldly fashion. . .. “Let your women be such as adorn themselves with shamefacedness and modesty, not with twisted hair, nor with gold, nor with pearls, or precious garments.” Cyprian (circa 250 AD), 5.544.

[Instructions to Christian Servants of Caesar:] All of you should also be elegant and tidy in person and dress. At the same time, your dress should not in any way attract attention because of extravagance or artificiality. Otherwise, Christian modesty may be scandalized. Theonas of Alexandria (circa 300 AD ), 6.160.

Though in the form of men, they . . . curl their hair with curling pins, make the skin of the body smooth, and they walk with bare knees. In every other type of wantonness, they lay aside the strength of their masculinity and grow effeminate in women’s habits and luxury. Arnobius (circa 305 AD), 6.450.

[To the men…] Do not adorn yourself in such a manner that you might entice another woman to you…. Do not further enhance the beauty that God and nature has bestowed on you. Rather, modestly diminish it before others. Therefore, do not permit the hair of your head to grow too long. Rather, cut it short…. Do not wear overly fine garments, either…. Nor should you put a gold ring on your fingers. Apostolic Constitutions (compiled circa 390 AD), 7.392.

If you desire to be one of the faithful and to please the Lord, O wife, do not add adornments to your beauty, in order to please other men. Do not wear fine embroidery, garments, or shoes, to entice those who are allured by such things. It may be that you do not do these wicked things for the purpose of sinning yourself — but only for the sake of adornment and beauty. Nevertheless, you still will not escape future punishment for having compelled another to look so close at you as to lust after you. Apostolic Constitutions (compiled circa. 390, AD), 7.395.

It was the fact that Tamar had painted out and adorned herself that led Judah to regard her as harlot. Tertuttian (circa 198 AD), 4.24.

Draw your whiteness from simplicity, your ruddy hue from modesty. Paint your eyes with bashfulness, and your mouth with silence. Implant in your ears the words of God and place around your necks the yoke of Christ. Tertulliann (circa 198 AD), 4.25.

What will I say of the fact that these [young women] of ours confess their change of age even by their garb! As soon as they have understood themselves to be women,... they lay aside their former selves. They change their hair and fasten their hair with more wanton pins, professing obvious womanhood with their hair parted from the front. The next thing, they consult the mirror to aid their beauty. They thin down their over-exacting face with washing. Perhaps they even dress it up with cosmetics. They toss their mantle about them with an air, fit tightly into the multiform shoe, and carry down more ample appliances to the baths. Tertullian (circa 207 AD), 4.35.

“Now Susannah was a very delicate woman.” This does not mean that she had flashy adornments on herself or eyes painted with various colors — as Jezebel had. Rather, it means she had the adornment of faith, chastity, and sanctity. Hippolytus (circa 205 AD), 5.193.

She is not a modest woman who strives to stir up the fancy of another — even though her physical chastity is preserved. Away with those who do not really adorn their beauty, but prostitute it instead.  For anxiety about beauty is not only the wisdom of an evil mind, but belongs to deformity. . . . Why is the color of hair changed?  Why are the edges of the eyes darkened?  Why is the face molded by art into a different form?  Novatian (circa 235 AD), 5.591, formerly attributed to Cyprian.

You wish, O Christian woman, that the matrons should be as the ladies of the world. You surround yourself with gold, or with the modest silken garment. . . . You affect vanity with all the pomp of the devil. You are adorned at the mirror, with your curled hair turned back from your brow.  Moreover, with evil purpose, you put on false cosmetics.  You put antimony on your pure eyes, with painted beauty. Or you dye your hair, so that it will always be black. . . . But these things are not necessary for modest women. Commodianus (circa 240 AD), 4.214.

To a wife approved by her husband, let it suffice that she is so, not by her dress, but by her good disposition. . . . O good matrons, flee from the adornment of vanity. Such attire is fitting for women who haunt the brothels. Overcome the evil one, O modest women of Christ! Commodianus (circa. 240 AD), 4.214.

It is not right before God that a faithful Christian woman should be adorned…  God’s heralds. . .condemn as being unrighteous those women who adorn themselves in such a manner. You stain your hair. You paint the opening of your eyes with black. You lift up your hair, one by one, on your painted brow. You anoint your cheeks with some sort of reddish color laid on. ... You are rejecting the law when you wish to please the world. Commodianus (circa 240 AD), 4.215.

Both sexes alike should be admonished that the work of God and His fashioning and formation should in no manner be adulterated — either with the application of yellow color, black dust, rouge, or with any kind of cosmetic…. God says, “Let us make man in our image and likeness.” Does anyone dare to alter and change what God has made? Cyprian (circa 250 AD), 5.434.

In their manners, there was no discipline…. In women, their complexion was dyed. Their eyes were falsified from what God’s hand had made them. Their hair was stained with a falsehood. Cyprian (circa 250 AD), 5.438.

Do not paint your face, which is God’s workmanship. For there is no part of you that lacks beauty. For God has made all things very good. But the wanton extra adorning of what is already good is an affront to the Creator’s work.  Apostolic Consitutions (compiled circa 390 AD), 7.395; extended discussion 5.432-5.436

something else I found it is rather long to post

What’s wrong with women wearing trousers
by Dr Carol Byrne WEDNESDAY, 17th JUNE, 2009 THE REQUIREMENTS FOR MODESTY IN DRESS
SKIRTING THE DIFFERENCE
If interested see link:
http://truecath.wordpress.com/2009/07/18/skirting-the-difference-whats-wrong-with-women-wearing-trousers/

The ancient Egyptians

The moral consensus

The Church’s teaching before Vatican II

How teaching sisters shaped Catholic culture

Once a Convent Girl…

The Seduction of Vatican II

“You’ve forgotten your skirt!”

No such thing as modest trousers on women

Let’s talk modesty – and honesty

Conclusion:
The key to the whole issue is for women to dress in a feminine manner so as to communicate the language of submission and acceptance of womanhood rather than the language of rebellion and rejection of God’s design. As Christian women, we have a biblical obligation to dress modestly and reflect holiness, and so we should dress in a feminine manner, to show that we accept the place God has given us in the Church, in the family and in society,. .....................read more on link above

You forget about the Beat Generation of the 50’s, who did not dress up.  Nor do you mention the polished look of many people today, who do dress in high style/fashion.  People don’t dress too fashionably for air travel because they will most likely sleep for part of the trip.  In the 40’s-50’s, air travel was new.  There was also copious alcohol consumption on early air travel, which is not the norm now.  You present a lopsided argument.  It doesn’t fully tell the story about James Dean as the epitome of cool, or that women were even more objectified than they are now.

When I read this post I remembered a conversation I had with my sisters last week about our mom, who wore gloves to the dances that she and my dad attended when we were growing up.  My oldest sister remembered her dressing up for the evening and saying, “what am I going to do about my hands?”  She had 8 children then, no dishwasher, and used bleach in the diaper pail and there was always one in diapers, so she had washerwoman’s hands.  Her solution—she wore gloves.  Makes you wonder doesn’t it.  What if she had all housedresses and just one or two nice outfits, going out anywhere would have to involve a good outfit, wouldn’t it?  Just sayin.

Oftentimes this issue of dress seems to be a way of disguising attempts to gain power. Jesus had male and female disciples. Both men and women were with Him in the upper room and at least one of them was a former prostitute. The tongues of fire and the Holy Spirit came down on male and female disciples. Unattached women and husbands separated from their wives were in that room and they were there after He was crucified. Jesus had no qualms about speaking to the woman at the well even though His disciples were surprised He would do such a thing.  He spoke to the disciples about how the gentiles like to lord it over one another and how among His disciples it should not be like that.  He said how there should be no more male or female, slave or free. Just members of the body of Christ.  And that is the key. The focus is Jesus Christ and Him living in our brothers and sisters.  Jesus was Love Incarnate.  Did every woman who saw Him want to go to bed with Him?  No, because He behaved in a way that kept their hearts and minds on their brotherhood and sisterhood and their goal of joining the Father in heaven. And if the thought crossed someones mind, I am sure He would have led them away from it by His loving, chaste example and words.  Many Saints have spoken of the graces they have received that took away any sexual temptations, also. Everything is grace! Let us not use clothing as a weapon of slavery. The Church Fathers are emphasizing modesty and simplicity because they are marks of holiness and wisdom and understanding for men and women.  Women are to be subject to their husbands because he is the head of the family as Christ is the head of the Church.  Sons,though, are to obey their mothers.  It isn’t the sex that is the only determining factor of authority, but the smooth functioning of the domestic Church.  Women are not subject to every man nor is every man subject to women according to Jesus.  If people are going to use clothing to put one above another they are on the wrong track.

Growing up, pretty much the only time I dressed up was for church.  I was the youngest of four children, my parents were poor; I was of necessity outfitted in the cheapest clothing they could afford.  I was also obese, and could not fit into my older siblings’ clothing.  :/  Not much in the market for an obese 10 year old at that time but men’s t-shirts and women’s elastic shorts.

As a teenager I lost weight and invested in 1 long black skirt (maybe what, $30 tops?).  I wore it to Mass nearly every Sunday.  Now as an adult, I have also 1 short black skirt and 1 pair of black pants.

Could dressing up get much easier!?  Nearly any shirt (okay, probably not t-shirts) will match those items.  Sandals in the summer, black flats/heels in the winter.

All this said, I’m not really super interested in what people wear. *shrug* I guess it doesn’t bother me.  I’d like to say it’s because I’m *so* virtuous that custody of my eyes is just that advanced, and that I’m so awesome at being generous of thought that I immediately create excuses for people and manage not to think bad things of them.  No, the truth is, I’m not just that observant of people’s clothing.  Couldn’t tell you why, it’s not a trial God gave to me.  Don’t get me wrong, I love seeing people dress up, especially for Mass.  But when they don’t, I suppose I don’t even notice it unless someone points it out.

I’m a little torn on this. On the one hand, I totally agree with Karianna & Mighty Mighty-I think there are easy and inexpensive ways to look a little bit nicer without spending a fortune or looking like you are in a fashion show. Last week to Mass I wore a $5 Walmart dress with a tank top and leggings. I left it on to crawl around the floor with my preschooler afterwards and was perfectly comfortable all day! The entire outfit cost under $20.

But as a convert, I actually love the welcoming atmosphere the more casual dress creates. My first Catholic parish was in a low-income urban area and the diversity was something I’d never seen at the Protestant churches I’d grown up in. It’s actually something some Protestants talk a about a lot-how can we seem less judgemental of the poor, who often feel unwelcome here because they don’t dress like the rest of us? So I don’t mind my husband and son wearing (untorn, clean) jeans and polo shirts or button-up shirts. I do think it is important to dress respectfully though, and that might mean different things to different people.

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I think the idea of dressing up for something is silly. When you go to church, it isn’t about vanity. This is God’s house,the people in it may judge you on how you are dressed…but not God. He’s there to put a word in your heart,bring you out of something,you are there to give him praise. Not win a fashion contest. And as far as dressing up meaning you’re grateful…that is silly too. Gratefulness is in the heart…manners.Not how you appear.

I love this article and I totally agree with it.  Society at large has become so lax and non-professional that any and everything goes.  We have lost our values and have succumbed to being very casual, in fact too casual.  We say “we want to be comfortable” and then we dress like we are sitting around our bedroom or dining area with no expectation of a knock at the door.  The flip side is that women are dressing like hoochies or !@#$%, wearing after 5 clothing at all hours of the day but substituting with a pair of jeans or slacks versus our formal wear which was worn back in the day.  It actually is appealing to the eye whenever we can witness a man, woman, boy or girl that is dressed appropriately in this hour.  We need to reclaim some of our values and instill in this “now” generation what once was of essence. (I could go on but I will stop here).

In the bible God says come how you are. I don’t know where you old fashioned people get the idea that you have to dress up for him. Come as youa re doesnt have to mean come sloppy, but if they are homeless…that may be how they would come. You all are saying you would dress up for queen elizabeth,you should dress up for God. That is nonsense. If I wanted to wear shorts and a top,I would. People are so judgemental,this just goes to show you.I wouldnt even want to be around people who feel as if Im trash for not dressing up. Because that shows their character. They are not so high above you,no one from the world is ever high above you. God is but he unlike man,doesnt judge you by what you wear. Im not saying you should come into a church with revealing attire. Acceptance, is more of what the world needs. You all treat it as if it is a crime to not dress up.Idress up when I feel to it,not to make someone else happy. I am a conservative girl too, so it is not like dressing casual is such a bad thing. Remember God loves YOU, not your clothes….

Good points, Rena.  It’s not always possible to judge someone’s intent by how they are dressed.  Someone can be dressed to the nines, and it can be due to pride or self-righteousness.  For other people it can be a sign of reverence.  Only God knows our hearts, and he’s much more concerned with our hearts than our outward appearance.

Religious or not, one thing I agree on is showing gratitude. I have to agree that this country is spoiled to where we can practically get anything we want to where we take things for granted, including ourselves. That is especially if you are a mommy with kids. But taking the time to look neat and clean maybe not with makeup all the time because I do not wear makeup all the time, you want to by presentable. I know that you are suppose to judge a book by its cover but we subconsciously do it anyway. Why do you think some people respect others while if looking at another person, he or she does not get a yes or no mam?

My interesting notice is that we spend time making sure our kids are well-dressed but we women seem to neglect ourselves a lot to where we do not care about ourselves anymore. I think a lot of women think down on themselves a lot. I know I do. But I strive to make sure that I look put together like I do not live in a pig pen.