Jennifer, you. Are. The. Bomb.

As someone who used to panic about this (not to mention the first time i went to Mass & someone grabbed my hand for the Our Father), this is so spot-on it’s not funny. When I was a girl, I didn’t want to sit at the edge of my family at Mass, lest I was forced to shake hands with more people I didn’t know.

I generally just shake hands with the people to my immediate right and left and anyone who offers.
My version of the Dodge is to hold a tissue under my nose and point to it when someone makes eye contact.

In spanish culture we usually shake hands and say: “La Paz esté contigo” while we are kissing each other (with the kiss of peace us San Pablo said).

We are more outogoing :)

As an Introvert, I’m super glad that our parish does not do the “sign of peace”. The priest wishes us peace, we wish him peace, and then the Agnus Dei starts. I give my husband a little squeeze and we move on. It’s perfect.

However, it throws me for a loop whenever I’m at another parish visiting. I always forget that other parishes do it.

As a fellow introvert- I love this!  This is my least favorite part of Mass.  When I was pregnant and more of a germophobe, I would immediately whip out the hand sanitizer afterwards and didn’t care who saw…

To avoid all of it, you can drop to your knees as the sign of peace begins and stay there for the Agnus Dei.  Not sure how I feel about this, but I’ve seen it often.

For the true introvert, there is always the Tridentine Mass which does not have this practice. If not, please also avoid high fives and climbing over pews to reach your home boy three aisles back.

This part of the mass is really distracting. It interrupts the Agnus Dei which follows, usually because some people want to greet all the other 200 parishioners or simply think that this part is more important than the Agnus Dei. When I was growing up we only gave a polite nod to the people directly next to us or close enough. We don’t have to worry about hand sanitizers or the thought of being rude to someone. God and only God should be the center of the Eucharist…

I am not an introvert, but I am often afflicted with sweaty palms at Mass and I am so embarrassed it is sometimes crippling. I have been known to go to the ladies’ room to avoid shaking hands. It’s a relief during cold season when I can fake a cold and just give out head nods and air waves.

I’ve seen many people fold their hands and simply nod and say “peace be with you”.  I often wave my hands around semi-frantically and say, “I’m sorry, we are sick - germs, germs”.  Or, I’ll grab a baby and with two full hands just make eye contact and say “peace”.  It’s always a relief when a certain priest celebrates and moves on through it without the exchange.

The whole tone of this column, as well as the specifics, is missing the point and the truth of this part of the Mass. There is a huge problem with the greeting, and it is not in any way addressed, in fact is reinforced, by this column: Many if not most Catholics think it’s just a friendly handshake and treat it as a social interaction, one of the worst effects of which is that it distracts us from the prayer before AND entering into the Lamb of God prayer that follows.

I am not an expert or a catechist but I do know that the Peace of Christ greeting is not intended to be from ME to you, but from Christ in me offering you His peace. It’s been completely misunderstood, secularized, and dumbed down. If someone has time to post what the Catechism says that would be great. I did not think Jennifer’s column helped us grow in understanding or faith and I believe this is sorely needed in regards to this action. It’s not social, it’s liturgical!!

I recently found out that the ‘sign of peace’ is actually optional and not mandatory.

I agree with Juan Diego, this is more of a distraction and most parishes use this opportunity to show how “hip” they are.  Hence the unnecessary length of greeting neighbors five pews back and forward and the ever extroverted/needy priest that walks down the aisle as a triumphant roman conqueror shaking everyone’s hand as if it were the New Hampshire primaries.

That said, we need less of this and more reverence in Mass.  Though I have to say, this is a great post for the bashful among us!

Right on, Tito. Please don’t apologize because you are on target! :)

I recognize the importance of sharing the peace and I am also glad when it’s over.

I have a simple solution. I DO NOT DO IT. I refuse to do the “Sign of Peace” orgy.

When I go to an OF Mass (Which is rarely), I stand there, head bowed, and eyes closed. I refuse to acknowledge and gestures.

It may be wrong, but I do not care. Do not like it? Throw me out.  I will get a Canon Lawyer.

Hilarious. Thank you for the peice. Funniest thing I`ve read on the subject yet. A lot of people don`t like the shaking hands deal. I was raised, (cradle Catholic) and loved the Tridentine Mass and in fact served
as an Alter Boy when I was young. I am familiar with the Latin and was also in the seminary at a time before the Novus Ordo Mass came about. I
don`t particularly like the Novus Ordo however, being devoted to my faith
I dealt with the changes. There will be in the future not to distant a new
Mass coming out of Rome that they are currently working on that will blend the best of both the Novus Ordo and the Tridentine Masses into a beautiful celebration of the Eucharist that your gonna love.

I SO wish I didn’t have to go through the sign of the peace.

There’s always the option of kneeling and silently praying, thus avoiding the whole unpleasant thing.

Then there are those who all but make out with their significant others during the kiss of peace. I think kissing between spouses and cheek kissing for relatives is fine, but some couples go a little overboard.

Mary Cracraft, you are correct on all your points. Unfortunately the explanations for all of this is very complicated and came about from some
misconceptions and purposeful distortiing of Post Conciliar VatII Documents. A lot of liberal, progressive leaders took many of the documents and abused the intent creating a sort of prostestinizing if you will of the Mass to accommodate other faiths and in the effort have gone way too far. To give you an example of what I mean, it was never meant
for VatII to authorize woman alter servers and the over use of Eucharistic
ministers. These were meant to be used ONLY in extreme cases. Some have even argued that dogma may have been changed, when if fact it was`nt.
Benedict XVI has been working hard to reign some of this in and Motus Propio, Summorum Pontificum followed with the clarification of Universae
Ecclesia was supposed to straighten a lot of this out, however, it all has been largely ignored. All this has been going on since the time of the Apostles and so all we can do is to set our sights at Mass and in our lives on the great gifts given to us by Jesus Christ and to always remember He is the reason, the real reason why we are at Mass, to recieve
Him in the Body and Blood in the Holy Sacrifice of the Alter. Pax

Wow, I’m surprised by all the distaste for the Sign of Peace.  I like it, probably because I was raised with it (just as I don’t like holding hands during the Lord’s Prayer, because I wasn’t raised with it). 

I think it is at the exact right time during the Mass, if we had it at the beginning, people would be apt to treat it as an icebreaker, if we had it at the end, people would never be quiet again. If we had it during the liturgy of the word, it would confuse the message - which is not necessarily applicable to the peace of the Lord. 

The perfect time to exchange a sign of peace is during a peaceful time of the Mass. Hopefully we’ll be able to reflect on this more come Advent when we’re saying ‘and with your spirit’.  Personally, I’d like to exchange smooches.

I do wonder though, if it is optional, as quite a few things are in the Liturgy (i.e. sprinkling with holy water, litany of the saints), why it seems so universal.

Jennifer - I love your blog, but I’m afraid there is some misinformation in what you’ve written today.

I like the sign of peace, when done appropriately and reverently.  Its not a time to greet your neighbor.

“If so inclined, you may feel free to include spontaneous salutations such as “hi” or “good morning,” but the Church does not require that you do so.”  - This just gives me the eebie-jeebies.  Remember - our focus at mass is GOD, not those around us.  Lets save the greetings and catching-up for after mass (and not in the sanctuary, please!)

“As for the sign of peace to be given, the manner is to be established by conferences of bishops in accordance with the culture and customs of the peoples. It is, however, appropriate that each person offer the sign of peace only to those who are nearest and in a sober manner.” (GIRM 82)

Here is a good summary from Catholic Answers:

http://forums.catholic.com/showthread.php?t=300671&highlight=sign+of+peace

Mike

Thanks for this amusing post, Jennifer.

To the person who suffers from sweaty palms:  I too suffer from extreme Hyper-hydrosis.  I am an extrovert, but my hands sweat so much, that I hold them down and they drip on the floor just prior to the shake. I am that guy who was forced to take SQUARE DANCING in GYM class (long ago) and contemplated self-amputation to avoid it.  I’m also the guy, who nervously wipes his hands on his pants ONE SECOND before shaking your hand and would rather be dead at that moment.

Thank you for the tip about going to the ladies room to avoid it.  As a man, I hadn’t thought to try that one, but it will be the last place they’d try to find me (ha ha)

HOWEVER…  to all: I love the idea that we acknowledge we are there as a community, all members of Christ’s mystical body and that we are offering HIS peace to each other.  If you think about it that way, it becomes easier.  Pull your head out of your…um…self for a moment and SUFFER, and SACRIFICE to wish peace to someone else! If need be, consider it penance.  We all need some of that!  (Hey if I can do it nicely, you can too.)

I am so glad our Pastor eliminated this years ago. It is a total, and unnecessary distraction—after the miracle of Transubstantion has taken place on the Altar. That is where our focus should be.

Secondly—this option has become almost mandatory everywhere.I do not mind volunteer actions—- but this option has become something we are forced to do.

I’m an introvert and really appreciate this column from that point of view.  And I appreciate that the practice is optional and from some points of view, perhaps, not entirely salutary.  However ... Let me add this ... there is a certain extended family member that I have always had problems with ... when attending Mass with this person, the Sign forces me to forgive, thereby potentially sparing me mortal sin in receiving communion unworthily ... so I’m a fan of the practice.  Wouldn’t mind making it better, though.

For Mr. Turner and all:  The Sign of Peace is an option left to the discretion of the priest.  Or, so it says in the GIRM.  You’ve got to wonder about the pastoral sensitivity of priests who impose this in parishes where it is not wanted.  In this case, it’s not peace that’s offered, but offence.  There’s no “have to”  or “obligation” surrounding this practice.  The Mass is still the Mass, as well as the laity’s participation, without it.  It had its origin in the Tridentine Rite when the priest and deacons would kiss to make sure that those offering the sacrifice were at peace with each other.  As the Mass is offered for all, the people of God included, then it is important for the celebrants to be at peace.  But the folks in the pews did nothing.  And, blissfully, it didn’t take that long and all were back in the right position to begin the Agnus Dei.  Ah, but this practice crept in after Vat-II.  It’s yet another example of clericalizing the laity.  Worse, it’s another example of making the congregation more important than the God-Man who is at the very center of our liturgy.
Naturally, I am one of those folks who hate this idiotic business right before—and as usually happens—and during the Agnus Dei.  Christ is being broken for us, and folks are still shaking hands and talking at the same time. 
But there is a ‘good’ side to the Sign of Peace.  At it’s best it tries to capture what Our Lord advised at Matthew 5:22-24.  Make peace with your brother BEFORE you offer your gift.  The Mass is the gift that is offered.  So, the peace business should happen before the Mass.  When I am Pope, I’m changing this silly positioning of the Sign of Peace.  We’ll do it before the entrance procession.  And, it’ll take a little longer.  I’ll send out some parish representative (since this is not a liturgical act) to say to the congregation:  “Welcome to so-and-so Parish.  I’m Whoever.  Let us all take a moment to introduce ourselves to the folks nearby and to welcome any new faces we see.  Also, if you need to, express your love and desire for reconciliation to your brothers and sisters.  Let’s serve the Lord without rancor.  The peace of Christ be with you all.  Let us offer each other a Sign of God’s Peace.”  Once the chatter, backslapping, and handshaking have stopped, the parish representative will cue the choir/organist and we can get on with the Holy Mass without distraction or irreverence.
But, I’m not Pope yet. 
Until then, at the ridiculously positioned Sign of Peace, I drop to my knees, cover my face, feign prayer, and my brothers and sisters leave me alone.  They hate it too, and so have never scolded me about it.  They also know that I prefer to show my love for them in more than words and gestures.  Meanwhile, they are used to going along with the latest liturgical fad.  They do their handshaking and waving as swiftly as possible so they can be ready to respond for the Agnus Dei.
It is a crime to make the People of God go through this nonsense.  Stick this nonsense somewhere else…after folding it four ways.

For all those who find the social interuption of an otherwise solemn
celebration unnecesary, distracting and not really relevant to the
liturgy of Consecration of Bread and Wine. Join me in the nearest
Tridentine Mass in your area and if there is`nt one, ask for it. The Holy
Father just issued a letter that states the Bishops are required to offer
it to any group that requests it. And for all those people at the Novus Ordos that I`ve attended that like to run out the door right after Communion, just remember who the first one was that left the last Supper.
            Pax Everyone

Oh, for pity’s sake, people. Jennifer is KIDDING here. It’s not a catechetical lesson. It’s not a chance go show how much more awesome the EF is. (And ignoring people when the priest has just asked you to do otherwise is being slyly disobedient in the name of being more extra-holy than the rest of us poor slobs who grew up w and love the OF Mass.)

Listen, take this as the light & humorous piece it’s supposed to be. And don’t be purposely rude and close your eyes or kneel at the wrong time to avoid doing what the priest tells you.

Anyone who’s introverted will “get” this for what it is. FUNNY.

Wouldn’t it be so much easier if we just didn’t shake hands?!

This is really funny, but mostly because we don’t do it anymore in my church.  If we were still doing it, I might not be as amused!  :)

I don’t do it when I attend the Novus Ordo Mass.  The reason being is that Our Lord is present on the altar and our focus should be on His Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity laying on the altar.  My focus is on Christ, right in front of me, not on those surrounding me.

Christine the soccer Mom. I agree and said so in an earlier post. I think
the article is hilarious. It seems however that it has struck a cord. People take their faith very seriously. I love Jennifer and think she has
a lot to offer but there is a great division in the Church between the
progressives and the conservatives. I`ve seen it bubble up in many other
blogs and articles where the back and forth continued for days . Sadly,
Vat II seems to have caused more problems than anyone could have anticipated. Pope Benedict is working hard to correct that. Lets face it
Christine, wars have been fought over religions and when you change long standing traditions, your gonna ruffle some feathers.

What about the classic ‘peace sign’ circa 1960s?

I was taught that the Sign of Peace was a symbol of us reconciling with each other, especially those close to us, so that we might approach the Eucharist without harboring resentment toward any other. Sometimes the people I came to church with are annoying.  Sometimes the people around me at Mass are annoying.  The Sign of Peace really helps me receive Christ with a clean heart.  He wants me to love these annoying people like He does.
Isn’t there something in the Bible about reconciling with your neighbors before approaching the altar?

Oops, somehow I missed the post a few above mine.  Thanks Magistra Bono.  It’s Matthew 5:22-24.  Make peace with your brother before offering your gift.

Jennifer, actually, this post is like straight out of Chapter 6 of “The Socially Awkward Person’s Guide to the Mass,” by Jennifer Fulwiler. You should check it out.

I’d also add: Don’t take it personally if someone refuses to do the sign of peace. They aren’t dissing you. They just object to the practice.

My pastor does not do it.  Fr. Groeschel no longer does it.  Rock on, padres.

And I heard Cdl. Arinze say: if it is done at the mass you are attending, offer the sign of peace to the person on your immediate right and your immediate left and that’s it.  Works for me.

If you blow your nose conspicuously during the Our Father and retain the tissue or handkerchief alongside your nose, people will voluntarily avoid reaching for your hand, as though you are too far away for them to reach.  This is a form of lying, unless you really have to blow your nose.  So work up some tears that will cause you to have to blow your nose.  You might be able produce tears during the homily if the words particularly inspire you, or perhaps make you feel guilty, so you’ll have to retain the mood all the way up to the Sign of Peace.

Good grief. Some people truly are born without a funny bone.

Thanks, Jennifer. Enjoyable peace. ;)

The sign of peace…..liturgical equivalent of nails on a chalkboard (up there with weird hand movements at the “and also with you”)

Wow! There are some seriously humor-impaired people commenting here. If we Catholics can’t laugh at ourselves and our quirks and foibles… what a sad world!

Jesus said: (Matt 5:32-24) “If you bring your gift to the altar,  and there recall that your brother has anything against you, leave your gift at the altar, go first to be reconciled with your brother . . .”
Where the “greeting of peace” is in the current OF mass is not appropriate.  If we have to have that in the Mass, it belongs at the beginning, near the penitential rite. And it should be something applying to us with others with whom we have had difficulties - family members, neighbors, fellow workers. Not just people who happen to be sitting near us in Church.
Given that shaking hands is a good way to spread bacteria, holding a handkerchief is a good way to avoid shaking hands with others.
TeaPot562

Oops!  That’s Matt.5:23-24, not Matt: 5: 32-24.  Sorry for poor keyboarding.
TeaPot562

I’m one of those cranky traddies, so I try to minimize the handshaking as much as possible. If I had my way I’d not shake anybody’s hands, but they say you catch more flies with honey, so…....
Still, an absolute minimum as far as I’m concerned.

I definitely am an introvert, especially during mass. I go to mass to focus on God and spend time in prayer. I am able to appreciate the community aspect, as we are all gathering to pray together. Yet, I don’t think the “peace be with you” hand-shake is needed. I think nodding and eye contact while verbally saying peace would be better and would still provide an opportunity to “offer one another a sign of Christ’s peace.” I have been raised Catholic and understand that this gesture isn’t meant to be social and it meant to convey God’s peace…but it is distracting, makes many people worry about germs or focus on sweaty hands instead of preparing for communion, the most important part of mass. I appreciate you starting a conversation about this and doing so in a fun, light-hearted manner. Thanks!

OR
You can just fold your hands for the Our Father, recognizing it’s NOT about your relationship with the person standing next to you AND
simply kneel, prayerfully, when they start grabbing one another (aka You want a piece of me).

The grabbing, extensive greeting, etc. during the Mass are not Catholic gestures.  They are protestantations.
They are NOT part of the Mass.

One day after Mass, the woman next to me in the pew actually thanked me for NOT trying to hold hands.

The “Sign of Peace” has been very confusing.  I wonder myself if it is a misinterpretation of Vatican II.  I always felt it broke the “flow” of my union with God.  Mass is focused on God, not the people you feel you might offend if you don’t give them a wave or a nod. At my most reverent parish it’s the only thing I find offensive.  We do not shake hands, but nod or say “Peace be with you”.  If this is not a required act, why do it?  If you ask me it shatters my peace.

I DO NOT LIKE all of the commotion and interruption caused by extending the sign of peace to everyone within reach. But I REALLY DO NOT LIKE all of the extras that come with it: whatever remains on the hands of those I can’t help but see, who have cleaned matter from the corner of their eyes, tended to their noses (with or without benefit of a tissue that has had too many demands placed on it), cleaned wax from their ears, excessively scratched their scalps, sneezed or coughed into their hands…....do you get the picture? What is the benefit of this relatively new practice? Can anyone concentrate on the Mass when this is going on? Please, if there’s a priest out there reading this, HELP!!

I wonder if Pope Benedict’s Common Rite will include the sign of peace? I presume it will as it allows the faithful to exercise Charity

The kiss of peace, which actually did/does exist in the Tridentine rite at the Solemn Mass, has never quite done what it is supposed to do in the New Mass/ordinary form. Here’s a brief but useful article on the subject: http://catholictradition.blogspot.com/2008/03/by-michael-foley-rite-of-peace-which.html

A very sobering and entertaining piece about a very unnerving liturgical innovation (to one who, like yourself, is introverted—no, let me correct myself: You are introverted; I am socially retarded). And yet, is the greeting of peace really an innovation? It seems to originate in a very ancient liturgical tradition involving the clergy, but has been adapted and extended to the laity.  But I could be wrong.

@Melanie and others who think there’s something wrong with those of us who object to to the content of this column, object to the abuse and distraction that constitute the way the greeting is typically implemented, and fail to see the column as humorous: to be really open with you, now my dander is getting up. Listen, if she’s kidding around,it’s not really very funny, is it? Not when the mispractice is frankly really distorting the Mass. I am proud and touched by all those who expressed concern at how the abuse of this practice takes us away from the focus on the just- consecrated Eucharist and turns attention to touchy- feely glad- handing. I think our concerns might be an opportunity for a fruitful pause to consider the possible validity of what we’re trying to express. Don’t you think our concerns are justified? It really isn’t funny. It’s a tragedy. I wouldn’t object to humor if it clearly were humor, and combined real teaching about what the gesture is and what’s appropriate—from the Catechism, for ex,—not “I like it” or ” I don’t like it.” the Mass isn’t ours to play with. It’s a representation of the worship that goes on before the Throne of God in Heaven. That’s solemly joyful, not humorous. Or so I believe.

I’m an introvert also and it’s a sacrifice to take part in this. However, we are all part of the Body Of Christ - The Catholic Church - and I think it’s good we are reminded that we’re one of many. We need The Church and I think a greeting reminds us of this need.

I’m not “required” or “obliged” to do anything, within four feet, same pew, front, or back.  By the time I finished this article I thought it was about an aerobics class!

Jesus washed his disciples feet,a simple handshake should not be below us.

Mark—Christ was not forced to wash feet, and that “simple handshake” is forced. Should we not have a choice
in this optional matter? We don’t…

The oscumum pacis is a highly stylized kiss of peace wherein the ministers of the Mass either grasp the other’s arms or place their hands on the other’s shoulders and bend slightly forward each inclining their head slightly to the right as if to kiss the cheek. This action is then taken to and exchanged by other clergy present in the sanctuary.
As to our sign of peace, the current practice in the Maronite and some other Eastern rites is for the celebrant to enfold the hands of the servers. They in turn do the same for the aisle person in each pew. They, in turn, do the same for the person immediately next to them and so on. In this manner each congregant receives the greeting from the celebrant in persona Christi. This is much like passing on the flame from the Paschal candle on Holy Saturday.
It seems to me our adoption of this Eastern custom could render our sign of peace much more palatable and meaningful. That is, if the pastor insists on exercising the option at all.

Mary Cracraft and Thomas J. Trotter, thank you for sharing that information about the Sign of Peace and how some people have taken the Conciliar documents out of context.  Thank you especially for pointing out that the Sign of Peace, if one is to have it at all, is from Christ within us/acting through us to our neighbor, and not from us as individuals.  I agree that it’s not a time to be striking up a brief conversation, especially if it distracts us from the Agnus Dei.

I guess that I’m an odd duck:  I attend both the Novus Ordo and the Extraordinary Form.  I found a parish in South Philly that offers the latter every Sunday.  I have now attended the Novus Ordo in the vernacular and in Latin (the Basilica of Sts. Peter and Paul in downtown Philadelphia offers it every first and third Sunday of the month) and the Traditional Latin Mass.  I like ‘em both, really, but I’m finding that I like the Traditional Latin Mass just a wee bit better, because it’s helped me to understand what goes on at Mass far better.

But Ms. Fulwiler, I did laugh at the “Fulwiler Dodge.” ;)

I’ve had ADD all my life and once was caught by the “sign of peace” while definitely not paying attention.  I turned around and very naturally kissed and extremely shocked woman behind me right on the lips then turned back around.  Oh my.  The poor woman.  The rest of the Mass I spent wishing I was anywhere else.

Since the inception of this practice years ago I have refused to participate. I have wished surrounding “Happy Clappy Liturgical Abusers” a Happy Chanukkah and love the puzzled looks I get. My wife gets embarrassed but so what. The Happy Clappers now know to avoid foisting their self worshiping practices on me. Sometimes after Mass,  I enlighten their spiritually bankrupt lives with a moving sermon they so desperately need.

Be rude and crude in a Christian manner and these types will either leave you alone or ask you to serve as their spiritual consultant.

It may not be my favorite part of the mass, but I am certainly glad I have never had someone outright chastise me or refuse to wish me peace. Sheesh. I think unity is more important for the time being than making every part of the Mass into your own personal statement. At least while in Mass itself.

This.is.AWESOME. 

Many Protestant churches have a portion of the service where you greet those around you (we are lifelong Protestants, tho about to join the RCC), and I (being an introvert) ALways got so nervous having to make small talk chit chat with people!  The plus-side of having five young kids is, I have always had some sort of way to act distracted.  :)  Finding something to correct your child on may or may not be a strategy I have employed.  :)

@Brianna:
Welcome!
The thing is, the big festive peace grabbing is NOT a traditional Catholic thing.  It is a protestant influence into the liturgy.  It takes away from our focus on Christ.  If you are uncomfortable with it, simply do what many of us do: don’t participate.  (I drop to my knees and assume a praying stance and try to think about the Eucharist.)

The Byzantine rtite doesn’t have a sign of peace- so I am always sort of surprised when I am at a Roman rite Mass :)

Our challenge for an introvert…the coffee hour that can turn into 2 hours after Divine Liturgy…sometimes I would rather sit by myself and read a book

I write as a Church of England priest of “catholic” persuasion. We have the Peace after the Ministry of the Word and before the Offertory Procession. This neatly avoids interrupting our appreciation of the Lord’s presence on the Altar and “limbers up” the congregation before the collection is taken as well. Though those allergic to both the Peace and parting with money could still make a move to the “ladies room” or equivalent - double whammy !!

This is a little bit off thread, but I couldn’t help but identify with the commenters above who dread the sign of peace, not because they don’t want to extend a hand to their neighbor, but because of their embarrassment over sweaty hands.  I suffered from this emotionally debilitating condition for years, but finally discovered a cream called Dehydral, which is sold through candadrugs.com.  It has changed my life for the better, and has truly been an answer to prayer.  i hope this is of some help to you!

Peace.

Correction:  that’s canadadrugs.com, not “candadrugs.com”

I appreciates Jennifer’s humor on the subject.

Paragraph 72 of Redemptionis Sacramentum states: “It is appropriate ‘that each one give the sign of peace only to those who are nearest and in a sober manner.’”  I shake immediately left.  I shake immediately right.  Fold hands and bow head.  If someone sticks their hand into my space, I’ll of course politely return the gesture.  I think the key here really is to keep it sober and limited.

Then bam!  It’s the Agnus Dei!

I used to suddenly have to blow my nose every week after the Our Father when I was younger… haha.

Why did those who altered the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass place the handshake right after the Consecration? When Our Lord has become present on the altar, NOTHING should distract us from Him! I REFUSE to turn my back on Jesus in order to shake hands with ANYONE!

Who else but SATAN would want Catholics to be distracted from the King of Kings and Lord of Lords during the re-presentation of the Sacrifice of Calvary in order to engage in a ridiculous, phony, coerced show of handshaking?

Satan must be laughing his demonic head off at every single “Sign of Peace”!

It should be done away with as well as hand holding at the Our Father.

Get rid of this nuisance—-which was optional from the start, and took on a life of its own.. And NOBODY, no rubrics ever sanctioned raising the hands in imitation of the priest, nor are we required to hold hands during the Our Father. I’d like to know who started that nonsense.
I avoid such parishes so as not to be infringed upon by people in error.

One of the reasons I don’t like going to daily Mass is that they always have them in a super small chapel, where you are forced to sit close together with everyone, which makes it hard when you don’t wish to hold hands during the Our Father and everyone else is. If I can find a church that has daily Mass in its regular large church, then I don’t mind going, because I won’t be forced to hold hands during the Our Father, as I pick out a deserted place away from everyone else. Mass should be about the Eucharist, not on the blonde next to you that wants to hold your hand.

this crazy tactic has not been a blessing—just a hinderance, and should be stopped.
how about—the hand holders, hand shakers, kissers—on one side and the non agreeable (to this) on the other…

I read this briefly in my tiny iPhone so I want to say sorry if I missed that it was a satire, Jennifer. But obviously we really need straight teaching on this—good priests who won’t perpetrate liturgical abuses such as ” sign of peace”  glad-handing , raising hand in imitation of the priest, koombayah hand holding during the Lords Prayer…and ALL OF US NEED TO READ THE CATECHISM AND THE GIRM and learn our faith!  :)

When the “Sign of Peace” was first introduced it was ‘shake hands with the person on either side of you’. [quietly and respectfully] Unfortunately the parishioners got ‘all’ into it and before you know it married couples were kissing and they were extending the “peace” to all the people they could reach. [noisy] It ended up being a distraction from the Mass. If done properly and quietly, it is not a distraction.
On the funny side, one Sunday I went home to my non-Catholic husband and complained about the “Sign of Peace” saying that people actually hurt my knuckles and it was painful and I did not have arthritis at the time.  He told me that I did not know “how” to shake hands and proceeded to show me. I now know how to shake hands and not have my knuckles destroyed.

When I moved to another State, my friend always wore gloves in church saying that her hands were always cold, even in summer.  ;o)

I know you wrote the article in jest, but it isn’t it sad that we are forced to do something many would rather not do? I know of a lady that will shake hands—then whip put her hand sanitizer and wipe her hands.

Let’s take a look at the “Tridentine” Mass and see where the sign of peace is and what the rubrics say, shall we?  After the “Per ipsum” that ends the Canon comes the Pater Noster, the Libera Nos and the Fraction [breaking] of the Host; then there is the commingling of the Sacred Body and Blood, followed by the Agnus Dei.  Then come the three prayers for Holy Communion, the first of which is called the Prayer for Peace.  It begins “O Lord Jesus Christ, who saidst to Thine Apostles:  Peace I leave with you, My peace I give unto you…”  (It’s one of the few prayers the original ICEL got mostly right when translating it, so you undoubtedly recognize it.)  Right after that prayer, “in SOLEMN MASSES the kiss of peace is now given; the Celebrant kisses the Altar, then saluting the Deacon, says: Peace be with thee. [emphasis in original]”  The deacon responds: “And with thy spirit.”  Notice what the fine print (explanatory material) says about this action:  “The position in the Mass of this sign of fraternal charity is characteristic.  Before receiving the Body of our Lord, Christians should show that they are at peace with their brethren.” [The Daily Missal and Liturgical Manual, London:Baronius Press, MMVIII, p. 953-959] Note three things—first, this happens only at solemn Masses; second, only the priest and deacon exchange the kiss of peace; third, this is an act of charity and Christians should show that they are at peace with each other.  I do not care at all for the overblown happy-clappy sign of peace as practiced in most parishes by most parishioners; I much prefer the omit-it option.  However, the most effective way I’ve found to avoid shaking hands is to keep mine firmly held together, and to bow slightly but obviously in the direction of the person on my right and/or my left, and say “peace be with you”.  Then I return my attention front and center to the altar and the action that is supposed to happen next there.  Oh, and I also take a few seconds after the greeting and response to close my eyes, bow my head, and pray, “God, please grant peace to that soul here who is most in need of peace.”  When I led the singing AND we had a priest who apparently didn’t care for too much of the glad-handing, I would begin the Agnus Dei (yes, in Latin!) as soon as he picked up the Sacred Host for the fraction rite, and while there were some people who insisted on continuing to keep spreading luv’n'joy’n'peace, the vast majority of them eventually cut short their greetings and came back to the sacred actions of Holy Mass as soon as the chant was begun.

Why did every parish remove the altar-rail,if it was not ordered by the holy see? ( or at least most of them did.)  It is certaintly much more reverend to receive holy communion kneeling.  Lets just start and go for it.  Thank you and God Bless!
Elisabeth

Funny Jennifer!  But makes good points.  Our church world seems upside down.  We remove altar rails but add hand holding, hand shaking,hand clapping etc.  I’m not anti-social but I DO want to focus on the Mass not my pew mates.  Too many church goers, even at daily mass, think it’s about greeting everyone they know.  It’s difficult when you don’t blend in.  I just try to use common sense and do as little of the glad-handing as possible, either by seat selection, posture or not turning around.  I do pray that we get back to practices that encourage proper reverence vs social posturing.  How did we get so far from our TLM roots?  This is not a joke—There are some people that I avoid sitting with because they will reach around to persons in another row, front or back, when I’m next to them because they know I don’t hold hands during the Our Father.  I say live and let live.  They are into the socializing of prayer and I’m not.  But it is awkward with arms extended around me, front and/or back, as I keep my hands folded in front.  So I resort to set selection as much as possible!

I have a strong belief that this so called sign of peace will be changing very soon as it is simply a distraction.  Of course we are attending Holy Mass to worship together as part of our faith community but the emphasis has become too much of a distraction and simply waters down the complete meaning of worship!  All too often this sign of peace becomes a major focal point and I really believe it would be better to greet our brothers and sisters before Mass begins.

This is awesome ...

I would just like to add that in rare cases, the sign of peace can be legitimately avoided.  For example, if extremely moved during the preceding prayers (most often during the Consecration), and weeping excessively, one can sink to one’s knees and be excused from the sign of peace.  This exception also applies if the weeping has ceased but because you did not have a tissue you had to wipe tears and snot away with your hand - even though you are now calmer, you can still sink to your knees and be excused.

So much to do about such a small thing. Remember, we are celebrating as a community. It is perhaps a good thing to remind those too involved with their own sense of self to break off, quickly, with a simple smile and word of acknowledgment toward the person sitting right next to you. Many times I have come to Mass with a great deal of worry and a sense of isolation associated with those worries. How easily that feeling is lifted, slightly, with a meeting of eyes and a smile. Please, get over yourselves, you who pretend to ignore me (OK, that’s your right, I understand, really I do) or worse, shake your head no with a grim look. I don’t reach out to grab your hand unless you extend your own and I will respect your personal space. I don’t use this time to socialize or chatter. It take 5 sec. people.

Elaine,
When I go to Mass, I do not go to socialize.  I do not go to be entertained.  The Mass is NOT about US.  The Mass is NOT about the congregation.  It is NOT about the musicians.  It is NOT about the Priest…..
Do you know WHAT the Mass is about?  Do you know WHY we go to Mass?

better than all this: avoid this altogether, and go to the Tridentine Mass.

shaking hands- more of the ‘60s feminist stuff- been there, done that

I would prefer no hand shaking at all.  It is very distracting and seems to take away from the sacredness of the Eucharist.

We briefly attended a Coptic Rite Catholic Church, where shoes are left in the narthex, and the men are seated on the left of the nave, while the women, with heads veiled, are seated on the right.  At the sign of peace, the lovely Copt woman next to me gently cupped my face in her hands, and drew my face toward hers while pronouncing greetings of peace to me in what I presume was Egyptian Arabic.  I looked around, and all the other ladies were doing the same, so I then cupped her face in my hands, saying, “May the peace of Christ be with you.” 
How do ya like *them* apples?!  Hahaha!  ;-)

I do appreciate the humor, Jennifer.  In our small rural parish, it’s even worse at funerals.  Often there are many people present who rarely come to Mass, so they seize the Sign of Peace as an opportunity to catch up with friends and family they haven’t seen in a while. 
I play the piano, and one priest told me to just go ahead and start with the Agnus Dei, playing a short introduction and singing loudly into a microphone until people stop chattering.  It works well enough, except at the funerals, where they just keep talking and hugging and hand-shaking.  Then I started getting complaints—with only a short introduction, “there isn’t time for me to greet all the people I want to greet”...  But that’s not what the Sign of Peace is about!  We have tried to educate the people, with little effect.
There are some people who do offer a 60s-style “peace sign” with two fingers to those too far away to shake hands with.  I remember what the people were like who were waving that sign around in the 60s, and I cringe to see it at Mass.  Also, as a historian of sorts, I always associate the two-finger V with the Victory sign during WW II.

There is, by the way, a historical reference to a kiss of peace being exchanged with lay persons during the Middle Ages.  Thomas Becket, a year or two before he was martyred, concelebrated a Christmas season Mass at which he knew King Henry II would be present as the senior lay person.  The custom was apparently for the highest-ranking celebrant to exchange a kiss of peace with the highest-ranking layman.  Thomas wanted to find out if Henry had been sincere in his offer of reconciliation—and got his question answered when Henry avoided the kiss of peace from him.

C.M.:
It just doesn’t matter.  Regardless of the liturgy being a regular Mass or Requiem….. IT ISN’T ABOUT US.
The problem is the protestant-style and mentality….
The popular glad-handing peace-sharing ritual is totally protestant and completely shifts the attention away from the Holy SACRIFICE of the Mass, to US.

Catholics are forever trying to justify, tolerate, and accept the protestant innovations.  Give it up.  If you want to be protestant and praise God as a protestant, the go be protestant.  If you want to be Catholic. Authentically Catholic, and enjoy to awesome full fruitfulness of the faith, the seek out what authentic Catholicism is, and what sustained the faith for over 2000 years, and BE CATHOLIC.

Mass is NOT about us.  Funerals are NOT about us.  Funerals are NOT a celebration of the decedent.  Learn your faith.

If you are Catholic, BE Catholic.  If you don’t want to be Catholic, please don’t try to change the faith to meet your likes.

It is time to suppress the “sign of peace.”

The main reason has been alluded above - it reinforces the idea that the Mass Is All About Us.  The liturgy needs to be God-centered, not man-centered.

The sign of peace is a part of the Roman Catholic tradition of recognizing that Christ is among his people during the celebration of the Most Holy Sacrafice of the Mass, the Eucharist. This ritual would not be a part of the Mass unless authorized by the Pope. The Pope is Christ’s representative on earth and is given direction by the Holy Spirit. It is uncharitable to speak against the Holy Spirit, especially in something so petty as a hand shake amongst brothers and sisters who are also celebrating Mass.

Just because it distracts YOU, don’t try to put on a cloak of anything but love. Proclaiming yourself “Catholic” and then despising people who love God is not Christian. God is love and if you expect things to go YOUR way all the time YOU will be disappointed greatly. I will say an OUR FATHER for you and hope that you understand that it is God’s will and not our own that will be done.