Every time Lent rolls around, I find that I actually enjoy the opportunity to deny myself worldly comforts in order to focus solely on spiritual nourishment. I appreciate the simple beauty of this penitential time, and joyfully embrace the chance to turn away from the pleasures of the world and focus on what really matters.
For about twenty days. And then I’m over it.
This year, for example, I decided to make the small sacrifice of giving up candy. The day after Ash Wednesday was the first time I found myself tempted, and my thought process was something like this:
Mmmmm, that box of Nerds that my toddler is eating looks delicious! I’m sure she wouldn’t notice if I…oh, wait, I gave up candy for Lent. Well, as I watch her enjoy this food, the tiny amount of suffering I experience will give me something to offer up as an act of penance for my sins. I can also use this time to meditate on what Christ has suffered for us. Indeed, what a wonderful opportunity this will be to detach from the hollow pleasures of the world.
Last night, twenty-something days later, I found myself tempted once again. And this time my reaction was more like this:
Mmmmm, that candy looks delicious! Oh. Wait. Is it STILL Lent?! Does this never end? I WANT THE HOLLOW PLEASURES OF THE WORLD BACK!
In other words: Around the halfway point of Lent, I stopped getting anything out of it. When Ash Wednesday first rolls around each year, fasting and penance actually sound good to me. First of all, change is always invigorating. It’s fun to enter a different season of the year, to break out of the routine and do something new. Also, I often feel mentally and physically bloated after the decadence of the Christmas season, and for selfish reasons alone I look forward to simplifying my eating habits and my life in general. After letting the pendulum swing too far in the direction of indulgence during the holidays, it’s natural to let the pendulum swing back the other way for a while.
But then, a few weeks in, the Christmas season long forgotten, nothing about Lent sounds good for selfish reasons anymore. Concepts like penance and detachment have grown stale. I miss the things I’ve given up, and no longer have the rush that comes with a change in routine to act as a counterbalance to the discomfort that my little acts of penance cause me.
That is why this week, after the fourth Sunday of Lent, is when Lent really begins for me.
Each year at this juncture of the liturgical calendar, I face a crossroads: I can drag my feet now that the personal payoff is gone for me, gritting my teeth and holding on by my fingernails until Easter. Or I can realize that this is the moment when I can begin to understand this season. Now that my opportunities for selfishness are gone, my sacrifices can finally be about nothing more than deeper union with Christ. The season may have been in full swing for weeks now, but in terms of the potential for real personal transformation, Lent has only just now begun.
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Thank you - I needed this! Hearing you articulate it has made me realise it’s not just me going through exactly the same thoughts and feelings!
....sigh. No online shopping for me today then.(Thanks!)
I have forgotten what is was my family and I gave for lent….... I don’t even know if I did it. Television? No…. that was just the first idea. Procrasination? No…..that wasn’t it.
This is bad. Oh, well. I’ll choose something new, just for myself. COMPLAINING! I will no longer complain. I will also….[I’ll keep this one to myself! hint: they go hand in hand].
Hey, today is a FEAST DAY!! St. Joseph! Yes, you heard me right. that The priest is in festive garments. You know what that means sister. I’m starting on a cake right now.(Can you guess what I gave up?) This morning I turned to my daughter Sophia, and said “It’s St. Joseph’s feast day, you know what that means—Oh yeah.”—then I remembered. She gave up being mean to her brother Blaise for Lent. She giggled wickedly. Not kidding. (“Taste the rainbow” Lol)
I’m going through the exact same thing! I had to restrain myself from ripping open a package of bacon with my teeth and eating it raw. (-____-’)
It’s about getting out of denial for me. As long as I can choose anything I want of legitimate pleasers, I can “escape” things about my sinfulness that need attention. Lent starts with me feeling deprived of what I “gave up” and then… watch how the focus changes from mere frustrated appetite to “here is a part of my life as a Christian that seriously needs acknowledgment, attention, penitence and repair.” We don’t do Lent for God Who needs nothing for Himself out of our sacrifices. Lent serves us by helping us to approach God’s intention for our best selves - the selves He created. It is up to us to fulfill that Divine potential… or not.
Seconded.
anna lisa, that made me laugh! Love the name Blaise!
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I admit, I didn’t give anything up for Lent, as having to go back to work full time on the night shift unexpectedly seemed like enough sacrifice to me. And having 2 kids under age 2 seemed justifiable enough reasons NOT to give up chocolate or caffiene. Reading this post reminds me “Who am I to determine what ‘enough sacrifice’ is? Did Jesus say ‘Okay Dad, that’s enough sacrificing for this trek up to the cross, let’s skip out on the last few lashes of the whip, eh?’” So this is my pledge: I will give up chocolate and caffiene for the rest of Lent and my real sacrifice will be not taking out my “drug withdrawals” on my children and husband :)
I was just about to go eat a bunch of chips, when I read the first half of the first sentence of your article. My thoughts went just like this:
“Awww! Lent? WHYYYYY?????...Oh man!...Oh. Right. Ahem. Lovvve youuuu!”
Yep! Lent starts now!
Yesterday at mass, father reminded us that when each of us struggle with 40 days of sacrifices, it is a call to remember the saving grace of God.
I was tempted by an Oreo cookie yesterday. I opened the package for my sick child and gave him two cookies. I went back to the almost full package and thought, what would one cookie hurt? I’m starving because I missed lunch. I picked a cookie up and pondered it. Remembering my meditation of earlier in the day, I asked myself, “Do you love Jesus or this cookie?” No brainer…I put the cookie down uneaten.
Thank you for another great post, Jennifer. When Lent begins, I think, 40 days, that’s not so long. At the halfway point, I always think this is the longest 20 days of my life. I don’t think I can make it. But you are right. Lent starts now.
I really needed to read this! I hit the Lenten wall last week and only on Sunday when I realized it was Gaudete Sunday did I get a renewed sense of Lenten purpose. Halfway there!
Sorry, I meant Laetare Sunday! Oh Lord, you do know how to humble me!
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