I always threaten my kids by telling them I plan to be one of those cranky, demanding old ladies.
I used to work in a nursing home—believe me when I tell you that I know about cranky, demanding old ladies.
But I know about happy ones too.
A recent study shows that happy old people are more common than our modern world would have us think. I mean, aren’t youth and beauty everything? Apparently not.
“Among key findings and conclusions:
—About 35% of respondents reported a lot of worry through age 50.
—Feelings of well-being may improve when children leave home because of reduced family conflict and fewer worrisome concerns.
—People worry less about money and about having to pay for health care as they age.
—Women scored higher than men on a measure of overall well-being, but not on a happiness score or one gauging enjoyment of life.
So why are older people on average happier and less stressed than younger people? The authors say it may be as simple as this—with age comes increased wisdom and emotional intelligence.”
I can buy that. Of course it’s impossible to make generalizations when it comes things as complicated as “happiness” and a “state of well-being.” But even in my (almost) 38 years I have experienced the peace of mind and heart that can come from finally getting comfortable in your own skin and gaining confidence in your own decisions.
I think moms are particularly vulnerable to the kind of anxiety and unhappiness that comes from lacking confidence in their own abilities. So many young moms I know (and I did it too) look for “experts” to tell them how to do things “right” but fail to recognize that when it comes what’s best for their children, they are the experts.
With age and experience comes an increased ability to determine what matters and—perhaps even more importantly—what does not. I meet up with my young mom self in my mind sometimes, and she never fails to make me laugh. What was all that fretting about sleep routines and sanitizing pacifiers?
In lots of ways, I’m still figuring this motherhood thing out, but I have enough experience to know that life is good on the other side of this letting other people’s expectations and opinions make you crazy.
Here’s to you, happy old people! I can’t wait to get all the way there.
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Danillle, you are right. Though you are long way to my age (71), old age is the best time of life. After one has gone through the duties of bringing up a family and moulding your children into dependable, virtuous and emotionally balance young adults, the coming years are welcomed with joj. It is at this age when one discovered the real meaning of life. It is life lived in friendship with God and man. When you are able to take care of yourself with a modest source of sustainance, the life devoted to Prayer and Sacraments is most fulfilling. Being a member of your Parish Organization according to you ability is also very rewarding. The apex of my life is being a member of the Eucharistic Divine Mercy. At this age you greet each new day with excitement, gratitude and live it in the company of God in prayers for your loved ones, the country, our Holy Mother Church led by our Holy Father. We also pray for the poor, the sick, the dying and those lost in sin and those who have strayed from mother Church and in a very special way to the Holy Souls in Purgatory.
Another joy at this age is watching my grandchildren aged between 17 and 12 growing up to be well rounded and God-fearing young adults. I can assure all on this Website that old age is the best gift God can grant you and which you must share with others.
I’m 60 and I’ve never been more satisfied with my life, ministry, teaching, research, writing, public speaking, house renovations, garden, family and friends.
Hang in there, girl! As long as you have good health, life gets better.
I do not know if I qualify as “old people” yet at 62, but I am much more at peace than I was even a few years ago, and we still have a 17 year old at home! Christ’s peace to all you great moms (and dads, of course)!
This reflection is, as always, so wise, Danielle! I always appreciate hearing your thoughts. I am still a fairly young mother (30), but I already feel so much more comfortable than when my first child was born almost four years ago for exactly the reasons that you talk about in this blog entry. Reading _Mom to Mom, Day to Day_ helped quite a bit, so thank you! Here is a related testimony from a dear friend of mine and partner in ministry (Catechesis of the Good Shepherd) who is in her early 60s: “Now [meaning over age 60] is when you do your best work!” I am looking forward to it, if God grants me that “best gift” of old age that your earlier commenter referred to!
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