Money and Marriage

My fiancé and I are planning on getting married this spring. We both have some credit card debt and he has a student loan. Neither of us knows much about managing finances. Do you have any recommendations?

It's good that you're considering this area well before your wedding. Unfortunately, statistics show that disputes over money are among the primary causes of divorce in our country. By preparing to properly manage your finances now, you're eliminating one of the key problems for most marriages.

Here are a number of steps I encourage you to take:

E Get your spiritual life in order. You'll be amazed how this directly impacts your finances.

E Determine who will handle the basic financial duties, and focus on making finances an area of good communication.

E Create a financial plan — also called a budget — for the first year of your marriage.

E Learn how to manage your checkbook. E Discuss the use and misuse of credit. Let me share the contrasting stories of two young couples I know. You'll quickly see the difference proper money management makes.

The first couple didn't consider ahead of time the impact finances would have on their relationship. They entered marriage with $17,000 in credit card debt and $6,000 in student loans. They also had a 2-year-old born out of wedlock.

You can imagine the pressures they're facing. They're both working to have enough resources to cover their pre-existing debt, yet the wife would like to stay home fulltime with her child. While they're doing the best they can, finances will continue to be a sore spot in their marriage for at least a couple of years.

Contrast this with the second couple, who took time before the marriage to develop a financial plan. They set a standard of living that depended solely on his income because they wanted to start a family right away and they wanted mom to stay home fulltime. While this may sound easy, it's not. We all find it difficult to make a sacrifice today to achieve a greater good tomorrow. But as this young wife recently said, she can't imagine giving up the peace and joy of being home fulltime with her children — now two daughters.

So take the time now to develop a budget for your first year of marriage. In addition, develop a plan to pay down your consumer credit as quickly as you can. It's even possible you might want to delay the wedding until the debts are either eliminated, or at least reduced to a more manageable level.

Finally, be careful with your spending on the wedding, reception, honeymoon and first home. Many young couples fall into the trap of overspending and digging a deep financial hole.

See if you can locate a mentor couple who will review your budget on a monthly basis. In the event you can't find another couple, ask your parents, pastor or a friend. This will set the stage for effective financial planning and communication on money.

God love you!

Phil Lenahan is executive director of Catholic Answers.

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