Top 12 Incontrovertible Truths about The March for Life
A dozen things to know before you go
1) Once you make your way into Washington D.C., do NOT be concerned with praying or singing too loud. You are a pro-lifer in Washington D.C., nobody can see you or hear you. We are like ninjas, whether we want to be or not. Invisible to all.
2) Layers. Lots o'layers. I don't know why but the March for Life seems to almost always be held on one of the most brutally cold or nasty days of the year. I think it's God testing our resolve. Perhaps we should implore the Supreme Court that next time it wants to remove one of our most sacred rights, it do so in a warm month. #justsayin'
3) Do not try to make out the actual words of the speakers. You will only give yourself a headache. The audio system is set up precisely to deliver 2.7 words out of every seven the speaker says. Bonus thought: If you're looking to make the March a drinking game, take a drink every time one of the speakers says the word "Gorsuch."
4) Say hi to the President! This is just a prediction. President Trump will say in his speech that this is the greatest and yuuuuuugest March in the history of the country. I hope he's right. (But the media will say the Russians colluded with pro-lifers.)
5) The first question out of anyone's mouth you meet for the first time is "where you from?" The further you live from DC, the more exciting it is for the listener.
6) At one point you will see the crowd starting to March but for some reason it'll take about half an hour before you start moving. Be patient. We've waited over 40 years to overturn Roe. A half an hour to start walking won't kill you.
7) The groups on either side of you will have two different chants going and you'll be like, "Can't we get together here folks?"
8) At one point you will be separated from your group. We don't know how or why it happens. You could literally Gorilla Glue your coats together but you will be separated somehow. When you do lose your group, remember they're the ones with pro-life signs who are singing. That'll make them easy to find.
9) No matter how awesome your sign is, someone's got a more clever one. And it will burn you up inside just a little bit!
10) If you are a parent bringing your children, this is a warning. All your kids will want signs. And then as the parent, you will end up holding all their signs for three-quarters of the march because they have very small arms and they're quite lazy.
11) If you have your little ones with you, you will get stuck behind someone with the most grisly picture of an aborted child and try as you might you will continually find yourself directly behind that same sign. #dontknowwhy. Your child will be horrified.
12) At one point you will look behind you and see a sea of young people and old. There will be thousands of every race and heritage. And you will be inspired. And you will feel that little bit of hope you nurture the other 364 days a year kindled into a fire and you will believe that yes, one day we will protect the unborn, we will once again all remember that all life is sacred because it is a gift from God. And then you will get to work making it happen.