An announcement that's sure to bum out progressives everywhere is that the much ballyhooed ancient papyrus which PROOOOOOOOOOVED that Jesus had a wife isn't actually...uhm...real.

You might recall that two years ago, Harvard professor Karen King announced that an ancient papyrus mentioned that Jesus referred to a wife. Hey, it was written in some old type language on a piece of dirty cloth and it said something that many people wanted to believe so therefore it had to be true.

Another piece of text stated that Mary (presumably Magdalen) was "worthy."

Hmmm. Kinda' interesting that an ancient scribbler seemed very concerned with clarifying issues that 21st century progressives cared so much about.

Notre Dame Professor Candida Moss and Yale's Joel S. Baden point out some major problems with the papyrus in a piece that appeared on CNN including that written errors on the Jesus’ wife fragment are exactly the same typographical errors of an ancient text that is available online.

The professors ask, "What are the chances of that?" Uhm. Not good.

That's some pretty good detective work right there by the professors but there are other issues with the papyrus too.

The papyrus in question was found with other fragments which were clear forgeries, according to the professors. It was written in a language that has disappeared by the time it had supposedly been written.

As Moss and Baden said, "if one is a forgery, they’re both forgeries."

I know how heartbroken some must be. But don't worry, this is a learning moment. Some will learn from this and come up with better forgeries next time. Think of how great the next forgery will be.

Next time, Jesus will probably be engaged in a civil union or perhaps a supporter of Obamacare.