Catholic School Kids Say the Darnedest Things

I was talking to a parent of a child who attends public school and she was asking me about my five kids in a Catholic elementary school and if it's different from public school. It is. But it got me thinking about it. Here's a few incidents over the years that brought a smile to my face.

My 8 year old son thought that the ships Columbus sailed to the new world in were named the Lucia, the Jacinta, and the Francisco. Seriously.

My 1st grader answered a question on a religion quiz with the word "Jesus." The answer, unfortunately, was "love." I went over her mistake with her and she said, "But wait, Jesus is God and God is love so I'm right. I'm going to tell my teacher."

Years ago, for Halloween, the kids were asked to dress up as their patron saints. Well, nowadays many Catholics are named all sorts of things. So some of them just had to just pick saints. One of the kids in the class dressed up as Abraham Lincoln. I'm looking into a refund for those religion classes.

My third daughter forgot her homework one day and got a zero. When she asked if she could bring it in the next day she was told she couldn't and that she had a zero for that day. My daughter explained the situation to me, complaining, "You'd think a Catholic school would want to teach kids about forgiveness."

My now 12 year old daughter, a product of Catholic schools, used to think there were only two religions. Catholics and publics. My wife's sister thought the same thing.

"Those CCD students" have become the equivalent of the dog eating homework. You see, the CCD students use the classrooms of the Catholic school so anything that ever goes missing or gets lost in school gets blamed on "those CCD students." By listening to my kids you'd think "CCD students" was a nice way of saying "Future Criminally Insane Catholic Juveniles." Whenever the kids lose something at home I ask them if it's possible that "those CCD students" took it. They think it might be possible.

There is something great about uniforms in that there's no worries about what they're going to wear that day.

There's something terrible about uniforms when you discover a huge stain from yesterday as you're dropping your child off at school.

My son said that the difference between Catholic schools and public schools is public schools have clocks on the wall while Catholic schools have crucifixes.

Cantors going through puberty. Whoa.

In Catholic schools you still get old school gym teachers that have the kids play dodge ball.

In Catholic schools, sex education consists of "that's a very interesting question. Ask your parents."