1) You can’t wait until they start walking and talking and then you can’t imagine why you wanted that so badly.

2) Sometimes silence from a baby is more worrisome than their crying. And you’ll find yourself touching their chest or putting your finger under their nose at 3 a.m. just to make sure they’re breathing.

3) You have to hold children down when they get their shots. Couldn’t doctors hire a thug who comes in and holds them down and then your kid could watch as you throw them out? It would be a lot less confusing to the kids if we weren’t holding them down while a strange woman plunged a sharp object into their arm and then we think a hug from us is going to make it better.

4) There’s no way to suspect that you’ll discuss (at length) the color and texture of poop with other adults.

5) Getting showered and dressed is a feat. For someone who pretty much mastered getting myself showered and dressed by the time I was nine I’m pretty surprised how difficult it is to get this all done.

6) You can’t believe you can’t do fifth grade Math. Seriously. It’s hard.

7) You don’t know from worry until you have children. Imagine your heart being all consumed with love for a little person who tends to run into little things and then grows into a bigger person who tends to run into bigger more dangerous things.

8) A good 1/4 of your life is spent trying to match socks. Don’t worry, it’s the 1/4 you used to use to sleep.

9) Children’s shows stink. Bad. And children’s movies are worse because you actually paid for the movies.

10) You can’t believe how quickly all the time goes. And you can’t imagine how much you’ll miss it when they’re gone.

Note: Feel free to add more in the combox.