When I first heard the idea that unmarried women, and even teenage girls, may want to learn to chart their cycles, I resisted the idea strenuously. I have accepted that it's sometimes necessary for me and my family, but I really, really, really hate charting. So why would someone take on that responsibility before she has to?
I've changed my mind recently, though. In today's mail, I received some charts intended specifically for teenage girls. They are very basic, and include space to record menstrual flow, the presence of cervical fluid, and things like "feelings, headaches, cravings for sweets or chocolate, or if your face breaks out." I called their designer, Kathy Rivet, who recently founded Marguerite D'Youville FertilityCare, and asked her why teens should consider charting.
She says that her charts for teens are designed simply to help girls know when to expect their period, whether they're packing for a sleepover or expecting to be in an athletic event. She says that girls who have severe menstrual cramps can take ibuprofen the night before their period begins, to get ahead of the pain. When her own daughters were teenagers, she said, she kept ginger root in the freezer, and would shave off some into their tea, to soothe cramping.
It occurs to me that girls who chart can also anticipate and plan around other predictable features of a normal cycle, like increased sexual desire during ovulation, or premenstrual mood swings.
Rivet says that girls who are familiar with their cycles "become comfortable with their bodies, and understand them, and then they can protect them -- they won't do anything to harm them." Rivet says that many grown women are ignorant about the most basic aspects of their reproductive systems: that even women who have given birth "know they have a cervix, because they were told it was dilating -- but they don't know what it is or where it is."
Many unmarried women also choose to track their cycles beyond the basic markers in Rivet's charts for teens. Here are some benefits to becoming familiar with your cycle even if you're not married:
--To detect early signs of health problems. The reproductive system is an integral part of women's overall health, and abnormalities in the cycle are often signs of thyroid disease, hormonal imbalances, nutritional deficiencies, even cancer.
--To detect early signs of infertility or future difficulties sustaining a pregnancy. Rivet says that abnormalities such as "tail end brown bleeding, unusual bleeding, short luteal phases, lots of split peaks, or very painful periods" may be signs of polycyctic ovaries or endometriosis -- conditions which can be treated surgically to restore fertility.
Many women don't realize there's a problem until they've tried unsuccessfully to get pregnant for many months, or until they've had more than one miscarriage. If a woman is already familiar with her cycle before marriage, she may be able to correct infertility or subfertility before her wedding, and be able to conceive much more quickly.
Rivet explains that, if a woman is infertile, charting provides a target for the diagnostic tests she will undergo: women who already know there is something amiss in their cycles can follow up with the appropriate blood tests at the right time of the month, rather than undergoing a huge battery of tests for various ills. Rivet says, '"Sometimes the only problem is not having good mucus. This can be treated with vitamin protocol or Mucinex, and women can often get pregnant very quickly."
Contrast this approach -- a targeted, holistic assessment of a woman's overall health -- with the typical approach of a secular doctor, who will often simply try to force a pregnancy on a woman's body, using IVF or other artificial means, whether or not her body is ready to support a pregnancy. "NaPro doctors want to find out what the problem is, " says Rivet.
Charting can also shorten the diagnostic process significantly if the charts look NORMAL. Rivet says, "If the chart looks perfect [but the couple can't conceive], then we look to the man." According to Marquette University, 40% of infertility problems are attributable to women's bodies, 40% to men's, and 20% to both. When an infertile woman has normal cycles, that may also be a sign she has blocked tubes.
And what if a woman is perfectly healthy and fertile, but needs to postpone a pregnancy? Many women first decide to learn how to chart when they are already married -- often, when they've just given birth. They may not realize that they will have to abstain for at least a month -- maybe several months -- while they learn the system. Prolonged abstinence is difficult, but even more so when it's aggravated by the enthusiasm of newlyweds, or the stress and change that come with a new baby. Some of this stress can be alleviated if the woman is already familiar with charting before the need arises.
There is nothing wrong with a woman simply living her life without knowing the first thing about her cycle, if that's what makes sense to her. But there are many reasons to chart, none of which have to do with trying to play God, or lacking in faith or trust, or being selfish or controlling. Charting is simply a tool which is available to women; and postponing pregnancy is only one of many reasons to chart.
For information about Kathy Rivet's charts for teens or for other information about ethically sound help with fertility issues, contact her at (603) 232-3141 or margueritefertilitycare@gmail.com.
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Thanks for the post, Simcha. I recently told my sister, who just turned 18, that it’s a good idea to learn how to chart now just to learn her body. I wish I’d begun before I got married! It would’ve been great to know how my body worked—and it’s amazing how little about basic fertility girls are taught, sometimes even by their good Catholic parents! I think when my girls turn 16, I’ll teach them the basics. As the mom of four myself, that postpartum/breastfeeding period really stinks if you have valid reasons to TTA, but the frustration for me usually leads to trying to complete an unhealthy amount of cleaning and craft projects ;-)
“And it’s amazing how little about basic fertility girls are taught, sometimes even by their good Catholic parents!”
And the boys know even less. Not that the boys need to know as much, but it still takes two to tango.
Both of our parents used NFP, but neither said a word about it until her Protestant mother told us about it a few months before the wedding. (This was after my wife been on the Pill for about a year.) My Catholic mother would not talk about it AT ALL.
My wife plans on teaching our daughters about this MUCH sooner.
Simcha, If you really, really, really hate charting, you may want to look at original Billings Ovulation Method. No temping and a LOT less work than Creighton. It’s also a lot easier to learn. Most of their material is online at www.thebillingsovulationmethod.org, including electronic Billings (and Creighton) charts.
@JD: No, I want to be unhappy!
Amen, and God bless Kathy Rivet and her work!
My chart, which I started keeping a year before I got married, was the best tool for my doctor in diagnosing my PCOS and helping me find ways to alleviate it that didn’t involve needlessly taking hormonal bc. I’ll definitely be teaching my daughter how to chart when the time comes.
More definitely needs to be said about the good that can come from unmarried women charting. Just the learning about my body alone has been a huge benefit; but the anticipating of events (ie - I probably want to punch that guy because of PMS, not because he actually is an evil jerk); knowing my period should be coming, but was missed because of stress; and in general knowing that when I go to the doctor I can give her more information up front. I’m not subject to the whims of some pharmaceutical company.
The most frustrating thing for me is that EVERYTHING for charting is about tracking for babies. I use the OvuView app which I love, but to see more details I had to select the “trying to have a baby” option. Without that it only told me if I was about to start my period - instead I get told the optimal times to have sex.
Charting is so informative and useful (and with an app like this fairly easy), it doesn’t make sense NOT to train EVERY woman on how to do it.
Yep, unmarried woman here who is charting for exactly the reasons listed above :)
Thank you! Oh for the love of God, thank you for this! I was diagnosed with PCOS at 16 because I had only had one period by that age, but I had no idea what charting was and so I spent five years on HBC….learned to chart NFP four months before we were married and it has helped tremendously, since we learned that I need hormonal supplements to sustain a pregnancy. Would never have known that, and would probably have had several miscarriages (rather than just the one) by this time. Thank God for the advances in NFP! Will be teaching my daughter as soon as she starts cycling, as PCOS runs in families.
Fantastic! Just wanted to add that from what I’ve learned it is very common for girls to have irregular cycles and even PCOS specifically during the first 5-8 years of cycling. This can be very normal and I don’t think it should be as much of concern as if the women is beyond the early cycling years unless it’s causing significant pain etc. Just making the point that if you have a young girl with irregular or challenging cycles it would likely be looked at differently then it would once she’s reached cycling maturity. I love that Kathy is working out some materials for younger girls! Will definitely be contacting her! Thanks Simcha!
I was in college and unmarried when I first even heard about NFP. I was a fairly new Catholic and I knew the Church opposed artificial contraception but it took a while before I found out that there was any kind of effective family-planning alternative. (Somehow, they never covered this in RCIA—either that the Church opposed contraception or that any licit recourse existed for married couples who judged it prudent or necessary to space children).
As you can imagine, the months between finding out (a) that contraception was not, in fact, an option ever and (b) that NFP exists were somewhat freaked-out ones.
When I did learn about NFP, probably from the little baby internet we had back then, my first thought was: “You have got to be kidding me! I have to try this!” Sort of in a “how cool is that?!” sense. So I tried to order a copy of a NFP textbook from a nationally known NFP teaching organization, and they wrote me back to tell me it was a BAD IDEA for a young unmarried woman to fall into the temptation of knowing how her cycles worked.
I knew perfectly well where to get free condoms—I was a state university student, after all, they practically leave them like mints on your pillows at the dorm—so I concluded that whatever assumptions the NFP teaching org adviser was making didn’t apply to me, and persisted in my search to find out how to do this cool trick where you could find out when you would have your period.
So I went to the library, where I found a slightly out-of-date edition of the same textbook (hint: it had daffodils on the cover), made myself a chart in Microsoft Excel, and about seven weeks later experienced the twin sensations of WOW IT WORKED THAT IS SO COOL and I HAVE BEEN LIED TO MY WHOLE LIFE ABOUT MY OWN BODY. The experience was faith-strengthening. I continued to chart until I was married several years later.
I am an advocate of knowing as much as you can about yourself. Knowledge is a tool. Keeping people in the dark in the hopes that they won’t use knowledge to make mistakes is itself a terrible mistake.
The Church is reasonable and just because God is Reason and Justice. The world, including our bodies, is made orderly and predictable and wonderful by Him. To hide that is to obscure a part of His creation that might have brought more people into the Faith.
Awesome! Been charting for years (started even before I got engaged as I was trying to tackle some crazy hormonal shifts—I get pretty bad PMS and was trying to be aware of when to expect those days) I definitely encourage every woman to be aware of her health and body.
A few years back a sweet (Protestant) married friend of mine and I were dicussing babies and she and her hubby were trying to concieve. I quickly realized she didn’t know about when she ovulated, wasn’t fertile, etc—something that was sooo “second nature” to me was a complete mystery to her. I told her the basics—observe the mucus, chart your cycle, etc and they got preggo very quickly after that. It blew my mind that so many women don’t know they basics of the BEAUTIFUL way their bodies work due to God’s awesome design. I’m grateful to know and love NFP.
Good column.Thanks!
All women benefit from understanding how their bodies work & taking responsibility for their health.
NFP is woman-led. No pharmaceutical company profits.There are no NFP sales reps visiting doctors’ offices with samples,gifts, or offers of trips to the Caribbean.No trendy commercials on the nightly news.If that ever happens I guess we can expect drs. to more widely recommend NFP.
But you can’t underestimate the creepiness factor of a cute 20-something bringing up her difficulties in charting at a party to a guy she just met. My husband brings this circumstance up all the time when the conversation wanders to “awkward situations”. Maybe part of the instruction should be a list of appropriate conversation starters at a party. :-/
@To protect the innocent: but that’s not a charting problem, just a general social cluelessness problem! But yeah, people tend to think that, if it’s a moral practice, then it’s appropriate conversation for moral people. Not so, not so! I even hesitated writing about it here (I said “mucus!!!”) but figured the title ought to warn off the squeamish.
Simcha, Have you looked in to the Standard Days Method (SDM)? Seriously, it’s saved me post-partum a BUNCH of times. I have a lot of issues that keep me (and my husband) from having more children (or, at least, right now) and, though it can be a sacrifice, the SDM is little work for a LOT of certainty.
Oh, and on the subject, I think girls should chart for the very reasons Simcha writes about. I certainly will teach my daughter when she starts a cycle. Of course, once she gets the hang of it, I may enlighten her about the SDM.
When I was in high school and college, I had irregular menstrual periods. My mother (with the gynecologist’s support) was in favor of me going on the birth control pill to “regulate my periods” (rather than find out the cause of the irregularies). This was a disaster as being on the pill made it much easier to give in to the societal pressure to have casual sex. Then later, when married and trying to have children, I discovered I had hypothroidism. Had I been taught charting, I certainly would have had respect for my body, would not have given in to the temptation to casual sex, and would have discovered my thyroid problem much sooner (of course my family was not Catholic, so no surprise they didn’t know about anything other than the Pill). I totally plan on teaching my daughter charting so she can develop a respect for her body and the gift of her sexuality.
@Bearing: I think this is one area where the (admittedly few) secular sources are well ahead of the Catholic ones. If you are referring to the organization I think you are, we had a less-than-positive experience with them as a married couple. The materials seemed to imply that if you didn’t want another baby right now and you had any sort of struggles with the abstinence, there was something wrong with you and your marriage. The science was fine, but the tone was very negative and judgmental.
Another Catholic NFP organization doesn’t like sharing their material at all—even with the married couples who want to learn it. It’s like some sort of state secret and you are on a “need to know” basis. When we asked about a sign that this method did not ordinarily teach, we were told that it wasn’t part of the method and we didn’t need to know that.
On the other hand, the secular “Taking Charge of Your Fertility” book was fantastic. I like to say that it took a feminist Jewish woman to get me to appreciate the Catholic Church’s teaching on sexuality.
Very interesting article on fertility awareness from a secular feminist perspective that gives the Catholic Church credit for promoting it as an important part of women’s health. (They also have a good online NFP manual. Seems to be a “Symptothermal Creighton”.)
http://www.justisse.ca/learningfertilityawareness/
Not to mention the benefit of establishing the habit early in life…makes it so much easier to keep it up later!
FWIW, when we were married we eventually took our NFP classes from the same organization and we continue to support them financially. I think they are getting better now that they are under new management, so to speak, and even if some of the presentation of themselves turned me off, I cannot fault the method they taught in any way.
My biggest beef is the lack of availability of charting materials. I’ve tried doing it in Excel, and it’s too fiddly, even for me. I like having the paper chart next to the bed. (A good iOS app would be even better, but they all suck.). I haven’t been able to get replacement materials for 8 years. And I’ve only been married 8 years! And we learned the method as an engaged couple! I eventually just gave up, and keep my current cycle in my head.
In fact, I keep a large quantity of biometric information in reference in my head. Including my current weight, which is especially funny, since we don’t own a scale. Yesterday the nurse at the OB was weighing me, and she moved the weight marker all the way down to 140. Nuh uh, sez I, and tipped it back right to 200, and I was only half a pound off.
One thing that I’ve observed is that, while you technically can get pregnant every cycle, that all or even most women can get pregnant and carry to term at the drop of a hat seems to be vastly overestimated.
...my captcha is ‘men37’
Geeklady: I used Excel to make the paper chart and printed it out and charted on it with pencil. It is fiddly to create the chart but once it is done it is done, and you can customize it to fit exactly which signs you track.
Catherine,
I had a similar experience.A protestant friend & her husband had been unable for some time to conceive.I had a copy of the visual “chart” Mother Teresa’s sisters would give folk who couldn’t read- a series of photos of stages of mucus during a woman’s cycle.It was a bit “yucky”, but far from being creeped out by my gift, my friend put the info to use & the result was her daughter who will be 28 yrs. old this year.
My daughter has been asked by her doctor to chart because she has one or two ovarian cysts that need monitoring. At 21 and single, she finds it incredibly empowering and spiritual to figure out just how beautifully her body has been designed by God! She doesn’t worry about fertile/infertile periods because she has no need at present, but it’s great that she knows how to chart now 1) for the health reasons mentioned above and 2) for when she eventually needs it to practice NFP.
We use an Excel chart. I started with the Billings/Creighton chart from www.thebillingsovulationmethod.org and added a temperature graph. Took a lot of fiddling to get started, but now that that is done, it is easy.
OvuView is supposed to be good, but that’s Android only. Is there really no good IOS apps?
Just another vote for Taking Charge of Your Fertility. The sample charts have been an invaluable reference when things are…unusual.
I wish to goodness I’d begun charting before I was ever thinking about marriage! Turns out, I had all the tell tale signs of PCOS, which, in my case was fairly easily treated (though not in all cases). It would have saved me several years of infertility and secondary infertility and consequently several years of physical and emotional pain. Thanks for this.
Also, I use an Iphone app called Lily. It’s symptothermal and has made charting incredibly easy. I could even show charts to my doctor if she were actually interested.
Single Catholic woman here and I just chart my menstrual cycle for free on fertilityfriend.com, which in itself has been very educational. I haven’t yet ventured into the whole mucous/temparature/etc. charting thing - I guess I figured I would save that headache for marriage! Perhaps I should rethink it and bite the bullet now to at least go ahead and learn it?
Another Catholic gal here too. I haven’t thought about it this way!
I simply circle the starting date of my period and tick off the rest of the days on a calendar. The calendar is in my room. Whenever I have to go the doctor, I’m asked about when was my last period, I can say when. I’ve been doing this since junior high school.
You can print off charts through the Taking Charge of Your Fertility website for the symptothermal method. http://www.tcoyf.com/content/MasterCharts.aspx
I put our chart template on Google Drive for anyone who might find it useful. Download the Excel file. Copy and Paste the stamps into the appropriate boxes. Put the BBT reading in the chart area and Excel will graph it automatically.
https://docs.google.com/open?id=0B2ps44WBur2CWmE4NHdXdXRoWDA
Hmmmmm…..Super points made here about the value of charting, knowledge of our bodies, etc; however I’ll demur—on a point.
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I question how profitable it is for a teenage girl with no obvious reproductive cycle issues to focus on charting. There is a poetry in the relationship between a teenage girl and her newly developed body. There is a certain mystery in its new strength, curves, and in its cycles. She finds this body now holds new power but will also betray her at points she thinks she has control. There are subtle changes in the relationships with the males in her life, and her view on maternity and self-sacrifice begin to evolve.
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I’m of the opinion that a teenage girl should “know” about her body through some experience and a bit of intuition first (...and to be clear I don’t mean through ignorance of basic reproductive physiology and anatomy), rather than quantifying all its processes as soon as she matures. Rather, allow for those teenage years to be a bit of a dance between her new body and her prayer life, the relationships with women in her life, great literature to nourish the heart(stories of the spiritual motherhood of women religious, a mother like Gianna Molla, some Jane Austen, and on and on….), and a bit of contemplation in front of the mirror that most teenage girls seem to enjoy.
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I guess what I am saying is teaching a healthy 16 year old to chart is a bit like suggesting to a young child that we dissect a pig for science today before a child has had a chance to have had someone play “This Little Piggy” on her toes or heard the story of “The Three Little Pigs” and had a chance to pet some pigs at the county fair, KWIM?
I have in my phone super iOS app- its called Kindara. A good friend from high school developed with her husband. The basic app is free, although you can upgrade and get more features for 4.99. There is also a FB page where you can find links to her blog posts about her motivation behind the development of the app. So far, I love it, I’ve been able to tell for the first time when my cycles will start. In the interest of honesty, the developers are not Catholic, or even Christian and some of their opinions reflect that. Also, I am nit in a relationship so I am chaste so this app is more for my own info and not to conceive or avoid. Someone above mentioned wanting to find a good iOS app, this was very recently developed so I thought I would throw in my .02.
Has anyone else run into the fact that precious few doctors have heard of NFP, much less support its use? I am lucky enough, now, to be at a thoroughly pro-life ob/gyn. But as a teen with irregular periods I was put on the pill to regulate my cycles. Fifteen years later I find out I have hypothyroid and pcos—important information I wouldn’t have had without charting and having doctors that CARE about my fertility and, oh, my overall health! (They’re supposed to go hand-in-hand, by the way, doctors. Medical professionals seem to want to treat the uterus like a purse you can carry on your arm or throw in the back of the closet, depending on your outfit).
@Colet: It got so bad at my OB/GYN that I left. Oddly, the doctors were supportive of me but the nurses (and I interacted with the nurses for the most part) were awful. I even got a lecture on the HHS mandate with my feet in the stirrups even though they know I’m Catholic and I had my scapular on. I won’t have my first appointment for a while, but she’s affiliated with the local Catholic hospital and several of my NFP using friends have used her. I suspect you will hear that there isn’t a lot of support or understanding of NFP in modern practice in the US.
Lisa, I think it would depend on how it was presented to the teenage girl. I remember being freaked out at mucus when I was a girl with thoughts of “what’s wrong with me??!!? I’m dying!!! GAHH!!!” (yea I was one of those…) I was afraid to speak about it for years and finally mentioned it one day to my mom who said “oh that’s normal” and left it at that. I think it would have been very beneficial to at least KNOW that it was normal when the symptoms started. It’s kind of like how most girls are prepared with the knowledge that one day they will start bleeding.
They probably don’t need to go into intricate details, or even write something down everyday. But letting them know that they can keep track of all sorts of things (mood, acne, energy levels, etc) and will start to notice patterns. This way they can learn that dance with their bodies while knowing that there is someone they can ask questions of if things are getting really weird.
“There is a poetry in the relationship between a teenage girl and her newly developed body.”
I don’t remember it being poetic. I remember it being full of anxiety, uncertainty, and embarrassment. I used to do the the “circle the start date of my period on the calendar and count to 30” trick to figure out when my next period might start and then spend a week living on high alert and trying to hide maxi pads from the world. It would have been so nice to look at my chart and say, “Oh, my temperature dropped. I should start my period within the next 24 hours.”
And the reality of cervical mucus is often ignored, even though girls may often start having it a year or two before they actually start ovulating. My mom just told me it was “discharge” and that was it, but I have a distinct memory of a girlfriend freaking out during school Mass in 6th grade that her period may have just started again two weeks after her last one only to find out it was mucus (probably fertile quality).
The author of Taking Charge of Your Fertility has a book for teens, but she doesn’t recommend charting until closer to age 16 just because most girls have REALLY irregular cycles for a few years.
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I think that CCL has the best paper charts, and I usually buy those without a membership. Although, I have to say that their newer textbooks are way better than the old one. I should also point out that their avoidance rules are more stringent than those in Taking Charge of Your Fertility. I followed the latter rather than the former and am currently 7 weeks away from my due date with baby #5.
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I think Mrs. Rivet’s charts sound awesome!!! Maybe if we all pester her enough she’ll make an official website for them.
I started NFP this spring, and I am a single Catholic woman, who knew a little about my body. I was blown away by how much we could know, and how empowered that made me feel. I honestly felt cheated that I waited until now learn this method, not to achieve a pregnancy or not, but how to know my body, and be able to be confident knowing those things. I think every young woman should be able to have that feeling, and more importantly, I think knowing your cycle/body is something every woman should know. We need to teach young women(teenagers) about their bodies, in a loving God centered fashion, so that they will be more confident.
Colet, yup, most doctors have no clue or think your crazy. I actually got fed up with one of my doctors who was so concerned with my weight that he gave me a ridiculous low amount of calories for my lunch meals (less than 1 PB&J sandwich), yet insisted there would be nothing wrong with my (a single woman) going on the pill. “Don’t you know it will help with acne and PMS?”
It’s very weird; they care SO MUCH about your health in one area, yet throw you to the wolves in another. I’ve been thinking about going to a local NFP trained doctor…but I know her so well it’s a little weird.
Colet - I’ve had the same problem with my local OBGYN. Luckily there is a doc about an hour or so from me who is NaPro certified and I usually see him in the beginning of my pregnancies and he pust me on progesterone (repeat miscarriage). I told my regular doctor about it and they always just kind of give me a weird look. Although now the IVF crowd is acknowledging the benefits of progesterone in those early stages of pregnancy for some women so maybe eventually they will start to investigate more about this NFP stuff. We can only hope! In the meantime, see if you can find a doctor within driving distance, it’s worth the travel just to be affirmed in what you are doing. :)
My use of the word “poetic” here is not intended to be synonymous with “happy”. And sometimes during a dance the guy steps on your food—hard, but through that we learn.
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Also, knowledge of cervical mucus, its purpose, and its monthly appearance seems to me to be part of the basic package during the menstrual cycle talk.
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Additionally, me feelings on this issue don’t preclude, and in fact include, a healthy relationship with moms, sisters, etc. to discuss all of the hardships that go with growing up.
My mom was an OB GYN nurse. I started my period when I was 12, and she gave me a small pocket chart when I was 13. She told him to fill it out each day (no temps). I think she wanted to make sure my body was doing what it was supposed to.
I never, not once, used it to determine fertility. As I got older, I did engage is some sexual activity, but I never trusted my charting to avoid pregnancy. I just used condoms during that brief time.
Now I am married, I only use NFP. Charting did not make me sexually active as a teen, it was only a tool I used to understand what my body was doing and when to expect my period.
Charting gave me discipline. It made me pay attention to my body from an early age. I will encourage my daughter to do it when she is old enough as well. There is never something bad about understanding your body.
I have a question that may be a bit off topic but related… I’ve had a horrible time charting. I am married and am pregnant with my 4th baby in 5 years. The only time charting went well for me was before my first pregnancy and we were ttc. Anyway, never, not once in all of my life have I had quality cervical fluid to indicate fertility. Obviously this hasn’t caused me trouble conceiving but it’s been terribly difficult to postpone pregnancy, especially in those postpartum, breast feeding, sleepless nights where temping is useless.(and the whole LAM method! Ha! I conceived 2 of the 4 pregnancies when I shouldn’t have been able to.) Thankfully a friend pointed me in the direction of the Marquette Method which will be our go to from now on. So that brings me to my question, can my mucous problem really be solved with a vitamin protocol or mucinex? How did I not know this? Does anyone have a link with more information about this? TIA
I recently discovered some of these benefits when I started using the Period Diary app, which allows me to record periods, symptoms, and moods, and then charts all of those out for you so you can more easily see what’s going on. It also suddenly made sense of what seemed like “random” cramping that was nowhere near the period: Until I started charting on the app, I didn’t know ovulation could cause period-like symptoms. Surprise! And, for anyone wary of having that kind of information on a phone that could be lost, the Period Diary app also lets you passcode the information to keep it secure. There is a free version if you want to try it out, but the paid version is cheap and offers helpful extras. (You can also import your free version’s info into the paid version if you want to test out the app before buying.)
As a single woman who has female health issues, thanks for this article! I’ve been charting for the past four years in an effort to get hormones under control before I get married and my husband and I want to have kids. It’s also allowed me to get back in control of my own life - I’m able to take supplements from my naturopath (rather than the birth control the other doctors wanted to put me on for a band-aid fix) and I’m no longer calling in sick a few times a month or am feeling so icky for three weeks out of the month that I have no energy to do anything. It’s amazing what charting has told me about my body - I definitely feel much more empowered because of it! Big proponent of single women learning more about their bodies via NFP.
My mom taught me how to chart during high school, and it was the best thing she could have done. She didn’t teach me all the “rules”, because she obviously didn’t want me to use it as a free ticket to have sex, but the early practice not only introduced me to NFP during a time when I was making decisions about my life and what I believed, but also, I could see that it wasn’t as difficult as some pro-contraceptive people make out charting to be.
Random thoughts on this awe-some/-ful topic:
—The “god has designed our bodies perfectly talk sometimes can be a bit too much for those whose bodies don’t, in fact, work like clockwork or whose perception of their cycle signals is that they are confusing. Sort of like how I feel when the natural childbirth thing veers into that territory: Yeah, Our bodies usually work this way BUT it is a fallen world, after all, so don’t think that the body WILL work properly all the time. The difference is that the signals sent by our bodies can be tracked to indicate problems. But the body might or might not be “working as theoretically designed.”
—I would think that parents would have a sense of the right time and amount of information and encouragement to give their daughter about charting. Also, those more “poetically” inclined may not be interested in charting for a while anyway, favoring an “in the moment” way of being (that was me as a younger woman). There is nothing wrong with saying, “Look what you can do! There’s stuff here if you want to!”
—I would really love some resources that Catholic families can use to talk about experiences with doctors who are friendly to NfP-ers; maybe a clearinghouse of sorts: A place to look up docs in your area that might include those who are specifically Catholic (like the Tepeyac family center in Firfax, VA) and/or NaPro certified, but also those to whome women have gone and had good experiences with the level of knowledge and/or respect from the doc, whether Catholic or not.
I charted long before I was married, and I think it’s a great idea. I can’t imagine just learning after getting married. Because of my irregular cycles, it’s also helped pinpoint my due dates more accurately, surely helping me avoid being induced with a inaccurate date. I have a Protestant acquaintance who promotes NFP through her organization (which develops teaching materials for a more holistic, abstinence-only sex education), and she taught her three daughters how to chart. She said it was tremendously helpful to know, when her daughters were moody and irritable, whether to address their bad attitudes, or to be a little extra patient and send them to bed with a cup of tea and a hot water bottle.
KM, I can’t answer your questions about your specific troubles but I do want to offer you encouragement; I and my sister have been in the same boat and your situation actually speaks to one of the benefits of charting ahead of time, as Simcha mentioned. I think it is *supremely* difficult to use sympto-thermal charting for TTA if you don’t start until after you have had a baby. And after two babies close together you have even less chance for success: not only have you had little time to chart but the intervening time was perhaps heavily influenced by breastfeeding hormones, or just post-partum regulation, and then add in the stress and etc. It is awfully hard; perhaps the most difficult situation there is in which to learn and be successful—and perhaps the most desperate time for some young couples.
I don’t have the solution, just pointing out my experience and also want to let you know that the difficulty with charting is “normal” in your hormonal situation—I hope Marquette is better (it should be with the hormone monitoring) but don’t forget to pray! (Even if you are mad about your life, even better! I should know, I pray mad All. The. Time.)
Take care.
Do some women really not know when they’ll start their period? I can generally tell three or four days ahead of time because of gradually increasing symptoms and mood changes. I don’t have anything against charting but it doesn’t seem necessary in order to know where you are during your cycle. I’ve never been caught unaware by my period starting. Of course, everyone’s body is different.
I’m just learning to chart now at age 35, during the postpartum period of my second child (it is indeed a very awkward time to learn!) and I was humbled by the breadth of my ignorance about my own reproductive system. If only I had had this kind of quality information when I was a teenager. There is so much free-floating shame and insecurity in our culture about women’s anatomy, manifesting itself in bizarre personal hygiene habits (e.g. extreme bikini waxing, those horrible perfumed douches that I can’t believe are still on the market, etc.). When I was a teenager I associated this kind of intimate knowledge with the whole “Our Bodies, Ourselves” culture which was so linked to sexual permissiveness, as if knowledge of your body automatically had to lead in that direction. If I had learned about NFP then, I’m sure it would have impacted my body image and my sexual history for the better.
Withholding NFP education from from young, unmarried women is just plain stupid. I wish I would have had this information much earlier in life. I’ve given secular, public high schoolers just a brief overview of the concepts of NFP and you should see their faces light up with wonder. I’ve spoken in a secular college classroom about the feminist benefits of NFP. One college student was enthralled and wanted to know more - but she made the immediate connection that this method would need to involve a committed, monogamous relationship. She realized she couldn’t have the [unfortunately] typical college hook-ups and respect her body.
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When a young woman learns how amazing and intricate her body is, she respects it more. And if someone chooses to abuse it, they would abuse it anyway - but at least they have come in contact with NFP teachers who love and value them and value marriage. Maybe some will misuse NFP, but there is an open door for them to grow closer to the truth about sex, love, and marriage.
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I also completely agree that early charting can be a tool to find out about underlying health problems for singles. Why would you restrict that knowledge from young women?! My husband and I are dealing with infertility - I wish I would have had the chance to address the underlying problems earlier. As a dating/engaged couple, my future husband and I would have had more information - that infertility may be a cross in our future and it would have prepared us. It would have affected many areas of discernment.
Io, I never knew all through out my pre married life when to expect a period. I really had no symptoms until the day before or the day of and was irregular. (cycles lasting from 22 to 40 days) I remember choosing my wedding date and just praying to God I wouldn’t be having my period on my wedding day but had no way to know. I remember being absolutely gleeful when I did get my period 2 weeks before the wedding cause I knew I wouldn’t be getting another before then.
Thanks, Corita! There was a time I was pretty grumpy about it but have just decided this is probably my cross to bear. I still have probably another 13-15 years of fertility (gulp)and have just had to submit my will on this one. I do hope the marquette model will allow me to space the rest of my babies cause dangit, I really need a break. But if not… I guess that is God’s will.
And to no one in particular, I don’t understand the argument that NFP is a free ticket to pre-marital sex for teens. Last I heard, NFP does nothing to prevent STDs and the statistics of how many teens have them these days, yikes. Knowing your body doesn’t take away all of the risks.
Another good reason to have an estimation of when your period is going to be is in order to brace yourself against the crabbiness. It’s also good to be ready so that you remember the world isn’t REALLY falling around you - it’s just that time of month. :)
Another vote here for Taking Charge of Your Fertility. I really wish I had started charting in my early 20’s instead of right before I got married. My fiance and I attended classes on the Creighton method and found it very unhelpful in general (he would say depressing and discouraging!) Anyone who has experience with their charts will know what I mean when I say he got really mad at all those baby stickers! Meanwhile I was also reading TCOYF on my own and learning the sympto-thermal method. I would show our Creighton teacher my sticker charts, which only tracked mucous (which I had every. single. day) and she’d sit there stumped until I showed her the temperature chart, at which point she’d immediately identify when I ovulated; but then she’d quickly say that temperature wasn’t part of the Creighton method. I also found TCOYF less preachy and much easier to understand. Sounds to me like Marquette has a good thing going as well.
We also experienced some problems conceiving which were traced to my husband much more quickly than if I hadn’t been charting. To give people hope on that front—vitamins can help male fertility issues as well! We have two beautiful daughters without having to use any of the invasive or immoral methods our doctor was pushing on us.
Okay, you convinced me. I do have an emotional aversion to NFP. The good reasons you stated for teaching our daughters to chart and in the comments speak for themselves.
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I have some painful memories from another point in my life, when my husband and I were not truly on the same page concerning being open to life. For my husband, periods of natural infertility were like a “beat the system” game to have as much sex as possible except for when it involved a new baby. It literally had the opposite affect as if, for instance I’d been on the pill (which I know is terrible and I would never submit to), but which wouldn’t have made him reject me so pointedly when it came to fertility. It was disconcerting. In principle, he believed in the teachings of the Catholic church, but in practice, he would have used ABC. I always laugh when I read people write that if you are “playing by the rules”, one is always above reproach. They scoff at bad mentalities. Thank God we were able to move past this mentality when he learned to trust God.
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Another case that comes to mind, is one of my dear friends, whose husband would not use ABC. She is Catholic also, but complained bitterly. She was so obsessed with NFP, and not getting pregnant that she basically only made love with her husband during her period. She was OCD about it. Ironically she became obsessed with getting pregnant when she no longer was able to. Her daughter chucked her faith at about 17, and never looked back. She has been married about 10 years and has no children.
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So I am both a believer, having benefited from NFP, and a skeptic, knowing the profound foibles of the human heart.
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I know that this isn’t the reason for the post; you and others here make a very good case for teaching our daughters to chart, but as with everything else, I will try to teach my daughter that while knowledge IS power, it must be tempered with wisdom and grace. I started her YEARS ago, praying for her future spouse, since this seems to be very clearly her vocation.
“She says that her charts for teens are designed simply to help girls know when to expect their period,”
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And this is why I plan to teach my daughters how to chart. I’ve always had irregular cycles and I HATED never knowing when my period would start (inevitably, it would be the day I decided to wear white jeans to school). I would have LOVED to have known NFP when I was a teen, but I didn’t find out about until I began RCIA as a married woman.
“My fiance and I attended classes on the Creighton method and found it very unhelpful in general (he would say depressing and discouraging!) Anyone who has experience with their charts will know what I mean when I say he got really mad at all those baby stickers!”
Creighton was NOT helpful for us, either. Lots of baby stickers. They market it like it is THE Gold Standard of NFP, but it’s just another method and very teacher dependent. In fact, the Drs. Billings were highly critical of Dr. Hilgers’s modification of their method. http://www.woomb.org/omrrca/BOMvCrMS.pdf
Between TCOYF and the Billings material that we found online, she was FINALLY able to tell the difference between a “baby stamp” and a “yellow stamp”. Temping was a HUGE help to us and allowed us to FINALLY be able to know when we really had the “all clear”. Our Creighton teacher outright REFUSED to teach temping to us because “temperature wasn’t part of the Creighton method”. Grrrr.
Thank God society is moving past the mentality that menstruation, fertility and sex are a mystery religion that one must be initiated into with as few squeamish words as possible. I vowed my daughter would get full disclosure, that I would talk to her about sex and her body openly. I might have to WRITE the book I would want her to have for her wedding night…Maybe it worked a little too well. Her direct remarks on a famous singer’s see-through dress yesterday, made me jump. When I chided her, she smiled and accused me of being MY mother! She also writhes on the couch every month, for all to behold, and orders her father and brothers to the store for Midol. It seems I have fallen short on the topic of suffering in silence.
Great article! I’m a college student, and I’m in a relationship headed toward marriage - the problem is that although I want to learn NFP before I’m married (we’re shooting for after I graduate next year), I have absolutely NO idea how to start. Is it expensive to get the materials/pay an instructor to talk with you? Perhaps some fellow commenters could tell me where to start?
I want to chart. Where do I begin?
Abby, it shouldn’t cost much if anything. I’d recommend starting by getting a copy of taking control of your fertility by Toni Weschler and starting a (free) membership at fertilityfriend.com to keep track of your charts. Really, that is all you need to start on a basic level. You can also look to your parish to direct you to a class.
I think young, Catholic women should the most knowledgeable people on the face of the earth on this topic.—just my opinion. Also, concerning the Declaration of Independence post, forgot to say: neat video.
Amen!! Thank you for writing about this, Simcha.
SO TRUE:
—To detect early signs of health problems. The reproductive system is an integral part of women’s overall health, and abnormalities in the cycle are often signs of thyroid disease, hormonal imbalances, nutritional deficiencies, even cancer.
—To detect early signs of infertility or future difficulties sustaining a pregnancy. Rivet says that abnormalities such as “tail end brown bleeding, unusual bleeding, short luteal phases, lots of split peaks, or very painful periods” may be signs of polycyctic ovaries or endometriosis—conditions which can be treated surgically to restore fertility.
After two years of not being able to conceive I showed my ex-OBGYN my NaPro charts and told her about the hormone panel that I was going to do through PPVI Institute. She stared blankly at the chart and said, “Oh well we would only need to do two blood tests”. And then she referred me to a fertility clinic. And she KNEW I was Catholic and followed Catholic teachings. Needless to say I never went back.
If you are thinking about trying the Creighton Method Fertility System, or contacting the PPVI Institute for fertility issues, don’t make my mistake and wait. Do it now!
Abby, Hanna: The best place to start is www.thebillingsovulationmethod.org. Most of their material is online. The Billings Method is the basis for all modern methods of fertility awareness. It is also the simplest. Learning Billings will help you better understand all other methods.
TCOYF is excellent too, but is a bit more involved.
Billings material is a good place to start, but be sure you look for information about how to use the temperature sign too. I know not everyone likes it, but for a great number of us it is the single most useful and easy-to-read and easy.-to-understand sign—you can always ignore it or stop taking temps later if you want.
I agree that Weschler’s book is the most accessible explanation for most people, though if you absolutelt want to see it in a context of Catholic morality, CCL’s materials are good.
I charted some when I was a young teen, but I was just as bad at it then as I am now. I think I should probably start a Lady-Comp savings account for my daughter and any future daughters. At $500 a pop, my hypothetical daughters-in-law will have to pay for their own. http://www.raxmedical.com/ladycomp.php
(Warning: secular product advertised with secular values. But it’s NFP made easy, but expensive. We are very happy with ours for both avoiding conception and trying to conceive purposes.)
Had I known to chart and been aware of my fertility signs years ago, before I was married, I would have had a much better understanding of my flirtatiousness and wildness during my ovulation. In hindsight, it is clear that my behavior would change drastically during this time every month. I think girls could use this information to help control themselves.
I am one of those (apparently rare) souls who has always had a reliable clockwork like cycle. My teenage daughter does as well. I’ve never actually done a real chart although I have kept track of my fertility throughout most of our marriage. I have used the Billings Method and those lipstick shaped saliva readers. As far as our almost 16 y.o. daughter goes, I have to give the idea of her charting more thought. I’m not sure what she’ll gain from the practice. I think she’s already got a decent awareness of her cycle (including mid cycle ovulatory cramping). In any case, I’ve never charted, so I wouldn’t be able to show her even if I wanted.
I love reading things like this!
I am a cradle Catholic 18 year old. I know my parents have/do use NFP, but they haven’t taught me anything besides the one “you’re going to have a period” talk. I’m very thankful to have the internet and articles like this to learn from!
I’ve kept track of my cycle for the past couple years (mainly starting day) just because I thought it was cool to know about when I’d start. Some surprises are not so good :-) In the last year, though, I have become very regular, and have been keeping track of other signs which have become more apparent.
I’m saving myself for my wedding night, so I’m keeping track of my cycle just to know my body better. I work at a Crisis Pregnancy Center, and it’s incredible how little most girls know about themselves! I would love to see some sort of educational thing for teens that focused on knowing your body (not so much on avoiding/attaining pregnancy like hardcore NFP).
Thanks for the article, though. It’s awesome!
Through NFP, I discovered I had all the telltale signs of PCOS, thyroid issues and even learned how to treat pretty radical PMS (or pmdd). I was able to get my hormones back on track with some vitamin supplements—which I also learned through NFP that any old multi-vitamin will not do: that there are artificial vitamins that can harm if taken long term in many ways BC will. I learned how to read the labels on the vitamin supplements and know what I’m REALLY putting into my body.
I have learned things that even my OB seemed taken aback to be questioned about, and after asking him about it, he said, “well, yes…that would work too” (in lieu of the quick fix, easy money in his pocket Pill)
I now have three children at 27 years old. The first one I know is a flat out miracle because I wasn’t practicing NFP when he was conceived, and the other two, I know I would have had trouble conceiving if I had not taken control of my body and education about it. This is true feminism and empowerment.
I started charting when I became engaged to my now husband of almost thirteen years. Our first was conceived on our honeymoon: we set the date before I began charting in earnest and I remember doing the math and realizing that I would likely be very fertile those first few days of marriage! Four kids later with the youngest just turning six I am still charting. Recently, my cycles have been changing, getting shorter and shorter, down to 19 days, and some months with rather lengthy menses. I was beginning to worry something was wrong, especially as my current cycle is now on day 42 or so. I just pulled out my dusty old NFP textbook only to discover I am likely perfectly healthy, just pre-menopausal! Oh, my! My charts almost perfectly mirror the examples in the book. I love the freedom(!) and knowldge NFP has given me over the years.
BTW, we took our classes with Northwest Family Services; they teach the sympto-thermal method. I have really been pleased using their free online and printable charts (I, too, am a paper-by-the-bed-type). http://www.nwfs.org/couples-a-singles/natural-family-planning.html
I never charted. I knew when my period was coming because for about five years I was about a week and a half either ahead or behind my mother. (I’ve heard and there may be scientific proof that females who live in the same household have periods that are pretty close together). It probably would’ve helped diagnosed per-menopausal ten years before before the fact. I do not know if I could’ve become pregnant or not.
“I now have three children at 27 years old. The first one I know is a flat out miracle because I wasn’t practicing NFP when he was conceived, and the other two, I know I would have had trouble conceiving if I had not taken control of my body and education about it. This is true feminism and empowerment.”
Is this intention to take control of one’s fertility from God, or from the evil spirit? Let’s not forget that it was curiosity that led Eve to sin… and to the downfall of her husband. Perhaps some aspects of a woman’s fertility need to remain a mystery even to the woman herself. Also, it was not control that characterized the Blessed Virgin Mary’s faith, but rather docility (Be it done to me according to thy word, Lk 1:38.) How else would she be able to trust her Son’s words that “...your Father knoweth that you need all (these) things. Seek ye therefore first the kingdom of God, and his justice, and all these things shall be added unto you”?
I have a very traumatic memory of being 12 years old and experiencing, month after month, what I now know was a sign of fertility. At the time I thought I had a scary infection and that I had somehow brought it on myself. I told my mother about it and she didn’t know—a married mother of two in her 30s. She took me to the doctor, who gave me a painful, humiliating exam and then suggested a douche. You bet I’ll be teaching my daughter about fertility signs and charting. I’m also giving another thumbs up for the Weschler book, which is blessedly clear and humorous even if it contains some immoral suggestions. “The Art of Natural Family Planning”, while admirably thorough, is opinionated and at times insulting.
Incidentally, as far as I know, the sin of Eve was disobedience, not curiosity. If women should be kept in the dark about their own most intimate functions, then let’s be consistent and say that it is wrong for any of us to understand anything about the innermost workings of our bodies at all, and therefore no one should visit a doctor, go to medical school, or even take vitamins.
I had been married a long time to an sterilized man when I discovered the Church and eventually converted. I chart to take care of my health. How I regret not having this knowledge as a young woman! I never even HEARD of the research and improvements in understanding our reproductive systems until I came into the Church. For those asking, I find the Couple to Couple League book The Art of Natural Family Planning very helpful and have incorporated some Billings stuff, too. To find a physician with NaPro training, try www.fertilitycare.org and there are resources at ccli.org as well.
As someone who had completely irregular periods as a teen, keeping records, including notes, proved invaluable with my gynecologist. My doctor sent me in for testing and discovered a hormonal imbalance. Through hormone replacement therapy, with continued documentation, my hormones became balanced and they have been normal since then. I was told that if I had not had this corrective therapy then I could have went through early menopause, possibly developed a reproductive cancer, been unable to become pregnant, or carry a pregnancy to term.
1. My wife contracepted until a few years back. Post conversion and NFP, she says she really understands her cycles, her body and variations therein. If nothing else, I think being in tune with this and any other element of ones body is a health benefit that exceeds suppressing the info your body tries to tell you with synthetic hormones.
2. Women are (sorry for this…) lucky to have such a biological marker as their menses. What do we boys have to listen to our bodies. Reproduction is one piece of the larger puzzle. And the health benefits my wife describes go beyond fertility.
Just askin…as a guy who thinks this is pretty amazing stuff.
“What do we boys have to listen to our bodies.”
We boys have our own reproductive system. (Hint: The little blue pill was originally developed as blood pressure medication.)
“Just askin…as a guy who thinks this is pretty amazing stuff.”
I know what you mean. Fascinating.
@Fr Gardner:
With all due respect, your fears are misfounded. The “control” that Carolyn referenced might better be described as “properly informed stewardship.”
Without this knowledge, Carolyn doubts she could have conceived her second and third children. In other cases, the fertility chart can indicate—in the best case, even before marriage—that a woman is at risk for miscarriage because of an untreated medical condition.
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We should be all aware that, in our culture, ten percent of women have polycystic ovarian symptoms (if not the full-blown disorder). I’m just naming one of several conditions that put women’s bodies and children’s lives at risk. Presumably you’re pro-life and want to save the unborn. If so, let’s honour prevention as key and recognize that ignorance can be deadly. It’s even better to discover the problem and treat it before conception and bereavement, than to give treatment after one or multiple miscarriages.
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Regardless of the woman or couple’s preferences for charting—being able to find the peak day is key—Creighton’s medical application, NaProTechnology, *is* the gold standard. The world’s solutions are the Pill; the sexual revolution and its degrading, destructive sequelae; and artificial reproductive technologies. Collectively, those are bad news for women, men, children, marriages, families, and the environment.
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Conversely, the best scientific solutions come as responses to the Popes’ urging doctors and “men of science” to go deeper than the rhythm method. Unfortunately, because the best scientific solutions have Catholic sources, they are relatively unknown. What should be the standard for female healthcare is typically advertised by word of mouth, sometimes after years of tragedy. We need to spread the word about authentic fertility care, because we’ve got great news. Gratitude and generosity are what Carolyn meant by “this is true feminism and empowerment.” To God be the glory.
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And please read my next comment. Because of what I learned as a Catholic convert, I arranged my life to uphold Church teachings on life, marriage, and the family.
@anna lisa:
“She also writhes on the couch every month, for all to behold, and orders her father and brothers to the store for Midol. It seems I have fallen short on the topic of suffering in silence.”
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Please consider that your daughter’s pain may be very real. Your first job is to compassionately help her alleviate as much of the pain as possible. Her job is to offer up only what remains. You don’t elaborate and I’m not a physician; from what you say, though, and based on my own experience, I have to wonder if this girl needs more than a chart, OTC meds, tea, and rest. Periods that are *that* disruptive aren’t normal and shouldn’t be tolerated!
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I have suffered almost every female reproductive health condition, have had four major surgeries, and have had nearly three years of infertility. (Even if no biological baby resulted, my husband and I would remain huge fans of NaProTechnology for the good it’s provided for our respective health and therefore our married vocation.)
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When I was an adolescent and young adult, my mom, who had had a much easier time menstruating, thought I was just being slothful. She was so sorry later to know how hard I was trying to cope. Even the OB-GYN who first operated on me for fibroids and cysts, but also found terrible adhesions (which can’t be visualized by ultrasound) apologized, acknowledging that I must have been in terrible pain for a long time.
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Please do whatever you reasonably can to have your daughter seen ASAP by a NaPro-certified doctor, while teaching her as well about diet and exercise and a spiritual plan. I live, write about, and teach redemptive suffering; but that beautiful theology must be balanced with wisdom and diligence in healthcare. If you or another reader wants to reach me, I can be found on our blog. God bless!
I agree with you! My sister just started charting. It really has helped her take charge of her health. She now eats better and drinks less. It’s been wonderful for her! I wish my mother would have guided me through something like this, it would have been a good bonding experience.
I wish I had known more about charting when I was in HS and college. I would get severe cramps (something my mom never had and so she always thought I was being dramatic) to the point where I would ask to be picked up from school or skip classes in college. And I was the perfect attendance type of student. Later when I was charting before my marriage I found out if I just took some Motrin a day or two before my period started I was better able to manage the pain. But I wish I knew about some of these other remedies too! Now after the birth of my first child my cramping is not nearly as severe (which someone promised to me when I was a single young adult - not helpful at the time!).
Charting has been a gift for both myself and for my marriage. I can certainly understand if some people just don’t want to do it, that is their choice, but to say it is evil or bad in some way, well that is simply not the truth. Without charting, I might never had taken a pregnancy test before I had a very early miscarriage almost a year ago. And then we might never had known about our second beautiful soul who now resides in Heaven watching our family. That knowledge, while certainly tragic at the time, has been a beautiful blessing for our family. Not to mention charting has helped confirmed due dates as well as allowed my NaPro certified doctor to accurately check progesterone levels to make sure I am not miscarrying. And if my levels are low, or not as high as he would like to see, he can prescribe natural progesterone. To be able to do everything within my power to save my baby in the womb (and then letting go when I can’t), I don’t see how that is different from helping your child when sick outside of the womb. No mother would let her child bleed to death in the backyard saying, “Oh, it must be God’s will” without trying to do something about it!!
One more comment - I suffered with severe cramping from the beginning of my menses. My parents treated me like I was faking, too, so I have ingested large amounts of various medications over the decades and especially in middle and high school, just to get through the days. Since learning about NFP and the links between nutrition and fertility, I started supplementing magnesium and boom - almost no cramps, and none bad enough to need medication. Thirty YEARS of nsaids :( and not one single doctor suggested a simple, safe, low-dose supplement. Couple to Couple League’s book did and it worked for me.
I’ve been saying this for a while. They should really be teaching the basics of NFP in high school health class!!! JUST the benefit of knowing when to carry supplies or postpone that trip to the beach is just awesome! I think it would have made my own teen years a lot less confusing since no one even told me CM was NORMAL!
I’m a new charter and wish I had learned what I now know much sooner in life. I have three daughters who will need to learn all this someday. For those more experienced with this, when do you recommend beginning with daughters? Am I their best teacher and resource, or is it more helpful to bring in someone from the outside?
Wow. So much written.
In our early years, my charting revealed a low basal temp. I also had cold hands and feet. It was almost 25 years later that I was finally treated for hypothyroidism. I am fortunate that this condition did not render me infertile. My daughters will be getting info on charting. I should have done it sooner, but this blog has really inspired me.
Father, I don’t think ‘control’ is really the issue when women learn about “how it works” for themselves. The Blessed Virgin took control when it was needed (“Do whatever He tells you”), but I doubt she had much need for charting, being Immaculately Conceived and all. Did she get cramps?
What knowing about our bodies gives women is almost like an informed conscience.
When I was ill, as my hypothyroidism had become more severe, I was told I wasn’t seeing what I was seeing. A doctor told me that since I was having periods, I was ovulating. Uh. Right. He told me I’d feel much better if I volunteered or something. He was unaware that I was nearly the volunteer queen before I became ill. I did not go back to him. I had enough werewithall to realize he was an idiot.
Because I knew that there were signs I could watch to know what was going on with fertility, I began to learn other signs for other aspects of health. I eventually diagnosed my own hypothyroidism and other issues successfully and am now feeling much better. Without the idea that there were health indicators that could be monitored, I would still be sick and unable to care for myself or my family.
All women, Catholic or otherwise, would do well to be taught some of this. Maybe start with the doctors.
Totally agree, Simcha. I went to the website of the fertility clinic you referenced but couldn’t find the charts for teens. Any suggestions on where to find them?
Many, many moons ago, my mother told me to mark down the days I got my cycle. (Looking back on it, she must have been preparing me for the Rhythm Method). I can’t remember if she told me to count ahead 28 days to try to estimate when it would come around again, or if I figured that one out on my own. Pretty much, I’ve done exactly that for the past couple of decades I eventually ordered te same book that Bearing tried to order and had no trouble obtaining it (I ordered it through a local book store; perhaps that was why. The organization came out with a new edition with a couple of years later, so perhaps they had been in the process of clearing out old stock.)
We charted using their charts for several years, but now I’m back to simply using a calendar to mark the days on. I hate charting too. So much work. Still, I wish I had had access to the information in those NFP books back when I was much younger. I probably would have saved many trips and phone calls to the doctor trying to figure out if I had some kind of problem or infection, etc.
In addition to charting, I think a copy of Marilyn Shannon’s “Fertility, Cycles, and Nutrition (4TH EDITION!!) is a must have for all women and can be used selectively with teens to help alleviate irregular cycles and PMS issues.
@Fr. Gardner. @Mrssheepcat I thank you for your caution, Fr., but you misunderstand my meaning. I wrote “control of my body and education about it” in lieu of blindly allowing an OB to put me on the pill in order to “fix” my pcos, disregarding also the possibility of a chemical abortion occurring by the same means that I would have believed was actually fixing my problems.
@mrssheepcat- thank you for clarifying what I guess I couldn’t fully express.
By understanding my own body, how it is designed, and that if I know better to follow its map laid out for me I can be cured of most or all symptoms of pcos, I am empowered. This word- empowered- is a word used by many individuals who believe that without the pill, women are not “empowered” and that they are chained up by their monthly cycle and all the hindering effects it takes on a woman’s daily life. . I use this word to their befuddlement, hoping to spark interest in the kind of true freedom that a woman can know by being fully educated about her body. I agree with you, Fr., of course we can never know and control ALL: of course faith is an integral part -an imperative part- of understanding and reconciling the mystery of my own God-given body. I am thankful, though, that through NFP, I know more and am much more aware of the amazing ability my body is naturally given to tell me what’s going on! And because of this, I have come to fully hold sacred all human life.
NFP was first taught in the US by Merecedes Wilson who was taught by the Billings in Australia. The Ovulation Method is the simplest method to learn and is taught throughout the world even to those who cannot read.
After Mercedes taught it here, it was made more complicated by others and made less accessible.
Go to http://www.familyplanning.net/ and watch the video, which is excellent and explains the basics.
Not sure if someone added this, but someone asked about NFP physicians:
http://www.cogforlife.org/prolife-physician-list/
There is a list there. I think it is limited to NFP only, so there may be some that do know about it but still prescribe, that wouldn’t be on there.
“It occurs to me that girls who chart can also anticipate and plan around other predictable features of a normal cycle, like increased sexual desire during ovulation”
So are we animals in heat now? Should I tell my daughter that according to her chart she’s not going out any dates this week?
sigh…I was saddened to see how few pro-life, Ob gyns there are at the link above.
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@Mrs. sheepcat, I wasn’t being dismissive about my daughter’s pain. My doctor prescribed pills and codeine for the same thing when I was her age. I refused to take the pills (I have NO idea why I couldn’t take that pill! I stared at it for a half hour and threw them away)Luckily, the crippling pain DID go away like magic after childbirth. I’ll try calcium magnesium for her. I guess I was just being a little cheeky about how unashamed she is…and yes…I hate. going. to. the. doctor’s. office. Even after 10 deliveries and two early miscarriages!
daisy- “Animals in heat”???? Do you doubt the scientific reality that increased hormonal activity can result in a perception of increased desire during those times? And that, for some people, the change can even be marked?
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Nature being what it is, there is undoubtedly a variety of subjective female experiences of those hormonal changes. Your daughter’s might be different from yours. And while “You’ll get really horny so you’ll be staying in!!!” is an absurd way to talk about it, telling your daughter that “Those hormones we talked about can lead to increased feelings of closeness and desire for closeness, especially sexual. So be aware that it is a possibility,” is perfectly reasonable. Keep her in? Not unless she is too young to know not to act on every single impulse she has…in which case I would guess she is too young to be going out on unsupervised dates anyway.
re: the prolife obgyn link, I looked at that yesterday, and there are few. None in my state, whatsoever.
RE Daisy,
Actually, consider it like knowing you’re in the middle of PMS. If I know my anger is due to (at least in part) PMS then I make sure NOT to act on it until after that passes. While in that state I’m liable to do things that seem quite reasonable at the time, that at any other time of the month I would be shocked to have done for so little an intensive. Paying attention to increased sexual desire is the same idea. If I know this then I’ll be more careful about dating or going somewhere where I’ll meet guys. Not because I might do something immoral, but because I’ll be more likely to think male human whom I barely know is absolute perfection. I’ll know my hormones are saying “He’s male and most likely fertile, MAKE BABIES NOW!” Instead I’ll wait and see what I think of this man at another time. I’m not a teen though, but a 30+ woman who’s clock is ticking.
Now if they could make an App for teen charting….
@Mrssheepcat, I reread what you wrote. I’m so sorry you went through all of that. I’ll keep a sharp eye on my daughter. Thank you for your advice. My daughter and I tease each other all the time. It’s not that we’re irreverent toward serious topics, it just helps us not to be too serious too much of the time. That’s what PMS is for. Oops, there I go again. I actually freak out over these things too, so humor keeps me “even keel”.
I think it is great for unmarried women to chart - all kinds of health benefits, plus just getting to know your body. I would caution about teaching it to teens though… you have to make sure they are very firmly rooted in a commitment to chastity. Perhaps it’s best to start in the 20s when they are a bit more mature (really, it depends on the girl). My Catholic high school used to teach NFP to the girls, but they had to stop when they realized some of them were using it to have sex with their boyfriends and avoid pregnancy.
So my question is where do I go to learn how to chart? I can totally understand the benefits of it and always wanted to do it, but my girlfriends didn’t see the point of it until you’re engaged or married. I was slightly discouraged by that so I never did started.
I know nothing about it and would love a few good resources—websites, books, etc.! Thanks in advance, Simcha and followers!
I may be in the minority, but I don’t understand the concern about unmarried teenagers using charting to avoid unwed pregnancy. An unchaste teenager who isn’t interested in following Christian teaching about sexuality would be more likely to obtain the free condoms or pills that mainstream health educators are so eager to give them - easier to use, no commitment. It takes the virtue of restraint simply to use charting for birth control. I’m not saying there aren’t girls who will do it, but I don’t think they would be common and I think if they didn’t have full NFP information, they would either get artificial contraceptives or just get pregnant. Which frankly I don’t see as an acceptable alternative to unchaste charting. Besides, I know if I’d had information about when I was fertile, I’d have been less likely to be unchaste - no way I was going to be willing to have sex as a young unmarried woman on a night that I knew I was fertile, and even that temporary abstinence might have made me think more about what I was doing on other nights and why. It is very hard to use this method with an uncommited partner, so that makes casual recreational sex much more difficult.
I don’t believe in witholding information from people because they might use it wrongly, not information about their own bodies. They have the right to that information and how they use it is on their own conscience. This is not much different from the very strict Catholics who don’t believe even married couples should be allowed to have this information unless they are at death’s door and a priest has signed off on it, giving them permission.
Rebecca, a great online program for charting your cycle (using Billings) is Billings Mentor - just type this into Google and it will come up. It is fantastic - I did know the method already, but if you are a beginner it is an excellent place to learn - explains everything clearly, step by step, and is so easy to use!
Until I read this post, I didn’t realize that “tail end brown bleeding” was even a thing. I think I’ve been experiencing that for the last several months. I tried looking it up online and could only find stuff related to fertility/infertility.
Does anyone know anything else about this issue? If I’m not worried about fertility (I would be fine not having any more children), is there any other reason I would want to address/fix this? My periods have been regular; no painful cramps; hulk-like pms persists (which, sadly, is normal for me), so maybe that would be another symptom.
Any insight would be appreciated. Thanks!
Rebecca, I learned to chart in one method at least by crashing an NFP course at my local parish. Some parishes have an NFP requirement or can at least point you toward resources. Unfortunately, it’s all geared to couples, which is my complaint.
Tiffany, I’ve been told it can be a sign of a low-level infection, but it’s not really a concern unless there are more symptoms or you are trying to conceive. I’m actually charting for the reason that this is just one symptom and I want to know if other symptoms are connected.
What, what, “tail end brown bleeding”? Will someone please explain to me exactly what that is and why it is bad?
Oh, and I want to plug for Couple to Couple League. They are not perfect, but right after I got married I joined the League in order to get some support, although I’d already taught myself the sympto-thermal method from books. I received wonderful phone counseling from a lovely nurse, very nourishing in regards both to my physical health and my spiritual health. I will always be grateful to them and have directed a number of women with fertility problems to them for help.
As I said, I just learned this was a condition, but for me: I have 2-3 days of a regular period and then an additional 3-5 days of residual dark brownish blood. Never enough to require more than a panty liner, but always enough for me to consider my period not over.
Apparently, it can be a symptom of PCOS or endometriosis, but since I have no other symptoms, I think it may just be an indicator of a hormonal imbalance (which would be NO surprise to me, given my horrible mood swings).
Printing this article in this venue just feeds the catholic preoccupation with everything gynecological.
@Judy - I know, right? WHEN will we get over our bizarre preoccupation with women’s health and happiness? It’s sick, that’s what it is.
ha! <3 you, Sim!
I’ve known a significant number of women with gynecological problems and not all of them were Catholic. I will get over my preoccupation with women’s health when more women are healthy and not suffering every month from what should be a normal, healthy part of their lives.
Rebecca, A doctor who knows NFP and NaPro technology would probably be able to answer that question better but I know that in my case I’ve been told that it can be a sign that your ovaries are not able to produce enough progesterone on their own when it is needed. It can be a sign that if one was to get pregnant the ovaries may or may not be able to produce enough progesterone which may lead to a miscarriage (of course there are many other reasons this can happen). It could also be a symptom of something else, although I don’t know enough to know what that would be. The best way to know is to find a NaPro doctor near you or travel far to see one. Sometimes a NFP teacher may know this information too, sometimes not.
And for anyone looking to get started on charting, see if you can set up an informational session with an instructor. I know at our parish there is a Fertility Care Practitioner (NFP teacher) will do the introductory session for free and you don’t have to be married or engaged. Good luck!
Someone may have already posted this link, but here is where you can find a practitioner or medical provider:
http://www.fertilitycare.org/
And I know that is only for the Creighton Method (the Fertility Care) but it’s the one I know. I am sure any of the other methods have similar practitioners or teachers who would be willing to meet with you!
Tiffany, et al., the tail end brown bleeding can be a sign of low progesterone which would absolutely contribute to your “hulk like” PMS!! A NaPro doc can help correct the progesterone level and resolve your PMS. I’m a Creighton practitioner, and have seen this scenario so often. These women feel better on the very first cycle of treatment and even their husbands and children have thanked me-please look into it at www.fertilitycare.org. And to those disappointed at the few pro life docs listed at http://www.cogforlife.org/prolife-physician-list/ please see www.fertilitycare.org and scroll down the left bar to “Find a Medical Consultant”, they are all pro life, NFP only docs.:).
Huh. This is a question that never occurred to me. I started charting temps soon after my now-husband and I started dating, and I didn’t think twice about it. I anticipated having to pick a wedding date, and wanted to do so with children in mind. I used graph paper because I didn’t have actual charts until we started NFP classes as part of our marriage preparation. It did not occur to me that others might see that as a bad idea. I think that knowledge of one’s fertility can only be to our advantage, and perhaps might limit some treatment attempts like the Pill and IVF for reproduction-related issues.
“There is nothing wrong with a woman simply living her life without knowing the first thing about her cycle, if that’s what makes sense to her. But there are many reasons to chart, none of which have to do with trying to play God, or lacking in faith or trust, or being selfish or controlling. Charting is simply a tool which is available to women; and postponing pregnancy is only one of many reasons to chart.”
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Most people would think it normal and healthy to know how your own body functions and not assume that it necessarily has to do with reproduction. Anyone who trusts their health to God is a damn fool. And people who promote others to trust in God are demented and/or wicked.
MrsSheepcat, what is your blog URL?
I have learned the Sympto-thermal, Creighton, and the Marquette Method of NFP (I married right out of college and am very fertile :). By far, I have found Marquette to be the most modern and user friendly method. Go to: nfp.marquette.edu. All of the info you need to get started is right on the website and the charts are all online, as well. They have really great forums on their website that you can post questions (anonymously) and one of the NFP doctors and nurses will answer them within a day or two. You do need to pony up for a fertility monitor and test strips (I use Persona that I bought from a UK website) but that $20 a month or so is well worth it to me for the piece of mind that having a device to monitor my hormone levels and cross check my fertility signs brings. Yay for modern technology!
@ LLB, The Sheepcat and I blog at http://thesheepfold.typepad.com/ and you can reach me at mrs_sheepcat[at]catholic.org. When as a single woman I approached teachers of a different method, sadly I was discouraged from learning charting. I wish I’d found Creighton and NaProTechnology years before I did. I’m not a practitioner or medical consultant, just a hugely satisfied client and patient. My understanding is that if one is already using another method to chart but can identify the “peak day,” one can normally continue with that method to access NaProTechnology; but I learned charting and got medical attention at the same FertilityCare Centre.
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Here’s a grateful column I wrote immediately prior to being courted by The Sheepcat:
http://www.theinterim.com/issues/religion/touching-the-cloak/. One correction I would now make is that the scripturally unnamed woman with unusual bleeding is known to tradition as Bernice (she is almost certainly not the incestuous Bernice mentioned in Acts 25). Actually our favourite Japanese-American artist has compiled the epilogue to St Bernice’s story, as told by *five* ecclesiastical historians:
http://www.danielmitsui.com/hieronymus/index.blog/1848869/bronze-statue-of-christ-erected-by-st-bernice/.
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What a beautiful patroness for women (and men) who’ve had reproductive health problems! As I said: “Remember that cloak tassel? Under Mosaic law, it was a reminder to keep the commandments. It is only through God that we have received the breath of life and we are meant to live according to his plan. Naprotechnology helps lead suffering women like me to touch the cloak of Christ, so we can indeed live life to the fullest. Thank you, Paul VI, and to God be the glory.”
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A word to those who wish to visit our blog: My husband, The Sheepcat, has a rather unusual conversion story and therefore we have an unusual background to our marriage. I’m happy to see the prolific feedback for this particular column of Simcha’s, and I wouldn’t want to derail the focus of the commentary here. You’re welcome to explore our blog and visit the “Best of” links (from the left margin) for the backstory, and to leave comments about that unfolding story on our blog. Suffice it to say that as converts to Catholicism we uphold the fullness of Church teaching, and we’re delighted to see how the best healthcare and pastoral care have emerged from that teaching.
Does anyone have any recommendations on resources for teens? I am trying to find something to give my niece. She is an only child with divorced parents and her mother is not very involved in speaking with her about puberty, etc. Unfortunately I don’t live near her, but I just cringe thinking about her starting high school this year and the only source of information coming from health class, friends or some random website she chooses. She’s a bit hostile to the Catholic faith right now, so any resource that pushes a lot of theology probably won’t go over well. Any help is appreciated, thanks!
Just wanted to chime in—charting helped me determine that I had lost too much weight one time (went on a new diet… suddenly it took me forever to ovulate).. It also allowed me to inform my midwife that the EDD for my last pregnancy was incorrect based on my period- I had ovulated early that month. My due date was pushed back 4 days, which was good because he arrived 8 days before that (so 12 days before the original due date.) It’s also great to know when I’m getting my period when I see the temperature drop. I am definitely teaching my girls all about charting when they’re a little older.
Hi,
I luv this site so thot perhaps there’s something useful here 4 U. I think of U daily & pray 4 U and V. each nite, specifically to St. Gianna Molla.
And have good prayer warrior friends doing the same. Keeping this short - more later.
W. much love,
Aunt Pat
Learned of NFP and charting over 30 years ago and it was a God send. My beautiful children were conceived not always when I planned but at least I had the knowledge if we had really needed to abstain.
Pre menopause was probably the most difficult time physically but charting helped me understand why I felt like I did during those years and 10 years later I have put away my books and charts for good and look forward to grandchildren.
@Bearing - The Diocese my daughter and her husband live in include charting along with a mentor for several months in the Pre Cana classes. I managed to dig out my very out dated “Lily” covered book and passed it along to her with a few pretty things at her pre wedding shower. The women my age who were present laughed with us but I know that like myself, they were all grateful that 30 years ago we at least had that book and the support of like minded friends in the midst of the “sexual revolution”.
Great post Simcha! :)
@JD
My mom wanted to name me Billings.
The primary purpose of the sacrament of Catholic marriage is for the pro-creation of children.
All this ‘Catholic Contraception’ mentality makes me very sad indeed. It is a clear abuse of a generous Church.
Yes chart or put a dot on the calendar by all means but how many babies planned by God have been obliterated off the face of the Earth due to our ‘cleverness’
NFP ! Take away the word ‘Natural’ what do we have left ?
*@Mary Lou: Fertility care is the preferred term in the Creighton community. Fertility care, not control. Does that help to address at least part of your concern?
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As to the rest: Is natural family planning / fertility care being abused somewhere? Probably. But before we get specific, please read Simcha’s classic post, “Why doesn’t the Church just make a list?” Please. I’ll wait!
http://simchafisher.wordpress.com/2011/03/23/why-doesnt-the-church-just-make-a-list/
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Now. You asked what we’d have left without the word “natural.” Well, I personally would have been put on The not-so-natural Pill. And probably would have had even more surgery. Please see my earlier comment with a link to my column about that. So I’d still be infertile or subfertile, but I might have also been at risk of an abortifacient effect. My medical symptoms would be untreated and exacerbated. My husband would still have married me, but we would have a harder time growing together spiritually, helping each other get to heaven, and spiritually parenting. And if I declined the Pill and managed to conceive, probably all of our children would have been miscarried.
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With Creighton, and with its medical application NaProTechnology, I’ve had the benefits listed above: medical attention, assistance with mood, motivation for chastity, and confidence that we are trying to achieve pregnancy at the right times and that we are taking reasonable steps to guard against my risk of miscarriage. We’ve been supported by a community that taught us essential tools to sustain a Catholic marriage. We’ve been challenged to adore God. Having learned to do right by our bodies, we’ve been even readier to do right by our souls. And we’ve gained a deeper respect for sexual complementarity, which has helped us to build up the Church through our apostolate.
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Let’s please remember that modern methods of NFP/fertility care arose in response to the popes’ pleas to doctors and “men of science” to delve further into what was then the “rhythm method” and was of limited value for women/couples like me/us. Go deeper: not bad advice for any of us.
Long, painful or heavy periods are often the first signs of hypothyroidism, before other symptoms develop and before it shows up on standard thyroid tests.
Interesting. Your article made sense. Fr. Gardner made an excellent point about the BVM and all the saints throughout history who somehow managed to get to heaven even without charting. He must know something about the intrisic value of human suffering and also Mary Lou hit the nail on the head about marriage…that it’s about having children, not avoiding them. Your marriage must be valid, being so open to life. Isn’t one of the impediments to valid matrimony: “total ignorance of what marriage is”. Bless you for your courage. You are a sheep among wolves here.
Somebody else said: “Anyone who trusts their health to God is a **** fool. And people who promote others to trust in God are demented and/or wicked”—a comment which wasn’t responded to…kind of odd in a catholic paper, don’t you think?
For me the important thing is to get to heaven. If you can get there charting, go for it. Just do it trusting in God’s providence. Pain and sickness are not the worst things in the world. They can actually be helpful for mortification if accepted willingly and lovingly for God’s greater glory and for the salvation of souls. The worst thing in the world is sin. We must avoid even near occasions of it. And wives can sin against chastity just as virgins can. Virgins do it by immodest dress and reading impure books…wives by trying to change their “I do” into “I don’t” when it comes to refusing the debt to their husbands whenever it is requested (within reason) and yes, even during the fertile times.
People who don’t read articles carefully shouldn’t comment on them.
This was an article about why UNMARRIED women chart, hence the problem of married women refusing their husband’s reasonable requests for marital intimacy is irrelevant here. Even if the discussion were about NFP for married couples, the point of the method is that both spouses agree to refrain from relations at certain times; they aren’t “refusing the debt”, or if they are, that has nothing to do with NFP.
Since this is an article about why unmarried women would chart their cycles, the use of the method to space pregnancies isn’t really relevant, either. The article itself and nearly every post responding to it have been about problems women have with their cycles and how charting can help. Chiding women for not being docile enough or for not getting married primarily to have babies is out of place here.
Here’s a question. If the wife wants to avoid a pregnancy (no special or extraordinary circumstances) and she charts well enough to determine her fertile time and precisely in the middle of the fertile time her husband, who is sane, sober and faithful expresses his desire to make use of marriage right then, knowing full well that a pregnancy could very well result from it…should she:
a. go ahead and expect to get pregnant
b. tell him to wait a few days
c. it depends on something else
Andrew - Unmarried women should not be having sex. Ergo your question is irrelevant.
Although I can’t resist the obvious response of…
When did you stop beating your wife?
a. Years ago
b. Days ago
c. Depends on something else.
All right, ladies, since we’re doing multiple choice questions, here’s one for you:
If you have long, difficult menstrual cycles with lots of cramping and heavy bleeding, do you:
A. go on the Pill to feel better,
B. start charting your cycles with the help of a knowledgeable GYN so you can figure out what the problem is, or
C. suffer the pain and bleeding docilely because trying to do anything about it means that you are a bad Catholic, don’t have enough babies, and are refusing sex to your husband, even though you are unmarried and this is in fact nonsensical.?
Wow. Such a simple straight forward question can’t even get a catholic answer. I won’t write anymore. Please think and pray very hard and reread the 1st ten numbers of Humanae Vitae and of course Casti Connubii and the Bible. You can’t say you weren’t told.
http://www.vatican.va/holy_father/pius_xi/encyclicals/documents/hf_p-xi_enc_31121930_casti-connubii_en.html
http://www.vatican.va/holy_father/paul_vi/encyclicals/documents/hf_p-vi_enc_25071968_humanae-vitae_en.html
http://www.drbo.org/chapter/53001.htm
Andrew, you did not aska simple question but an off topic and rhetorical one. You are asking about a situation which is irrelevant for unmarried women. Plus the questioned is falsely setup. From the start there is a prob even before you get to the choices. The couple should decide together if they have grave reasons for truong to avoid a pregnancy. Ergo the man should be on board and care enough about his wife to die to his own desires for the good of his bride. I’m pretty sure the term marriage debt is not in the Bible, however “men love your wives as Christ loved the church, laying down his life for her salvation.” is.
Sorry I take part of that back, marriage debt comes from a translation of 1corr7:3, ” The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.”
We had already lost this one-sided argument with Andrew when he first posted, calling the women on this thread “wolves”, snarking that the BVM got to Heaven without charting (and therefore the rest of us who are not Immaculate ought to pretend we are by not charting, I guess), and taking this sly tone that suggests he knows what our marital sins are. Why try to talk sense into him? He already knows all married Catholic women are selfishly trying to avoid pregnancy and doling out sex to our husbands like strict mothers rationing candy to their kids. Married Catholic men, on the other hand, are always eager to have sex and one more baby, right? And all of this somehow applies to unmarried women ...
Can you stand some comments from a guy? I thought I would be the only guy writing until at the end of the thread I see there’s one guy (Andrew) whose purpose here appears to be to just cause trouble. I know it can be hard for a man to understand the problems many women have during their cycles. But to me it’s just a plain case of being empathetic. Guys don’t go through all the hormonal changes that women go through every month. And to me I think it’s amazing that women can be sane at all with all these fluctuations! It really make you wonder just who ever came up with the therm “the weaker sex”. I know I don’t see it.
I have to admit, I skipped most of this thread as it does not pertain to me, my wife never had PMS, and she is past child-bearing years, and both of our children were boys. But there is some mental illness in some of the women in our family (bi-polar) and I can certainly see where some of them could benefit from something like this.
Anyway, I think it’s great and I’ve going to get this info to my nephew and his wife. She is a popular Catholic singer in West Michigan, and they have an apostolate called “Chastity Force”. I think their ministry could benefit from this info.
James, I think it’s good when a man will comment on these issues with sensitivity. I’m grateful for your remarks and think your idea is a good one.
Is there a link between the fluctuations of bipolar disorder and women’s hormonal fluctuations?
I spent my adolescence and young adult life as essentially what amounts to being a professional athlete (ballet dancer,) and had several times where because of athletic performance and low calorie intake where I had amennorhea for months. I had to start tracking my periods to avoid another complication of “female athlete triad”—-osteoporosis. Because of the amennorhea, I got put on calcium supplements. No, I’m not, nor have I ever been, anorexic. I always ate properly, but if you are doing two or three ballet classes a day, you go through calories pretty quickly.
I’m glad my doctor was able to identify the possibility of osteopenia with me, and get me on the supplements. I’m now in late middle age, and was in an accident the other day, resulting in severe back and knee pain. They X-rayed me in the emergency room, and thankfully, no fractures. The ER doctor commented that he was amazed at my high bone density at my age. If I hadn’t charted out my periods when I was a kid, and my doctor didn’t have a suspicion of osteopenia, I’d probably be in a cast today.
If a teenage girl is athletic and slender, she really ought to track her periods to ensure that her skeletal system is mineralizing as it should. It could be a real health issue later in life if she doesn’t discover it and get medical attention.
@ Rebecca
I don’t know if there is a solid link between hormonal fluctuations and bi-polar but there certainly are people who believe there might be.
From my reading and discussing with people it seems Endocrinology is not a solid field of medical study so I think it behooves people who are ill or who love one who is ill to do the research. Charting can be very helpful to see patterns which may be related to female hormones, or perhaps to something else.
I am not bi-polar but have found charting helpful in tracking down other conditions.
The charming answer
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