Very well said. Good form and thank you!

Thanks for this, Simcha.  I’ve been struggling with this myself lately.  Last month I miscarried a thirteen week pregnancy.  I’ve been agonizing over whether to try to get pregnant again right away.  It’s great to hear someone put it like this: it’s not about the road, it’s about the destination.

All this talk about babies and no babies is getting to me.  I’m going to go take a pregnancy test.

I love your writing! I’m going to quote you in my blog!

Excellent and I agree completely.  There are very few things we are forbidden to do, compared with what we are allowed to do.  Since disobeying God’s will is always a sin, in my opinion there must be very few things that he specifically wills that we do, but leaves us free to choose our path among the nearly infinite possible paths that are in accord with his will.

@Agellius - yes, it sounds very Garden of Eden-ish when you put it that way.  There were SO many things they could have eaten, and remained in paradise, but they had to go for that one forbidden tree!

Good post, on a really important point.  St. Thomas says something helpful when he addresses the question of whether doing good requires willing the Will of God.  Many of his contemporaries had gotten tied in knots about this: if God happens to will that your dad die tomorrow, doesn’t that mean you have to will it too, to have a good will? 

St. Thomas says: “We can know in a general way what God wills.  For we know that whatever God wills, he wills it under the aspect of good.  Consequently, whoever wills a thing under any aspect of good, has a will conformed to the Divine Will, as to the reason of the thing willed.  But we know not what God wills in particular: and in this respect we are not bound to conform our will to the Divine Will.” Beautifully simple: just choose the good as best you can, based on your knowledge of the good; it’s all you CAN do.

What a timely post for us! I was recently presented with the opportunity to go back to work, though it was full-time—something DH and I both were hesitant to pursue—but with a good organization that could have meant a very big financial blessing for our family.  We were faced with trying to determine which one of us would stay home with the kids, as it appeared that both scenarios would have been just fine.  During the hiring process, though, we learned (somewhat, though not totally unexpectedly) that we were pregnant with baby #3!  And it also turned out that, financially, things would not been quite as promising as we originally thought.  So, I turned down the offer and we are now trying to focus on preparing for another child rather than figuring out a new commute.  Both are blessings, to be sure, but it appears that, for now, the scenic route is the way for our family.  :-)

Amen and amen.  I get tired of people trying so earnestly to figure out “what God’s will is” for their life, as if there is a tightrope they are walking, and one false move, and they will irretrievably fall. God works in and through all aspects of our lives, and he will get us to where he wants us, by any number of “scenic routes”.

And here’s a thought, if you want a black-and-white answer from God:  “Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” (I Thess.5:16-18)

Love it! Beautifully written and elegantly expressed. I am sharing this one :) I especially like your analogy about the roads we take.

I love this!  I know people who personally struggle with walking that supposedly “fine line” between God’s will and evil.  One guy even told me once that he was afraid of making the wrong choice and being miserable forever.  There is a temptation to want a black-and-white answer, because it relieves us of a lot of liability. :)  But God gave us reason and free will and He wants us to use them.  I’ve come to the conclusion that the worst thing we could do is to let ourselves become paralyzed out of fear.  When making a decision, we need to simply move toward what we want, remaining open to hearing “No”.  As long as we are trying to do His will, He will guide us, either blessing our choice or closing the door.

Dear Mouse,

I know how it feels to lose a pregnancy at 13 weeks.  I’m so sorry for your loss, and I will pray for you as you discern the next step.  God bless you!

I love this - thank you so much!  I was raised with the idea that God had one “will” for my life and I was supposed to figure it out… but that, at the same time, I was supposed to gratefully realized that whatever happened in my life (ie, whatever “God sent me”) was His Will.  Especially since the latter included everything (deaths in the family, chronic illness, etc.), all this never sat right with me.  I so appreciate the concept that we can choose lots of roads, none of which particularly annoys or irritates or bothers God.  Also, I think, just because something happens along one of those roads does not mean it was “sent by God” (a flat tire, for instance).  If God does (as we know He does) love us, I think he is probably just as sad as we are about flat tires—both figuratively and literally!

Great post and really applicable to many situations-not just baby vs. no baby. We have an adopted daughter and for years it always irked me when very well meaning people would say ‘Oh, she was always meant to be in your family’ or something to the effect that her being our daughter was God ordained from the beginning of eternity.

Finally, I realised that what bothers me about statements like that is it’s also saying ‘oh God wanted her bio parents to abandon her on the steps of that orphange and then live there for 8 months until you came and rescued her.’ Um, no.

I came to realise that while adoption is special and wonderful, infant abandonment was never part of His plan. I feel that we are her ‘plan B’. Her adoption is God’s beautiful way of allowing good to be brought out of bad, virtue and love out of sin. In our case we made a rotten decision to sterilize after our 4th child leading us to consider adoption. I know that was never part of His plan either. We may stink up God’s plans for us, His Divine Will, but He’s always got that plan B, if we look for it.

And the fall in the Garden of Eden leading to the amazing sacrifice of our Lord is the quintessential plan B, right?!

Love this post!

A meditation on the parable of The Rich man’s meditation ( the occasion of this parable : Dispute of two brothers on their father’s estate) the lesson of this parable: Folly of reliance upon wealth ( Luke 12:16)
Application of the teaching of the catechism of the catholic church ( 7 commandment ) #2404 ” In his use of things, man should regard the external goods he legitimately owns not merely as exclusive to himself but common to others also, in the sense that they can benefit others as well as himself.” The ownership of any property makes it’s holder a stressed of providence , with the task of making it fruitful and communicating it’s benefits to others, first of all his family.”

Thank you for explaining, through concrete examples, what was stated in Veratatis Splendor, with regard to true liberty and freedom.  JP2 said that free will was intended to give us the opportunity to choose among multiple goods - not to choose between good and evil.  Choosing an evil is an abuse of free will - choosing one good over another good is the right use of our will, our intellects, and our emotions.
While I was in college, a friend of my mother was leading a prayer group, and when she came to me to pray, she said she saw Jesus holding out both of His hands, and in each hand was a gold coin.  She didn’t know what it meant - just that she was supposed to tell me what she saw.  I didn’t know at the time either… not until several years later when I was discerning God’s will for my life, particularly with regard to a vocation to the priesthood or to the married life.
What I eventually came to understand about this vision is that God was holding out two very good options to me - but I had to pick one.  It was not “guessing what’s in the gold box”, but rather picking between one gold coin (becoming a priest) or another, just as valuable, gold coin (becoming a husband and father).
The reason they are both gold is because you can do God’s will in both, while also enjoying a full life - “seek first the Kingdom of God and all these will be added to you”.  Being a priest, you have many spiritual children, and get to share many of the joys and burdens that comes with natural children (including the occasional wake-up call in the middle of the night to take care of them).  Being a husband and father, you can also be an active participant in the ministries of the Catholic Church: EME, Lector, Respect Life, and even eventually the diaconate.