The baby, with her Svengali eyes, hypnotized me into believing that she was sleeping through the night.
We would solemnly put her into her bed promptly at 9:30, and she would sleep until 6am.
After several nights of this, I would actually be in tears by morning, unable to believe that it was already morning again, and sleeping time was all over, and why was I so tired, when the baby was sleeping through the night?
Sure, she would get up for a little snack when we came into bed and disturbed her; and occasionally, when she has a cold, or was fighting off a cold, or recovering from a cold, she would need to get hydrated; and all of us, including babies who can’t tell time, were a little confused by daylight savings time; and as long as the sun is almost up, or almost up, that counts as breakfast time. And of course she’s often teething. But basically, she was sleeping through the night, I would say.
For as much as two hours at a stretch, all through the night.
I couldn’t make toast without consulting the recipe. I would try and start the car when it was already running. I would use “thing” to substitute not only for nouns, but for any part of speech, as in: “Could you please thing this thing in the other thing over there? Yes, you. You Thing, with the red thing on.”
And of course I lost things — school books, hot cups of coffee, children ... you know, things. I spent a good half hour hunting for a misplaced bag of parsley, which couldn’t have roamed very far from the soup pot of origin, could it? By sheer chance, while searching for my keys, I discovered the parsley tucked safely inside the dishwasher, where, oh yeah, I put it because, um, because of some reason, surely.
In light of this mental disintegration, my husband suggested that the baby might sleep better across the room, where she can’t easily see, hear or smell me. She can still be nice and close in case an eagle breaks into the house and I need to be there for her, but a little distance will encourage her to quit sucking the life force out of me night after night.
Well, it worked. She now sleeps from 9:30 to 7:30 — for real, as in remaining quietly in her crib, and waking up happy and hungry. She’s been doing this for almost two weeks. I’ve been getting 7 or 8 hours of sleep, day after day ... and I’m still stumbling through my life like an amnesiac with a death wish.
Yesterday I lost three-and-a-half pounds of ground beef. Where could that meat be, where could it be? The previous day, I had forgotten to take it out in time to have hamburgers, but left it out so that, if I forgot again the next day, it would at least be partially defrosted. But then I forgot to put it away. So where was it now?
So I asked my husband, who knows me, What the hell did I do with that meat? and he had an inspiration: Maybe it’s in the washing machine! In fact, it must be in the washing machine. That’s where I put it to defrost, because — I dunno, to make room in the refrigerator for some laundry?
Well, I’m sorry to disappoint you. I know you were looking forward to reading about how I didn’t notice that the meat was in the washing machine until the horrible, gristly disaster was complete — how I let all the cycles run, including “agitate,” which is very hard on chopped meat — how I didn’t even notice how oleaginous the wet clothes were, even though all the hundreds of tiny drainage holes were each stuffed with a wad of raw, soapy hamburger — and chunked the whole meaty mess into the dryer, and of course set it to “high heat,” and how now my husband will be getting sock jerky for lunch and hamburger khaki casserole for supper for the next few days, which is not covered under the warranty.
Nope. All that happened was that I located the meat while the washer was only half-full of water and soap. The situation was saved before any kind of whirring, churning or centripetal force came into play.
The worst part was that the blood leaked all over the clothes; but if you think about it, that’s really pretty good timing in a bad situation. It’s like breaking your leg in the lobby of the hospital, or punching your brother while in the confession line: At least you're already in the right place.
So, the hamburger got defrosted. And clean! (Yes yes, I threw it away. It sat out for 36 hours, was sopping wet, and smelled like a combination of a mountain breeze and warm, wet meat. We’re just going to have to eat socks or something tonight.)
So that’s one mystery solved: I did find the meat. But where did I put my brain? Now let me see, I was using it to check some math homework the other night, and then I put it down somewhere ...
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Thanks!
As a mom of 8, I absolutely hear you.
love this!!!! See, I always blamed my ... what’s the word? It’s what you call when you used to know something and forgot how to know things anymore… anyway, I blamed that on “placenta brain:” whereby half of your brain is sucked dry by a growing baby, then delivered with the placenta, never to be seen or heard from again. Then, with each subsequent child, you have half again remaining each time.
*
I used to be a really smart person, and I used to have a really good memory. I think I need a St. Anthony key chain that comes with some kind of alarm so that at the push of a button your keys will chirp and you won’t ever again spend 28 minutes looking for them when you’re already late for something - I don’t remember what, but I know we were supposed to be there by now.
—But I’d probably lose the button thingy too.
I swear by fish oil for omega 3s to cure placenta brain. They suck omega 3s out of our brains to build their own, both in utero and via our milk. I have my brain back, and it’s wonderful. Though sleep deprivation is still a killer—yesterday the lady at the bank had to correct my deposit slip. Five hours of sleep and I can’t even do three column addition. Sigh.
I regularly confuse the words “microwave” and “dishwasher”, as in, “Take this frozen pizza and go heat it up in the dishwasher! And it’s your turn to load the microwave!”
At least my kids think it’s funny.
I signed my kids up for swimming lessons, and marked the start date down as June 23.
.
It was actually June 2. Oops.
@Lynn: interesting suggestion! How much do you take?
I still miss having babies. Thanks for reminding me that it isn’t all as rosy as I seem to recall. Heaven only knows why I can’t remember that all on my own.
1000mg of the omega3s per day, which is generally three big capsules of fish oil. I took twice that for a while.
My husband swears by fish oil, long line something-or-other omega 3s (6s?), to help the brain as well. He tells me that beef and milk used to have as much of the omega watchamacallits when they weren’t corn fed, but grazed naturally. Farm raised fish have the same problem. So am I taking the fish oil? Breaking the bank at Whole Foods? Ugh. No. I’m in denial. Personally, I have a theory on “mother’s brain”. I kind of like it some of the time. Remember the kid from the movie “The Descendents” who was the boyfriend of the oldest daughter? He kind of looked stupified all the time, but he was chill—the happiest one in the bunch. (stoned?) Ha ha. Who actually WANTS to connect all of the dots, ALL of the time? Your brain would explode with all that you need to do, or potentially need to do, or in good conscience SHOULD do, but you haven’t thought about it. If none of this makes sense, ummmmm….(stupified smile) Well, you know…whatever.
Okay, the guilt worked. I Just took two capsules of Trader Joe’s Omega-3 fatty acids 1100 mg fish oil 500 mg EPA and DHA—whatever the heck THAT is. I’m seriously afraid of Alzheimer’s.
I chuckled out loud at “eat socks or something” :)
Sleep deprivation actually takes significantly longer to recover from than people think. Like several times as long as you’ve been deprived.
While babies are wonderful, remember that sleep deprivation, exposure to really loud noises, and really annoying music is what we do to people we think are terrorists to break them, so it’s ok not to love ever single second of it or to need a break.
oh, golly, Simcha,
hate to be a meanie here, but. Nurse that baby! Attachment parenting, with the added benefit of natural spacing. Sometimes with only two children it seems that it can’t possibly be done, but soldier on. Put priorities in place, even if that means sitting in the sun with the sprinkler on for the little kids.
Jane
(mother of 8, number 7 with autism)(grandmother of 8 and counting)
I expected the meat to be in the dishwasher.
Hi, Jane - I really do understand that you’re trying to be helpful, but your comment was a little frustrating to me. My baby sleeps in a cosleeper next to my bed, and still nurses at least a dozen times a day. I returned to fertility when she was nursing throughout the night, with no supplements, no pacifier, etc. I need to not be falling asleep behind the wheel with my nine kids in the car. This seems more important to me than being able to claim a particular parenting label. I am soldiering on. This is how I soldier on.
Thanks, Simcha! As soon as I saw the title, I told my husband: “Simcha has the answers to my problem today!!!” We’re in the sleep no more than 2hr at a time and sometimes up for 2hr in the night, while both my husband and I are in separate rooms to get some sleep stage… and I only have one! I laughed so hard! Good for the soul! p.s. we love your blog!
Thank you for a good laugh! My 16 month old just started sleeping through the night a few weeks ago. It still takes moms a few weeks to catch up on sleep after the babies figure it out I feel. My world is a bit brighter these days! And I haven’t found the can opener in the fridge meat drawer lately (true story!)
Thanks for the laugh, Simcha! Am in the process of trying to night-wean my guy with an eye toward moving him out of our bed and into crib. I need my brain back, too!
Jane, I’m very sure you’re trying to be helpful, but the lecturing thing just isn’t appropriate. I practice attachment parenting but I find the tendency of AP-ers to push their lifestyle on others annoying. Let Simcha be Simcha!
I’m pregnant with my first right now and your stories scare the crap out of me, however, I’m going to print, categorize and bind them (while my noggin’ is still properly rested) for future reference when I’m sitting on the floor crying because I can’t find something. LOL. :) I think your stories will keep me going through the tough times becuase I’ll know that you managed to survive it all with your sense of humor intact. Thanks for the inspiration, comfort and encouragement…in advance.
Soldier on with your bad self, you awesome mama you.
Simcha,
My daughter and I have been rereading columns by Erma Bombeck and I was just saying the other day how we don’t have any columnists who compare. Then I read this and thought, “Simcha is our modern-day Erma!” You are a treasure.
That whole nursing/fertility thing is a tricky business. Among other more worthy aspirations, I looked at those night feedings as my Catholic fertility regulator. (Every time the baby sucks, the pituitary sends that signal to suppress ovulation.) Ha ha, I nursed “with a contraceptive mentality”. But some of us are just naturally born fertility goddesses eh? :) I used to go round and round with my dear old ob-gyn. The man was a saint, but for the life of him, he couldn’t understand why it was okay for me to suppress ovulation naturally, while considering it immoral to use a fake hormone to do the same…I get the difference, but what if science came up with a natural means to assist the woman’s pituitary gland to step up the job of the breastfeeding “suppression”? Interesting moral question, for whatever its worth which might be nothing and just an exercise of muddying water.
Is it that critical people can’t help being mean or that mean people can’t help being critical? These are the questions that keep me up and night… oh and a 3 month old baby! Thanks for the encouragement, Simcha! You made me laugh until I cried and my nursing babe stopped nursing to laugh with me :)
Don’t break the bank at whole foods! Costco fish oil is totally fine, and much cheaper! It’s a common supplement these days so it’s easy to get a house brand in a big bottle at Walmart or wherever.
Some of us just don’t get it, when we didn’t mean to be mean. We haven’t walked in the shoes of the person who considers a question “mean”. Perhaps the word is temporarily “ignorant”, but hopefully this word can be avoided as it’s mean. That’s what’s so great about the internet, we get to correct people by calling them “mean”, while not even considering if that was mean.
@Simcha, if my comment was interpreted as critical, nothing could be further than the truth. I admire your bountiful fertility. When my daughter’s godmother told me she didn’t want any more children, I was disappointed, and said, “but the world is such a better place with *your* children.”
I’m going through the worst time in my life right now, being a stay-at-home dad of one. I beat my fists on the wall, I indulge in old addictions, and I scream at the top of my lungs. I get no relief day or night and am at my wits end. I want to !@#$% die.
Your blog does not help. All it says to me is get sterilized so this will be over for good.
Some amazing comments here.
Enjoy your baby & God bless!
@Ben D. - just sent you a message.
@anna lisa - heck no, I didn’t take your comment as personal. I’m not sure which comment Natalie was referring to. I don’t think anyone was trying to be mean, but - yeah, some amazing comments today.
Sim - its going to bounce, try this one
Literally LOL. I hate to break it to you, but as a 57 year old I can say that then there’s peri-menopause, and then menopause, and then post-menopause, and then old age. I read about a study where 11% of the respondents admitted to finding their remote control in the refrigerator - I’d say that matches the portion of the population in some of those phases, wouldn’t you?
When you think about it, it’s amazing our gender has accomplished so much!
Sorry Anna Lisa, I thought I was writing following Jane’s comment (I hadn’t refreshed my computer in a couple of hours).
LOL I once put the frozen Italian Sausage in the dishwasher because I wanted it out of the freezer so I didn’t forget to cook it promptly, but I didn’t want it on the counter because I was cleaning the kitchen just then, so I popped it in with the dirty dishes just until I was done cleaning and could get out the frying pan to cook it ... then I went to the grocery and when I came back the dishes were all done and ... so was the sausage! Lovin it LOL
Oh, I needed this! I have just one, a 10-month-old, but she still wakes up every 2-3 hours throughout the night to nurse. Up until she was three months she slept only during the day, and was wide awake alllllll night long. When her sleeping habits finally shifted, I was so relieved/proud that I answered with an enthusiastic “yes!” whenever I was asked whether she was “sleeping through the night” lol. But I guess with her waking up 3-4 times a night to feed, that doesn’t exactly count. Still, being able to actually GO TO BED at nighttime instead of sitting up all night with a wide-awake infant is nearly as good as an uninterrupted 8 hours of sleep. The only problem…in these past 10 months my brain has mysteriously gone missing…
Simcha, the sleep deprivation can’t be getting to you all that bad if you can still come up with nifty words like “oleaginous”...;-) I’m new to your blog and enjoy it immensely!!
@ Natalie, I’m a dork for assuming you were addressing my comment. Sorry. If RMMT’s suggestion that the brain halves with each placenta we birth, that would explain things. Oh and I was also feeling like a guilty heretic or maybe a would-be evil genius (if my brain hadn’t halved so many times)about the natural fertility inhibitor scheme that I was sneakily proposing.—Which really makes absolutely no sense at all since I can’t wait for Simcha to have another baby,(but empathize) and would have another myself because I’m that crazy. Do you feel sorry for my husband yet? Ha ha it’s Friday, cheers to you and baby :)
Simcha,
I am not a fan of fraternal correction, I don’t know what came over me. I most humbly apologize. God Bless you and your family.
Jane
Simcha, I regularly think of things I’ve read in your columns because I think, “If Simcha can be funny in the face of 9 kids, I can have a sense of humor about my lawyer of a four year old.” The 6-month-old is perfect, no complaints there. (Actually, I currently consider her my consolation prize for anything in my life that is hard, including trying to parent with more patience and gentleness than comes naturally. “Wolfie threw a tantrum? No worries, I’ll just go bury my head in Zoe’s belly.” http://lettersto.us
@Ben D.: I will pray for you. I cannot imagine how much harder it is to stay home with a first child when you can’t breastfeed them! Have you tried a baby sling/carrier? People love the k’tan for it’s simplicity, and it might help you get some rest. I’m not a baby-carrier kind of person myself, but it might work for you.
@Jane - no problem! I was having a really lousy afternoon and probably overreacted. Thanks for taking the time to respond.
@Ben D - Hang in there! I swear, the first one or two are actually the most difficult; you’ll be missing the best part if you stop there! You just need some support, and I’m betting it is harder for a stay-at-home dad to find that support than it is for a stay-at-home mom. Also, we moms have mothering hormones on our side to make us more patient (or, in my case, less impatient). You have to make sure you get some time for yourself, even if it means hiring a babysitter. It’s a real sanity saver.
When pregnant with number 6, I got the first ticket I’d had in over 15 years for running a light with one of those ridiculous red light cameras. I’m sure if a real cop were there and could have heard my pregnancy rant, he’d have let me off. If that weren’t bad enough less than a month later another hefty ticket arrived in the mail because I ran that same d*** light. On top of that I mis-deposited checks in our account 3 times (always in the banks favor). I’m a math person too. Now pregnant with number 8, I avoid that light like the plague and dh insists he makes all deposits.
After your yurt post (we camped in a yurt with 6 kids), dh commented that he’d love to have you over for a beer. This post confirms it. We both emailed it to each other because we got such a laugh.
Once I found a brick of cheese I’d given up looking for when I went to get the scissors out of the junk drawer. Glad I’m not the only one!
Loved it, Simcha! I suffer from brain fog as well. I tell my kids it is a game. I say the sentence and they have to figure out the correct nouns. Like “please put your juice in the closet” can mean “please put your the dishes on the counter.”. Makes for interesting communication skills.
Also, I was just told that there is such a thing as adrenal fatigue, especially for women with many children close in age. Often misdiagnosed, I finally found a doc to diagnose me and slowly but surely I am returning to the land of the living. My last baby was bottle fed after 8 gruelling weeks of pumping and feeding a preemie. I had to choose between nursing the baby and caring for my other 7 kids as I had been in isolation just to survive for 8 weeks plus the 3 weeks we were hospitalized. No guilt here. You do what you have to do for the good of the whole and pray without ceasing.
God bless you.
My wife is gonna love reading this!
Simca,
My BW & I have reached the stage where one of us will substitute one appliance for another, but the other will correctly determine what was meant. “Did you load the clothes from the dishwasher into the dryer?” We both know she was referring to the washing machine, not the dishwasher as the first object; and I reply appropriately.
Our worst case of misplacing something while distracted was a freshly bought leg of lamb intended for Easter dinner that went missing for more than 24 hours before being refrigerated. The accounts of ground beef or sausages in the washing appliances give hilarious mental pictures, but the clean-ups must have been painful (as well as the value lost from having to toss out the meat. Been there, done that.)
Thank you for the laughs that you offer and inspire in your readers. Your column is a blessing.
TeaPot562
I love you Simcha! Now here’s the deal. You have to get one of those other eight kids to actually BECOME your brain. Seriously. My nine-year-old Francie IS my brain. When I start spilling out words that are not even in the correct word order for Latin let alone English, the kids all look to her for translation. Yep, she’ll chirp, “She means to put the tablecloth on the ironing board in the laundry room but don’t knock off all the stuff that’s already on there.” I love this child. I am not joking in the least smallest bit. She can read my eyes like nobody’s business and will start adding in the words that are not coming out.She knows all the places to look for stuff that I have ‘put away’.
She wants to become a nun….hmmmm wonder if that’s more nature or nurture?
Anyway, get you a Francie and your life will be .....where is that child???
Hah…..you may think this is only temporary :-). Imagine now that you are 51, only 3 of the original 7 are left on a glorious Easter morn. Just the evening before you miraculously found the hidden Easter treats you bought 3weeks before. Now having slept from 2am until 7 (I know…..That IS an improvement) you read the Easter proclamation with the husband and kids, turn on the oven for cinnamon rolls, direct the youngest girl to take Jesus out of His little tomb and wow…you’re okay! Yes, you have it all together. That’s when the oldest child says he can’t find a basket for himself. Oh come on, you’re 15 yrs. old; besides you don’t expect me to remember where it is. No, you know better. Anyway I’m busy trying to get rolls ready for the oven. It’s hot enough, but wait…...it smells horrible and there’s smoke pouring out! Then it takes a few seconds to realize…...and then there’s that instant where you don’t want to confront what’s inside. It was a good thing that it was for the oldest child, because can you imagine the meltdown if it had been the beautiful Easter basket of one of the teeny ones??
I once lost a whole side of salmon in my *own fridge*. I couldn’t see it back there until it reminded me of its presence. This ushered in the “glory days”, when I had TWO stainless fridges side by side, with opposing handles in the center, so I could stand in front of both, and throw open both doors. Just the memory still gives me a little shiver of pleasure. I think it was something like 42 cubic feet of glorious organization. (pant)
Ben D.,
I remember saying to my husband, after the birth of my first child, “I don’t want to do this again.” I’m not kidding, I hated the first 6-9 months of parenthood. I actually threw the remote control at the wall one day when I became so frustrated at the baby’s inability to take a stinking 30 minute nap. The pediatrician’s office called me to “check in” and I fell apart. I couldn’t even talk for all of my crying. They were very concerned.
I now have 5 children and, while difficult, I can’t imagine life without any of them (and I know how cliche that sounds). Looking back, I would have done several things differently to get throught my first child experience: 1) get help - from anyone you can and start with your doctor. I was suffering from a very severe case of post-partum depression that really required medicinal intervention. Unfortunately, I didn’t recognize the signs and I tried to hide my true feelings so no one else really picked up on anything. Of course you can’t have “post-partum” depression, but you may certainly be situationally depressed. 2)Give yourself a break. Don’t try to do everything perfectly. Throw out parenting magazines and stay away from television. 3)Find people who can relate to your experience. Here’s a little secret, many parents (my experience is mostly with moms), find parenting very, very difficult - especially in the early years. I found many sympathetic ears, especially at the park, and all it would take is a small comment from me like “well, this isn’t what I thought it would be like at all.” When people sense that they aren’t alone in their trials and tribulations they really start to open up.
Finally, I had to accept that being a mother was never going to be transcendental experience for me. Some people are just born for this job and they thrive in it. I’m not one of them. Yes, I love my kids and I would literally give my life for them, but it has been a daily struggle and that’s okay. God is developing me in some way and most of the time I just have to trust in His plan because I don’t have a clue most of the time. I will pray for you because I can so vividly relate to what you posted.
Ben, hang in there. My first two were the hardest. I don’t know what your background is but I didn’t have any experience with children in an extended family or circle growing up and it was all literally brand new to me. It doesn’t help when peditricians and parenting magazines can seem to try and make you worry about every little thing. Keep things very simple and give your baby the basics with lots of love and do make time for yourself. The adjustment can be very difficult. Know that others of us out there have been brought to our knees over this great responsibility given to us by God, wow if only we had realized beforehand, it amazes me. It’s going to bring out the worst and the best in us. Definitely look for support like Nerina said.
+1000 points to Simcha for correctly using the term centripetal force in the blog post (and avoiding all this “centrifugal force” nonsense).
What a fun read!!!
Sometime during the last few years (I can’t remember exactly when - None of our children sleep through the night before two….)
I was finding it painful waking the baby to drive the half kilometre down the road to pick up my son from school, but anyways i did wake him, again, only to get there and I couldn’t find my son.
Like, I literally lost my kid. It was raining and I’d left the other kids, and screechy baby in the car while I ran to find him, but he wasn’t there…his bag wasn’t there…no sign…And then I started getting panicky and had the teacher and the teacher aide running round looking for him…And then I even got the principal to run down to the swimming pool(in the rain) to check that he hadn’t somehow scaled the fence and drowned in the pool…
And then I rang home…in case, I don’t know why…
And while I was making this phone call and these people were all watching me make the phone call it suddenly dawned on me that I had arranged with another parent that he would have my son over to play that afternoon…..
BRAINS!!!!
Noooooo! I am pregnant with number two and totally forgot about the not sleeping at night thing. Why does your brain make you forget these things? Oh right, so you’ll do it all over again! ;) Good luck with the sleeping thing. I’ll be with you in a matter of months. And I’ll be sure to watch out for any meat purchases I make.
this is glorious and makes me feel a pinch better. why only a pinch? i was this spacey BEFORE having kids, so my husband knows i can’t use that as an excuse!!!! hah!
I work overnight. I came home, drove my 2 youngest to school. Then, got home realized I left my wallet on top of the car, gone… Went to bed crying after cancelling everything I could remember that I had in the wallet. The day goes on. I get up to get my son, and lay down “for a minute”. My husband calls at 1pm. I start saying, “I can’t talk, I have to go get our son. I am late.” He is stunned silent. Then I hear him say, “It is 1PM!!”. I stop, think, oh yeah, I already went and picked him up at 11am. I was so out of it I had misread the clock. Then after getting home, going back to bed, still worried about my wallet, I woke up and got dressed again. If I hadn;t laid down I would have gone to pick him up for a 2nd time that day. Can you imagine?
My husband tells me that one of the reasons he married me was because he thought I could handle anything. Yep. He was a salesman… There was a day when this may have been the case, but as parenthood has reduced me the intellect of an earthworm with the fragility of a centarian, it’s a good “thing” I took a break from working as a nurse because I would have surely killed someone by now. I do the ‘thing” speech here at home but can you imagine having your nurse say, “Mrs. Whatchamacallit, your thingy is really broken. And we’re going to take this thingy and fix it for you. You’ll be hooked up to this other thing and hope it all works out for you.”
Your eagle reference reminded me of my friend who was living in an apartment building with a 22 month old and a set of newborn twins. After weeks of sleep deprivation, she was sure that someone was going to use a ladder to climb into their third floor apartment and steal her kids.
A mind is a terrible thing to waste.
So funny! - wish I had read something like this when I was going through this phase of parenting 5 years ago but I was too overwhelmed to even know there were blogs like this out there to cheer me up and help me along…thanks for taking the time to write - so appreciate it! God bless you and thank God for a sense of humor. Kept me from going permanently over the brink many a time.
I hope that Dan, also, can see the things he is doing well, see the beauty in the chaos and the love and joy amidst the messes and the never-ending, never-accomplished kinds of tasks that make up stay-at-home parenting. The tasks are never done but there are spiritual, emotional and social tasks being accomplished every single moment that we faithfully ‘soldier on’. Saying a prayer for you today, Dan!
Reading (& enjoying) your column last Friday I was trying to remember back when I’d done similar things when my children were little.
(My youngest is a teenager now.)
Driving back home from town Friday it began to rain & when I turned on the windshield wipers I noticed a giant zucchini-right where my daughter had put it the day before.Her last words as I left her home were: “Don’t forget about the zucchini.” It had ridden with me 15 miles back & forth to town in the little groove between the windshield & hood of the truck.
Maybe the mom-brain syndrome never really leaves you, even after your children do.
So, so funny…and I’m with Kathleen. Seems like I was just getting some good solid zzz’s when middle age memory loss kicked in. My favorite expression to describe teamwork with my co-worker, who has two babies and stumbles around on 3.5 hours of sleep some nights, is: “Two women, one brain.”
I almost woke my baby, who is resting peacefully in a crib about 8 feet away & surprisingly hasn’t woken once yet tonight, with tear jerking LAUGHTER!!!! Thank you.
O.k. Just one more from me: “Give the baby a cigarette”
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My teens and twenties love that story.
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My problem is that I, as a multi-tasker, transpose words that I read, with orders that I am barking. In this case we were flying down a long stretch of road on the way to school and Baby John Paul was fussing. I meant to say “toy” but I read that sign under the liquor store sign that said “cigarettes”.
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Ha ha, Mom’s losing it.
I discovered that all of my brain cells finally recovered from children…just in time to get blown away again by menopause. *sigh* Consider yourself forewarned.
Oh man I can so relate. At least your baby sleeps when put across the room from you. Mine, at 10 months old, is still waking me every 2 hours. It doesn’t seem to matter where he is. He slept 9 straight hours the other night for the first time in his life! Then last night, back to every 2 hours again.
“Hi, Jane - I really do understand that you’re trying to be helpful, but your comment was a little frustrating to me. My baby sleeps in a cosleeper next to my bed, and still nurses at least a dozen times a day. I returned to fertility when she was nursing throughout the night, with no supplements, no pacifier, etc. I need to not be falling asleep behind the wheel with my nine kids in the car. This seems more important to me than being able to claim a particular parenting label. I am soldiering on. This is how I soldier on.”
This comment literally made me laugh aloud! I am one of 9 children, and my mom would say the same words ‘Jane’ did, all with the very best and loving of intentions, but it’s SO MUCH EASIER for a person to say such things when they are no longer in the thick of living it…and what works best for one person(natural spacing HA!) doesn’t work well for all of us:) Your response was very charitable. My responses to my mother who would say the above were not always as nice or as eloquent as yours was. Cheers!
If all of us were together I would buy everyone a round of espresso with an extra shot of caffeine:)
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