Apparently the number of "active Catholics" declined by 5% recently. I suspect that one reason for this is that, thanks in part to our suddenly more vocal bishops, at least 5% of Catholics have suddenly become aware of what it actually means to be an active Catholic -- and have realized that they don't actually want any part of that.
Either way, I feel like I can't walk ten feet without bumping into an enthusiastic new convert, which is delightful, and so encouraging! Welcome, everybody! We papists have a little saying: Venite intus; horribilis est!
Heh. Anyway, you may be looking forward to your first Lent with enthusiasm but some trepidation. If so, you're ahead of the game: it should be something to get excited about. Lent can be a wonderful source of grace. But as such, it can be a real mine field of screw-ups, especially for rookies. Here are some typical rookie mistakes during Lent:
Giving Up All The Things!!! Don't forget: even though it's Lent, you still have to live the rest of your life. So it's probably not wise to take on such a complicated set of obligations and observances that you will need to hire a monk to follow you around, reminding you that you have exactly four minutes to make supper or earn a living before you're due for your next spiritual reading, or to pray anther five decades of the rosary, volunteer another half hour at the soup kitchen, say a blessing before, during, and after sneezing, and put a fresh set of dried peas in your shoes, all on four hours of sleep without a pillow and after a breakfast consisting of half a prune. Just pick one or two things that you can reasonably stick with, or you will burn out and/or drop dead.
Giving up the thing that makes you bearable Lent is about you doing sacrifices, not making everybody else suffer while they endure your enduring your sacrifice. If your family sits you down 48 hours into Lent and presents you with a court order demanding that you start smoking or drinking coffee again, then have mercy and listen to them.
Leaving Loopholes As I'm prone to explain shoutily to my lazy, rotten kids, "That's not cleaning, that's just moving the mess around!" You're not allowed to tidy up your bed by shoving all your junk under the bed. In the same way, it doesn't really benefit you much to give up Facebook if you're suddenly going to become a champion-level Twitterer. Or if you gave up chocolate, you get no points for diving head first into a vat of caramel. Substituting toothpicks for cigarettes, or water for beer, is a real penance; substituting YouTube for Netflix, not so much.
Waiting until the last minute for confession You may think you're getting the most out of your Lenten Experience by doing one final purge during Holy Week. This is a horrible mistake. Unless you want to be on line forever and ever, or unless your priest shows signs that he would like some extra penance by being in that box morning, noon, and night, do try to get to confession before the last minute! Ideally, you should get to confession more than once during Lent, anyway. And of course, if you haven't gotten around to it, later is better than never. But be aware that many priests do not hear confessions on Good Friday or Holy Saturday. There's some dispute over whether or not they're permitted to hear confessions on those days; but for many overworked priests, there's simply no time, with all the preparations they must make for the Triduum.
Getting cute about it The standard observations are standard for a reason. I know it's fun to be creative, but it's kind of obnoxious to give up -- I don't know, adjectives, or clothes that match, or foods with the letter "r" in them. It might actually work out to be a difficult penance, but come on. No need to reinvent the wheel. If you're a naturally creative person, consider it your penance to bow to the ordinary, and do what everyone else is doing for once.
Getting overly somber about it Yes, it's a penitential season, when we focus, like no other time of year, on the ugliness of sin, and on the suffering and sorrows Our Lord took on for our sake. It makes perfect sense to curtail parties and frivolities until after Lent (it's only 40 days!), and to make our daily lives take on a penitential tone which is unmistakably different from the rest of the year. But that doesn't mean you need to quit smiling, or that we can't enjoy being with friends and family, or listening to the first robin sing. We're not Calvinists or Jansenists or any other "ist" that makes us quit being human.
Not getting back on that horse If you fail, that doesn't mean you've picked the wrong penance, or that you're incapable of doing penance. It means you're a human being. Duh. That's why we need Lent. Yes, you can back away from penances that turn out to be really disastrous; but don't quit just because you fail. God likes it when we try to become holier, but He loves it when we mess up, repent, and try again. As Jen Fulwiler has pointed out, Lent really starts about halfway through, when the novelty has worn off and you still have to keep on sticking with your dumb old, boring old, purifying old penance.
After reading this list of don't and more don'ts, do you feel a little taken aback -- a little less confident about your powers to turn yourself into a better person? Are you starting to think that there's really no way you can make up for your sins on your own, and that you're going to need ten boatloads of grace from the Holy Spirit to even get through the day, much less forty days straight?
Ah! Now we're getting somewhere.
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I love #2! Excellent point!
Great post, Simcha. “Consider it your penance to bow to the ordinary” - this one is genius! Now I’m off to contemplate what indeed does make me bearable to others, surely that will be fruit for repentence.
Yes, number 2 its exactly why I no longer give up caffeine for Lent! Thou shalt not inflict thine penance upon thine family.
You’re making. us. think. about. it. I was going to say something snarky about homeschoolers and lunch gin yesterday, and then I stopped in my tracks. I think I will give up…. being snarky. But I beg of you, please don’t inflict that penance upon *us*.
Oh, and one more thing: last night I flirted with the suspicion that one must never allow the spousal unit to take over one’s spiritual direction. Mine agreed enthusiastically that alcohol would be a good thing to give up for Lent….uhhh….except for weekends. hmmm…Maybe I’m selling him short. Maybe he knows me the best of all and this *does* fall under the #2 clause of remaining human in one’s pursuit of holiness…
Venite intus; horribilis est! ???? Please translate! Yes, I’m a convert and I think that means something like, “welcome in, it’s horrible”? Is that right?
We’re giving up meat for all of Lent. We’re allowed to do so on Sundays, right? :)
Venite intus; horribilis est = Come inside; it is awesome!
Here’s one more: not coordinating your penances with your spouse. First year we were married, I resolved to get up in time to fix my husband a really nice breakfast before he went to work. He, meanwhile,had decided to skip breakfast each day. Just picture the little snit I got into when he barely sampled the Eggs Benedict I’d fixed the day after Ash Wednesday.And it was my bad, since fixing frequent fancy meals during lent doesn’t exactly fit the spirit of the season.
@Anna Lisa: Giving up something bad, i.e. being snarky, is not something you should do for Lent: it’s something you should do for life. Lenten penances are all abt giving up good things by choice, altho making an additional effort to become generally holy is a great idea too.
@Lauren: Translation: “Come on in; it’s great!” See Google Translate.
@Everyone: Holy Lent to everyone!
@J. Horne, does this include Saturday Night Live?
...and Mark Shea?
Best to go to confession early in Lent. I have been noticing for some time now that the line is getting longer. At least we don’t have to wait as long as the man at the pool of Bethsaida.
Smackdowns on the uber holy?
Like Public Enemy said, “Do the right thing!”
J. Horne, maybe I need to look up “snarky” in the urban dictionary. Otherwise I’m afraid that what you are suggesting is akin to donning sackcloth and ashes….for…a lifetime… :(
Okay, J., you sort of win. Extract the short tempered part!:) I like my sarcasm fresh, like Jesus calling James and John “Sons of thunder” because they wanted to call fire and brimstone down on a village of people.
I would like a post of suggestions of things to give up for Lent. One penance I have always liked, but have never done, is sleeping on the floor during Lent. Was thinking about reading The Confessions of St. Augustine for Lent. This is the earliest I have started thinking about what to give up for Lent.
This is a great post. Thank you!
A reminder: If you’re going to give up something for Lent, know that you can have it on Sundays. Lots of people forget this little fact. Good Lent, everyone!
Posted by Rob B. on Friday, Feb 8, 2013 1:52 PM (EDT):
We’re giving up meat for all of Lent. We’re allowed to do so on Sundays, right? :)”
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Right, but traditionally I think most folk abstained even on Sundays.
Our family once gave up meat for all of Lent & my children referred to it as the “40 Bean Days.”
@NinaBG—Whew! Thanks! :)
@Kathleen—“40 Bean Days”—hahahahahahaha! :D
Great post!
Here’s a post I came across yesterday with suggestions of things to do/give up during Lent:
http://www.nicksenger.com/onecatholiclife/101-practical-fasting-ideas-for-lent-redux
Holy Lent, Everyone!
That loophole one is something I always fall into and this year was planning for it. Previous penances involved giving up ice cream (but not chocolate), youtube (but not netflix), reading blogs (but not twitter). This year I’m feeling called to really address the internet wastage time by giving up _slacking off_ on the computer - doing non computer things at home except for a small time window and reading while waiting for something to run at work. I have a feeling I’m going to fall off early and often - but my biggest fear is I’ll find yet another loophole to waste time in.
There’s a reason why Sundays are exempt days. Please be aware!
Just like Advent, Lent is a season for preparation (cleaning our ‘homes’) for the coming of a most wonderful event. If we look at it this way, then fasting and abstinence (of any kind!) will be a welcome act.
I leave loopholes all the time. And there has always been some disagreement in our home about the Sunday thing. Since I usually give up chocolate (but not dessert, see, built in loophole!) I definitely go to town every Sunday. Or giving up Facebook but spending hours pouring through the previous weeks newsfeed every Sunday. I probably should pick something different. Maybe I’ll give up changing dirty diapers since that seems to be what I do most often every. single. day. :-D
Once, a group of my friends and I were sitting at the CCD parent’s social after a Sunday Mass just before Lent, complaining about the latest scandal to hit the local diocese and laughing about how the complaints about our own parish were so small; that we should be grateful we have it so good that we can complain about things like the flowers being too abundant or the altar boys being to wiggly. During this exchange, my friend Eunice and I hit upon an idea: Sunday is still Sunday, so for Lent we would make home made goods and bring them to share. Any one could partake, but no one was allowed to complain if they sat with us.
It all started somewhat tounge in cheek. I am a bad “fast-er” and I have fantastic failures when it comes to lenten observances. I though that this could be something I can do, and it would be fun and remind people that each Sunday was a “little Easter” and so one can take a small break from Lenten rigors. Thus began the lenten morning bake off. I would arise at 5am and make cookies, coffee cake, home made tortilla chips and salsa, whatever. By the time Holy Saturday hit, this had become a *real* pennance. It was heavy, and while sharing home made goods is fun, the work to make it was a true cross.
I mention this to let you know that you can get creative with pennances. God will work with it. It’s like Flannery O’Connor used to say , to “take virtue where you can find it”.
If you count the days from Ash Wed to Holy Saturday, it’s 46 days which accounts for the 6 Sundays of Lent. Sundays are always Resurrection days.
Yes, Sundays are always feast days, so no fasting required. However, as Natalie has discovered, if you spend hours on facebook every Sunday during Lent and neglect your family in the meantime, that’s not O.K. either.
For those who need some more inspiration, check out Meg Hunter-Kilmer’s blog post: http://www.piercedhands.com/100-things-to-do-for-lent/
That was a wonderful post, as always!
Do you have any favorite penances for when you’re pregnant, by the by? You mentioned in another post that, instead of fasting, you eat only foods you don’t like and that are nutritious, but I think that would be hard to do for forty days.
I’ve found that if I don’t continue my Lenten practices on Sundays as well then they aren’t much of a penance for me. Maybe I’m not doing enough!
And I really liked this blog post “Preparing for Lent” written by an aspiring Dominican nun: http://supporttarasvocation.wordpress.com/2013/02/06/preparing-for-lent/
@Sarah, I usually give up sweets (which helps keep me on a more even keel anyway) or some kind of entertainment. If Lent falls in the third trimester, I just offer up being pregnant, to be honest with you, because daily life is already more than I can deal with.
half a prune! HA! snort!
A few points: ‘Horriblis’ means “horrible” not “great! lol so the translation would be “Come on in; It is horrible!”... Awesome article by the way. But as my spiritual director says, remember that it is not so much what you give up, but rather what to do! There is a page on FB that I’m trying this year (again) called Push ups for purity and its mission is to offer 100 push ups per day throughout the whole day (or as many as you can do) as a prayer for those trying to leave a life of purity. I’m a seminarian so this I think it is a noble thing to do -women can do girl push ups, not a problem. Also try thinking of something that will take you out of yourself, which is one of the reasons why we give up things. Like me, I’m kind of a coke/pepsi addict, so I’m only drinking water for all 40 days. For some this might be nothing cause you do it already, but for someone who also thinks that breakfast without orange juice is not breakfast it can be a really big deal lol… I’ll be praying for all of you to give to the Lord with all your heart something that will help you grow in spirituality and love. God bless
I’m finding a big disconnect between lenten rep and lenten reality. The patent reality behind lent is that it’s the richest, lushest, most luxurient and prolific time of the year. Any “penitential practices” serve only to prune away dead matter from our soul’s apparatus to experience the purer joy of new life. These “works” are rewarded prodigally by our enhanced ability to see, feel, live and do.
I’m experiencing this impending profluence with exhilarating joy and fierce intensity. I feel like my soul is a red balloon released into the bright blue spring sky. I’m unable to cling to the necessities of ordinary living, but float around with both feet off the ground, neither here nor there.
Thank you.
nice post and reflection – and yes coming early to confession helps out a lot
Great Lent is a wonderful opportunity for us to deepen our spiritual lives and meditate on the paschal mystery. I particularly find the Stations of the Cross a most useful vehicle for meditation along with adoration and spiritual reading.
“If Lent falls in the third trimester, I just offer up being pregnant…” said Simcha, above. MY FAVOURITE LENTEN ADVICE EVER. And doubtless, for anybody who gets as sick as I do, that would go for the first trimester, too! Puts pregnancy in its proper perspective, I think.
I once gave up coffee… I’m never doing that again.
Not to complain much, but the period from Ash Wednesday to Holy Saturday inclusive actually is 46 days long. And if you intend some daily reform (giving up internet blogging, e.g) that you enjoy, spending most of Sunday enjoying the thing you said that you would reform kind of cuts the heart out of it.
TeaPot562
No internet till the kitchen and living room are both clean! A sacrifice for me that’s also a blessing for my family.
Perhaps it’s because I’m a protestant, but I don’t find snarkiness to be sinful.
I once gave up sugar & cream in my coffee. That was hard. I went back to sugar but not the cream. Whatever makes you remember that you are doing something tough out of love for Him who did way more.
I’m expecting. Although I’m not diabetic, I’m thinking hard about following a gestational diabetes diet during Lent this year. It would require advance planning (mortifying my whims & preferences) and cutting out a lot of the junky stuff I turn to for comfort food….
So many good suggestions and cautions! Thank you! As a relative newb, I have fallen into many of the pits you warn against. Too many, not going to confession early (and preferably often), subbing out vices (last year I gave up FB and then wasted time other places on the internet). I did find that giving up diet soda (and therefore ALL soda) was a very telling practice for me. Near the end, I was dreaming about coke zero. Sad, huh? But instructive. I will give up FB again and will not sub in other internet vice/time waster spots. Do you think keeping a journal would be overkill? Nothing extensive, just a note here and there…
Thanks for your timely and instructive blog.
Yep. I’m infertile and I just found the prospect of giving up a cup of coffee or a chocolate bar laughable when compared to having to give up my dreams for my family month after month after month. If I can manage to unite my deep, abiding sorrow with the Cross, I’ll consider it a lenten victory.
Thanks for the links to suggestions for Lent. Here’s an article you might enjoy.
http://bustedhalo.com/features/in-defense-of-lenten-sacrifice
loopholes. darn it. i had it all planned. no sweets. but double cream camenbert cheese isn’t a sweet, see….
(@ Sarah B, will pray.)
@Simcha - Thanks! I’ll definitely do the sweets thing; that will be a real challenge. Have a great week!
Sarah Webber, Off-target snarkiness is the height of sinfulness, even for protestants. Snarkiness is only morally acceptable if it liberates an access of charitable thoughts, tears through tired tropes, and chides one off of high-horsedness. Too often snarkiness fails on all these counts. There is a place in purgatory for the ineptly snarky, but as you are a protestant, and do not believe in purgatory, you will probably end up in hell for it.
Now we know what the pope’s giving up for Lent.
Sorry…
I’ve prayed for his intentions all morning, actually.I know he hasn’t been well & wish him the best.
I love your article. Perfect suggestions for Lent!
God Bless you!
Susan
http://www.catholic-artwork.com/
@Matt B, ummm, comment to Sarah Webber—that has to be a joke, right? The part about her going to Hell?
@Sarah B., I’m sorry to hear you’re infertile. I think your comment seems to be missing part of it, because it comes across as feeling sorry for yourself and thinking that other people’s struggles are nothing compared to this particular struggle of yours. If anything, giving up something or taking on a practice might be a good way for you to stop feeling so unique in your suffering.
I’m in my 3rd trimester, and just buried my father on Saturday. I feel the need for a penance more, not less. It’s too easy to feel sorry for myself when what I should be doing is remembering that Christ has borne this pain and worse, and that he is suffering with me and my family. But then again, I have loved Lent my whole life, and it was my dad’s favorite time of year too. I feel more alive when I make some sort of physical link in my life.
The loophole thing is a good point though…I’ll have to make sure I choose something that I can’t/won’t easily replace.
In future, any commenter who says (even with tongue in cheek) that another commenter is going to Hell will be banned. Thanks.
Thank you Simcha. I was very disturbed by that comment, and I appreciate that you monitor the comment threads on your articles.
My bad. Of course this comment was tongue in cheek. Perhaps I should have said “heck.”
Banned for life?
I have also shied away from giving up something that I thought would be too hard, even if that something has a big hold on my life. Your point about failing - “God likes it when we try to become holier, but He loves it when we mess up, repent, and try again” - was a big “aha!” for me. I’m not giving up something reasonably easy so I can get to the end of Lent and give myself a gold star for a perfect Lent. Where’s the holiness in that?
One other thing that helps me with my Lenten commitments is to write them down. Otherwise, the “Loophole Fairy” starts whispering in my ear with her legalistic hairsplitting interpretations on my sacrifices, like “it would be rude to pass up on Birthday cake”, thus invoking the “don’t-offend-the-Birthday-girl” loophole, or “go ahead and drink on your vacation”, calling upon the “vacation-opt-out-of-Lenten-commitment” clause. Write it down, NO LOOPHOLES allowed.
@Matt B, And the afterlife.
Banned for life from SF would be tantamount to heck.
I like that you coined the term “shoutily”. That’s quality blogging, right there.
Great blog post.
One of the things that I’ve found helpful over the past few years is to take a slightly different tack in the observance of Lent. There is usually more than one vice or area of our lives in which a little penitential medicine would be a good idea. So, I’ve found it helpful to pick different things to sacrifice each week of Lent instead of choosing just one and then doing the Lenten marathon, or of choosing too many things and then getting overwhelmed when my good intentions collide head on with my weak nature.
For example, if chocolate or dessert is your weakness (they’re not mine) you might resolve to give it up from Ash Wednesday to the Second Sunday of Lent. On that day, you have a choice: pick a new penance till the Third Sunday of Lent (like abstaining alcohol or TV or meat every day), or carry on with your original sacrifice if you choose.
I also think it’s important to introduce a positive spiritual practice that you may not ordinarily do in your spiritual life as a counterbalance, such as additional prayer time or almsgiving. While you’re abstaining from chocolate or alcohol, why not start praying the rosary every day if you don’t already? Or why not buy a few extra cans of food at the supermarket to donate to your local food bank when you do your weekly shopping?
My 5 year old - who is giving up something very meaningful to him which was his own idea - said to me today, “I know what else I can give up for Lent”, so I asked what it was, he replied, “my whole bed”, I asked where he was planning to sleep and would he have a blanket etc, he replied “I will just come and sleep with you, in your bed” That would be a real Penance to let that bony body in my bed for the whole of Lent. I think that qualifies as #2 above, don’t make your family miserable by your own choices.
Love it! As always.
Venite intus; horribilis est! The best translation I could come up with is Come within; horrible you! In the future if you are going to make a statement in Latin (or any language other than English) you should give the translation. Most people do not speak Latin and also do not know how to find and/or use translation software/apps. I find it best not to assume anything about the readers of my blog or articles I have written. It is better to explain everything.
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