If an atheist movie falls at the box office, does it make a sound? Not in the media it doesn’t. But that’s why we’re here to point these things out.

Remember the movie “The Ledge?” Well, of course you don’t. Nobody does. I think even the actors in it (and there’s some big ones) are working on plausible deniability.  The Ledge came out during the summer and was billed as the “atheist Brokeback Mountain.” And they meant that as a good thing, just so you know.

The director Matthew Chapman explicitly labeled it “the first overtly pro-atheist movie.”

Essentially, the plot is a nice oppressed married Christian woman (we know she’s oppressed because she wears her top button done) meets a cool roguish atheist dude who unbuttons her top button, if you know what I mean. Enter big bad Christian patriarchal oppressor husband who then becomes not so nice and Christiany and threatens to kill his wife unless the atheist dude jumps off the ledge. Will the atheist sacrifice himself for another? Drumroll please. I can hardly wait…to yawn.

Chapman did interviews with all sorts of atheist websites and groups and the result was…drumroll please…$5,176. No I didn’t leave off any zeros. The movie made $5,176. And IMDB reported it had a $10 million budget. Ouch!

“The Beaver” made more money than this. AND THAT WAS ABOUT A PUPPET!!!!

This is all the so-called “brights” came up with?

I think one of the things that went wrong with this movie isn’t just that it was an atheist movie. It’s that it was anti-Christian. Instead of showing atheists dealing with dramatic situations which they do, the director chose to have the atheist in a battle with a crazy Christian caricature. And guess what, people in a mainly Christian country decided not to see it. Now that’s the kind of natural selection I can get behind.

I think there is more evidence of God’s existence than there is of revenue from this movie. In fact, how could you say the movie exists if nobody’s ever seen it, huh…huh?

This really just goes to show that atheists can make movies just as bad as Christians -and let’s face it there’s been some reeeeaaaallly bad Christian movies. But at least Christians make bad movies because they mean well, atheists don’t even have that excuse. The thing is that this movie was every bit as religious as some of the preachiest Christian movies, they just don’t know it.

Dead atheists would turn over in their graves if they hadn’t evaporated into nothingness. But it’s just what I’ve always suspected, many atheists bore even themselves.

This movie couldn’t pull the atheists out of Catholic comboxes for even 90 minutes.

This just proves the adage that there are no atheists in foxholes or at atheist movies. Hey, at least the producers can fall back on the fact the nothing really matters anyway. That’s some comfort, right?

Now, if they made a flying spaghetti monster movie. Now there’s an idea I might be interested in. IN 3-D!!!!

Note: Here’s the trailer if you want a laugh