I personally would not post photos of my son unless the blog were private (password controlled).  Mainly because of safety concerns.  But I don’t judge others who do, and I agree with your perspective on this.

Melanie and I were blogging long before we’d even met, and at every stage of our relationship we blogged about it: dating, marriage, pregnancy, birth. We didn’t make a conscious decision one day to write about our kids. We just did. I think “stranger” fears are overblown by excessive media coverage. Frankly it’s not unlike the unreasonable fears that drove a neighbor and a newspaper delivery driver to call the cops because our kids were playing in the front yard.

My take is this- if I can take my kids out in the real public and real strangers can see them there, and I can use their real names in the real public where real strangers can hear their names, then I can post pictures and use names in a blog, which is basically, as you said, the new town square, especially for someone like me who has no car during the week to meet with people in person.  I feel like the world wants, or needs, to see happy, faithful families doing normal things and living a joyful life, and happy faithful families need to connect with other families for support.  For me those two factors are what drives me to be open and real, while at the same time striving not to post anything inappropriate or embarrassing about my children so as to protect their interests as they get older.

As a general rule, I don’t post photos of my kids online. Not even on Facebook for the most part - I don’t get all up in people’s grills if they happen to post a pic of my kid, but I do untag it when they do so.

I guess I just don’t like the idea that people could get hits by googling my underage kids…their online history is theirs to make, when they are of age. And as we move closer to the years when they will spend more time online, we talk a lot about the ramifications of putting yourself out there, both good and bad.

(Actually, if you google my 11-year old now, what you get are a bunch of 5K results. Her own online history has begun) :-)

Also - I freaking love Rachel Lucas. Thanks for linking her post.

Your very last example doesn’t seem genuine—blogs are frequently about the hard-to-talk about issues, like bed wetting. The things we chat about at, say the grocery store or bumping into each other at the mall, small talk about the weather and quick mentions of what our kids are up to, would make a very boring blog. Most mommy blogs I see are either like magazines. Some have pretty pictures and how-to tips and recipes, or they are more confessional, like the stories in a ladies magazine with names protected, or more like editorials. I blogged because I needed an outlet for the kinds of things I couldn’t just talk about anywhere. Plus, in a town center, there is a kind of context that you have to build from scratch in a blog, and some people are better at that then others. I think that, for safety sake, mommy bloggers should treat their blog exactly like a magazine, in that you can write what you want, but assume that you have to build the context and assume that people with bad intent might see it. If you would change names for privacy if it were published in Time, than do so on the blog.

Besides, Jennifer, if I am correct, you don’t put pictures of your own children on your blog, and I respect you for that, since you do have your full name. Saying it’s OK for others seems odd to me.

I don’t know, Jen, but I am glad you asked the question and look forward to the replies.  As someone who’s been repeatedly encouraged to start her own blog (haven’t yet),  I wonder about precisely these kinds of things!

“Besides, Jennifer, if I am correct, you don’t put pictures of your own children on your blog, and I respect you for that, since you do have your full name. Saying it’s OK for others seems odd to me.”
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Thanks for your comment. That’s true that I don’t post pictures of my kids either here or at my personal blog, but that’s because neither one are primarily about family life. In both places we discuss a variety of subjects, and occasionally have heated debates, which is the main reason I try to keep the kids out of it as much as possible. But if I were to start a traditional “mommyblog,” I would probably be much more open about the kids.

Hmm.  I use a pseudonym, but I also don’t go to any huge lengths to disguise my identity.  I use it because 1) I’m shy so it makes me feel better to have a handle between me and the world and 2) GeekLady is an awesome handle.  So GeekBaby as an Internet handle worked out rather naturally, and Himself is from one of my husband’s tea mugs (as calling him by any of my usual nicknames would get me in hot water with the humor-impaired).  I find I like the process of inventing blog names for people, it’s fun.  So that’s why I do it.

Privacy and respect for my family is a whole mother kettle of fish.  I could rant about a million ways my husband’s effort to help with the housework drives me to the brink of insanity, or tell embarrassing stories about people, or just be mean.  So I self censor anything I think is too much whining, too harsh, mean, generally unfair etcetera.  Privacy on a blog is ultimately about respect for the person.  It’s not disrespectful to put up pictures of my kid in his Halloween costume (even if this year might involve shaving his head).  Even baby poop-splosion stories aren’t necessarily disrespectful (unless you put them up years after the fact to embarrass your teenager).  Using some cute thing your kid does for your own purposes INSTEAD of just ‘hey, look at X do cute thing Y”, that’s not respect because you’re treating your kid as a thing not a person.

My children are grown, but I do post family photos on my blog when they are relevant.  However, I did delete some personal information after receiving a very suggestive phone call from a man in another state.

You think you hide your details from me?  It wouldn’t take “mere hours” to find you; two clicks, on whitepages.com and zillow or googleearth, and I can tell you what’s in your trash can in the back yard.  That’s just the world we live in.

Here’s what I think. Do you think it’s possible that we could spend just as much time and energy warring about the real problems that negatively affect children? What about the kids who are sold for drugs or living on the streets? What about all of the children that go to bed hungry and starving every night or scared of the abuse they know will be coming after they fall asleep? Can we just take a moment and focus on some of the real parenting problems that exist and are worthy of our attention? I have a perspective shift here:
http://www.themommypsychologist.com/2012/05/08/what-are-the-real-parenting-problems/

As a blogger, a Facebooker, and a mother, I’ve always tried to keep the information I post about my family to a minimum. I find the benefit of online conversation is mainly to have other grown-ups to talk to about grown-up things. I polish the parenting skill set face-to-face with friends.

The downside is that the resulting online persona is artificial, but I don’t know how an online persona can help but be artificial. I also tend to avoid reading diary-entry posts that document daily aches and pains, the successes at the gym, or that their preteen, Mikey, made a killer meatloaf last night, unless the writer is an especially gifted storyteller and the storytelling outshines the complaints or praises. I encounter that kind of writing savvy pretty infrequently on the internet, though.

Now that I have two teenage sons with topical blogs, I’m delighted, of course, that they don’t publish anything about *me*.

I don’t blog about anything my kids (or I) wouldn’t tell people we just met or do in a public setting. So that means no bedwetting type stories, but plenty of sibling rows, and plenty of interesting things we discuss. I use our full names and post pictures too.

I’m not going to say that moms who post pictures and names of their kids are doing anything wrong, but I wouldn’t do it with my kids.  I’m reluctant even to post pictures of my kids online.  I certainly would never post their full names on my blog.  I would view it as a violation of our family’s privacy.  (But then, I don’t even post my own full name on my blog.)

I am happy that a Google search on my full name turns up almost nothing about me, and I would like it to remain the same way for my kids until they decide on their own to make it otherwise.

Hmmm… I’ve spent a lot of time agonizing over this issue since I started my blog (in earnest) two years ago. My blog, Bringing the Sunshine, is about “motherhood with a double dose of special {needs}” - my daughter has cerebral palsy; my son has Down syndrome - so stories about the children are an integral part of the blog. My aim is to be an encouragement to others and to educate people about two things: the critical issues related to disability, and how people with disabilities are more alike their typical peers than they are different. I do this through editorial-style opinion pieces and also through stories about the children.

Unfortunately, I have a very uncommon last name, and given that I didn’t want to use a pseudonym, I had to face the fact that we’re easily identifiable, if someone wished to target us. Yes, that does concern me, but I feel that the issues at stake are worth the risk.

Great post Jen, it’s always so nice to read your clear wisdom. You sure have a talent for bringing relevant topics to the forefront!

I sorted this out in my mind as a matter of *privacy* and it’s consistent whether the *public* is online or in person. Whatever is private about my children or husband, or anyone, stays private. Whatever is not private, is not.

I would publicly share with anyone that my daughter said something funny or my son learned to graph a parabolic equation and made a youTube video (for real!) or some positive learning experience we had. I wouldn’t share private details - nothing that would harm or embarrass them.

I think *private* vs. *public* is a good way to sort it out. I learned my lesson the hard way years ago blabbing at infant playgroup about my older children and it got back to them. I realized very suddenly how wrong that was, I was gossiping!!! about my own children and I was very ashamed.

I am often wonder about this.  There is a great deal of psychology behind blogging. Some bloggers try to be deeply honest but when you think of it there are certain topics they avoid and rightly so.  I personally could not put my name out there like that.  (as you can see with my name anon..)

After being in a vibrant parish for 20 yrs I am now seeing some kids grown up.  Even though they have been raised in a homeschooling/orthodox Catholic school and in some cases forced to go to Steubenville environment they are not living the faith. I am sure some of the things they post on FB (even just their profile pictures) pains and embarasses their parents.  Like talks of being drunk and drinking, words to vile songs and the back yard wedding pictures that have the baby conceived out of wedlock already in them.  (I believe God is merciful so I am not saying that to judge. Just to point out that parents believe if they exert the maximum amount of control they will have kids faithful to the magisterium and this is not true..)

I sometimes wonder what the future holds for some of the better know bloggers who have put their kids out there.  10-20 years from now I can see people asking “I wonder how so and so kids” are doing.  Since all human beings go thru struggles at some point I think having yourself put out there is too much placed on the shoulders of these kids.  I personally would have been horrified if my mom was a blogger. I am a very private person and don’t want people to be able to google my name.

It places alot of pressure on kids. What if they go off to Steubenville and they don’t want to be known as insert popular blogger’s name son/daughter.  It is like a Catholic celebrity world. That is not an easy place to be.

Wow!!!!!  This blog just helped me to connect some dots….... I am a pediatrician who has been called to advocate for Parental Rights over the past couple of years.  For those unaware, there is a global assault on the parent/child relationship underway thru the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child (UN CRC). In the Jan 24, 2012 issue of Time Magazine, they called for a target date for ratification of the U.N. Convention on the Rights of the Child by Nov , 2012. 

http://ideas.time.com/2012/01/24/why-is-the-us-against-childrens-rights/?iid=op-article-latest

Well, the UN CRC basically guts all Parental Rights and gives all rights to the child——preeminent among these is the RIGHT TO PRIVACY——allowing the State to push contraception, Emergency Contraception and Abortion onto kids, without parents “getting in the way”.

So what is Time Magazine doing with this breast feeding cover???  Very knowingly creating a “CRISIS” because once there is a CRISIS identified, then the government must move in to “protect the children”.

I urge all parents to learn all they can about the UN CRC —
http://www.parentalrights.org/

Claire and anna lisa have already declared that I’m a troll, but I want to give Jennifer a cheer! There are too many people suggesting that just because you have children you can’t do anything for yourself. Good for you!

Thank you for writing about this as it’s been on my mind a lot lately, and really, ever since I joined Facebook and then started my blog.  I like what Dwija wrote and I agree with both of you.  I try very hard not to ever post anything that I would not want posted about me.  I came to this weird realization when my first was born that children are, like, little PEOPLE.  (Weird, right?)  And that the whole do unto others thing applied to them as well. 

I don’t post pics to Facebook anymore since it weirded me out that people were able to (and did) share them without my consent and then I lost control over it and people I didn’t know were able to view them.  And I make it a rule now to never post pictures on FB or anywhere of other people’s children without their consent.  I still post pics of my own children on the blog, though.  I guess I feel like that is more a personal space and that the benefits of blogging for me outweigh any risk.  And someone is much less likely to steal a pic (I think?) from that (after all, I have that SUPER scary copyright notice on the side!).  I did get freaked out recently, though, by noticing that someone stopped by my blog by googling something so disturbing and perverted.  I would never post a picture that would invite that but the combination of words was such that my blog popped up.  Reality check.  I admit I’ve sometimes been disturbed by what other bloggers post about their children and think they need to think twice about it.  I’ve even seen other bloggers post pics of their children on the potty or in underwear.  I’m not sure people realize how dangerous that is.

Anyway, it’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot and I appreciate you taking it on.  Hoping the conversation continues…

My kids and husband are rarely pictured on my blog and not with their names- I am semi-anonymous as well. It’s for privacy’s sake and also to make my story a bit more universal- but I think one of the major ‘problems’ with blogging about the kids- I always stay positive so it is not a 100% accurate portrayal of life

Mommy Psychologist:  Your post reminds me of the dilemma regarding 1st world problems, which are undeniably much less significant than 3rd world problems. Of course issues such as child abuse, child hunger, child slavery, etc are much more important than attachment parenting vs sleep training. But for the most part, the readership for mommy blogs are other mommies who are trying to navigate the day-to-day decisions about how to best raise their own children.  Mothers who would sell their kids for drug money aren’t reading these blogs.  Of course, it is good to raise awareness about these issues.  But that is a different venue than a mommy blog that is designed to help mothers navigate their daily role as mothers.

anon:  what does the issue of kids (who were forced to go to Steubenville) straying from the magesterium have to do with the issue of anonymity in mommy blogs?

It’s an issue I wrestle with too. I started my blog to journal through my struggle with infertility. I originally wrote it just for family and friends but it was “discovered” by other infertile Catholics and sort of “took off” in its own little way. One daughter later and my blog is just about my life. I write somewhat controversial posts on the Church and hot issues, but mostly just blog about day to day things. Should I have a separate blog for Church stuff and another for my daughter? Should I stop posting pictures? Should I stop blogging altogether? These are definitely things I’ve been weighing lately.

When I started my first blog 4 years ago my daughters were in college.  They were very aware of their online profile/exposure and requested that I not use their names or photos, which I respected.  My current blog is more topical than personal, but I continue the practice out of habit.  I keep myself quasi-anonymous also, but I’m not militant about it.  I really do wonder if those children really will want to be known, even in mommy-blog circles, as they grow older.

What constitutes an “underage” kid?  Is it 15 and under, or 12;  should we go with the movie rating system: G, PG-13, PG…  Seems pretty arbitrary, not to mention personal.  Aren’t they all underage until they are 18?

  I for instance would never put one of those hideous “booby” caps on my kid’s head to make a statement about breastfeeding at their expense, but I do post photos of our son on my fb and probably will or have posted on my blog.  I agree w. Dweeja here.  Staying connected w. social networking sites and blog really helps me feel less isolated in the middle of a week when it seems there are no other adults around.  My husband and I have discussed this and I also try to make my son feel important by doing online networking and work when he is otherwise occupied playing.

I can be paranoid about my son sometimes, but appropriate photos posted by me or a friend or family member with my permission has worked so far.  Reigning in the grandparents can be a tough one these days.  We live in a tech world; I mean my kid can interact w. our smartphones, kindle and the computer at 23 months.  We live in a different time and it’s important to educate and protect our little ones and ourselves.

What does kids straying have to do with this?

If you are a mommy blogger you show your kids that they can post their thoughts and put them out there.  Kids learn that they live on a big platform in which many people can see.  This is a normal way of life for them.  I just see that it can backfire down the road when said child is struggling and sees blogging as a way to express themselves.  It will be interesting what we see come out in the next 10 to 20 yrs. There is already of growing trend of blogs of children who were raised in fundamentalist/patriarchy/quiverfull christian homes and are now questioning alot of things. They share often on how they were raised and the dysfunction in it.  They now share as an adult what their experience was as a child.  And while it appeared to be the most godly way to be raised they have a different perspective and insight on it.

So my comment has to do with the bigger picture and the future of blogging.  I hope that clears up my thoughts for you.  I personlly would not want to be the child of a well known catholic blogger.  There is more of a risk than a benefit.  It places you in the Catholic public eye and places certain pressure on you.  I am a very private person and I understand others may feel differently and I respect that and wish them the best in their blogging world.

Sorry, I’m still not seeing the connection.  I follow a lot of Catholic mommy blogs, and I have yet to see one written by a mother who forces her kids to go to Steubenville or who advocates forcing kids to go to Steubenville against their will.

My blog is partly a “dad blog” and I don’t post identifiable pictures of my kids or anyone else’s. When I refer to my kids it’s always as “my son,” “my older daughter,” and “my younger daughter.” While it wouldn’t be impossible to find out my kids’ names, it would be hard and probably couldn’t be done completely online. Beyond security, I just don’t think they should show up at their first job interview with their potential employer in possession of our family album.

Everything that goes on the internet is searchable (unless it’s a private venue).  A few years ago, a friend of mine searched Christmas Baltimore Inner Harbor to find out what her family might like to do…and found a blog post of mine complete with pictures of my family.  Nothing was inappropriate and my kids were mostly grown but it’s the point that a mommyblog is public. I had to stop reading one blog because first the mother posted a picture of her little daughter without clothing. When I wrote privately out of concern, she listened to me graciously. But then she wrote a post, with a picture of the back of their van, as - she said - the whole family all left home on a trip, all except her and the baby.  Well, what do you know?  I actually did it myself once (no baby, just me left at home, and without the picture) & then went to bed to wonder what had gotten into me, and to pray for my own safety.  People can find us so very easily through our IP address…and all our hints.  Nevertheless, as much as we need to watch for stranger danger, most abuse happens in or near the home.  So let’s just make sure that we are physically and emotionally present to our children. Parents “missed” stuff long before the internet so our blogging or whatever won’t keep us from that any more than anything else, but let’s just try extra hard to make sure we are very present. Read to our kids, cuddle with them, discuss stuff with them, listen to them.  Let’s spend lots of time doing that without blogging about all of it.

The Time magazine cover was meant to be offensive,controversial and blogged about. Have you picked up Time, NEwsweek , Macleans ( the Canadian equivalent) lately? they are thin shadows of their former selves and are quickly fading away. Ignore it. My only thought is for the child, who will one day grow up, and wonder why his mom agreed to this , and why she posed so unlovingly.  News magazines generating controversy is an old story, and surprisingly something as natural as breastfeeding is controversial. And I should have followed my own advice and ignored it too.

This is a thought provoking topic. I think we are all learning what it is like to live in a transparent society. There’s a lesson in here for our children - and I agree that it comes down to context. What information is necessary/ok to share in what context? Everyone will draw the line in a different place. I teach my kids never to put anything in writing (or photo) that they wouldn’t want me, Gramma or Father Rob to see:-) So they need to see that I follow that same rule. We do our kids a disservice when we don’t teach them how to use the tools they are learning with intelligence and respect. Because the tools are going away.

I personally share stories about my children (and photos) on my blog and Facebook because the majority of my readers are other moms and they want to know that I am human - that they can relate to me because I have the same kind of family situations/challenges/joys. I don’t publish anything that would shame or embarrass my kids (and believe me, they’ll tell me if it does!). And I try not to use their names, although I agree that it wouldn’t take much for someone to figure it out.

As for the comparison to an incapacitated adult, let’s not dismiss that as a ridiculous notion. I believe there is a place for writing about that. Have you seen the Caring Bridge website? There is a lot of healing that comes from writing through the health crisis of a loved one. Of course, there are privacy settings on those sites too. But they fill a need for many people to express their feelings and communicate in writing to friends and family near and far during a time when they can’t talk in person.

It is completely unsafe to put information about yourself or your children on the internet, especially pictures and names. There is no such thing as privacy on the internet.

I don’t want anyone putting info about me out there, and I would not do that to anyone else. Children deserve the same respect and protection.  Even more so.

You can’t prevent all bad things - if someone wants to harm you using this method, they will find what they need - but there’s no sense helping them.

The thing is most mommybloggers I know don’t think of the internet as private but, like Jen says, as a part of the public square. I don’t think my kids are in any more danger because a stranger sees their picture and their name connected on my blog than they would be is a stranger heard me calling them by name in any other public space. I’ve yet to hear a single real-world example of an ill done to a child because of a mommyblogger posting his picture on her blog. If I can ask the naysayers, what exactly is the harm that you imagine because to me that always seems so nebulous. It’s always well, you know there are creepy people out there… but there are never real-life examples of things actually happening.

As for the future kids looking back on their mom’s blogging… my kids are growing up in a world in which Facebook has ALWAYS existed. And so have blogs. They think video chatting is the norm and seem to think that my cell phone is broken when they can’t see the image of the person they are talking to. In other words, I think you are applying an achronistic standard in some ways because I don’t think these kids will stand out at all from their peers. The internet is the public sphere to them as much as Church or the shopping mall is. They don’t make a distinction.

At the same time, I am always aware that strangers are reading and I wouldn’t knowingly post things on my blog that would be embarrassing to my children. As they grow older, I become more aware of their own self-awareness and censor more of what I write. I’d always be much more open about cute baby stories than about things my (future) pre-teens and teens will do; but this is no different than talking about them with friends. As children age you do begin to respect their privacy with your friends and relatives—or at least you should. I think you should never share online something about your kids that they would feel uncomfortable with you telling a friend about them to their face. (I don’t mean the slight discomfort of hearing yourself praised, though, the “Oh gee, Ma!” moments. I mean real embarrassment.)

Wow. Women who are outside the workforce “live utterly cut off from any real community.” Wow. False.

Josh, I was a little taken aback by that statement too.  There’s a part of me that understands it.  In my neighborhood at least, there are hardly any stay-at-home moms.  It doesn’t mean that I’m cut off from the community, but it does mean that it takes a lot of effort on my part to find a community that I can engage with.  The internet has been a huge help with this.  It still bothers me, though, that I have to get in the car to drive in order to interact with other mothers and young children.  Ironically, many companies (including mine;  I work part-time in the evenings) are moving toward telecommuting, so both men and women in the workforce are sometimes in situations where they don’t have as many community connections.  Funny how technology can both help with fostering community, and also detract from it.

I really like Jennifer’s blog and I know she doesn’t _really_ think _all_ stay-at-home moms are _completely bereft_ of any _substantial human interaction_. The writing logically points to that interpretation (what with the emphatic “utterly” and “real”) but I know that’s not what was meant. I was taking issue more with the identification of “workplace” and “real community.” To me, that is shocking. I’m assuming “real” here means “true” or “rightly ordered,” not “the thing exists,” e.g., “are ghosts real?” which doesn’t make sense here. Given that qualifier, I think many workplaces are not real communities at all—in the sense that they’re not good communities—but, without a doubt, workplaces are not the main or sole form of real community, which is a premise of “it’s unnatural for people to live utterly cut off from any real community, as is the case with moms who are outside of the workforce.” “No community in your life? Get a job.” Crazy talk. Surely there are workplaces that meet natural human needs for community. But many aren’t. Many are alienating. Many require the construction of an alternative persona—something that almost by definition undermines real community. I work outside the home, in an office with nice people who, by no one’s fault, will never provide me with a meaningful sense of community. My wife does not work outside the home and I’m the one asking her to invite other families over for dinner or set up other social activities. She gets her community through homeschooling groups, church friends, online activity, going out with friends at night, etc. And we have many young children, so I’m often amazed that she isn’t feeling stuck at home and all sad-sally about it. Anyway, enough rambling. Real community: definitely family; definitely church; maybe workplace, if you’re lucky.

Apparently comments here don’t autoformat _x_ to italics. Sorry if that was hard to read.

Totally agree, Josh.  Even without the neighborhood community that I wish we had, my son and I interact with the community all the time:  store clerks, librarians, other friends, etc.  I have never agree with the suggestions that stay-at-home moms need to get a job so they can interact with the world.  It reminds me of people who assume that all homeschooled kids are completely isolated from the greater community, which is a huge myth.

There are so many issues in play.  I feel very strongly about not posting recognizable photos of my children on my blog and I rarely do on facebook since I can’t control the use of that image.  Remember the story of the family whose Christmas card was on a Latvian billboard?  Eww..and that’s pretty innocuous.  I just feel like my children’s “digital personality” is theirs.  Posting a few pictures, ok.  But let’s face it a lot of mommy bloggers chronicle their children’s entire lives for all the world to see.  Sure, it might be limited, but we all know there is really know limit with the internet.  Besides, who knows if your kids funny video becomes the next youtube sensation with millions of hits.  There is no anonymity.  I remember reading that you should consider anything you put on your blog to be the same as posting it on a public billboard.  When I go out with my children and interact with strangers, I do have some element of control.  I can see who takes an inordinate interest in my children and who doesn’t.  But we don’t necessarily build relationships with strangers.  But if I post something and walk away, and keep posting daily, there is no telling who is developing a one sided relationship with my kids and their images.  And let’s face it- child p.orn is a huge problem.  I don’t know.  If my kids want to post pictures of themselves that’s fine when they are older, but I am not going to do it for them.  I love mommy blogs, but I guess I feel strongly that children should be more protected.  Also, by actively chronicling my children (which I have scaled back on) I noticed that they started performing for blog attention.  They’d say something funny and I would get a comment like an eager “Are you going to put that on your blog?”  Not what I am looking for in our family life.

I have a photo of my son as the logo-photo for a series of homeschooling reviews I did.  My daughter was mortified—at the picture itself, and at the captions that went with.  She is very sensitive about me embarrassing her in public, even about what I say to other moms one-on-one over coffee.  I turned to my son, he just shrugged, and said, “It’s fine.”  So that’s my rule.  As long as I’m respecting both my momsense and the child’s preferences, we’re good.

As military family, our blog is a way to keep in touch with our family and friends spread throughout the globe, and as a virtual diary of sorts since I can’t keep up with baby books.  I use it to share pictures and goofy stories and some of our struggles, but I am always aware that it is public.  So while I may write about bedwetting into the pre-teen ages and the frustration it causes, but I don’t get into some of the more intimate details.  I use real names and places, but I still stay sort of vague.  A regular reader could figure us out and stalk us, I suppose, but so could the check-out guy at Walmart.  If my kids were upset at something I posted, I’d probably respect their wishes, but so far they don’t seem to mind.

I think in the early childhood years, there really isn’t much of a “right to privacy.” I mean parents need to *always* make decisions in the best interest of their children within the bounds of what is socially appropriate etc, but I think back on my childhood (before blogs and the internet), and I am sure my mom discussed things like:

1. Feeding issues
2. Potty-training issues
3. My quirks and personality traits
4. Challenges in raising me and my sisters

Gosh, we have photo albums with us taking baths or picking our noses or acting silly. The local community knew my name, my age, my mom’s name, her occupation. She was listed publicly in the phone book. On and on. I agree that most mommyblogs fit under this catagory with the exception that moms should use a little extra discretion thanks to some unique dangers the internet could pose (like, you don’t want some stranger nabbing a pic of your kid and using it inappropriately w/out your knowledge). So tread carefully, but don’t necessarily shut down your blog or stop sharing your beautiful photos of family outings.

Now, as an adult, should my mom ignore a request to delete a photo or keep my contact info private? No, that would be wrong. But I am also no longer under her custody and care and the implications are very different at my age (31). I also disabled adults really are well, adults, and fit more into that privacy category than say, a baby under the care of a mom who wants to occasionally post his milestones or cute faces.