I could not agree more!  What a gift to be able to teach (slowly, but surely) respect, obedience, diligence, and sacrifice while the children are small and at home!  Instead, I feel I would be attempting to teach these lessons, subverted at school, exhausted at home, and then wonder why -my kids who will become- my teenagers ignore me, yell at me, and are generally defiant.  I recognize teenagers will be defiant at times regardless, but if they have a sense of Godliness, respect, obedience, and sacrifice then it only stand to reason that those episodes will be much less frequent and their priorities will be more in order.

I had an acquaintance (who had planned to home school) tell me that she was sending her 3 or 4 year old to school because she couldn’t get the child to obey and her daughter really liked to imitate other kids.

She, quite seriously, was thinking the girl would pick up reading and math better.  All I could think was, “But she’s not going to pick up a more obedient attitude.” 

You’re right about homeschooling revealing the cracks.  I know it’s taught me a lot about humility!

I agree that obedience is important, and you can’t just avoid it all the time. . . but on the other hand, isn’t there something to be said for not creating the maximum possible number of occasions of conflict that demand obedience?  Sometimes easier is better, not worse.  My husband and I just got a new dog.  At first, she strained at the leash terribly when walking.  We got a new, special collar that magically has her walking nicely by our side.  That’s not cheating, it’s being smart.  Everybody’s happier and she’s getting trained better.  She walks better on the old collar now too.  Not to say that kids are puppies - but most kids adore their kindergarten and first grade teachers and are desperately eager to please them, in a way they’re not for mom.  I don’t think that’s a bad thing, to be deplored as a symptom of family dysfunction; I think it’s a natural tendency of small children.  What’s wrong with capitalizing on that to get a child working at schoolwork, obeying classroom rules, printing neatly, etc., eagerly and joyfully rather than grudgingly and under compulsion?

MOntessosri homeschooling might eliminate a lot of the tussle.

personally- I think it magnifies MY shortcomings the most- but it is good to know this, so I can correct myself…

The fact of evolution conflicts with the mythology of Adam and Eve.  What are you going to teach, the fact or the mythology or both as though they did not conflict?  But you won’t teach that the Earth is only 6,000 years old the way a lot of home-school mothers do, will you?  Wait!  Jennifer never actually bothers to read and respond to comments, does she?

I hope to raise my children to be eager to please me. Even a dog is eager to please his master.  I have a friend who hopes her child’s teacher will teach her manners and to stop her sassiness. What a shame. Teachers are there to teach ABC and 123, not to teach values and manners. Explains why our public schools are in such a mess, teachers have a classroom full of kids who have no respect for authority.

“Homeschooling isn’t causing these problems,” she pointed out. “It’s just magnifying problems that were already there.”- Very wise of your friend!

13:1 is similar: “A wise son heeds his father’s instructions, but a scoffer does not listen to rebuke”.
30:17 “The eye that mocks his father and scorns obedience to his mother, the ravens of the valley will pick it out and the young eagles will eat it”

This gives us a good reason to make sure we teach children to obey us parents.

Mike, you are silly.  Fides et ratio my friend.

Yes, I once read that whatever kind of mother you are, that’s the kind of homeschooling teacher you will be.  I think women sometimes hope that the demands of homeschooling will transform them, or force them to become a different kind of mother, but it’s just as easy to find loopholes in homeschooling as it is in every other area of life.  Sometimes that magnifying glass of homeschooling points out flaws that can be corrected; and sometimes it just gives you a more realistic view of who you really are, flaws and strengths alike.  The key is to be honest with yourself, especially when there is so much at stake.

.

@Mike McCants:  So your point is that a homeschooling mother of five who writes for several national publications should be spending more time in the comment box, explaining the basics of the faith to you personally? Yeah, shame on her.

My husband and I decided to homeschool precisely because we could see cracks forming and we knew that help was needed.  For me, sending the kids to school was escaping the problem; whereas, keeping them home allowed me to face this challenge head on.  I am in counseling with a Catholic Therapist who has equipped me with wonderful tools that have helped in so many ways (well, when I implement them).  Is it easy?  Absolutely not.  Is it worth it to our family?  Absolutely. 

Those time when I feel like beating my head against the wall, when I look up to the skies and ask God, “Seriously?!?!  THIS is what you had planned for me?”  I remember (sometimes quicker than others) that those little faces are what are important - important enough to give up a career, but the yoke is not burdensome enough that I give up myself. 

As you stated, homeschooling is NOT for everyone - I have many friends (one you and I share in particular) who send their children to school, and yet they have a “homeschool heart.”  They realize they are the primary educators in the family, but choose to outsource some of the schooling (I liken it to going out to eat - We usually cook at home, but sometimes we go to a restaurant). 

We take it piece by piece and thank the Lord for each step I take with my sanity in tack

Thank you so much for your article. There are plenty of days when the kids are being sassy or not wanting to do their work & on those days I’m so tempted to send them to school so I don’t have to deal with it.  Your article was a great inspiration to me not to give in to those temptations & keep moving forward (with a more humble & thankful attitude for the opportunity to homeschool).

I don’t know about anyone else, but this article was for me. This year in our homeschooling venture (10 years) has been the hardest. Perhaps I should try to look at it from a hindsight perspective: I hope that God is working out things in my life and in my children’s lives.

I agree with the person who said that the dog tugging on the leash is not necessarily a problem…but I disagree about the solution.  Children need freedom, and it’s natural for them to “pull at the leash”.  It’s unnatural to expect them to want to sit still for long hours, especially at a young age. One of the freedoms of homeschooling is finding out how kids learn best and doing your best to make learning fun and interesting.  That doesn’t mean they don’t have to know Math!  But it does mean you can find ways to do math other than just sitting there with a workbook.  Every time I sat solving story problems in school, I thought why aren’t we just out there DOING what’s in the stories?  We’ve used an abacus, done cooking for measuring and fractions, made height/weight charts, conducted polls, divided snacks and pizzas for division, and all sorts of other interesting things for Math in the past.  And my child is doing very very well!  We had to make a portfolio, so we just took pictures of what we did.  I’ve also heard Math-u-see is a good program, thought it’s a bit pricey.

First of all let me say to “Mike”, I strongly suggest you find out what the Catholic Faith teaches with regard to evolution before you go trolling. This is what I and my home schooling wife needed to hear right now, thank you. Back to school with a new student and the magnifying glass is working overtime.

Bravo!! I hadn’t considered it that way but yes. You are absolutely right. Thanks for the encouragement.

@Mike McCants,
strange that you’re here, going on about evolution and faith, when Mark Shea JUST had a post addressing this very point, to which you have posted no (signed) comments:  http://www.ncregister.com/blog/mark-shea/does-evolutionary-science-disprove-the-faith/
It just might clear up a thing or two for you.

Two of my children went to public school from K-12 my other 2 started
homeschooling in 5th grade. You definitely can protect your children from the nonsense that public school provides and your children will get a better education.  Once mine were out on the street, they got good jobs, one even has a Bachelor’s degree. They aren’t in trouble with the law, they don’t do drugs. give to charity and as far as the world is concerned they are good citizens.
But their souls well that’s a whole ‘nother matter.

Homeschooling is holding a mirror to my face!  I’m imparting the 3 R’s and some enrichment, yes.  But I’m also handing over my passions, faults, manias, mannerisms, loves and hates.  Homeschooling is the most efficient flaw transference system in the world!  But really, it’s wonderful! :)

As the mother of two homeschool grads and one to go, I couldn’t agree more! I discovered that after we pulled the older two out of public school, it took us awhile to get used to being together. Once we did, homeschooling came together.

If you want to hear from other families who homeschool, there’s a free 180-page digital magazine you can read that is encouraging and inspiring. You don’t have to register or give your email. Read it here: http://www.thehomeschoolmagazine-digital.com/thehomeschoolmagazine/freegift#pg2

Well said, Jennifer!

I can see so many benefits to homeschooling and if I was a young mother again I think I might give it a try. But one of the things that always bothers me is what I perceive as the lack of a disciplined schedule among so many homeschool families and even an assumption that it’s one of the better things about homeschooling.

While it can certainly make learning more fun to be spontaneous and creative and individualized vs the tedium of planned learning - isn’t school, especially for the older kids, also about the discipline of learning to do what we need to do when we need to do it, even when it’s not fun or not what we wish we were doing? That is a life skill that is necessary for the majority of people to learn in order to be a mature adult. A traditional school schedule teaches skills for the adult work life and after-all school is a child’s job.

I think successful homeschooling has to combine the best of both. If everyone is cranky or distracted and mom is getting frustrated so she says “Let’s go to the zoo or the aquarium, etc.” (a strategy I see recommended alot in homeschool blogs), they all might learn something new and interesting and ‘fun’ - but have they all, including mom, learned that when the going get’s tough it’s OK to take off and do something fun? Isn’t that coming dangerously close to teaching instant gratification which we have too much of in our culture?

Oregon, I had a similar view of homeschooling at one time.  When we were discerning whether homeschooling was for us, I read a lot about unschooling and quickly realized that there was no way that would work for us.  I wanted a structured and challenging curriculum for our children.

These do exist.  We chose the curriculum offered by the Angelicum Academy, a classical liberal arts course of study.  While we are still in the early years, we’ve seen what the future holds.  Our children will need to work very hard to complete the program, much harder than I had to work at school (even at my “college prep” academic magnet school).

You can see some sample daily schedules of other Angelicum students here: http://angelicum.net/curriculum/enrollment/sample-weekly-schedule/

As far as the traditional school schedule and what it teaches, I invite you to read the following essay from an award-winning school teacher:

http://www.newciv.org/whole/schoolteacher.txt

There are a lot of different ways to homeschool.  Sometimes sitting down to do school work doesn’t work for kids.  (It would have worked for me, but my brother would have ended up dangling from the chandelier.)  I have friends who have school rooms, and others who subscribe to “unschool”.  Sitting down to do math might be torture.  Doing a game that involves having to group, number, see relationships might be just the ticket.

I think that one of the wonderful things about homeschooling is that you can tailor the approach to how your child learns best.  It might take some trial and error, but every kid really wants to learn.  I’m convinced of that after more than 30 years in education.

Michelle, I read the article you linked to. In a way, he actually makes my point - that school schedules help teach skills needed in many of our workplaces, although he is cynical about that fact. I think his larger point is that he doesn’t like the society we have and schools were designed to reinforce that society. That’s another point entirely.

I don’t disagree with some of his observations, but we also have to be realistic about the culture - it is a pyramid as he points out and becoming more so everyday to the detriment of the middle class. But do we teach to our ideal of what we wish our culture was or to the realities of what our kids will need to make their way in it? I suppose the best teachers do some of both.

For the person who commented that there’s nothing wrong with children wanting to please their teacher more so than pleasing their parents, don’t forget that at third grade that enthusiasm has been shown to go way down hill.  There should be no reason why your children can obey someone else but not you.  That’s ridiculous!  What will happen the day your child has issues with behavior or academics in school and the teacher calls YOU???  If it’s YOUR son or daughter, she may as well not pick up the phone because your child obeys the teacher more than the parents.  How will you be able to help?  Come on people, wake up!

Well, after taking the time to plow through ‘The Underground History of American Education’ by John Taylor Gatto earlier this summer I became convinced that a child would be better off roaming the streets all day than in school.  Of course, we have an obligation to educate our children, so there is really no other choice than homeschooling.  If you want your eyes opened wide, give it a read.  It is a heck of a tome, but well worth the investment of time.  Your kids are worth it!

“But do we teach to our ideal of what we wish our culture was or to the realities of what our kids will need to make their way in it?”

Well, as a Catholic, I feel compelled to teach the ideal.  The ideal is what will see a child through to adulthood, no matter what kind of world they end up in.  We have no way of knowing what the future will look like.  I listen to my teacher friends bemoan the latest education fad foisted on them by the state or the Department of Education.  Is there any kid in this country who has followed a consistent educational philosophy from kindergarten through twelfth grade?

The logical path, at least for our family, was to homeschool.  In homeschooling, we will be able to provide our children with the classical liberal arts education that all adults should have.  I don’t want my children to be dependent on the culture around us.  I want them to strive to be better, to think and act independently, and, above all, have their faith nurtured and strengthened.

While I believe in homeschooling 100% I also see that it is not a venture for all families.  I see too, that age is of a great benefit to all involved!  Me, the kids, the dogs, you name it.  My oldest has been my trial child, and had she gone to public schools, in my rural area, she would most likely have had a series of newbie teachers and not a one who cared for her as I and her father care about her.  Also, all education has holes.  I had them, most like so did you in your schooling.  And if that particular class or course was important to you or your higher college education, guess what?  You enrolled in the class and filled up that hole with the missing information!  It’s a no brainer.
One of the bizarre things about a traditional school system to me is the endless days.  How do you explain that a 2nd grader and a 12th grader need to be in school the same amount of time?  My elementary school students do not study all day, but my highschool students really do study all day and a large part of the evenings too. My family life has benefited from homeschooling as well, I find that for the most part, we enjoy each others company and we have the bit of extra time to help care for and visit aging relatives.  I will always be an unabashed homeschooling advocate and happily my oldest daughter wants to homeschool her children some day as well.

I appreciated this article, but wondered if maybe it’s “school” that magnifies (or even creates) these problems. If you try and replicate school at home you will likewise replicate the problems—seriously, how many parents fight with their kids about getting to school on time and/or doing their homework? I encourage you to consider unschooling—Suzie Andres’ recent book A Little Way of Homeschooling is an excellent introduction and offers examples from several families of different ways of unschooling. I’ve seen so many homeschool moms burn out and send their kids back to school because they couldn’t break free from their preconceived idea of what education should look like, then felt guilty either because they were fighting with their children all the time or else not getting done what some curriculum provider told them they should be doing. And, like you said, the problems don’t go away when the kids are in school. Good luck and God bless!

I am a product of Catholic schools, grades K through graduate school.  I returned to parochial schools to teach high school for almost a decade before I had my son last year and I am now home with him.  So that is the perspective with which I see education I suppose.  I know many families who chose homeschooling for their families and it works for them.  I think that is wonderful.  However, I do not think that there is only one perfect way to educate one’s children and it is disheartening to read comments from (presumably) Catholic parents almost scolding other parents for not doing what is ‘best’ for their families (ie homeschooling).  Catholic schools have long been a shining example in our society of schools that work.  It doesn’t mean they are better than homeschooling (or even public schools for that matter) but I firmly believe they do a fantastic job educating young people.  Sure, there are a few lose screws that teach about “Mother Earth” and other rubbish, but I find them few and far between.  Besides, I personally know of a few kids who were homeschooled and they had the hardest time adjusting to the real world after they left their parents’ home.  But I also know of some who are the most well adjusted adults I’ve ever met.  It can’t be everything to all people.

Also, young children should be mostly learning skills, not a necessarily a classical liberal arts education.  That is best imparted on adults, college students mostly.  You spend your early years learning the basics and then you spend your college years asking the really difficult why questions.  There is a secondary school near me that opened recently and offers a classical liberal arts Catholic education and their skills are so weak (especially in math and science but also in basic study skills) that most of them need to supplement a year of community college before they are fully ready for a four year institution.  And some are ready from the day they enter, but those are the kids who don’t need good teachers.  They would learn on their own just fine and are probably good candidates for homeschooling! :)

I have more respect for the simple, hardworking skilled laborer than the philosopher king who can’t get a real job to support his family.  Sorry.  I know plenty of philosophy majors from college and most of them had to go back to school to learn skills for a job that would support a family.  Some have become college professors and some priests, but the rest all had to go back to school.  I am trying to imagine a liberal arts graduate (meaning they had no specific major) walking into an civil engineering firm and saying he knows the ideals behind civil engineering and thus should be able to do the job perfectly.  I’m not saying no one should learn any of those wonderful ideas, I just think there is much merit to learning skills.  Skills like math and science that many students (public, private, and home schooled) are lacking!

Oregon, I think the notion that going to school teaches discipline and schedule adherence is ludicrous. I have 6 siblings - we all went to the same Catholic parochial school 1st through 8th and then the same Catholic high school. Our discipline as adults varies according to our personalities. I have a type A sister who is very disciplined, so disciplined that she is sometimes infexible. Another sister is very easy going and she is always, always late for everything.
The point many homeschoolers (including unschoolers) make is that there are many, many opportunities in life for learning “to do what you don’t like or want to do,” (especially when you grow up in a large family) besides education. In fact, strict scheduling and infexibility often are conterproductive to learning and cause resitence to learning.

“Mark Shea JUST had a post addressing this very point”
Hilarious.  Of course there is a fundamental problem - the whole point of Adam and Eve is The Fall and Original Sin.  There is also the little question of a “soul”.  So it’s religious turtles all the way down.  The point is that it’s all a myth and the science of human evolution is completely incompatible with the myth.
“It just might clear up a thing or two for you.”
Nope.  Too late.  I’ve already read the appropriate commentary at other non-religious sites.  The religious sites are just “we have to make our myth work with the science” or “maybe the science is wrong”.

\\What are you going to teach, the fact or the mythology or both as though they did not conflict? \\

They don’t conflict.

Whether you go by Genesis or Darwin, there were still a first male and first female Homo sapiens.

Genesis, however, does a better job of explaining the present messy human condition.

At our house, everything stops for character training. Training in this area is the most important aspect of homeschooling.

I know my child will learn what she needs to know for her future in academics. That is the easy part. But if she gets perfect SAT scores and has not learned the importance of truthfulness, integrity, kindness, making a sincere effort, and perseverance—she will be ill equipped to function as an adult.

NB, I think you may be misinformed as to what a true classical liberal arts education looks like at the high school level.  Mathematics and the sciences are integral parts.  I think the issue is apparent in your statement concerning philosophy majors you knew from college.  Philosophy has been corrupted by our modern school system into something useless.  Philosophy of old was a search for knowledge.  It was physics and geometry, not navel-gazing.

A true classical liberal arts curriculum is structured appropriately for a child’s learning potential.  You start with a grammar stage, progress to a logic stage, and end in rhetoric.  At that point, the child is ready to advance with the skills and knowledge necessary to participate in the Great Conversation at the adult level.  It is a logical progression, as you can see here: http://angelicum.net/curriculum/enrollment/curriculum-book-list-2/

Lastly, I do hope that I don’t come across as scolding.  Homeschooling is what works for us, but I harbor no illusion that it’s the best for every family.  It is the right of every parent to decide how best to educate their children.

Been there, done that!  LOL Your article certainly speaks volumes to me. I have been right where you were and thought the same thing (should I send my child back to school???). I had to come to the realization that “I” had to change things before my daughter was going to change…homeschooling wasn’t the problem. Thanks for being real.

Joyfully,
Jackie
www.quaintscribbles.wordpress.com

You could get some holy water, preferably blessed by the pre-vatican 11 formula ( available in a old post in Fr. Tim Finnigan’s blog ) and sprinkle it every morning and night in every room of the house. It will work wonders.

“there were still a first male and first female Homo sapiens.”
Nope.  That statement is contrary to science.  There have been “bottlenecks” in the far distant past of perhaps 5,000 to 10,000 individuals of particular species.  The labels “homo” and “homo sapiens” are quite arbitrary and always under discussion.
“Genesis, however, does a better job of explaining the present messy human condition.”
Hilarious.  What do you think that Genesis “explains” that 100,000 years of evolution does not explain?  How could a myth be better than the truth?  Only those who accept the myth are allowed into the social club and it really is a nice club?
“sprinkle it every morning and night in every room of the house.”
Hilarious.  Whose attitude would that affect?

I recently had a Facebook friend post that her preschooler was in time-out on the second day and lamenting that he didn’t mind the teacher any better than he minds her.  All I could think is:  what do you expect when you foist your discipline problem on someone else?

NB, I am also the product of 12 years of Catholic school.  I received a fairly decent fact-based education although it was very short on critical thinking skills.  The problem is that most Catholic schools follow the exact same basic structure of public schools except with more discipline.  And religion was treated just like another subject in which you took notes and passed tests (and some of the doctrine we took notes and passed tests about was sketchy or had big holes).  Of all the people I went to Catholic school with at least half ended up in blue-collar jobs and at least half are no longer even nominally practicing Catholic.

If I it were necessary to send my kids to school and I had the money, I would sent them to the local Christian Montessori rather than the Catholic grade school because the fundamental educational structure is more individualized like homeschooling.  The best thing Catholic schooling as going for it is building up Catholic fellowship.

And your bias against a liberal arts education reveals that you are a “well-schooled” person.  First of all, I should point out that most of the Founding Fathers, besides being homeschooled, were doing what is now college-level work during their teenage years.  You’ve embraced the myth of adolescence and dumbed-down educational standards.

Secondly, you assert that the only kids for whom homeschooling would be best are those who are self-motivated learners who would thrive in any educational setting.  However, how do you explain the “slow-learners”, special education, and unmedicated ADHD kids that thrive in homeschooling?  It’s because they have a smaller student/teacher ratio and they aren’t expected to fit into the school box.  If anything the “non-exceptional” students need homeschooling more than anyone.

Third, since homeschoolers tend to have more free time once you cut out all of the unnecessary busy-work from school they have more time to do internships, work part time jobs, and learn household skills.  Furthermore, homeschooling parents are more likely to allow a child to skip college if they show an aptitude and desire to learn a respectable trade and offer more constructive criticism for college/career preparation than a guidance counselor who barely knows the teen except by their test scores and may have their own agenda/biases. 

The reason so many kids end up as liberal arts majors is that they were so busy in high school trying to pad their college applications with extra courses and extra-curricular activities (because they erroneously told that no college will accept them otherwise) that they have very little time to actually think about their goals beyond high school graduation or explore their options.  Then they go onto college because that’s what they were told automatically comes after high school, and they just major in some subject that they think they could stand to study extensively without slitting their wrists even if they don’t have any clear career in mind because the myopic goal is just to graduate with a degree, any degree.

Seriously Mike, go over to catholic.com and hash out your grievances there.  You may even find some answers :-)  Don’t hijack this thread about homeschooling with your offtopic questions.  There are enough places for debating your questions on the internet.

Mike McCants:  I don’t think you know what the word “myth” means.  This is the primary definition according to Merriam-Webster—“a usually traditional story of ostensibly historical events that serves to unfold part of the world view of a people or explain explain a practice, believe, or natural phenomenon”.  You seem to only be able to understand the third definition—“a person or thing having only an imaginary or unverifiable existence”.

You also seem to not understand the difference between “truth” and “fact”.  I suggest you look up those definitions as well Even a completely fictional story can express a truth even if it does not express a fact.  (In fact the best novels usually reflect several truths.)  However, a myth does not have to be factual to be true.  While some Christians treat the Bible as completely factual, the Catholic Church believes it is inerrantly truthful.

Here’s another word for you:  “criticism”.  You are very good at definition #1, but the other two definitions have much more academic integrity than your immature mocking.

And you seem really concerned that Jen might be teaching her kids creationism via homeschooling but are you as concerned about all the myths (in either definition of the word) that children are taught in schools, especially history and sex education classes?

Not trying to stir the hornets nest on post with an abundance of comments, but it should be acknowledged that homeschooling is not ideal: affordable, orthodox, single-sex, Catholic schools are…and were the norm not long ago when homeschooling was much rarer. I am not unaware that the ideal is indeed very rare now and homeschooling may be the only alternative, but it seems to me if you are comfortable with the atmosphere of the typical large suburban parish you attend then you should be ok with the similar atmosphere at the nearby diocesan schools, who most assuredly would benefit from you involvement.

TexasCatholic:  It depends on what you consider affordable.  I have four kids, three of the four would need some sort of daycare if I worked outside the home and the daycare cost would be more than any salary I made (not to mention the costs of a second car, work wardrobe, more convenience foods, etc).  Therefore it is more financially sound for me to stay-at-home.  My annual homeschooling costs (this year I have a 3rd grader, a kindergartner, and preschooler, but in previous years it’s been an elementary school child and preschooler) average about $400 because I make my own curriculum, take advantage of my public library, and choose purchased curriculum based on reusability with younger children.  Homeschooling is WAY more affordable for my family than Catholic school between tuition, fundraising, and all of the other extra school expenses.

I don’t know why homeschooling is automatically less orthodox.  After all, parents are called to be the primary educators of the faith for their children.  Probably one of the biggest problems with Catholicism today is that so many parents just put their kids in Catholic school and assume that their only other duty as Catholic parents is to take the kids to Mass on Sunday (if that).  And Lord knows Catholic schools do not guarantee orthodoxy; actually, this is a primary reason that many parents are pulling their kids out of Catholic schools.

Yes, “schools” be they Catholic or public would benefit from my involvement but would MY kids benefit from their involvement in schools?  I’m not saying that all schools are all bad for all kids, but the majority of middle class and upper-middle class kids would thrive MORE (academically, psychologically,socially, morally) in a home-based environment.  This idea that schools are the best place for all kids to be educated is a modern concoction that has not necessarily been exhibited by history.  Look at how many great statesman, inventors, etc. were schooled in a private environment by tutors/parents or completely dropped out of school and taught themselves.

And I really like my large suburban parish, but my two wonderful priests are not the ones who teach the classes at the parish school or organizes the faith formation.  And while our DRE is really nice and orthodox woman, the parish religious education program is a mess.  I can only hope that the religious education program in the school is better with a Nashville Dominican as the principal.

Ok Mike, you’re right, we’re wrong, go get a cookie.

I agree with Anne and Karen.  For home education to be joyful, nurturing the relationship between parent and child has to come first.  Attachment parenting and Catholic unschooling make this possible.  Then, character-training and academics will follow more easily. 
    I know because I’ve been doing it with my own kids, the eldest of whom is now in a well-respected, faithful, Catholic college.  As Anne said, read Suzie Andres’s wise book, “A Little Way of Homeschooling.”   
    The traditional school system was patterned after the factory model.  Therefore, doing “school-at-home” is not natural for the family and only creates unnecessary problems.  No wonder children resist the system—both in school and at home.  We, ourselves, who grew up with the system, can’t even remember much of what we had learned in school. 
    Don’t waste these precious years with your children. Home education was meant to be natural and joyful, just like it was with the Holy Family during their hidden years in Nazareth.

TexasCatholic:  “who most assuredly would benefit from you involvement” —> I had that same sentiment but not the words to describe it.  (Continual sleep deprivation does that to a person).  My husband was fortunate to attend a Benedictine Military Academy for Boys and if we lived closer to where he grew up, I would love to send our son there (providing we had the means or got a scholarship!).  Schools like this one have been so rewarding for many students, especially those in urban areas where the public schools fail to meet student needs. 

I don’t see Catholic schools as just brick and mortar institutions based on the factory model.  I am sorry that some of you may have had a poor experience at your Catholic school.  They aren’t perfect and perhaps are not the right fit for everyone.  It is an unfortunate reality that the dwindling religious have forced Catholic schools to hire lay teachers and thus driven the cost of a Catholic Education up.  Ideally, Catholic schools should be affordable to all who want one.  I think helping to push for things like school vouchers and alumni donations can help ease this burden on families. 

Catholic schools are more than a building!  Catholic schools are communities.  We would always have my teachers over for dinner growing up.  I think of my former co-workers as family, I’ve known some of them for so long.  They came to my wedding, celebrated the birth of my son.  Hugged me and cried with me when I lost my first child due to a miscarriage.  When a student would lose a parent, every single one of his/her 100 or so classmates would show up at the wake and funeral.  I think of my students over the years, each one as different as the next.  I think of the boy with Autism who wouldn’t even look at his peers as a Freshman and went on to star in the school play by his Senior year.  The Sophomore refugee who has 9 siblings at home, a single mother who doesn’t speak English, whose tuition was mysteriously payed for by a generous alum.  The Senior girl, who chose life over an abortion after being affected by what she heard in Theology class and on the March for Life.  (Life is messy, and that last one is always tough in high school - and usually few and far between.)  We attend Mass together as a community.  We pray together.  I think of all the parents I’ve met who have been very involved in the school community, many of them teachers at that school. 

You are right, parents have the right and obligation to see to their child’s education.  But no where in the Catechism of the Catholic Church does it say that has to happen exclusively at home!  Every family makes decisions that are best for their family.  But if you have access to an affordable, Catholic school, I can’t see a reason (personally) not to give it a chance!  :)

“As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” Our families sharpen us, too. My children go to school, but I see more sanctifying when the children are home on break or for the summer. We can’t provoke, frustrate, and fight each other when we’re separated. I’ve heard other families who have gone from homeschooling to traditional school recognize the difference. I wouldn’t choose homeschooling just to “see the cracks,” but it’s certainly something that can be used as a great tool to grow in godliness. A great time for weed pulling!!!

Michelle - (I just read your comment - thank you for the link!)  I briefly looked at the list and had read most of the titles at some point in my education (although I was not familiar with a few of the textbook series, so I can’t comment on those without seeing them but I would gather they were good textbooks).  It does look very thorough, although, I would look at that and say - if I can send my son to a school where he can study that and have the benefits of a Catholic school community, I would definitely chose to send him to a Catholic school.  However, if we did not have access to an affordable Catholic school (or not any good ones) and the public schools around us were horrid, I would definitely consider using such a curriculum!  I think the internet has played a huge role in education and I can see how it can make homeschooling much easier than it was for kids when I was growing up.  (I actually know how to use a card catalogue - I don’t think most kids today know what that is anymore, do libraries even still have them??  )

Barbara C. - Thank you for your response to my comment.  Sure, I am well schooled.  Thank you for the compliment!  ;)  I loved school, I loved learning.  I always have and I hope I always will.  I loved meeting new kids in my class, I loved all my teachers.  My mom says I ran away from her and towards the school building on day one, and I didn’t leave for a long time (20 years).  Maybe I was just blessed with great teachers, good schools, fantastic parents, a caring Catholic community, or I’m automotan made in a factory.  The world may never know! 

(Sorry, just trying to be funny, not smart.)

“Seriously Mike, go over to catholic.com and hash out your grievances there.”
That author really does read and respond to the comments.  And it seems to me that he threatened one commenter with banishment.  I doubt that I would last 5 seconds.
“You may even find some answers.”
You are hilarious.  The “answers” there are how to shoehorn Catholic doctrine into the scientific facts.  They fail.  My comments about their failure would be rejected of course.
“a usually traditional story of ostensibly historical events that serves to unfold part of the world view of a people or explain explain a practice, believe, or natural phenomenon”
But the problem is there there is no justification for these “ostensibly historical events” and the use of “natural phenomenon” disqualifies your book of mythology.  So the “explanation” is useful only to “explain” your religious practice and beliefs.  That’s not useful at all in my opinion.
“You also seem to not understand the difference between “truth” and “fact”.”
Hilarious.  From Wikipedia:  “Various theories and views of truth continue to be debated among scholars and philosophers. There are differing claims on such questions as what constitutes truth; what things are truthbearers capable of being true or false; how to define and identify truth; the roles that revealed and acquired knowledge play; and whether truth is subjective or objective, relative or absolute.”
“Even a completely fictional story can express a truth”
What does that have to do with “Adam and Eve”?  As far as science is concerned, there is no “truth” in that fictional story.
“the Catholic Church believes it is inerrantly truthful.”
Well, that’s typical for “belief without evidence”.

After I wrote the above, I opened “Why Evolution is True” and read the following:  “There’s a remarkable piece by Mark Shea in the National Catholic Register, “Does evolutionary science disprove the faith?”  It’s remarkable mainly for its claim that you can extract historical and scientific truth from the palpable lies of the Bible.”
Than after a discussions, comes “Yes, we scientists (and rationalists) are severely disadvantaged in comparison to “Catholic tradition” and its theologians. We aren’t allowed to make up untestable stories to buttress our preconceptions, especially when they’re proven wrong.”

I love that my kids go to school.  It’s so much better for all of us.  My 9 yo is very challenging to me and the other members of our family.  Every other minute at our house is spent in conflict with this child.  At school?  He’s a superstar.  Teachers love him, he’s a leader among his fellow students, he needs to have school.  It benefits him in a real way.  And it provides peace for our house.

tb, I’m glad that school is working well for you and your son.  My oldest daughter is extremely challenging, too. There is a lot of conflict and a lot of drama, yet she too is always well-behaved for her coaches (gymnastics, softball) and teachers (guitar, ceramics).  However, I have known adults who come off as the most nice and easy-going person in their job and come home and bully their family.  They work hard to put on good appearances outside the house, and then think they should be allowed to let it all the bad and ugly hang out at home. 

My concern is that my challenging daughter would be one of those people.  If she can’t learn how to get along in our family setting now, what is she going to be like when she gets married and has a family of her own?  If my child can be nice with teachers, then there should be no reason why she can not be nice with me.  Yes, familiarity breeds contempt and there are personality clashes, but that’s just real life with real people.  In some ways it’s more important to treat the people that love you and whom you claim to love with dignity and respect than the people who just kind of know you.  (The truth is that no teacher is going to love my kid as much as I do, not knowing them for only nine months and probably having few personal interactions with them in that time.)

Oh, I completely agree. As a homeschool veteran (my two graduated from homeschooling, one is now a college grad and the other a senior this year) I remember well when the kids were much younger and other parents would say, “oh I don’t think I could stand to be around my kids all day.” My unspoken response was always, “if you can’t stand to be around your kids all day, why do you think anyone else can?”

My kids were not perfect, but we learned to get along quite well and I must say by the high school years we enjoyed our homeschool experiences about 90% of the time. I miss those times more than I can say.

I wanted to homeschool, I really did.  And I discovered that it was a battle, 24/7, and my son’s education was at stake.  It magnified all of my parenting issues, and on top of that, he couldn’t read.  Sending him to school part-time did eliminate many of our struggles.  Did he still need to learn to obey? Yes.  But I got a break for 4 hours of the day, I had the support of a community that also expected him to obey, and as an added bonus, he was exposed to positive peer pressure—as in, all of his friends could read, and they enjoyed reading.  Suddenly, reading (which is an important life skill!) was no longer a battle.  I would encourage anyone who feels like it homeschooling is not working but who thinks it is what they *should* be doing to explore other options and see if God has another plan for your family.

Barbara C, I totally agree with you!  Relationship with God, parents and siblings should come first.  As Johann Wolfgang von Goethe said, “He is happiest, be he king or peasant, who finds peace in his home.”

God made children to learn.  If placed in a healthy home learning environment, with loving family relationships from the beginning of life, children will thrive and learn.  As Anne Sullivan said, “Children require guidance and sympathy far more than instruction.”

NB, the educational system is patterned after the factory model, not the caring communities in Catholic schools.  If anyone is interested in learning more about it, these books are helpful:

1.  How Children Learn by John Holt

http://www.amazon.com/Children-Learn-Classics-Child-Development/dp/0201484048/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1316587755&sr=1-1

“Birds fly, fish swim, man thinks and learns.  Therefore, we do not need to motivate children into learning by wheedling, bribing or bullying. We do not need to keep picking away at their minds to make sure they are learning. What we need to do, and all we need to do, is bring as much of the world as we can (to them); give children as much help and guidance as they ask for; listen respectfully when they feel like talking; and then get out of the way. We can trust them to do the rest.”

~  John Holt in “How Children Learn”

2.  Learning All The Time by John Holt

http://www.amazon.com/Learning-All-Time-John-Holt/dp/0201550911/ref=pd_sim_b4

Since we can’t know what knowledge will be most needed in the future, it is senseless to try to teach it in advance. Instead, we should try to turn out people who love learning so much and learn so well that they will be able to learn whatever needs to be learned.

~  John Holt

3.  How Children Fail by John Holt

http://www.amazon.com/Children-Fail-Classics-Child-Development/dp/0201484021/ref=pd_sim_b1

The anxiety children feel at constantly being tested, their fear of failure… severely reduces their ability both to perceive and to remember, and drives them away from the material being studied.

~  John Holt

4.  Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling by John Taylor Gatto

http://www.amazon.com/Dumbing-Down-Curriculum-Compulsory-Schooling/dp/0865714487/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1316588000&sr=1-1

“Knowledge which is acquired under compulsion obtains no hold on the mind.” - Plato

Where my reason, imagination or interest were not engaged, I would not or I could not learn.  ~ Winston Churchill

“It is possible to store the mind with a million facts and still be entirely uneducated.”  ~  Alec Bourne

Barbara C, I totally agree with you!  Relationship with God, parents and siblings should come first.  As Johann Wolfgang von Goethe said, “He is happiest, be he king or peasant, who finds peace in his home.”

God made children to learn.  If placed in a healthy home learning environment, with loving family relationships from the beginning of life, children will thrive and learn.  As Anne Sullivan said, “Children require guidance and sympathy far more than instruction.”

NB, the educational system is patterned after the factory model, not the caring communities in Catholic schools.  If anyone is interested in learning more about it, these books are helpful.  You can borrow them at your local library or buy them from Amazon.com.

1.  How Children Learn by John Holt

Birds fly, fish swim, man thinks and learns.  Therefore, we do not need to motivate children into learning by wheedling, bribing or bullying. We do not need to keep picking away at their minds to make sure they are learning. What we need to do, and all we need to do, is bring as much of the world as we can (to them); give children as much help and guidance as they ask for; listen respectfully when they feel like talking; and then get out of the way. We can trust them to do the rest.

~  John Holt in “How Children Learn”

2.  Learning All The Time by John Holt

Since we can’t know what knowledge will be most needed in the future, it is senseless to try to teach it in advance. Instead, we should try to turn out people who love learning so much and learn so well that they will be able to learn whatever needs to be learned.

~  John Holt

3.  How Children Fail by John Holt

The anxiety children feel at constantly being tested, their fear of failure… severely reduces their ability both to perceive and to remember, and drives them away from the material being studied.

~  John Holt

4.  Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling by John Taylor Gatto

Knowledge which is acquired under compulsion obtains no hold on the mind. - Plato

Where my reason, imagination or interest were not engaged, I would not or I could not learn.  ~ Winston Churchill

It is possible to store the mind with a million facts and still be entirely uneducated.  ~  Alec Bourne

One last quote—by Fr. George Rutler:

“I’d encourage your youngest one to abandon kindergarten altogether. Almost everything I learned was learned outside the classroom, and school itself interrupted my education.

Moreover, school locks you in with your peers. That is a mistake. One’s social circle should never include one’s equals. From my earliest years I found children uninteresting and always preferred the company of adults. This was an advantage, because I got to know lots of folks who are dead now whom I never would have known if I had waited until I was an adult. 

So I have a collective memory - and oral tradition - that goes back to the eighteenth century, having spoken with people who knew people who knew people who knew people who lived then.

The only real university is the universe and a city its microcosm. That is why an expression like “New York University” is foolish. New York City is the university….

Instead of school, children should spend some hours each day in hotel lobbies talking to the guests. They should spend time in restaurant kitchens and shops and garages of all kinds, learning from people who actually make the world work….

One day spent roaming through a real classical church building would be the equivalent of one academic term in any of our schools, and a little time spent inconspicuously in a police station would be more informative than all the hours wasted on bogus social sciences.

Formal lessons would only be required for accuracy in spelling and proficiency in public speaking, for which the public speakers in our culture are not models, and in exchange for performing some menial services a child could learn the violin, harp, and piano from musicians in one of the better cocktail lounges, or from performers in the public subways….

So I urge you to keep your child out of kindergarten, because kindergarten will only lead to first grade and then the grim sequence of grade after grade begins and takes its inexorable toll on the mind born fertile but gradually numbed by the pedants who impose on the captive child the flotsam of their own infecundity.”

I’m a retired public school teacher. When problems occur during the homeschooling process they are occuring in the home, and that is just where they should be handled. Mom (or Dad)learns as much as the kids. “Family dynamics” surface, at times with a vengeance. Good! Deal with it; You’ll be doing everyone a favour.

Three features of a successful homeschool experience include self-discipline, family discipline, and curriculum, in that order.  The homeschooling family has the advantage of practicing discipline all day long, every single day.  So, you can see from the very beginning the beatitude of homeschooling – the very thing many families try to avoid, that is being together so much – is in fact, a blessing from God.

Dear Jen,

Well, Catholic comboxes sure are a lesson in self-restraint.  I think I could spend ALL DAY trying to convince Mike that science is constantly reversing its considered opinion on EVERYTHING.  We are finding out new information from old skeletons, frozen in the tundra, yes.  But we are also finding out about more miracles from the Church that actually do prove God’s existence.  Sadly, miracles are usually only witnessed by a few people.  And the saddest thing of all is that people like Mike don’t believe what other people say through Faith.  If I told you that my grandfather came back from the dead, would you believe me?  If I told you that many scientists have come back from Darwin’s finch theories totally dismayed at the “scientific facts” he supposedly uncovered, would you believe me?  You betcha, I’m teaching my homeschooled children how to research facts, look at evidence, and above all, listen to their Faith.  For all you science lovers out there, I’ve taken astronomy at the college level, and no one knows how old the world is.  Or how many days it took to create Earth.  Cheers!

@Mike- Hmmm- Teach your kids the World is only 6,000 yrs old like “Most” Homeschoolers!?!? What are you talking about? That is quite the Stereotypical, not too mention, Falsey, statement! Where exactly do you get your information from?

“Mythology” of Adam and Eve?!?! Evolution?!?! Again, where do you get your info from? First off, Technically Evolution is a Myth as well!! Scientist have NOT been able to proove this HYPOTHESIS! Evolution is NOT a Fact! There is GIANT parts of this so called Evolutionary Hypothesis that is COMPLETELY Missing! Though, with that FACT stated- I do believe in God and Evolution! Just like a young child needs to learn crawl before they can walk, or stand before they can run, humans, after Adam and Eve disobeyed God, had to start from the beginning and to prove their readiness before God permitted the next step.

Most Homeschoolers do so to give their children a solid education, foundation, and so they (the parents) are the ones teaching Morality (Good from Bad) and not some ‘friend’ or a Teacher that MAY have their own agenda! Our Public School system is a JOKE! I started Homeschooling for the 1st time this year. Though using a virtual school option, still considered a ‘Public’ School, meaning there is a set curriculum, a teacher if I need help, and all students must take the State Assessments to ensure they are learning what they should. HOWEVER, they do NOT have to use mandated or Specific Govmt Books. My daughter is playing catch up in History (and, if it wasn’t for her ability to understand Math and Reading, as well as myself taking a big role at home, she would have to catch up in those areas as well.). Through the curriculum we are using, she should already be through 1432 AD! She should also know all the states and locations, as well as Continents, etc! She had not learned even a PERCENTAGE OF THIS INFORMATION, and she is now in 3rd grade!

So, maybe you should be a little less quick to judge, and do a bit of research! Though maybe you were never taught how to do honest, centered research?!?

*applause, applause, standing Ovation* This is well written and so very true. I was a school teacher and now home school. Believe me, there are battles of the will going on in the classroom as well. Thank you for sharing because I needed this today. I am most definitely passing this link on.

I struggle daily with the magnification of problems and I feel failure more than success some days. I need this Thanks!

@Mike: Evolution is simply a theory; as is Creationism.

Scientifically, neither one can be proved, since it cannot be repeated. HOWEVER, science is more coherent with Creationism than evolution. In all the time that science has been keeping records of different species of animals, no recorded evolutionary changes have occurred. (Genetic mutation does not equal natural evolution)

Thank you!  Exactly the perspective I needed.

You were able to put into words exactly what has been happening in our home.  It sounded so familiar!  Thank you for the insight and the encouragement.  :)

Great article!!

http://www.answersingenesis.org - check it out!! Here’s a doozy for you, dinosaurs were on the ark! :)

Also, @Mike, I challenge you to read “A Case for Faith” by Lee Strobal…or any of his books for that matter.  It seems you are so bent on defying faith and your Creator..I’m sorry for that and for what in your life has caused you to be this way.  Things don’t just happen by accident - everything that has been created was created by a someone.  I will be praying that God will open the eyes of your heart to Him, His goodness, His Truth, His love, and His mercy available to everyone through His son, Jesus Christ!! Have a great day!

http://www.amazon.com/Case-Faith-Journalist-Investigates-Christianity/dp/0310234697