Von Hildebrand and the Happy Marriage

MAN, WOMAN, AND THE MEANING

OF LOVE: GOD'S PLAN FOR LOVE,

MARRIAGE, INTIMACY, AND THE

FAMILY

b yDietrich von Hildebrand

Sophia Press, 2002

130 pages, $12.95

To order: (800) 888-9344

or www.sophiainstitute.com

Dietrich von Hildebrand (1899-1977) was a philosopher of profound intellectual and spiritual depth. Hitler hated him (and nearly succeeded in killing him), while Pope Pius XII called him a “20th-century doctor of the Church.” A professor for many years at Fordham University, von Hildebrand wrote books on spirituality, liturgy, marriage, the Second Vatican Council and moral philosophy. These works are notable for their crisp writing, penetrating thought and spiritual richness, balancing technical precision with an emphasis on the deeply personal and relational nature of the Catholic faith.

These qualities are evident in Man, Woman, and the Meaning of Love, originally TITLEd Man and Woman when first published in 1966. While many moral theologians of that time were attempting to reshape Catholic doctrine in the image of secular lies about sexuality, von Hildebrand warned of the grave dangers of the sexual revolution. “A sterile approach to sexuality dominates our time,” he writes. “Out of boredom, people have granted to casual, shallow and neutralized sex a distorted role.” Undoubtedly he was mocked by many who thought their “progressive” approach to sex was anything but sterile. Yet time and sad experience has shown that von Hildebrand, Pope Paul VI and like-minded thinkers were absolutely correct in their prophetic warnings against contraception and about sex apart from marriage.

A central premise of this book and of von Hildebrand's thought is that if love is misunderstood, so is man. “To the extent that we fail to grasp what love really is,” he writes, “it is impossible for us to give adequate philosophical consideration to what man is. Love alone brings a human being to full awareness of personal existence. For it is in love alone that man finds room enough to be what he is.” This unifying theme unites the subsequent chapters, in which von Hildebrand discusses the nature and beauty of love, the sublimity of spousal love and the sexual union, the fruit of love and the moral implications of sexuality. He shows that a puritanical view of sex — one that has often afflicted Catholics — is not only unhealthy but also incompatible with the mind and heart of the Church. The sexual union within the marital relationship is holy; it is the revelation and gift of the deepest self to one's spouse. Catholics shouldn't deny or minimize the realm of sex but rather guard and protect it, treating it with the respect and reverence due a precious mystery.

Von Hildebrand's writing is direct and clean, but many passages are filled with philosophical language that may prove daunting to some readers. However, the book is worth the effort, for it beautifully elucidates the logic and wisdom of Catholic teaching about marriage and sexuality. Similar to Pope John Paul II's theology of the body, which often points to natural law and common experience, von Hildebrand seeks to assist those who are serious about understanding the mystery of love. He does so with firmness and passion. This is evident in how he describes artificial contraception as the height of human arrogance and the result of a disastrous attempt at autonomy from God: “It is the same sinfulness which lies in suicide or euthanasia, in both of which we act as if we were masters of life. It is the same irreverence which ignores the indissolubility of marriage and in which marriages are contracted and ended as one would change gloves.”

One flaw of the book, perhaps resulting from a lack of reliable demographic and scientific information in the 1960s, is the acceptance of the supposed “threat of overpopulation.” Von Hildebrand describes this “threat” — now known to be mythical and politically driven — as a “calamity.” No doubt he would quickly revise that assessment if he were still alive. However, there would be no need to revise the remainder of the book. It's just as prophetic, instructive and valuable as the day he finished writing it.

Carl Olson, editor of

Envoy magazine, writes from Heath, Ohio.