Love and Responsibility Explained

Pope John Paul II’s theology of the body has caused a flurry of excitement, and more than one popular book acts as an easy-to-unpack guide to his insights and teachings. But not until Edward Sri wrote Men, Women and the Mystery of Love has anyone come out with the same kind of simple-to-understand summary for John Paul’s Love and Responsibility — the major work which is the foundation for the theology of the body.

In just over 150 pages, Sri unpacks the Pope’s “personalist principle” in contrast to the utilitarian approach, where people are considered objects to be used for one’s goals. The author gives clear insights into how the principles apply to spiritual growth and love for spouse, family and friends — and how we can recognize when we’re being “utilitarian.”

Take the example of answering an invitation with a Maybe instead of a Yes or No. Sri writes, “Why do many of us (not just young people) do that? ... As many college students and young people have admitted to me, often the main reason we don’t commit to our friends in a situation like that is because we want to keep our options open in case someone else plans an even more exciting special event for Friday night, or in case some guy or gal we’re interested in wants to do something with us that evening. … John Paul II says that once these utilitarian attitudes are adopted, we begin to reduce the people in our lives to objects to use for our enjoyment.”

One of the book’s strong points lies in the way Sri, an associate professor of Scripture and theology at the Augustine Institute in Denver, repeats some of the main principles two and three times, in different contexts, to help us grasp their significance.

Sri sprinkles quotes from Love and Responsibility throughout. Where necessary, he takes a concept difficult to understand — “acceptance must also be giving, and giving receiving” — and turns the light bulb on in Technicolor, showing how giving and receiving worked in both directions with Adam and Eve before the fall, and how we need to restore that.

Or take the familiar way Sri explains a John Paul II insight: “Did you catch that?” the author writes. “He doesn’t say that in the beginning stages of sentimental love we might sometimes exaggerate the value of the person. He says it happens as a rule — we do it all the time! And he didn’t say we tend to exaggerate the person’s value only slightly. We tend to idealize the value of the person ‘out of all proportion’ to whom he or she is in reality.”

There are sections elucidating John Paul’s teaching on how sin grows, why we must be very careful in giving or receiving acts of tenderness outside of marriage, and why tenderness is absolutely essential within marriage.

If this book has any shortcoming, it’s a minor one of not adding more quotes from Love and Responsibility. That seems more attributable to length than to style; the ample examples from life more than compensate.

For anyone familiar with, or wanting to learn more about the theology of the body, this simple illumination of its foundational work is a must-read.

Joseph Pronechen is the Register’s staff writer.

Palestinian Christians celebrate Easter Sunday Mass at Holy Family Church in Gaza City on March 31, amid the ongoing battles Israel and the Hamas militant group.

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