Well, I’ll join the club. I live, eat, sleep in tired mode.  I don’t think I can shut it off anymore. And I never get that. Motherhood is a serious business. It’s one of the most important jobs on earth but due to baby wakings, baby cryings, baby illness, moms get the LEAST amount of sleep.  We need the most, but we get the least.  Why is that??!

I’m right behind you with a 4week old son, my first :).  Definitely tired!  Also, saw pictures of your new baby over on your blog; she’s a beauty!

Haha!  It isn’t often that a blog post has a little bit of my native toungue in it.  How funny.  My dad actually did switch my google account to Polish and so now whenever I am in my reader I have to try to translate as best as a child of a native speaker can without being fluent in any capacity.

As for the tired.  I hear you.  Thankfully not now, but I think the first 4 months after each of my children I was in roughly the same haze.  Hearing you describe it brings me right back to the trenches.  But I can grab my coffee now.  Good luck and God bless!

I was giggling at the Blucher. Ask me how much sleep I got this week.

I’m in.  Everyone else has given up trying to figure out what I mean when I speak, but at least my long-suffering husband has an uncanny ability to wade through the mire and knows just what I mean.  Maybe.

Zoe is 7.5 weeks old right now, and just starting to stretch her sleep out. At night, we’re getting six hours, then a feeding, then three hours till the next feeding, which is when the day starts in earnest and we’re nursing every 2.5-3 hours. The first few weeks were rougher than I remembered, probably because I had to get up with my preschooler and couldn’t sleep when I wanted to during the day. A few times I called my dad at 8 AM to see how he felt about taking Wolfie for a few hours so I could sleep. Next time I’m sure will be harder still, since I’ll be less likely to pawn off two kids at a time.

I totally experience the odd clairvoyance too. It’s not doing good things for my relationships, since it makes me that much less patient for all of the slow-talkers in my family. My family always talks the way you talk right now, “Hi, Mighty, Um, I was going to ask you…..do….you…wait, what was I saying? Oh right, do you….um…” And I’m all, “I know, you want to know if I’m okay with the restaurant choice because of that snide comment I made 17 months ago. Yes, it’s fine.” “How did you know I was going to ask that?” “I have no idea. I think your eyebrow twitched in a meaningful way.”

http://lettersto.us

I’m laughing and crying and I can’t even tell whether your post was that funny (though they usually are).  I’ll have to ask my husband.  I sleeps sometimes.

I meant “HE sleeps sometimes”.  Case in point.

After our last baby, my husband learned to translate what I was trying to say while I was yawning. At first he would say “Speak after you’re finished yawning” but realized that I was in a constant state of yawn. So he adapted and learned to translate.

Oh man that is hysterical. Well the whole post but the young Frankenstein thing! I also am funny while no one gets it—we have to unite and stand firm together.

Woo! I’m in. Also nursing a 6-week old, also living in light-day and dark-day, but haven’t got to the clairvoyant stage yet. Unless my husband quits his job to become a panda rescuer in the next couple of days. But I have a feeling those dreams are actually the result of my mid-morning nap “solution” - sticking the other kids in front of Diego for a while.

Amen! And I say this after being up all night with a feverish baby and then having to get up at 6:30am to take the other one to school. To paraphrase Lily Von Shtup, everything above the neck is kaput!

As a mom who keeps having a baby every 18 or so months…i think i have 4 now…no wait!  Yes, four i hope, and hasn’t had even CLOSE to a full night’s sleep EVER - in, like…how many years would that be…lots of years…six or so… I’M IN!!!  Can we just all rest during the support group time..?  -.-

People say you have a twin somewhere in the world…well, we were separated at birth and I’m glad I found you. By the way, we must be identical because no two people could have so much in common! hahahaha

At 6 weeks all of my babies pull a really cruel trick on me…they start to SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT.  Six to eight full hours!  Hooray-I pat myself on the back and say I’m not like those OTHER moms who can’t get their babies to sleep…

Then at about 8 weeks baby inexplicably switches back to up-every-three-hours-and-awake-for-an-hour-at-a-time mode.

Baby number 3 is currently following the same pattern, but I’m too tired to tell myself to catch up on my sleep right now while she is “sleeping through the night.”

I salute you all. Being single and childless, I naturally have a hard time functioning on less than 8 hours of sleep and cannot imagine it being possible for any extended period of time. YOU ARE MY HEROES!

@Monica, interesting that you should say that—ALL of mine but one did that too.  Six straight hours at around 5 to six weeks, then back to two times a night.  Then I would go to bed at ten because I dreaded the night, but “sleep-nurse” in the middle morning, while my toddler watched “toonies”. I think that little “reprieve” is built-in so we won’t hallucinate about giant vegetables!  Unfortunately, then evening colic sets in too.  For that I would drink a glass of wine at dusk.  I wish the dumb “how to” books out there just wouldn’t have said things like: “Their night feedings are a greedy little habit”. It just makes you feel like you are doing something wrong and adds to the torture. Trying to move a baby back into a bassinet past 2am almost killed me with my first—He would end up bright-eyed for 2 hours. That was a tough learning curve of what NOT to do! The first two months are the toughest. Sweet purgatory.

I love this!  I still have trouble finding words to complete sentences and will say things to my husband like, “I need you to put the thing in the thing for the thing tomorrow.”  Oh so very clear.  And we wonder why our son currently says no real words at 18 months and just babbles nonsense all day.  It’s all he hears, LOL!  ;)

May I also add that I love that your previous post has gotten so many hits the comments had to be shut down.  Not bad for a tired momma like you!  Bravo.

@Anna: Where did you see “their night feedings are a greedy little habit”? I feel like a lot of what’s been thrown at me has been “meet your baby’s ‘needs’, even if it means you don’t eat, sleep, drink, or shower again.” I get the babies on a nursing schedule, full feedings only, asap, and the sleep seems to follow suit. But I haven’t had a colicky baby, so I know I don’t know what I’m talking about. ;)

Hahahahahahahaha!  Yes, I want to join!  Actually, I think I already did 11 months ago.  Currently, our sweet baby is teething something awful and has had two nights of wakeful sleep…his mama hasn’t slept much either, being as I have him sleep next to me in bed.  That’s the only way we’ve made it this far all these months….love it!  Actually, I do.  Please, Simcha, keep on making me laugh ;-). The endorphins are so soooooo good!  BTW, how are us Tired supposed to get the spam word below typed correctly?  Near impossible…..................

I used to work with a guy who was always so tired, he could only say, “Tired…”

I too was wondering what horrible book called babies’ night feeds a “greedy little habit.”

OMG not even kidding, my anti-spam test word is “rest68.”  Bwa ha ha ha haaaaaa…...

P.S.  Now that mine are 13, 11, 8, 7, and 4, they don’t wake me up at night much anymore.  But when deciding how best to help my husband support the family, I decided that keeping my at-home-momness as intact as possible was the most important thing.  So of course I got certified as a nursing assistant and now work three 12-hour overnights a week.  I don’t think we moms ever get to leave behind The Tired, until the kids are out on their own.  Just a little solidarity from a mom of older ones.  ;-)

Somewhere, some time I read about a book called, “Sleep is for the Weak” about having kids. Now that’s Tired Pride. I’m currently 3rd trimester, so sleep is a joke, only caught at red lights and when the T.V. is on. Lying in bed is baby’s opportunity to tap dance on my bladder.

@Mighty @Jennifer—It was a book that I still see out there on book store shelves: “What to expect the First Year”—A gift from my dear O.B. (who I LOVED, and delivered all 8 of my kids)  Also “Dr. Spock” was a gift from an aunt with my first (who is 24) The info. on feeding and sleeping was terrible!  I hope reprints of “What to Expect” deleted that awful statement.@Simcha-Yes.  We are definitely mind-readers.  It scares my husband no end.  Toddlers are too.  Mine read my mind frightfully, and at very inopportune times!;)

Oh why oh why couldn’t I have had a blog postpartum.  No of course not.  Instead I friended my 8th grade crush and then blathered to him about how he still looked like he was 13.  He never responded.  Tired is entirely to blame.  Yes sign me up for Tried Pride—I mean Tired Pired or whatever it is.

Oh, dear, may I join with you sleepies? This whole concept of the return of energy in the 2nd trimester is a lie. A LIE.

Hmmm…I was pining for a new baby, but maybe I should just be glad those days are apparently behind me.  I think that, at this point in my life, that level of exhaustion could kill me.

I am not looking forward to this- I’m 33 weeks pregnant with twins, and we have a two and a four-year old, both of whom wake at nights. The younger one has started merrily getting up at five.

I’ve been re-reading your Five Stages of Tiredness and waiting for it to begin all over again, except with extra manic little people. I’m trying to do as much recreational sleeping as possible before the next arrivals.

Re your Ney - Blucher quip: you know your Napoleonic Wars well, congratulations!

My baby jut started sleeping through the night, but I can’t now~  All the months of poor pregnancy sleep and then so many nights of night feedings.  My body is unable to sleep through the night!  Incredible.  Some how I think I’v adjusted or maybe just lowered my standards….I think I told my kids to go to the bathroom in the car today!!

After having kids, I finally understood why my mom used to say, “Listen to what I mean, NOT what I say”

I suspected a What to Expect book.  Those were seriously the only books I ever wanted to burn.  Well, that and Babywise.  Horrible attitude to breastfeeding in all of them.  Do you know that What to Expect the Toddler Years actually told mothers that nursing their child beyond one year of age was both nutritionally and emotionally harmful?  I steer people away from those.  Blech.

A friend of mine who is the mother of 8 said she finally had to decide that, if she was going to wait until she’d had enough sleep to be holy, her life would be over. She’ll never know how much she inspired me with that remark!

Before I knew I was pregnant with my third (I am 10 weeks now, Baby #2 is 9 months old and perpetually teething/not sleeping) I was getting depressed because I felt so tired all the time.  “What’s wrong with me?  Why can’t I take up my cross at 5am very morning and just offer it up and keep going?  Monks and nuns do it all the time!”  But then, of course, it occurred to me, “monks and nuns do not bear children.” 

St. Ambrose, writing of the Virgin martyr St. Agnes, said “It is the Feast of St. Agnes; let men admire, and children not despair; let the married wonder, and the unmarried imitate.”

And indeed, I wonder.

I just had my fifth baby three weeks ago. I can so relate to this! Thank you so much for the laugh. I really needed it today.

All I can think when I read your blog is that if you lived nearby, we would be good, good friends.
I am currently expecting my 5th and keeping my tired head above water.
Your honesty is refreshing.  Thank you for sharing.

A long time ago, on the recommendation of a friend, I went to “nocturnal adoration”, at the Poor Clare’s monastery.  It was very late.  They have a double sided chapel.  It was just me on my side, and on the other, the nuns were singing the liturgy of the hours.  What an ethereal experience.  Many years later, as my body was protesting to wake and feed my baby, I realized that what I was doing was a kind of liturgy of the hours, with my body.

1. Don’t read the books.  They usually won’t apply to you or your baby! Most books are generalizations based on the experience (or ignorance) of the author. When pregnant with my first, my wonderful doctor told me to call anytime with questions, and not to read books which likely would have nothing of value for me personally, since every woman and each pregnancy is different.
2. My oldest is 16, my youngest nearly 10 (I have four) and I was about to say I remember being tired, but then I realized that I’m still tired and relish those afternoon naps when I get a chance to sneak one in. Those 3 PM sleepies make me realize why the British had tea - to survive without a nap!
3. Enjoy those babies as much as possible, tired or not. Next year #1 son will graduate high school and move on to college and I’m in total denial.  Not quite ready for that stage of life yet!

Anna Lisa-that’s so cool, about the Liturgy of the Hours!  I will try to think of that next time I am nursing! 
Kyra—praying for you!  I have my ultrasound in a couple of weeks and suddenly hit my usual (unfounded) suspicion that I’m having twins, oh no, what am I going to do??

Hmm, I have 6 week old baby too, but I’m not particularly tired.  She wakes up every 3-4 hours, but then she eats and goes back to sleep and so do I.

I would really like to go to bed right now.  My 6 week old is sleeping soundly but my toddler had a bad dream and got out of bed and now she’s wide awake watching Veggie Tales.  And it’s almost midnight.  Boo :(

In our house, the mantra is, “Listen to what I mean and not what I say.” My teens think there is something seriously wrong with me.

@ Jennifer…  I also decided to have the best of both worlds and be home by way of working at night…for 16 years. I mastered the “collapse just inside the door” method of sleep (still wearing coat and mittens). I could do homecare dressing change, be off to the hospital nursery for 12 hours, go BACK and do another dressing change all while my toddlers slept. Studies show that doing this long enough will actually decrease ones life expectancy, I figured I was just simplifying my retirement planning.

The older of these kids are now young-adults and are certain (absolutely certain) that I am a dolt who doesn’t understand the complexity of society and that I have never done anything for them. Words fail me.

OMGosh, that was beautiful.  Unfortunately for me, my youngest is 2.5 and I still can’t finish my sentences.  The words just never came back.  But I solve it $25,000 pyramid style.  “Hey, guys, grab the… the… the thing that you hold over your head when it’s raining…”  “UMBRELLA!”  “That’s right!  You win a dry walk to the car!”  Thanks for making us all feel um…  um… “FUNNY?!”  “DIRTY?!”  “NORMAL!”  “Yes, normal.”  =)

Thanks, lilacs. When I had a nine-week ultrasound, the tech said those terrifying words, “I have a surprise for you.” It’s been an interesting twentyish weeks since then. We’re very happy, but also really terrified. One baby I can kind of handle. Two?

Thanks, Tammy. I’m going to start thinking of sleep loss as ‘simplifying my retirement planning.” from now on.

If i lived closer, i would offer to babysit.

I very rarely laugh out loud to movies let alone when I read a book/article or in this case a blog. But your “You can eat each other in the car” struck such a cord that my laughter roared and lingered for quite a while. I can actually remember my mother being that tired and saying silly things similar. My brother and I were relentless in our taunting of her delirium. And now as a mother myself (of a blessing of one) I share the feeling of my mother’s and every mother’s fatigue. And to keep with tradition my son with his quick wit will not let one of my complete nonsense rants slip by without the loving but yet still relentless taunting that my wonderful mother received from us. Somehow I can only think that she looks down with a slight chuckle in delight.