God has been speaking to me on the same subject. The right to test belongs to God - we do not put God to the test. “Do not impose conditions on the plans of the Lord our God. God is not like a human being to be moved by threat, nor like a mortal to be cajoled.” - Judith 8:16

What happens, I believe, is that when we’re praying to overcome a particular vice - like impatience - God typically answers by giving us opportunities to exercise the opposite virtue (by allowing our patience to be tried).  We’re aided by grace, but we still have to respond to it freely, and in such situations we’re probably not going to ‘feel it’, because if we did, would it still be our free choice?  That at least has been my experience.

This might explain why when I keep asking God for patience my kids start acting up even worse. Or when I ask for sleep I get more sleepless nights?  Thanks for (again) saying what I’ve been needing to hear.

Oh, I can relate to this very well! All always have plans for Lent: Eliminate this food, say these chaplets. Then God gives me a raging illness or annoying people or something completely different. Something that will force me to be dependent on God in a way I didn’t plan, and therefore am not controlling. Like THAT is the point. And it always annoys the tar out of me. Thanks for expressing this so well.

*I* always have plans… sigh.

God continually upholds us with grace while at the same time respecting our free will.

I have a little page of the Magnificat rippied out that includes this observation from Dom Augustin Guillerand. “Where God is at work, the devil is not idle.  When you try over a period to correct yourself on a particular point, do not be surprised if you have to submit to violent temptations on that very point, even to repeated falls.  The important thing is never to admit that you are beaten.  Fight and never give in, like a good general.  The effort, which is part of the battle, even when there is nothing to show for it, plays an enormous part in the formation of the will.  We always emerge from the battle stronger.”  Probably even when we don’t feel like we are stronger…

This is insightful (and 3 year olds at mass- blech, I hear ya!). I really like Steve’s explanation above. At least at this point in my walk with God, this makes some sense.

@Steve and @Natalie - Kind of a cruel picture of God, don’t you think? 
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I pray for patience with my children, but what I find I get is coping mechanisms first, increased patience second.    I also am alone with my children as often (or more than) most single mothers.    My husband is a good father, but he works.  A lot.  Enough to pay for all our kids and their tuitions and braces and broken arms, etc. 
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My coping mechanisms tie in with what Simcha wrote yesterday.  I had to make adjustments.  Like if that meant not all of us attending the same Mass together, that’s what we did.    I might have left my two oldest kids home with the two youngest while I took the other kids to Mass.  If I’m lucky the little ones might still be asleep.  Then I’d drop the big kids off at a later Mass.  Since our youngest is now 5 and his behavior reliably good, we no longer have to do this and we probably attend Mass together as a family 85% of the time these days.
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I do find if I can pinpoint a difficult situation or behavior that triggers impatience or resentment in me, I can come up with a response that helps me be more patient.  It’s when I’m trying these new techniques that I can feel God’s Grace giving me further peace.  I have a child with adoption related attachment issues, so believe me when I say I have a long way to go in my walk with my children, but avoiding stressful situations goes a long way toward increasing my patience.

This ties in very well with a reflection that my pastor offered last night.  I guess God must be trying to tell me something…

This Lent has been going horribly for me (at least it seems that way). I have failed over and over again at the sacrifices I purposed to make and have been kicking myself for it every day. Yesterday, I was in a bad, abusive situation and having horrible, dark thoughts. Then I remembered a thought that entered my mind the day before as I walked home (maybe it was Jesus): If you’re serious about wanting to be a saint, prepare to go through trials… MANY trials… no, really, an insane number of trials. You need the purification and to learn to rely on God alone.

It’s comforting to hear that I’m not alone in feeling like a complete failure. I was tempted to pray like satan yesterday as I wept. I am going to pray that all of us here may be part of the “remnant” that is to help the light of Christ truly shine in the world. One step at a time, I guess. Jesus, help us!

It is possible, if I choose, to offer up every trial of a fault in reparation for my sins related to that fault.  And to offer not only the trial itself, but my impatience with the trial (and with the repetitions of the trial for the 10th time, 100th time, 1000th time, etc….).

I have to trust, without seeing His schedule, that God’s healing grace doesn’t take holidays.  The Devil’s work sure doesn’t seem to!

Profoundly simple…simply profound!  Thank you for providing my Lenten devotion for today.  Blessings.

This is hitting way too close to home.  So you know what that means:  God is speaking.  I have been praying and struggling with mental illness for 46 years, 20 of tem walking with The Lord and begging daily and actively working on healing.  Despite feeling many, many graces and making progress over the last 20 years, the last year and a half has been the worst of all, leaving me feeling trapped in a cage begging for help and deliverance, which doesn’t seem to come.  I am left with plaguing thoughts that 1) either God doesn’t exist and that’s why my prayers seem to be in vain or 2) God does exist, but He won’t help me.  Now, like you, I’m a fool, but not a damn fool.  I know this idea of God does not fit with the Jesus i have encountered many, many times.  So, here I am, holding onto my faith by a thread, praying, ” where shall I go, Lord, for I have come to know that you are God and have the words of eternal life?” 

He must be strengthening us for something.  Prayers are appreciated, please.

for about 2 months I’ve been jolted out of my comfort zone and suddenly, I do not get enough sleep due to a teething 7 month old baby. every moment, day or night, I have to rest my head there is some foreign object that calls for my attention=kids, cat meowing or knocking over a baby gate, husband snoring, baby, baby, and the baby. I started feeling exasperated toward Jesus saying in my head, “are you kidding me? I’ve been asking you for help!” sometimes I’m afraid I talk to God like he’s santa claus there to bring me my heart’s desire so long as I’m well-behaved. thanks for helping me realize I’ve been praying like the devil!

I forgot to add that today, at the beginning of a Spirit Daily article I was reading, there was an excerpt from Psalm 143. I looked up the rest of the psalm and I really think it would be good for us to pray it daily, especially those of us who are steeped in pain and sorrow.

As I’ve been sick & snowbound with my kiddos for three days, and my DH has been stranded away from home by the weather, I can completely relate.  Thanks!

I don’t know about all this. I kinda think God loves us and as Jesus said wants to aid us.  Maybe we should try thanking Him for the tremendous love He has enveloped us in at our Baptism. Discipline is important and I do know that trials are for purification. The main thing is to get to complete dependence on Him alone, but maybe to realize that we, as St. Paul said “move and breathe and have our being in Him”. And God is Love. Present now.

Simcha, It’s strange, but if you look at it in the right light, Jesus does actually satisfy every one of Satan’s conditions.  He doesn’t just meet the tempter’s challenge, he obliterates it.  He approaches these requirements not with the ardor of a conquering hero – that would be merely Byronic; but with the passionate zeal of a lover.  I guess, even though he is God, he thinks he had something to prove to us.

I’m sorry you’re not able to enjoy Sunday Mass.  But don’t blame your kids.  They’re the reason you’ll some day be celebrated there.

Brilliant!  It took me many more years than it has apparently taken you to realize that the problem I was having with prayer just may lie with me, and not with God.

There’s a reason I don’t ask God for patience or humility. :)

I often have to ask God to help me to WANT the things I’m praying for (lpatience, forbearance, kindness) because God help me, I’m pretty sure that most days, I don’t even WANT to be kinder.  I’ll pray for you; I hope you’ll do the same for me.

It seems to me that the greatest blessing God has given you is the grace of fortitude. Many of us have done far worse with far fewer children. And many of us have been far less charitable to the childless ones around us who seem to have it so easy. Somewhere in the pews around you is someone God is inspiring by your example. How’s that for answering your prayers?

“Put me in control!  Make me be good!”—feel like I have prayed the second one a billion times—maybe I have prayed the first one more times without knowing it.  “What does He do?  With God as my witness, I do not know.”—me neither.  And I am going to keep praying too.  For me, the number one thing I need to do, as best I understand, is at certain times consent to miss out.  Incidentally, I can still remember, when I was a little boy, my dad washing my hair in a way that hurt.

Eileen, that was really good advice.  I too learned the hard way not to put myself in a position that might try me beyond my ability to cope.  Another seasoned Mom called this “two pronged” approach to mass as “divide and conquer!”  Also, I don’t know what kind of attachment issues your adopted child has, but one of my eight has what might be interpreted as attachment issues also.  He doesn’t wear his heart on his sleeve like the rest.  I find that I need to seek him out to address his issues.  He acts like he doesn’t want a hug, but is always so much better when I talk to him and hug him afterwards, than yelling at him as a hair trigger response to his rude or aloof behavior.
@Simcha, holy cards up the nose are preferable to ABC gum, harvested from below the pew!(just reminiscing triggers my gag reflex):/)
I guess, up until today!  I thought that I grew up the day I finally stopped believing in the God of fairy dust.  You are absolutely right though; what I was doing was never about fairy dust at all!
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What has given me an immeasurable amount of peace is *submitting* my self to God, and trusting in the yoke he fits for me.
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It is so difficult to truly know one’s self.  The best advice I’ve gotten was advice I was incapable of discerning for myself.  Sometimes it was advice that allowed me to be more *merciful* to myself, in order that I might have more mercy toward others.  (“What I desire is mercy, not sacrifice”)
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The most freeing prayer I can think of is: “Here I am Lord, do with me as you please…I would rather suffer here, than suffer by looking at what is unresolved in my soul…when I die…operate on me God!”

I had to laugh at some of your thoughts (kind of like mine sometimes).  I have stopped looking at the crying kids after reading comments on blogs and sympathize with the parents. I think of how I should have took my kids to Mass when they were little and maybe now they would go to Mass. But no I didn’t want the hassle.  However, now I take my grandson when I can.  I might recommend concecration to our Lady (used the shorter version from “33 days to Morning Glory”).  I did this and it has helped me a lot in dealing with my faults and weaknesses. Good article.

Dear Mrs. Fisher,
On showing the face of Christ to the world: I have a couple of very dear friends, with 3 children +1 on the way, oldest age 5 1/2, at whose home I’m sometimes privileged to stay.  I always sense the presense of the Holy Spirit on them and in their home.  They have asked me how this can be, when they’re frazzled with the kids and sometimes each other, and everything is in chaos.  I don’t know—but it’s there. God put it there, and it’s as plain as the banana on the 14-month-old’s face. 

Please be encouraged.  His Grace is still upon you, otherwise you would not have the courage, fortitude and determination to write that last paragraph.  Even Jesus didn’t show a smiling, everything’s-under-control face to the world all the time: we know He wept, and that (at least once) He was so dog-tired He slept right through a storm in a rowboat on Lake Galilee. 

God bless you, with every provision for Life and Godliness through Jesus Christ.  Thank you for writing.
-whw.

Author David Warren says it well—and so succinctly:

“I know God won’t give me anything I can’t handle. I just wish he didn’t trust me so much.”

I love this, and not just because you made a reference to using the Death Claw. I’m beyond the mom stage, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have Masses were I myself wouldn’t prefer to be on the floor, scrabbling for holy cards (though not to put them up my nose).

I think the fact that you didn’t give in to any of the things you were tempted to do (because they were, in fact, actual temptations) is one sign that God is giving you more grace that you realize.

http://aftertheecstasythelaundry.wordpress.com

“Because of his fatal, eternally-sealed choice against God, the devil is perhaps not only unwilling but unable to see God for what He is.”

How about this: a doctor arrives at the hospital at 6am to perform his rounds.  He is met by the nurse at his station.  The nurse tells the doctor: Mrs. Bread has not been able to hold down any food, and it looks like she might die.  Mr. Hypocrite has been refusing care all night long, and demands to see the doctor before he takes any medication.  Mr. King has a high fever and is so delerious he thinks he’s in charge of the entire hospital.

The doctor asks the nurse: and what did you do about it?  He replies: what do I know, I played cards with the janitor all night.  Truly the father of lies.

This is interesting to couple with what you wrote yesterday. I look at the things that seemed SOOOO hard at other points in my life, and then look at what I’m handling right now, and am amazed by how much our ability to cope expands. When one has that first baby, even an easy-tempered one, it’s a huge learning curve (which you covered so well in your article “To The Woman With Just One Child”), and it’s made harder by all the various judgey people around. I look at where we are now (which is far from perfect, but so much more competent) with two children and one coming in the next month, and I see a lot of growth. And I still am surrounded by judgey people who always have one more thing I ought to be doing differently, one more way that I could prove myself as a parent/person. I’m learning that a spiritual pitfall for me is paying too much attention to other people’s approval of the job I’m doing, and too little time reflecting on God’s will for my life. In my case, I realize that God is not sending me temptations, but that I keep signing up for them by keeping all that deadweight around me.

Great post as usual. :)

This is a no-brainer. If God had helped you right when you asked - you just would not have been able to ponder how you were praying and write such a beautiful article! Instead, He wanted you to be able to help others—and so you have :-) (And I venture to guess you’ve also prayed that you would be able to inspire and help souls through your articles—so - really one prayer just trumped another!)

Absolutely great line:  “What God actually is doesn’t mean anything to him”

This is very good, Simcha.

Simcha,
Thank you again!
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I’ve been up since 3 this morning, not able to sleep after coming off the nightshift, worrying about the confession I have to make today, lonely because my wife is still asleep (and probably still annoyed by an argument we had yesterday), angry because my life is not going the way I envisioned, and trying not to blame it all on God (who I’m desperately trying to draw closer to through a probably overly-strict regimen of prayer and fasting).
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I feel like an idiot, groping in the dark.  I’ve rarely felt further from God and yet never been more devoted to my spiritual practice.
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“And so I’m going to keep praying for help.  God help me not to pray like the devil.”
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Thank you.

I feel you, lady. Totally feel you.

Great subject and thank you.  I stuggle with the same thing in my life and was glad you shared this.  I’ll pass this one on to my children.

Dan -

When it seems like nothing is going on ... a seed is being germinated and begins to grow - invisible…and then life bursts forth.

Hang in there. Sometimes God is doing the most amazing things in our spiritual lives when we are in the midst of suffering - whether physical, emotional, or spiritual.
And that dryness in prayer is definitely a form of spiritual suffering.

I don’t know if you and your wife are in the same point in your prayer life—but we’ve been in and out of synch and that causes its own form of suffering. It feels awful—like winter—but then spring comes again…

I think of life like seasons it is somewhat easier to trust that all will be better…what seems like death is a quiet season of growth before all plant-life springs forth and we move into spring and summer.

Prayers that God richly bless your desire and efforts to follow Him and to find Him—prayers that He makes Himself powerfully known to you and to those around you for whom you may be praying.

Simcha,
  Wonderful post…complex not cliche…outside the box.  You dispelled gloom I got from Vatican investigations of itself which were wonderful as a project but revealed rot spots in that apple.

I don’t have any kids at home, but I do have an ill husband to take care of at times,  and I’m always praying for patience.  Then sure enough, an incident will come up that will test me and sometimes I fail.  A priest once told me to “hold back” and count to ten, and this works if I remember it.

St. Paul and St. Jerome are great intercessors for anger and I think patience too.  St. Jerome got so upset while translating the Vulgate he slammed the tablets to the ground, so it just shows we all have these episodes.

Simcha, just try and remember that times goes fast, and one of these days you’re going to look back when they were babies and wish that they still were.  I know its hard though when they’re little and trying to keep control of them, but nice that you take them to Church.  Your prayers will be answered but at God’s time.  Sr. Angelica has had the same problems as you and I so that should give you comfort.

This week, I felt like I was on a roller coaster and all I could do was hold on and brace myself and try to enjoy the ride.  I’m 41 now so I recognize that this happens in life and in particular, the spiritual life.  It just does.  The trick to to hang on and trust.  You certainly do that Simcha.  It isn’t pretty nor is it easy.  But, sunny days and peace are around the corner.  Praying for you today.

bill bannon,

Don’t worry about the news from the Vatican.  This sort of corruption has been going on in the Church for many decades and has, by its secret machinations, done much damage both to its theology and to the Mass.  It is a great thing that, at least to some degree, it is finally being discussed openly.

I remember rushing around getting ready for a retreat and I had to pick up the nun who was facilitating. I was stressed and I glanced over at my little one in the highchair and he had filled up his cup holder and tray with orange juice and was splashing his fingers around in it. When he saw the look on my face, he dipped his hand into the orange juice and blessed himself!! Who knows he may have saved his life that day—praise be to God we had been taking him to Mass where he learned to dip his hand into the Holy Water and bless himself!

I remember trying to learn the rosary and taking my little ones to church to pray along with the older holy rollers…my three year old boy (at the time) had his rosary out and was laying on the kneeler smacking his foot against the floor in a big, old, echoey church!! I thought I was going to lose my mind trying to get him to stop and I certainly wasn’t feeling the peace and holiness that I thought would come with praying the rosary…
Finally, when he was back on the seat looking all around at everything, he fixated on the station of the cross with Jesus and the crown. He wanted to know if the crown hurt his head? Yes very much, I said…

The next time we were in the church for that rosary…it was just as trying but we were sitting near station 13 - the pieta… again, my 3 year old fixated on the picture of Jesus. He noticed Mary was holding Jesus and the crown of thorns was by Jesus’ feet. He asked me. “Did Jesus’ Mommy take those thorns of Jesus’ head?” Somewhere - by some miracle - he was getting it…

Who would have known? I may be a raving maniac in a home someday but at least 2 of them are picking up something from Mass ;-)

Decades?
Don’t forget the de Medicis and the Borgias—or that wise old cardinal who laughed in Napoleon’s face.
Napoleon: “I will destroy your church.”
Cardinal: “Nonsense,we’ve been trying to do this for centuries.”

Yeah, I keep saying, “Lord, help me!” and it’s really not that reverent, it just means I’m not getting my way and I’m mad again. Isn’t that what February is for, is for believing anyway and hanging on.
Thanks for your honesty, this is a great post.

This reminds me of a prayer I used to say when I was 6.  I would read in bed at night and then be so tired, I would pray, “God, if you really love me, turn off the light right now so I don’t have to get out of bed!”.  I thought   I was so clever, because I knew God loved me, and I knew He wanted me to know that He loved me.  Then, when I was about 9, I heard in church that you should never “test” God with your prayers.  It was one of my very first aha! moments of my spiritual life.  I thought “Oh!  That’s why He never turns off my light!”.  It has stayed with me my entire life.  I’m now in my 30s with 2 small children and I am given the chance to remember that lesson often. :)

Great post.  I am so glad the devil’s got nothing on our God.

Why can’t we demand of god. He is “all knowing, all loving and all giving”,  yet, where was he when million Jews were killed in concentration camps during the Holocaust?  Where was he during Sandy& all the crazy wars and injustices of this world.  So easy to blame it on free will and of course Satan.  He is used as copout.

At least Lucifer is honest. He gives all the pleasures that God detest. 

Enough is enough, religions are always judging others but fail to act on those criminals within their organizations.

Instead they are concern in judging the gay, people who decide that life doesn’t begin at conception, the open minded, etc.

God created us in his image, so he created Lucifer a perfect angel of light but the moment Lucifer questioned Him, he tossed him out.

God is a hypocrite and the bible is no different than the Greeks and Roman myths we learned in school.

I rather be happy in this life and enjoy myself. And if I end-up in Hell, so be it.  I will workship an Angel of light who at least will give me some happiness in this world.

Uh-oh, Simcha, your title brought the satanists.
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I guess my answer is simple.  God loves you.  The devil never will.  He might offer you treats, like a pedophile offers treats to a victim he’s grooming, but when you cease to be useful, he’ll move onto the next victim and you’ll be left alone.  God is the loving father who loves us enough to tell us he knows we can do better.  I choose him 100%.