Whwn I went to confession the night before my wedding, the priest told me to say three hail mary’s every morning and night.  We have done this consistently since we were married.  I’m sure it has b
rought many blessings.

You may be interested in this book ‘Prayer Book for Spouses’ as a starting point. I’m single but know from others that this book is good!
http://www.cts-online.org.uk/acatalog/info_D714.html

My husband isn’t much of a “prayer” - at least out loud or with others, so we don’t pray together except at meals and mass.  So, when I wake up early every morning for my quiet prayer time, I lay my hand on him even though he’s sleeping as I pray for him.

We bless each other each night (which we actually have been doing since our dating days when the blessing signaled the end of our date). We don’t use anything set - we just say, “God bless (spouse’s name)” and then pray for a few specific intentions for that person and thank God for him/her. We use the same blessing for our children. I can always gauge how well we’ve been communicating by how easy or hard it is to come up with intentions for each other.

Thank you for the suggestion of praying to each other’s guardian angels. One thing that I’ve found comforting is to ask my guardian angel to pray to his guardian angel. Yes, it may sound like I’m, “passing the buck”, but it has helped.

I love your image of the sheet music being played by two people!  You have inspired me.  I recently left work which has allowed us to put many areas of our life in order…with more to do.  I am working to improve my personal prayer time, but you make me see that we must do the same with our shared prayers. Your words and the ideas of your readers will be just what we need to get going!

When my husband and I were dating we used to trace the sign of the cross on one another’s foreheads when we said good night.  No words—it can be easier without words.  I wish we still did this.  Perhaps I should bring it up ... or heck, just start doing it again.

We are blessed in our retirement to have TIME. Each morning we silently read and reflect on the daily mass reading and then say a rosary silently. I find oral prayer distracting. Sometimes we question each other or share an insight. It’s like having your morning coffee with Jesus and we miss it when we can’t do it.

My husband and I say the Divine Office (morning and evening prayer) out loud together every day, after our personal prayer time. We even include a hymn.  We ask God to protect us and everyone else when we get in the car.  We have a prayer list of people we meet throughout the day and include prayers for them in our intentions.  We have found that it is impossible for us to become distant from each other when daily prayer keeps us so in tune with each other’s spiritual life.

Amen!  Beautiful.
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Since we began praying together in earnest, our married life was revolutionized.  Saint Joseph was my secret weapon for the period of our lives when we became too sophisticated to get on our knees together.  He never fails.  Words simply don’t suffice.  Asking for grace and renewal, we cleared the weeds and the brambles in the garden of our marriage.  We dug around choked plants.  We carefully planted new seeds.  Our hopes for new life were rewarded richly.  Our garden became lush, like never before.  The work that we did was an offering of good will, but it was grace that transformed it.  Our tears were salty.  God’s dew and rain is sweet.
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He took us by the hand, so we could start again.  He unlocked for us the secret, that the most most profound Truths are wrapped in the most simple realities.  Heaven and what is sublime can be found in the mundane. 
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We start our day, with an alarm at six.  We afford ourselves fifteen minutes to wake each other up.  It reminds me of when a baby is born and the doctor coaxes him to take his first breath.  The human touch is like balm for the soul. We bring each other back to life with the welcome of love. After this, there is prayer on our knees, a brief oblation,  arms bent but cruciform, with a, “serviam” and an intense “all for you Lord”.
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We wake the elementary, middle school and high school kids, who know to get up, get dressed, and eat because Mom and Dad are on their way to mass.  The rosary is prayed on the way there, and aligns to soul to be ready for the sacred mysteries.  At mass, with hands entwined, we sit close.  This is the closest thing to heaven that I know of.  I’m not exaggerating!  It is so beautiful and holy…We finish the Rosary on the way back…we end it with a prayer to St. Michael…Home…10 minutes to make coffee, comb little heads.  I un-bedhead the middle schooler if I can catch him!  We are “off to the races”, with crosses traced upon foreheads and kisses.  In the car, the children are led with a brief morning offering and a “Lord, help me to see you in others this day, help them to see you in me “...We play music, and feel glad to be going forth into the world.
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*The secret to making the morning as hitch-free as possible is preparation the night before.  Lunches are carefully assembled the night before and clothes for the little ones down to shoes and jackets and backpacks are set out.
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At night there is reading and prayer with the little ones, blessings on foreheads and encouragement to the older ones to remember to talk with God.  The little ones are encouraged to pray their own intentions out loud.  The littlest one adds her two cents and shouts out her jubilant, “I love you God!” with triumph.  Parent time ensues with (we hope) the least amount of interruptions.  There is time to unwind, be together, and love each other with simplicity.  If there is an issue to be resolved it is hashed out then, but hopefully there isn’t so we can just be, so we can simply enjoy the others’ company.
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Before we slip into the dark of the “little death”, we pray, tracing a cross upon each others’ forehead, saying, “God Bless you.”  My husband does the same on my growing abdomen.  We whisper “I love you” to each other and give a final kiss goodnight.

We bless one another before someone leaves on a trip with a general petition that God keep the other safe from harm and allow us peace the days we are apart. Nothing pre-written, just a general blessing. Sometimes my husband throws in a prayer that I’ll have patience with the kids while he’s gone and sometimes I throw in a prayer that he’ll remember to call us when he can. Nothing too spectacular, just putting our days apart in God’s hands and hoping for the best!

One beautiful thing I realized a few years ago was that no matter what, if my husband asked, “You wanna pray a rosary?” or if I asked at the end of a long day as we were settling down to sleep, “You wanna pray a decade?” that neither of us has *ever* refused.  It’s just an immediate, “Sure!” without hesitation. 
I think that has helped us feel more confident in making the request - knowing that we are always ready to support each other in prayer.

My dh and I have prayed (on and off) together throughout our 30+ years of marriage.  However, we are very consistent with praying as a family with all the kids.  Even our adult children and college age kids join in our prayers before the youngest head off to bed.
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And we, as a couple, end most nights with something from the list (tho’ we’ve never dived into the Divine Office.
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The best blessing we’ve had from this is the conversations God has inspired after the prayer.  I’ll talk about the kids and some concerns, he’ll mention his own, we’ll worry together about money, jobs, etc. 
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This doesn’t happen every night but it is truly miraculous the number of times our prayer has led us into something ‘deeper’ as it were.

My husband and I don’t generally pray together. We used to when we were first married and with the kids at night. Then the nighttime routine got a bit more complicated. I started falling asleep, nursing a baby, so he said night prayers with the older children. Then the older kids had evening classes or events, so I prayed and read to the younger children, while he did it with the older ones later. My husband works at home and he often works late, whereas I go to bed earlier and wake up earlier. Of course, we pray together at meals and mass and traveling. However, I think the biggest reason we don’t pray together is that our prayer preferences differ. He says the divine office throughout the day - in Latin (which is like a second tongue to him). I pray the morning and evening hours in English (at different times than he). I also have some private devotions he is not into and vice versa. However, because we each work at having a good prayer life, we don’t feel there is anything lacking in our marital relationship because we don’t pray side by side daily. We have been married for over 25 years and it just gets better every year.

One thing me and my mom can always do together when I go visit her is go to Adoration.  And it definitely helps.

Close each day with a big hug,thanking God that you still have each other.  You never know when that will cease.  My wife, Lori and I were together 63 years and married over 58 years. It must have been a premonition when I gave her an extra big hug the night before she was suddenly gone. That extra hug is enough consolation to sustain me until we are together again.  I am certain she can now see the wonders for those who love God.  We spent a great deal of our prayer life together promoting the message of Our Lady of Fatima and the Cause for the Canonization of Padre Pio. I suspect he came for her when she died.

Thank you for sharing Simcha. Every breath should be a prayer…every kiss should be a prayer.

If you are going to pray why not follow the wisest many in the Bible and that would be Solomons writtings: The Book of Proverb. If today is Jan 15th use Proverbs 15 and so forth. Then move to the Gospels Matthe, Mark,
Luke and John. Use God’s words for even God’s words tells us to study it and meditate on his word.

My fiancee and I both love the Divine Office, and wish we could pray the whole darn thing, but with our work schedules, we just pray night prayer together before we say goodnight and go our separate ways.  It’s quick and easy, especially once you’ve been praying it for a while.  Maybe it sounds kind of “hokey” that we have such a burning desire to pray this prayer—we haven’t always both loved the Divine Office.  Both of us grew up Catholic, but didn’t even know what the Divine Office was until college when we both had our “true conversions” to Jesus Christ and His Church.  As we discovered the truth and beauty of the Catholic faith as individuals, we both found in our hearts a desire to pray the office regularly.  Now that we are called to marriage, it is something neat that we share together.  To know that we are praying the prayer of the Church together each night is so beautiful, and something that I hope we continue to make a habit of when we have a family.  It truly helps us understand that we are part of a larger family…and that our family is a little “domestic church” where we will all seek God’s will and by His grace, attain heaven.

We pray grace before meals together, and we pray night prayers with our children together each evening.  We go through phases when we pray the rosary together.  We know we should be more consistent with it.  Right now we are at the beginning of a 54 day rosary novena.  Hopefully, we’ll keep the momentum going, even after we finish the novena.

I second the “Prayer Book for Spouses.”  It has a lot of different prayers for different occasions, even a “prayer before making love”.  Yep, that’s a great time to pray and be thankful for the opportunity to renew your wedding vows that happens every time you come together in the Marriage act :)

My husband and I pray together almost every night.  Truly, everything does go better with prayer.  We have recently started making the sign of the cross over our children’s foreheads and praying to the God of your grandfather Andre for our son or to the god of your Grandmother Terese.  These special and specific blessings show each child that they are part of a very long history of Catholics in both of our families.  The reaction on our children’s faces says it all, one of extreme abundance and thanksgiving! I also ask each child on the drive to school, “what prayers would you like this morning”? Prayer definitely helps our children head to school with courage, strength, and the embracing arms of Jesus as I drop them off in the morning. They come home saying “God helped me on my test” or “my day was great because of your prayers”!

Christopher West would likely have a few good suggestions about when spouses could and should pray together :P

Taking time to pray the holy rosary, especially after the death of my mom in November of last year - may God bless her faithful, kind, loving and beautiful soul - has kept us humble in prayer with the Lord, with the saints and Mama Mary, in the forgiveness of sins and in renewing our faith as we proclaim God’s glory.  For me, I feel the essence of my faith and oneness with the Lord for He too became man that we may better relate to Him, and to our mother in Mama Mary, as I pray the rosary with my wife and family. 

We may falter a few times and forget, as we may sin, but praying during meals and in the rosary in the evening helps renew us to love, care and forgive each other, as God in Jesus has shown us the true meaning of loving unconditionally in the forgiveness of sins.

Wonderful post. I’d add only candles and icons (to the 2nd list).

My wife is like a holy flame that I can see wherever I am, and whatever I’m doing.  Although I gravitate without her presence at times, I am never outside her beneficial influence.  Returning from work or errands is like plunging back into the holy lake of cleansing fire.  Refreshment for all my dreary, dane and lackluster toils.  All our life is a prayer we pray together, and touch to relate the exigencies.  And all are weaved within, from all the paths of life.  We pull them from the frothy waves, and save them from the strife.

One great thing about being a priest’s wife is that we get priestly blessings after night prayer. I like the idea of a married couple blessing each other- I am ashamed to admit that I have never done that for my husband…I’m going to start tonight with the new 2013 holy water (thanks for the inspiration)

Thanks for the way to ray together when my husband says “I don’t pray the same way you do,”  “snuggle up and pray next to him. ” I haven’t thought of that one.  Actually he IS praying one decade of the rosary with me during this year for marriage, life and Religious freedom .  Our bishops have asked us to do a rosary each day, so I asked him to do One decade.  By the way we’ve been marriage 42 years.
Ellen

We’ve been married for 31 years.  After my husband converted to Catholicism he became quite dedicated to the rosary.  It was his idea for us to pray a rosary together every night and we’ve been doing that for many years.  It’s one of my favorite things about our marriage.

Lazy Catholic three-pack for the win!  Sometimes more, but I try and make sure at least that.  And the Guardian Angel prayer with our 1 year old son :)

Thank you for this post and excellent ideas and inspiration!

Regarding free form prayer:
“Married couples who are very open with each other in every other way can feel very shy about praying aloud—but it can be an amazing experience…When you are side by side and showing your hearts to God, your spiritual vulnerability can draw you closer together.”

This is so very true!

If I may make a suggestion, a couple of years ago I was looking for some help with this problem, and found a website: http://www.coupleprayer.org/ for a program called “Together with Jesus Couple Prayer”. It is a six week program to help couples feel more comfortable praying together.  This program helps by presenting several different ways to pray. Many are scripture-based. They allow each person to freely pray aloud, without embarrassment and/or being self-conscious - eventually. We are now getting ready to present this for a fourth time in our parish - couples who take it are always very appreciative of the experience.

Matt B on Jan 15 @ 7:40 PM: That’s pure poetry. Sort of glides along effortless. There’s something definitely iambic pentameter in your words. Once again, thank you for the guidance.

Consonance and dissonance. Major and minor. Sharps and flats. Voila`: a symphony.

This article is so very helpful thank you for reminding people to pray in this busy busy world!
Recently, my dear husband and I started praying the rosary together.
And I have to tell you we were giggling like a couple of kids.
It made me so happy to be able to share my deepest love for Jesus with the man I love!

I am glad you considered the question, what if your spouse isn’t religious? Thank you for that. So often on Catholic blogs and forums, folks comment in ways that suggest every Catholic couple shares the same degree of faith. For these folks, it all seems so easy. God in His infinite wisdom blessed me with deep faith many years into our marriage. Why the same has not happened with my husband? I don’t know, but maybe someday. But thank you for having the sensitivity to mention folks like me.

My husband and I are very good about praying together when things are difficult - a hospitalized child, a death of a loved one, etc.  We are also pretty good about praising God together when times are really good.  But honestly, for most of our marriage, the only times we pray together are Mass, which we do try to attend together, and those rare times when we eat together, which is typically once or twice a week.    As some of our kids are now in the scary teen years, I suppose we should be doing more praying together.  Thanks for the push!

Over at New Advent, Daria Sockey makes the point that some of that hand holding prayer is just a little too much for some men.  Well sure.  I get it, everyone is different. Be that as it may, I couldn’t help but feel bad for them—My gut reaction is kind of off-the-wall, but the whole thing kind of reminds me of how when you’re having your first baby, and you’re on that bed splayed out like nobody’s business. There’s this appalling factor. *What* was God thinking?  For heaven’s sakes, this is really undignified.  A hospital worker comes in to deliver an item.  The anesthesiologist stays and absent mindedly watches the show. Somewhere in your brain there’s a complaint being filed with administration. There comes a point however, where all modesty is simply secondary to getting. that. baby. OUT. !
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That’s where my husband and I got to in our marriage.  We were both pretty cool and collected at the beginning part of labor.  Hand holding is for sissies! Newly minted lovers are a bit soft in the lobes…
But God has this way of not letting a couple stay in a perpetual stage 1 of labor.  Not if He can help it.  That would be a strange sort of purgatory.
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Once you’re holding that beautiful baby, you can’t believe that there are 7 billion people walking around on the planet.  You’re flummoxed. Your body is gelatinous. Unwaterproof mascara has made you somewhat blurred. You don’t care because you have been changed forever, and you can never go back, nor would you want to.
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That’s kind of what it feels like to pray from the heart, with and for your spouse, on that monumental day when three of you decide that your marriage can’t stay stalled in the beginning part of labor.
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You certainly can’t pray like that every day.
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Seeing my six foot, strapping, proud, soccer fanatic,action-movie-loving husband, splayed open and praying humbly before God, and with me, simply rocked my world.  I can’t think of anything more manly. It was a turning point in our marriage, and my love for him.
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...Please God take me, if we ever go back to being cool and above it all…

Janie: Now you understand the importance of choosing someone with the same faith for the most important decision in your life.  The only real meaning for life is to save your immortal soul.  You chose the right faith.  I believe your prayers for him will be heard and answered.  Ask our Blessed Mother to introduce him to her Son.

I never saw so many responses as this one.  They are all so beautiful.  My husband and I have been married for over 61years.  I seem to be the Pray-er in the family.  He doesnt go to Church, but we do say the meal prayer every evening before supper. It keeps things simple.  As I have been growing deeper in prayer, saying the Divine Office every day as a Lay Carmelite, I just want to share how I have learned to pray for my husband and our problems when they arrive. Whenever he is working on a project he is having a hard time managing, I pray silently to St. Joseph to help him, also my husband’s Angel, also for my Angel to help my husband’s Angel to help him. In no time, the project is done short of a miracle every time.  Other times I have prayed to our Blessed Mother to help him to make decisions when it comes to family matters.  It works every time.  The matter is settled in no time.  I dont know what we would do without these beautiful images of our Faith to keep us going in this aging process.  Sometime, it’s just no fun, but the Lord Jesus, Mary and Joseph and our Angels and many Saints are always there to assist.  Thank God for them and our Catholic Faith.

@Bob Rowland - you make a good point, but in my case, I’m a cradle Catholic and I married a cradle Catholic. We agreed we wanted to be married in the Catholic Church and raise Catholic children. So I did “choose someone of the same faith for the most important decision of your life”. It turns out we were both pretty lukewarm Catholics. I was raised with very little actual Catholic formation. I didn’t know what I didn’t know. My faith bloomed in a powerful way more than 10 years into our marriage. From my husband’s view, I’m the one that changed, not him.

This is why I am expressed my gratitude to Simcha for noting that we don’t all share the same faith with our spouses, much as we would love to, much as we pray that one day, we will.

I do apologize for my erroneous assumptions, Janie. God bless you bath.

I don’t know how the a got in both

We don’t have a regular prayer time together other than meals and if we put the kids to bed, and Mass, but whenever we pass a Planned Parenthood or other slaughterhouse, we say Hail Mary and a Memorare.  By the Grace of God we are able to come together for the Innocents.

My husband and I also have added Centering Prayer to the Mass and a host of many traditional prayer forms. We’ve been doing this for many years, and find that being still together before our Trinitarian God whose first language is silence, consenting to the Divine Indwelling and action of grace in our lives, and allowing the Holy Spirit, through His gifts, to transform our daily lives into the best versions of ourselves, has done more for us on our spiritual journey of practicing the presence of God than any thing else. We surrender to God’s way and relinquish our need to be in control.  This practice has Christ transformed us and additionally makes each Mass we attend a beautiful contemplative experience with the heavenly host.

The Holy Spirit sometimes appears unable to distinguish between two married people, and may react as if you’re praying together.

(Indeed, circumsised hearts are one).

Love it.

Circumcised, I should say. All the covenantal signs seem to bear witness to this joining together.