I’m worried about the Duggars.
I’m just being silly, of course. The famous parents of 19 kids and counting and stars of their own reality show have likely seen and heard every kind of vile criticism of their large family lifestyle by now. They’re grown ups. They can probably take it.
In fact, I am continually impressed with the genuine sense of peace and calm that they convey whenever I hear either one of them speak.
But the news of their youngest child Josie’s premature birth months ago provided new fodder for their critics.
Ah-ha! The large-family nay-sayers seemed to delight in pronouncing. Now these parents are truly being selfish—having so many babies that it threatens their health!
Of course such criticism is unfair. Of course preemie babies are born every day to even first-time parents. And of course the Duggars are doing their very best to ensure that tiny Josie receives the very best care.
But that won’t stop the onslaught. And now that their baby’s poor health is making headlines again, I am sure the cries for government intervention will intensify. In fact, in the comments section following the article linked above there are several cries for exactly that.
I think the Duggars are in a unique position to set an amazing pro-life example, just by living out their lives while the nation watches. They testify to the value of large family living, but also to the intrinsic value of each and every human life. Tiny Josie, weak and fragile though she might be, has already touched her family’s hearts. The Duggars have moved their other 17 children still living at home to a temporary home in Little Rock, Ark. to be near where Josie gets her care.
And when Josie first came home from the hospital (before needing to be hospitalized again), the other children were overjoyed:
“The littlest Duggars at home – Jackson, 5, Johanna, 4, Jennifer, 2, and Jordyn, 15 months – have never seen Josie in person and ‘are jumping up and down that they will finally get to meet their baby sister,’ says Michelle. “
A family that makes great financial and personal sacrifices in order to care for its littlest member’s needs and joyful children who leap with excitement at the prospect of meeting a baby sister stand in stark contrast to the bitter anger and hatred that fills the comboxes.
I’ll take the Duggars and their “crazy” joy-filled lifestyle over that kind of vitriol any day.
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Well said…Amen!!
I am grateful that the Duggars are willing to put it out there with their show and show us how a family can not only grow but thrive in our society by living their lives without daily exposure to TV and the internet. We see their Mother homeschooling them and the older ones caring for the younger ones. We see them becomming responsible young adults with a family of their own. They have taught us that it is possible to do this without aquiring a large debtload. I find it refreshing. They have also reminded us that it is God first, others second and self last and have shown us the example of it.
I like Michele Duggar very much - she radiates joy and love, and the children are wonderful. I have a different response to ‘Jim Bob’...I think that’s his name…in one segment while Michele was pregnant, she was asked how she felt and she said something about how she suffers during each pregnancy (she didn’t use the word suffer) but sounded like it was not an easy time for her…Jim Bob didn’t respond…
Sam, please don’t be too hard on Jim Bob. Remember these TV shows are edited, and he may have been surprised at Michelle sharing that there are trials during her pregnancies (every woman I know has something about the pregnancy experience that can be irksome at the least, and we don’t always share that with our husbands!) Or Michelle’s comment could have been edited in the middle of what she was saying, so Jim Bob waited until she actually finished speaking to respond, but viewers never get to see it. These 30 minute shows are only about 22 minutes of their lives that we see. I too admire Michelle’s calm, joyful demeanor and wish I could be the same way with mine, and I only have four. Maybe the secret is to have more children, then mom relaxes a bit more!
I do admire the Duggers, yet never understood why they keep going on TV. Although the kids seem well balanced and very kind, it is still a family, which to me should be private. They could witness in other ways perhaps. They do a beautiful job with their family. I wish nothing but the best for them.
I don’t really know why they would choose to subject their family to public scrutiny in a TV show (I’ve never seen the show myself; had never even heard about it before now), but I can hazard a guess. I would guess that their reasons are two-fold: (1) It probably helps them financially, and raising a large family is very expensive. (I’m one of 11 children in my family, and I know how much my parents sacrificed to raise us!) – AND—(and probably more important to them) (2) They provide a desperately-needed counter-cultural message that big families are not only GOOD but also DOABLE. They probably demonstrate that the challenges posed by raising large families makes the couple (and also the kids) more selfless, more patient, more grace-filled, more holy; and people REALLY NEED to see that kind of example in this selfish age. I would guess that the Holy Spirit orchestrated this whole TV show, and the Duggars felt led to obey, at the personal sacrifice of their privacy and a tempest of vitriol from strangers. Pray for them!
How could anyone like these people? They are clearly off their rocker. I am not at all opposed to people having a multitude of children - in fact I admire people who choose to have large families. But not the Duggars. They have a very creepy Mormon feel even though they’re not. It may seem to some that they’re happy but from the times I have watched the show I beg to differ. Jim Bob (there’s your first sign) seems like a controlling creeper and Michelle seems almost brainwashed by him. The other reason I do not get why the NCR would even write about them is because from what I can tell their brand of Christianity is probably not too kind to Catholicism. I think I may unsubscribe being I don’t understand why the NCR would allow someone to write about these people in high esteem.
TJ, first of all I believe the Dugger’s are Pentacostal, not Mormon. Regardless of their “brand” of Christianity, they seem to live more Christian lives than many of the Catholics I attend mass with weekly. They must have something others don’t, including yourself, so don’t knock it. Second of all, it seems to me the only reason you think the relationship between Michelle and her husband is “creepy” is b/c you have little experience w/ marital relationships that are actually lived they way they should, with the wife being subordinate to the husband but the husband having ultimate respect for and in the service of his bride….sound familiar? I used to find certain overtly religious people “creepy” until I truely came back to the faith and I realized what I thought was “creepy” was the evil in me being repulsed by the Christ in others. Try pulling the wooden beam out of your own eye before pointing out the splinter in others. Maybe you will see a bit more clearly.
I didn’t want to say it but ever since I first saw ‘Jim Bob’, he creeps me out too…there’s something about him that…well, I can’t explain it. I think Michelle is a beautiful person but totally under the influence of ‘Jim Bob’...they are not Mormon…
I definitely do not think Michelle and her children are ‘off their rockers’ and I don’t believe we should be disrespectful, nor should we judge but I will say that no matter how hard I try, ‘Jim Bob’ makes me uneasy…more than uneasy. So I don’t watch the show but I do wish them well…I don’t think they are Pentecostal either…it’s another Christian denomination where one has as many children as one possibly can trusting it is the will of God…there’s nothing wrong with that. The children all seem healthy and happy…
And no one really knows how they live their Christian lives when they’re off camera…and no one knows what kinds of lives Catholics live when they are not at Mass…and Kirry, you can’t judge why another feels that “jim bob” is creepy…maybe you should take the splinter out of your own eye before demanding that others do…perhaps ‘JimBob’ is a good father and a good husband and a good Christian…nonetheless, there’s something about him that I am uneasy with and it has nothing to do with women being subject to their husbands, etc…
The Duggar family are so close to home and the heart of God especially for the children and baby Josie. May I share a personal account:
My nurturing mother was always ready to help the needy. She was my prime example, or the innocent victim with good intentions that didn’t see any harm that could ever come from doing a good deed.
She had seventeen children. When she became a grandparent, you’d think she’d had enough of her share with nurturing children. Well, she didn’t, especially for the little ones! She was still looking out for the health and welfare of babies and toddlers.
When any of us children became a parent and couldn’t handle our own young, we would always call Mom for help. After all, she was the most loving and nurturing! Being young parents, it is truly understandable that we didn’t always make the right decisions. It was a poor excuse, but our ignorance also denied us from taking into account that my mother still had a house full of her own young children ( five to be exact) to look after! What a shame we were so inconsiderate, as some children are.
My mother was a woman of prayer that wanted to do only what God would have of her. An example of what she imagined a good deed would be this: Kindly asks an older child to volunteer and help out with their married siblings’ babies or toddlers, because her hands were too full. Her goal was two-fold: doing what she thought was best for the little ones and being the role model for her children so that they too would one day follow suite. But sadly, this helpfulness towards some of the married siblings turned out to be a never ending expectation. All too late we found that some of the children that were aiding the others spoke out in feeling this pressure of responsibility - Because the call never ended from some of the married siblings, and sadly, remained one sided, year after year.
Coming from such a large family, it became clearer to see how ‘often’ this pattern was being repeated. My eyes are open to this now, and every day I pray for a way to break the pattern. This is why I continue to write between the lines in Imprinted Wisdom, and share some of the questions and answers from my personal account. There’s no good in writing about the wrongs if it hurts those we love, or anyone, in the process. The intention is to learn from our mistakes. My Prayer:
How might we break this pattern and be available to continue to bring the good in the world, become the role model for others, and know when and who to help?: Through prayer, reading the Gospel, and reflection we will begin to discern from those who are givers and takers in the world, ( even in our own families) and keep our eyes open for those who are truly in need or at a loss. Believe and trust that the good (God) knows the only ‘One True’ way that benefits everyone. Set that intention in your heart and believe. We then begin to See!
This is not an easy task because we love all our children ( and siblings) the same. As parents, and with every good intention, we sometimes sweep too many little things under the rug or react out of ‘fear’ of offending anyone. We then lose sight of the true good deed. In essence, we close our eyes. When the needy are truly taken into account, we do it openly, and it then benefits everyone involved. Your heart is God.
Note: The life I experienced growing up in a family of seventeen children with parents, who lovingly taught us to help with the younger ones, was not the problem that some of the youngest siblings encountered later on. In fact my mother always remarked how easy and joyful it was when we were all children! It was the additional pull from the some of the married siblings’ neediness that left ‘less’ room for some of the younger ones ‘needs’ that may have been over looked. When the family expanded with so many more. I think.
Thank you very much, Danielle, for your blessed and loving insights!
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