Ten Rules for Great Parenting

Play with your children every day

- This tires them out for bedtime.

Kiss your children before they go to bed

- That way you can tell if they actually brushed their teeth or they just ran the toothbrush under the faucet.

Hug Your Children

- There are many reasons to hug your children, but a great one is that your child can’t get into too much trouble if you have your arms around them.

Know where your children are

- It’s important to know where your children are at all times. You never know when they’ll need an alibi.

Help them with their homework

- Because then they’ll get into a good college and be employable so they don’t live in your basement. If you are really lucky, you can live in theirs.

Force them to eat their vegetables

- Otherwise you might have to eat what’s left since they’ve eaten all the good stuff and there’s no way you’re going to go to the bother of making something for yourself.

Stay on Top of the Laundry

- By that I mean, let the kids play on top of the ginormous pile of clothes because even if they fall down they’re just landing on sweaters. Note: The underwear of anyone under 4 years old adds an entire new dimension to the game.

Teach your children to care for smaller children

- Nothing makes life easier than your oldest children watching the younger ones.

Teach them phone manners

- Phone manners actually means “DON’T TALK TO ME WHEN I’M ON THE PHONE!!!!!” (Caveat - unless they need to know where the fire extinguisher is, in which case I don’t even think we have one so I should be hanging up and getting out of the house now.)

Don’t let them watch too much television

- That way you can watch whatever you want.