I Didn't Sign Up For This
I’m tired. Are you?
We believers, Catholics, Protestant, Jewish and the rest, we are beleaguered. I don’t know about you, I am tired.
I am tired of having to defend basic morality as if I am some fringe element. This is not what I signed up for.
I am tired of having to make the case, in polite terms lest I be accused of inflammatory or insulting language, that I shouldn’t have to subsidize your sin. I feel like an idiot having to explain such basic things. This is not what I signed up for.
I am tired. I have prayed for years that the bishops would stand up and fight, fight for what is right, so that I wouldn’t have to. I didn’t sign up for this.
This is a battle for things beyond my competency. I am no theologian and no scholar. I am not even a particularly good Catholic. I am a sinner just trying to make my way home.
I am tired. Just leave me be.
This may be the moment. This may be the moment when our Bishops earn their patrimony as Apostles. So many Bishops, so many, have stood up for what is right I am amazed and humbled. Bishops that I have criticized for their milquetoastiness are digging in their heels and impressing the hell out of me. This is the Holy Spirit in action.
Might this be the moment that God’s promise of protection for the Church turns the tide? I am so tired, but yet. I have been begging for this for years, Bishops who stand against such injustice and now I have it. Can I really sit on the sidelines now?
I had all but given up on trying to convince anyone that contraception is the foundational evil of our day, the evil that leads to so many other evils. Face it, I thought to myself, “You have lost the argument. It is not even worth discussion anymore.”
And then, then, a presidential candidate who believes what I believe on this topic and is not afraid to talk about it makes it part of the national conversation. The opposition smugly believed that this topic would kill his candidacy, that is why they brought it up. But the candidate continues to thrive even though they have thrown the kitchen sink at him. He may not win, but the electorate has clearly not rejected the argument. I have been begging for this for years, a candidate who stands against such injustice, can I really sit on the sidelines now?
I can’t be tired now, I can’t give up. Now might be that moment. Now might be that moment upon which future generations will look and see that this was the turning of the tide. This was the moment when the Bishops became pillars and bulwarks again. This is the moment when one Church, one Church, stood against the great evils of the day. So many caved, but one, one stood. This might be that moment? The moment when millions see the Church for what it truly is? Can I really sit on the sidelines now? Isn’t this what I signed up for?
Isn’t this our moment? Isn’t this my moment? Isn’t this the day I have prepared myself ever since I believed in Christ?
I signed up for this. I signed up for the ridicule. I signed up for the persecution. I signed up for the disappointment and I signed up for the relentless prayer in the face of all odds. I signed up for defeat so that victory could be had.
I signed up to lose, so Christ could win. I signed up for humiliation, so Christ could triumph. I signed up for loss and defeat, so that Christ could have the victory.
When I agreed to be a Christian, I took up my cross. This is what I signed up for.
I don’t know what will happen over the next months or years, but I do know that I will fight. I will fight for what I believe in and I will fight to the death for the free exercise of those beliefs. This is the moment we have been waiting for and and I am not tired. I am primed for the fight.
After all, this is what I signed up for.