
Matt Archbold graduated from Saint Joseph’s University in 1995. He is a former journalist who left the newspaper business to raise his five children. He writes for the Creative Minority Report.
I write for the National Catholic Register so sometimes I'll get an email or a call from public relations people to interview a writer or a celebrity. It's kinda' cool. I know some writers and reporters get it all the time so it's kinda' boring for them but for me it's still pretty cool.
Last year, I interviewed Martin Sheen and Emilio Estevez and another time I interviewed Teresa Tomeo over the phone. She's the easiest interview ever because you ask her one question and she's so passionate and knowledgeable that she'll talk for the whole interview.
But all in all I think I'm a pretty terrible interviewer because I always do a lot of research and then I completely get thrown off and just end up having a conversation that's of very little to use for a story. But even knowing that I'm the world's worst interviewer didn't prepare me for the disaster of my interview on Friday with the great Catholic actor Eduardo Verástegui.
Survivors of the Titanic would be like "duuude."
I got the call on Wednesday to interview him about the DVD release of "For Greater Glory" and was pretty excited. The p.r. guy gave me a bunch of times and I agreed to do it on Friday at 1:30. I figured the kids would be in school so it'd be perfect.
I did research for this interview. I know that Eduardo was once on Charmed. I know that his next movie is with Sean Astin and Kevin James. I watched the short film "Circus of Butterflies" which is absolutely beautiful. And I rewatched "For Greater Glory" which is astoundingly good and moving.
I was ready for this interview.
I had my tape recorder next to the phone three hours early. This was the most prepared I've ever been. I even wrote out questions on a piece of paper and put it right next to the keyboard. This is preparation at its finest folks.
Insert problems here.
It turned out that the kids had a half day and I'm still not even sure why. So they'd be home for the interview. Uh-oh. Five kids and Eduardo. What could go wrong?
My plan was to sit them down to do their homework but when they got into the van they all said they had no homework other than covering books. "It's the second day of school!" they squealed.
OK. There goes that plan. So I sit them down with books. "I can't read," the five year old reminds me. Darn it. I probably should've gotten to that at some point over these past few years.
OK. I tell them that the five year old should draw quietly while everyone else reads. So she toddles off, grabs some crayons, some paper and sets herself up at the dining room table. OK? Good. The kids don't seem happy about this as it's starting to feel like a punishment so I blame Eduardo. I tell the kids that as soon as I'm done with the interview we can all play around like crazy people, OK?
The phone rings. It's a p.r. person saying I have Eduardo on the line. Perfect. I sit down at the keyboard.
Hello Eduardo?
Yeah, I call him Eduardo.
"Hello," he says. "How are you?"
I tell him I'm great. And then I look down at my first question and I'm looking at a stapler and a receipt from a sporting goods store. Uhm. My eyes dart around my desk. Checkbook, router, empty Diet Coke, pen, full Diet Coke, and a crayon. A crayon!?
I'm no Hardy boy but this is a clue.
I'm dying to find my interview questions so I fill the time with this brilliant question: "Uhm," I say to Eduardo. "Uhm. Soooooooooooooooooooo....your movies's coming out on DVD, huh?"
Not seeming to mind that this is the worst opening question in an interview ever, Eduardo tells me that it's not just a DVD release it's so much more. He tells me there's "more scenes" and included in it is "a history of what happened" leading up to the Cristero movement.
As he's telling me this I dart over to the five year old who is drawing fastidiously in bold colors like Leroy Niemann without the subtlety and I look under her crazy drawing and I see my questions.
"I want this film to inspire people, touch them, educate them and transform them," says Eduardo as I'm pull the paper out from under my five year old's crayon like a magician pulling the tablecloth from under candlesticks and silverware. This shocks the five year old who yelps and then she looks up at me and I give her my look of intense pleading for quiet.
But something gets lost in the translation and she takes my look of intense pleading for quiet as my mad face and then...tears. She starts crying. Now I'm thinking about treating my daughter like a grenade and just darting out of her blast range as fast as I can but my parenting instincts kick in and then I give her my "I'm sorry" face. But she can't see that because her face is pressed against my belly.
And that's when I realize that Eduardo has stopped talking. "Hello?" I hear him say.
And then I throw in this brilliant question. "Uhm. Uh. I gotta' tell you I didn't know anything about Mexico before this movie?"
Yeah, that's what I said. Word for word. I know. Believe me I know. "I mean, I didn't know anything of the religious persecution."
Eduardo says he didn't either. And that's much worse for him as a Mexican. He says the danger in not knowing the history is we "keep repeating the same mistakes."
Eduardo is telling me about the history while the five year old is still whimpering into my shirt and I tell her that I'll go get her more paper and crayons while holding the phone up above my head so Eduardo can't hear me talking about crayons while he's telling me about the a horrible religious persecution.
Now, the 12 year old has come around to save me. Thank goodness. She picks up the five year old, gives me her "you're the worst father in the world" look which I absolutely deserve, and she sits her down to draw again. I go into the corner of the room next to the printer to get paper and crayons.
Now there's something you should know about that corner of my house. It's a dead spot in cell phone coverage. This doesn't come up often because quite frankly I don't go rooting around the crayon bin very often. But it came up today. Oh yeah. As I'm reaching in for some paper and a few more crayons while Eduardo is talking about the importance of knowing history and taking inspiration from the martyrs...Eduardo goes bye bye.
Eduardo Versategui fell right down the dead spot in my house. Oh noooooo.
Oh my. I plop the crayons and the paper down and the kids are all looking at me as I turn the tape recorder off.
"Is it over?" they ask.
"Uhm. Yeah," it's over.
They cheer, unaware of my complete embarrassment. Right away the kids break into their Lord of the Flies playtime. You see, I made them sit still for four minutes. They felt like veal.
The nine year old takes the basketball out and starts bouncing. This is not something she's allowed to do when Mom's home but I allow it because ...well ...because she has to work on her dribbling. The five year old and the boy start tumblesaulting on one of the pillows on the floor. The ten year old and the twelve year old each continued reading. God bless them. Well, wait. Actually the twelve year old reads and the ten year old asks me to notice that she's reading while all these other terrible kids put down their books while she, a good kid, is reading and...
The phone rings.
Hello?
It's Eduardo!!! Yay!
And he and the p.r. person are apologizing to me for getting disconnected. To be fair, the connection is really pretty poor for some reason. And I'm not about to use my quickly diminishing time with Eduardo to explain to him about the dead spot near the crayon bin. So I just press on.
I asked him about the important role the sacrament of confession played in the movie and then I can't really tell you what he said because if you'll remember I turned off my tape recorder after I lost the call the first time. But it was beautiful. Truly. I can't believe I turned the recorder off but take my word for it, it was a beautiful defense of the sacrament. He spoke of healing and God's love and admitting who we truly are. But I didn't record it because I'm the world's worst interviewer.
The p.r. person came on and said time was up and I hastily asked one more question about confession but the line disconnected. I'm thinking she was glad to get rid of me.
But I'll tell you Eduardo was awesome. I truly felt like I was talking to someone who was in love with God, the faith and movies. I wish I'd taped it. But it's probably a good thing the interview ended because the boy tumblesaulted and kicked the basketball into the five year old who wasn't hurt but felt wronged. And yelped appropriately.
This kind of has me thinking that I might be the world's worst parent on top of being the world's worst interviewer. Excelling at two things! Yes!
My apologies to the p.r. people (who I'll probably never hear from again), Eduardo (who I'll definitely never hear from again), my five year old for scaring her, and to you the reader for blowing a great interview. So even though I'm the worst interviewer, please check out "For Greater Glory." It's incredibly moving.
I asked my five year old what she drew on top of my questions. "It's a picture of you," she said. "Do you like it?"
I do, I said. I like my purple eyes. Let's put it on the refrigerator.
I have to agree with Chantal Arnaud, I was trying to get more information about the interview and all she talked about was her kids. Really amateurish article. Waste of my time. Couldnt get through the whole article, it was really annoying!
This brought back memories of my own child-rearing days juggling kids and their needs with organizing pro-life events, scheduling speaking engagements, etc. And I was only a volunteer. I enjoyed the article. Ignore the curmudgeons.
@Nel, Totally agree.
and @Ted S. Keep up the good work!
@Matt A, I really enjoy your spin on family life! Always a fun read.
I would be really excited about this site if it weren’t for all those that
succumb and fall prey to the twisted blandishments.
I was attracted to this article on this site (which I’ve never read before) by the intriguing title. I thought the article was funny. I did not pay money to read an interview with an actor (also one I’ve never heard of) in a film (I’ve never heard of; I don’t watch films much), so I was just pleased with what I got: a funny article.
Some people here are reacting as though they PAID this author GOOD MONEY to get them an interview, and he blew it, so they have the right to chew him out. As far as I can tell, he’s free to write whatever he likes. If you don’t like it, too bad. He’s not your employee. He didn’t cheat you. The title doesn’t promise an in-depth interview with this actor.
Strange, strange vitriol in reaction to this very pleasant piece.
I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who has done wild kid-filled interviews! And you turned it into such a great piece, too!!
its just a blog for heaven’s sake, not “hard journalism” right? why be so uncharitable? just click off…
@Barbara Nicolosi. The wisest comment posted. Some catholics are really deaf or blind to the truth. For Greater Glory is an undistinguished movie, poorly acted, that caricatures good and evil: good people are saints and evil people are demons, and also justifies Talion Law, that is NOT a Christian value.
I’m still stuck on the description of ‘Fro Greater Glory’ as “astoundingly good.” Really? REALLY?! Please watch ‘A Man for All Seasons,’ ‘Lawrence of Arabia,” ‘Rear Window,’ ‘Amadeus,’ and then get back to us.
We really really really have to stop fawning over mediocre art and media just because it’s made by Catholics.
“Bet you Zach is a liberal arts major who is impressed with the fact that he knows how to use the word “ode…” OTOH, he has absolutely no idea how to use a hyphen.
I don’t know whether to laugh or cry at the Holiness and Professional Behavior Police over here!
I think i’ll laugh because I was already laughing reading the article. Wonderful! And I can very much relate. Thanks for posting this.
I bet Eduardo would find it very funny, too. I hope someone sends this to him.
You know, I think the kids in the blog comment box are more troublesome than the kids in the house… I hope one of them draws you a nice picture to make up for it. :)
Yikes, I have never seen so much vitriol poured out against work at home parents before! Wow. Matt, great article ... I have had pretty much the same thing happen to me while working from home; I know just where you’re coming from. The thing about parenting is that it’s always a work in progress ... someday, your kids won’t need you so much, but while they do, there’s nothing for it but to deal with their needs. Sounds like your oldest was a big help, so they’re getting there.
Half parent. Half journalist. Things done halfway. Too many halves.
Stop complaining and inspiring pity. Don’t blame others: children, school, phone company. Blame yourself.
Funny comments. Whatever. Love the piece, love the five-year-old, love the chaos and the honesty. Blessings:).
Gee, Ronald, Judgemental much? There are ways for the intelligent to be notified of new posts on a thrread
I read this blog and noticed that the same antisocial guys are posting day after day in such an hostile way. Overmuch resentment. Internet addiction? Deal with your obsession, get a life and a job.
Benjamin, that you assumed I was not a good parent shows that you are one of those “disgusting gnostic trolls”. Really? What is the definition of a “good parent”? One that controls their child to the point of being abusive? One that screams at their child because that is all they can do? One that expects a child to be seen and not heard?
I have raised 2, and am almost finished with the raising of the 3rd. Each child was different, and each child was a unique challenge. Yet, I did not, and would not recommend one size fits all parenting gurus, no matter the perspective…why? Simply because while many have parented well, it was their child they parented…not mine. If they did it in a study type session, then they looked at children as lab rats, and not cognitive thinking human beings. Matt did that…he recognized his child for who she was…and his children recognize him for who he is. I don’t see a need for “holier than thou” parenting lessons, and I don’t see the need for Matt or Ted to do them either…the only ones that have a problem are the Pharissaic gnostics in the room.
Benjamin, how many of Dr. Ray’s children have a 2mm scar in the language center of their brain?
Or have autism?
Or Asperger’s?
Still, Dr. Ray’s advice even fits here for what we are *directly* talking about- the type of children who *will* defy discipline, no matter what the parent does (and the correct response, while being more discipline than the average child, does indeed include “picking one’s battles”):
http://www.drray.com/tips/thespirityc.htm
Intelligence is not a privilege of “those disgusting gnostic trolls”, as some of you have mentioned above.
Amazingly, catholics are also intelligent. Dr. Ray Guarendi, is an example. He is a husband, father of 10 adopted children and clinical psychologist, Ph.D., specialist in parenting and behavioral issues.
Matt A., Ted S., Hector M.: go to www.drray.com. It is never late to learn how to be a good parent.
Love this post! And if any of us don’t know the history of Mexico, we should… see the movie.
Matt. Let´s be honest and fair. The right title is: “Eduardo Verastegui: victim of my negligence”.
If you focused on the author, you missed the point. You read with an open mend, and in his title, he did not mention that Eduardo was going to be the focus…in fact, it tilted toward warning the reader that things were not going to go as planned.
I don’t see egomania in the piece…where I do see it is in people who project their own egomania on others, to attempt to show how “intelligent” and “smarter than thou” they are. Again, the modern day “gnostics” who feel they possess special knowledge over everyone else.
For Greater Glory is a movie about the “Cristero” War, which is a pre-cursor to the Mexican Revolution that Pancho Villa was a part of. It is a movie about the hardships and torture, the murder, and martyrdom dealt to Catholics, especially clergy, by a communist leaning Mexican government that felt threatened by the belief in anything but the state. It shows the heroism of the people who looked for, and provided the sacraments. It shows that even a child can have a stronger faith than the adults he sees.
I am reading more of the comments some are negative others positive as usual . For God’s Greater Glory seem to focus on the defense of God Faith , during the time of Spanish American war. I saw the Pillars of the Earth and of God’s and Man . It seems that in criticizing people prudence and jurisprudence . Bless the Freedom of Speech among us . I wanted to have the cipy of the interview . Somewhat sleepy from a gruelling trip from the Pacific. May you be blessed . God bless you and the children and to all a good night !
Elena
@Ted- The unemployed?
@Paige said. “He is crying out loud “i am a super ‘multitask’ man! Me, myself and i are invincible, we do not need God!”
If the center of the interview is the actor and the movie for greater glory, why Archbold insists on changing it and focus on himself?
Certainly, is “the king of the world” complex.
Mr. Verástegui was used to justify a simple man’s egomania and self glorification.
@Thomas- how many doctors do you know who work from home with kids crawling all over them?
Thanks God Matt is not a doctor. With that lousy behaviour, if Eduardo had been his patient he would have died.
Like I said- I really don’t understand Jose’s teachings on work at all. I meant that.
This is the first time I’ve seen it used to justify professional detachment and beating your kids into behavior worthy of a saint, though.
What a bizarre comment thread.
@Ted Seeber - your understanding of the Opus Dei approach to work seems to be the exact opposite of its reality. I’m not a member, but from what I’ve read and seen, the OD approach to work is that there is no “separateness.” Work is an integral part of our persons and how we love God and others.
I agree with Simcha about people using Escriva quotes like a baseball bat in a street fight. I love his writing, I’m very intrigued by OD and attracted to it, but anytime I see Escriva quotes in a comment thread I think, “93% chance here comes an a-hole.”
Great story, and much fun! Thanks for it!
I tried to check the DVD out from Redbox yesterday & it wasn’t even on the list of upcoming films.Is it just my area or is that the case elsewhere, too?? Thanks!
You made me laugh till I cried. Tell the PR person that, because of that, I’m buying the DVD.
@Matt—you were lucky the kids didn’t start fighting. I think you’ll love this video of Mauricio Kuri, the actor who played Bl. Jose, in lieu of the lost interview. It seems Eduardo was not alone among the cast in his love for the Faith. http://atleastwerehere.wordpress.com/2012/06/22/bl-jose-and-mauricio-became-good-friends-2/
@Hector. Gringos keep up appearances, fear to cause a bad impression in other gringo, specially someone one he admires.
@Catalina- and Zach displays no quality whatsoever. That’s the point.
Sorry @Hector, but what really matters is the quality of the opinions, not the quantity.
Paul really went there…lol
I think the “Latino” is more understanding of the family dynamic that the typical “gringo”. (Matt being an exception) As an American of Mexican descent, the large family is the norm, rather than the exception, even to day, though I see the “controlled family” concept creeping into the culture. Eduardo probably understood what was happening…and had the humility and charity to understand…so by your comments, Paul, can it be deduced that “gringos” are far less charitable and understanding?
@Rose It´s easier to manipulate a latino than a gringo.
Two reasons:
1.-A gringo artist wouldn´t allow such a messy interview.
2.-The journalist wouldn’t dare to do it.
@Mario…call it insult met with insult…if many of the aforementioned folks that disagreed with the article had simply disagreed about the content, then I think there is less of a problem…however, you see more of an attack on the writer, versus the content. I, personally, am calling these folks on it.
Was what they said also intolerant and discriminatory? I could make the argument that it was…simply because it went after the autor, rather than the article. Zach’s for example, are all words used to describe the author, not the article, as an article can not have the traits he pointed out.
Is this un-Christian? No…I don’t beleive that even the worst poster is un-Christian, or un-Catholic…however, when doling out criticisms, you must have a thick enough skin to be criticized yourself.
@Mario, @Cristina- yes, and it’s born out of a history of intolerance and discrimination from the other side. It is called being human- tribalism is the default mental state.
This isn’t the first place I’ve seen Zach post, and his atheism has been obvious in previous posts.
@Cristina So true, that’s called intolerance and discrimination.
Matt, I have had these kind of interviews. In fact, usually something goes wrong at the last minute.
This Friday was one of them. I interviewed Eduardo at 2:45, my heart skipping a beat as his name appeared on the caller ID(you’d have to be a woman to understand!)
No kids were home (mine are a bit older than yours and YES I made sure they didn’t have a half day!)so I was in the clear, BUT, a half hour before, total chaos reigned; they had stolen the batteries from every tape recorder in the house! A half hour before the interview, I was frantically switching batteries out of every remote in the house into my older tape recorder. The old clunky one I use in emergencies.
The interview went off flawlessly, I had typed my questions including some from Facebook friends unto a WORD document, Eduardo was his usually charming, insightful self, and even remembered an in-person interview we did here in CT three years ago.I felt like a real professional. We talked for twenty minutes about everything from films to parenting (he would appreciate your being such an involved dad). So, I felt very confident saying goodbye to him, that things couldn’t be better.
UNTIL I tried to play back the tape. Somehow the tape speed was on slow or the batteries were old, and to understand him properly, I had to play him back on high speed, sounding like one of the Chipmunks. I was so nervous that the tape would snap and my work would be in vain.
It happens when you are working from home, Matt. I think the interview came out well, however, but it took up 8 pages. Here it is. http://www.patheos.com/Catholic/Eduardo-Verastegui-Defending-the-Faith-through-Art-Leticia-Velasquez-9-11-2012.html
Why always catholics insult the people who don’t think the same way? If they don’t know the person, why they inmediately anathematize him or her as atheists, agnostics, philistines or under the influence of the devil?
People of God are the Catholic Church, not buildings or objects.
Give the example, if you don’t, no one else will.
You offered no concrete criticisms on the article, Zach…you just acted like an overtenured, overpayed, joyless college professor who is jealous that his own writings do not garner the attention and readership of a work from home journalist. In other word, WHY was the article what you said it was. I, and probably 90 percent of the readers, enjoyed the article for what it was…an exercise in “the new normal” that is today’s workplace. Sorry Zach, but you come across as a pointy headed “ivory towerian” who has to make his own writings required reading in order to sell any books at all…
Zach, let me put it this way- if there was any substance to your argument that identifies humility as only narcissism, I would refute it.
As it is, it looks like just another troll posting from you saying nothing of importance to anybody and off topic even to those who criticize Matt’s parenting methods.
That is a fantastic article. If I was the person you interviewed reading this back I would so understand and laugh about it. You would certainly hear from me again. You speak with such high praise about Eduardo as a person and have obviously been moved by what he has said and the movie. And you sound like a fantastic father to me. That’s the way life should be. You were being you and to write about it so truthfully is refreshing. This has made me smile so much. Thank you!
Many talifans posting: a piece of work, a gem, priceless,
true humble man, went crazy!, to die for! …
Please, regain consciousness, idealization leads to fanaticism.
@Teddy and @Hectorcito: If you have no better argument than sarcasms to offer against my opinion, it means your own opinions rest on very feeble grounds.
Ode to the Sunrise
Did you ever see anything so overdone? Ecch! All those *colors* - pink, purple, gold - I should take an aspirin. And so *bright*! Could you notch it down a little? Where does the sun get *off*? Who the heck does the sun think he is, forcing all our attention on him in that obnoxious way? It’s all about Me-ee-e-e! Look at me! Want me! Love me!
The next time, Mr. Sunshine, you want to make an appearance, do me a favor, please don’t. Thank you.
The End.
@Zach Exactly! He is crying out loud “i am a super ‘multitask’ man! Me, myself and i are invencible, we do not need God!”
Posted by Hector Maldonado on Tuesday, Sep 11, 2012 3:18 PM (EST):Bet you Zach is a liberal arts major who is impressed with the fact that he knows how to use the word “ode”...”
***
But perhaps not “conceited.” I think the correct word choice would be “self conceit.”
Maybe a teacher here would know.
Loved it! I can’t believe the heat you’re getting from trolls, but you did an excellent honor to Eduardo and a humble, real-life example of Catholic family life. As a future home-school mom (my first is still stubbornly in-utero), I know I’ll have many such days of chaos when I try to accomplish…well…just about anything.
Bet you Zach is a liberal arts major who is impressed with the fact that he knows how to use the word “ode”...
Great article Matt!
And so is Zach’s comment. I’ve never known any atheist to not be also a narcissist.
The article is an ode to FALSE MODESTY expressed in self compassion, self reference, self proclamation, self convincement, self validation, self complacency and self conceited.
Loved the column and got a good laugh. I’m sure if Eduardo could read your column he’d understand. I guess Murphy’s law applies to a lot of things. I don’t have kids at home anymore, but I do have a peculiar dog that whines whenever I’m talking on the phone at the most inappropriate times (when I’m calling a doctor for instance) or talking to a long lost friend. I’m sure if I was interviewing someone over the phone either he’d be interrupting, my husband would or someone would show up at the door. Moms all over can understand your dilemna. Your column very much reminds of of Irma Brombeck’s (hope I have the spelling right) old columns. Thanks for a much needed laugh, and good luck on your future ones.
To all the boorish philistines who commented on this article:
There is no middle class in heaven, there is only the poor in Spirit and the rich in blessings. Therefore, your wretched, base, and unholy idols of industriousness and professionalism will be rotting in hell with Calvin and his ilk, while the lame will be feasting their buts off in the glory of the Wedding Feast in Heaven. Get a grip: as Joseph Pieper wonderfully says, festivity is the most important thing human beings do, and a story told with humor will count more in the heart of God than any of the T.P.A. reports filled out during the entire duration of this earth.
Hmm- something else that I just posted on Mark Shea’s blog, that fits here:
My son has taught me the joy of suffering in a way that NO other experience could. I think that’s why I handle flame wars so well- or maybe why Christopher was sent to us by God; because I no longer mind being a fool for Christ. I am that every Sunday that I go to Mass with my family.
@Marion - your comment made me laugh out loud. However, I have to disagree strenuously that I should be made to come out of my minivan for dog or snail torture. ;)
Thanks for the interview and sharing the stuff that happened. I enjoyed your interview ... and the reality of which it happened. Isn’t this the real life ... all the great ... all the glory ... and all that is in between.
P.S. I am no stranger to the flame wars and to trolls. I just go by the philosophy that discussions with them will bring up more seeds of rationality for lurkers, than ignoring them will leave the lurkers believing the lie.
@Marion- having Asperger’s, as a teenager, I was the one people called up to tease, not the person doing the calling.
Took until I was 18 and discovered Fidonet and Usenet to get into that kind of trouble- and even then, it was usually with people who lived a continent away.
P.S.
When you were a teenager, did you sometimes find it amusing to make crank phone calls? Also, famously the boys at Cornell used to write letters to dear Abby with the most outlandish and dreadful tales, and then wait for her to reply in print.
Immature people are very clever at dreaming up ways to provoke and annoy others. It’s very sad. I think this sort of thing happens on the Internet just as much if not more than some of the mischief we got up to with telephones and the mail back in the day.
In fact, when there is a comment from someone who purports to be a faithful traditional Catholic and that comment is notable for its offensive and / or objectionable content, dollars will buy you donuts, that’s it’s a “crank” comment intended to get a rise out of us, and that each time we reply, some gangly teen with a keyboard is shreiking with laughter over what fools he made of us.
That’s what I’m thinking, more and more.
I think that some people just do not understand any more what work means. Work is not just doing a job professionally. Work is also dealing with one’s children everyday. Actually, that is the most important kind of work. When it becomes difficult to balance both, as in this case, IMHO it is not a matter of lack of professionalism, it is a matter of looking at what is mots important, and it is the kids. Those who took this article in a negative and condemning tone do not seem to have had to raise children, or just had one or two for their own convenience…
Ted,
Most of the people in Opus Dei whom I know are the very opposite of what you might think from reading this combox. They are truly humble, courteous, kind, and generous. Part of humility would be to be slow to criticize others and disinclined to offer their personal opinion of another’s actions without being invited.
The discourtesy and lack of humility in some of these comments would once have surprised me, but doesn’t anymore.
I have begun to wonder lately whether agents provocateurs don’t sometimes come to sites of the traditional Catholic faith, intending deliberately to stir up trouble, get a rise out of people, or to make the Church, or elements within the Church, look bad.
I have been looking at ways to respond to comments that would appear to be phoney or disingenuous in this way. Ignoring them is a good start, but there may be others, too. Certainly not to respond to them as one would to a serious and thoughtful comment.
I absolutely love this article. The combox reminds me why I avoid the “perfect” parents. Don’t worry I still have to deal with their “perfect” offspring though as they generally magnetize to our family where joy is the point and social status is something that has sucked the fun out of their short childhoods.
I took a break from this thread by unsubscribing after the “detected trolls” comment. Came back because of Mark Shea.
It never occurred to me to examine Rose’s comment through the lens of Opus Dei, mainly because not all Saints speak to All People and I’ve never understood Opus Dei’s attitude towards work (and likely never will, I can’t compartmentalize in that fashion- I can’t separate me from my work, and my heart and brain work in unity, not separately).
But it is an interesting thought.
Papa should be disturbed for blood, vomit, or, I would add a few more: fire, gushing water, Alex jam-climbing (jamming his tailbone against one side of a doorway, the balls of his bare feet against the opposite one, and creeping upward until his head touches the lintel. Three separate incidents involving trips to the Emergency Room); torturing the dog with the fire bellows, torturing the dog with a water pistol, torturing garden snails by aiming sunlight at them through a magnifying glass; torturing the dog by aiming sunlight at him through a magnifying lass while he’s sleeping; torturing the dog by applying Mama’s make-up to his face; coloring on the wallpaper; torturing little Sis by making thumping noises from the attic and shreiking; non-consensual tickling; non-consensual whirling - grabbing another child by the wrists and whirling until his feet lift off the air; upending furniture and hiding sofa cushions to “save” place; making crank telephone calls to strangers’ home; taking a nap in the clean laundry in the basket, putting the dog into the clean laundry basket to have a nap, too, to console him for having been tortured.
You may want to add other things to the list.
So…do you normally have this many hateful comments?
This is the first time I’ve read one of your articles, and I loved it!
Matt:
This piece was hilarious. Don’t let the grim Pharisees of humorless rectitude get you down. Fantastic.
Great story - I read it to my wife this morning while she packed her toys for work (early childhood special educator) and all she did was laugh and remind me of when I was all set to defend my dissertation and my oldest daughter and son came up to wish me luck with the notebook for of my “brilliance” decorated with pictures - and it was the only copy for my committee. Thankfully they found it humorous, though they did still make my defense miserable, but those pictures helped me through it. To those who ere offended - get a grip - life happens and children who are God’s gift as Art Linkletter said say the darndest things or in this case do the darndest things. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you, Mr. Archbold. I can’t recall laughing that much while reading a piece in the Catholic press. You’re a comic genius. Of course, the best comedy is real life, and that’s what you did: relate real life.
hahaha…YES…too funny - thanks for the humility and the great writing. Makes me want to see the movie.
YES!!! It doesn’t matter how well you prepare. I always end up inside the closet that is inside the the locked bathroom that is inside the locked bedroom. (The oldest would get me on the intercom if there was a true emergency.) This is the only way that the other person on the other end can not hear my toddler banging on the door. “Mommy, I want to come with you!!” Because you suddenly become so much more interesting to them the minute you get on the phone. LOVED THIS.
All I have to say is…reading the exchange between Ted and Rose, I’m not sure how one comes out of that with a slam against Ted!
Personally, I just ignore judgmental, humorless statements like the ones Rose made, but Ted tried to impart some words of Christian charity.
Yes, constructive criticism is an act of charity…perhaps not best done over the Internet though.
Thank you, I needed that!
Somehow you have to get this column to the actor. Priceless.
I haven’t laughed that hard in a while. Anyone who has any number of children will completely understand, especially stay at home parents. I have had to lock myself in the bathroom more that once on a phone call while the kids ran amuck and screamed outside the door. I blog about my crazy children all the time, the middle one seems to have a particular penchant for trouble.
Posted by Mary on Monday, Sep 10, 2012 2:26 PM (EST):I think the people who are commenting here (and arguing) are acting much worse than your kids. My goodness, where is the joy for living, people?”
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Exactly.
Thank you for the laugh and showing me my house is not the only one like that. Raising 7 kids, 5 still at home, there are times it feels like a zoo, and usually it is when that important phone call you’ve been waiting for happens. The best way to get your child’s attention is to get on the telephone. Really, it’s a proven fact, ask any stay at home mom. :D
Great story, great writing, great depth, and great humor.
Hilarious! Too bad the negative nancies and the sad horns had to sound off and (almost) ruin the mood!I’ve never had to make an important call/interview with my daughter around, but the calls I have made (to the credit card company or whatever) always have little side convos, faces, noises directed at or by my daughter. I think you did great with that many kiddos about! Btw—you just reminded me of how much I want to see the movie! Thanks:) and job well done!
My husband and I laughed out loud this was so so funny! I love that you are humble enough to show you are not perfect! Let those who are throw the first stone (I see we have a few perfect people casting stones!) I live this life with little kids and they are a gift!! And yes, we can plan, and plans can get derailed! That is life! Thank God for it:)
Okay. Three things: Skype phone. Headset. Audio recording app. You can hit mute to silence the banshees from the other part. Just un mute when it’s your turn. The headset mutes the room noise for you too. Work-from-home writer. Five kids. Been there. Took just enough of those most-embarrassing moments to get a clue. And ... Don’t use paper. Ever. It’s always AWOL. Skype is cheap. You’ll save that much on therapy later. ;) Nice story just the same. Looking forward to watching the film.
Matthew-what a great story within a story. I loved reading this and could totally identify with the challenges. The other day I was being interviewed and my niece showed up early with her one year old baby. I love them both to pieces but I had to call the reporter back and say “uh-this is suddenly not a good time.”
Any how-good stuff. You’re a great writer and story teller and thanks for the nice comment.
Teresa
I enjoyed reading this & could definitely relate, as the parent of small children. Sorry things derailed in the comments section…people say all kinds of krazy stuff online they would never say in person. Oh well, you can’t please everyone. Do yourself a favor, and don’t read the comments (except mine!) :)
Don’t see any fun in using children as shields to cover adult’s clumsiness and incompetence.
Oh, and Matt - my husband and I thought the article was hilarious! Sorry the combox got derailed by—whatever that was.
Apparently humorless boors abound in conservative Catholic circles, too. No wonder the evil ones are winning the culture wars. We’re too busy playing chickens pecking at each other in the barnyard.
This article was F.U.N.N.Y.
So laugh.
Thanks for sharing! Who in their professional (or personal) life hasn’t had a meeting, interview, or project that did not go as planned? But then to be able to share that experience with humor and humility - that’s a beautiful, and refreshing, thing. God bless you and your family!
Poor Josemaria Escriva. I wonder if he ever gets tired of being trotted out every time some humorless point-misser wants to justify yelling at someone?
hilarious article - thank you for making my day. By the way, my daughter works for Maximus Group and they are the promoter for The Greater Glory so you may have been talking with Eduardo via Kelly but probably not since she is new to the team.
Matt did the best job he could, not what he should.
He may use the situation as a fun anecdote, for once. However, it is not a resource to excuse a systematic behaviour to develop a mediocre work.
Besides, the interview is not objective, is overloaded with emotions and things unrelated to Eduardo Verástegui, and hides an apologize of the author for delivering something that is not what he should have done.
Sanctifying ordinary work. Saint Josemaria Escriva.
Let us work. Let us work a lot and work well, without forgetting that prayer is our best weapon. That is why I will never tire of repeating that we have to be contemplative souls in the midst of the world, who try to convert their work into prayer. Furrow, 497.
All men, all women — not only those who are poor in a material sense — have an obligation to work. Wealth and abundance of economic means only increase one’s obligation to feel responsible for the whole of society. Conversations, 111.
To God, always the best of myself and my best job, not a halfway job.
Conference in Argentina, 1974.
Hey Ted, “Put your heart aside. Duty comes first. But when fulfilling your duty, put your heart into it. It helps.” Josemaría Escrivá.
I agree, Mary, but do we just let rude commentary go? I think that this is the problem with our current political culture…that we don’t call out fellow Republicans or fellow Democrats, Independents, et. al, because we don’t want to argue.
I think the people who are commenting here (and arguing) are acting much worse than your kids. My goodness, where is the joy for living, people?
Awesome article - love it! I can certainly relate having raised 4 kids (although I’ve never interviewed anyone famous). Add barking dog to the ruckus at my house!
Harry, he was professional…he prepared for the interview, scheduled it duirng a time that he owuld have the houst to himself. In this culture of blame, can we also fault the school for scheduling a half day at the last second?
Or could we look at this as an example of the new workplace, where adapt is a catchword?
Thank you for your willingness to be so normal in this post. Your ordinary holiness and humility is a light of hope to the rest of us. I’ll bet if Eduardo had kids, this same thing could quite possibly happen to him… After all, he’s just a normal Latino dude doing the same thing as you… God’s work in an imperfect world.
@Harry- Matt is working at home, like MOST free lance journalists.
And anybody who puts efficiency over humanity to me, is guilty of worship of mammon over God.
I work away from home currently, and in home at times, but I would NEVER be able to separate the two into the multiple personality syndrome you and Rose seem to think professionalism requires. But then again, to an autistic like me, professionalism is just one more way neurotypicals cover up incompetence.
To Ted and Hector. You misunderstood the concept professionalism. Compatibility does not mean that work is placed over home or home over work. Let me explain. When you work away from home, you don´t let your home experiences disturbing you, and time and efficiency are best.
It is true that working at home may turn difficult to separate those interferences, but it is our duty to find the away of making it work, if not, it’s just our guilt, meaning we are not capable of handling responsibilities and our capabilities were exceeded. Then, it will be time to ask for help, be humble.
@Harry…I think, more on the merits of understanding the situation in Mexico. “For Greater Glory” leads us there, and then, hopefully, we go further to understand what causes religious persecution. We continue the trip in other words. It is also important to note that the persecution didn’t happen 2,000, 1,000, or even 500 years ago…it happened less than 100 years ago…and is food for thought in how things can get that bad.
For Greater Glory is a good faith movie, but some of you are exaggerating about its merits. Be even-tempered!
Really fun post. The apology for the missing quote on the beauty of confession was itself beautiful, & the impression it conveyed was perhaps even more arresting than Eduardo’s statement. But we’ll never know!
To all, I detect a troll or trolls in this thread. This seems to increase during an election cycle and especially when it gets closer to the actual election. Don’t feed the trolls they are only trying to cause discontent on this fine Catholic website. Don’t respond, let them starve.
Agreed Gretchen…I wonder if there was a coffee shortage in the US somewhere, or were peoples’ beds moved during the night that caused them to get up on the wrong side?
@Greg, there is nothing spoiled about a child seeking the attention of a parent above all others. That is in fact how a child should act, and in fact how we should be acting towards God.
@Andrew- notice it was only after Rose attacked Matt that I said anything at all. Apparently some people have never even attempted to work from home; nor pay for child care on a free lance journalist’s income, which if you haven’t followed the news is more meager every year.
@Hector- I’m pretty sure all the moral outrage towards me is quite deserved by me. I don’t put up with scruplosity in my 9-year-old son, and I’m not about to put up with it in a group of supposed adults.
@Greg…for the uninitiated, a special needs child might seem to be “spoiled” in the way they act…this is especially true for the child who is autistic, depending on the severity of the condition. I was instructing one child in preparation for the sacrament of First Eucharist, and she could not continue due to her inability to focus and her outbursts. For those with no understanding of the disorder, it would seem like a spoiled child throwing a tantrum…
Similarly, in Matt’s article, his 5 year old is the “victim” of his abruptness…something she mis-interpreted as anger or rudeness on his part. She began to cry…which a lot of 5 year olds do, when confronted with situations that were not of their own making.
And…I still got what Eduardo wanted to get across as well. And…that I am buying “For Greater Glory”...all in one article…great job Matt…
I have no idea why this awesome post brought out any hostility. It is not “The Interview”, it was a story ABOUT the interview. Calm down people.
“They felt like veal”. Snort—best line. :) As a fellow dead-spot victim, I loved this post.
@Andrew…I see your moral outrage is only directed in one direction…there are plenty of examples of a lack of charity here, of negative examples of Catholic behavior…why just him?
Chantal was the first, then Rose, then Nelson. Ted and me have responded in kind, which I will agree is wrong, but is their behavior right, and should you not call them out as well? Or did Rose call in her personal cavalry, her fellow gnostics?
To Ted: a special need child does not have to act as a spolied one, both terms are not synonymous.
Mr. Ted Seeber, if that’s your idea of how a catholic must act: giving back as a revenge, you are very very wrong. Our Lord forgives you.
@Nelson- Rose showed intolerance first; I am only giving her back what she dished out.
And your comment shows far more immaturity than the other.
I think this article is the most immature thing an adult could write. The author’s children would have done better.
The attacks of Ted to Rose are incredible: the clear expression of his misogyny and intolerance to women, as he seems to consider women role only at Kinder Küche Kirche.
@Rose…ohhhh…so you are a gnostic of professionals as well as parenting…interesting…
3 kids…raised “Matt style”...
1…30 year old, professional (Master’s in Accounting UT Austin), house, job, car, and volunteers with his parish’s youth ministry.
2…22 year old, associates (yeah, he’s my social butterfly), house job, car, also volunteers with his parish youth ministry. Attended various retreats and was active as a junion high, and high school student.
3….17 year old, member of her parish youth leadership team, #7 out of 300 students in school…active in parish youth ministry, Squire Roses, and other activities.
You see Rose, I like to go after people that act high and mighty with others…because they usually act like victims after a while. I guess you forgot that really interesting word that is such a part of our Catholic vocabulary…humility. I have learned it from my kids…simply because it was then that I realized that trusting in God’s will was the only way to raise them…not by listening to some child rearing guru, or anyone else. My realtionship with my children did not, and does not, fall into a convenient category, and neither does anyone else’s.
Great job Matt…the point if your interview, the movie that Eduardo is in, was made with flying colors…regardless of the gnostics in the room…
The only thing worse than “Let me show you our vacation pictures” is “Let me tell you about my kids.”
As W.C. Fields said, never work with children or animals.
@Rose, this has NOTHING to do with treating a child like a friend at all. My son is special needs- 9 going on 6. The reason he isn’t “well educated” by your standards is a scar inside the language center of his brain.
Some people, it is obvious from your post, never learn respect or prudence at all. And I’m not talking about your kids- I am talking about YOU.
Until you’ve walked a mile in the footsteps of a parent with *normal* children instead of little robots that you’ve beaten all the common sense out of, don’t assume that other people aren’t also good parents.
This was hysterical! Loved it. Reminded me of when I was a very green paralegal and called the other guy we were going to sue to snoop some information. They got suspicious and asked who I was, and I stammered out “it is Laura, from a law firm” and hung up the phone. Thank goodness my direct dial was unlisted. It rang all day. Oops. I think I sat there for a full half hour, replaying the stupidity over and over again in my head before I went to my boss to explain what happened… ;)
Look, Ted Seeber, if you don’t know how to be a parent, don´t assume everybody is like you. If your child is not well educated, that’s only and exclusively your fault. First, you should learn about respect, responsibility, prudence, and then teach your children. Remember, your child is not your friend! Common Sense.
No te apures, Matt…hiciste bien en la entrevista, y yo pienso que Eduardo tambien esta sonriendo sobre lo que sucedio.
(Don’t worry, Matt…you did good on the interview, and I think that Eduardo is also smiling over what happened.)
@Chantal, @ Rose and @George…you modern day gnostics who think you are higher and mightier than the rest…please…go into a room, and outdo yourselves…it’ll take a while.
@Rose…the article was about Eduardo, set in a setting that made me pay more attention to it, because of the situations Matt found himself in, which many of us can relate to. The apostleship that Eduardo gives is not the interview…it’s the movie, which I have been looking forward to seeing, but now with even greater urgency…thanks to Matt.
Knowing that I am going to fall into a sort of modern day “gnostic” trap…I have a special sense of the Cristero movement in Mexico. My grandfather’s cousin, St. Pedro Maldonado, was one of the martyrs of the time. He died bringing the sacraments to the people, even in the face of the great evil which, in the end, took his life. It is this, which is conveyed through film, that we must never forget…that giving into government results in government expecting you to give in.
@Rose- for those who can’t afford to put the kids in daycare, sometimes there is no choice. A lack of professionalism is only a sin to those who place professionalism above parenting and making money above life. Sometimes this sort of thing happens no matter what you do. Have you never even been double booked for a meeting?
Of course, part of it might be influenced by my family motto that makes me understand: If you aren’t constantly stressed and you are not a failure at everything you attempt, it is because you aren’t doing enough.
Best. Interview. Ever.
Ted Seeber. I do have little children, but i do not mix up personal family life with work, as Matt did, because at least, that is a lack of professionalism, among other things.
Viva Le Christo Rey - Matt, I’m sure God had a good time watching this.
This is why, as a mother to a beautiful bunch of similar criminals, I shoot low. If they are all breathing, relatively clean, and will get fed three squares, I consider my job almost well done. Wanting to throttle them so I can write the great American novel or hold a second job would turn me into someone I don’t even want to think about, though I’ve met her on occasion, during moments like your interview. I hardly even aspire to listening to a good radio or TV show until they are all sleeping like angels in their beds.
(I only had to get up twice while writing this to relinquish my cup of decaf to a bossy three-y-o., and to add more butter to some cinnamon swirl toast.)
Adorable. And seems like you did an ok interview job to me; it’s not like at any one moment in your life you’re only a writer or only a dad. They’re both true at the same time, much to the dismay of a people like a couple of the previous commenters, hahaha!
@George- Have you seen For Greater Glory yet? The women are some of the most intelligent, most courageous people in the film. Maybe because the Joan of Arc Brigade was the only reason the Christeros could keep fighting in the first place- if it wasn’t for their ingenuity, the rebellion would have had no guns or ammo.
@Chantal Arnaud - now that’s a Christian comment - NOT!
@Rose - ditto
Maybe the answer’s in all the comments, which I didn’t read—just those two jumped out at me—but did it dawn on you self-proclaimed critics that this is Matthew’s BLOG, a place where he can write what’s on HIS mind, and share with us the joys of family, including what any parent knows: the moment mom or dad is on the phone is precisely when the children become most “needy”?
I read the blog in that light—perhaps you critics should re-read it keeping in mind that it’s a parent sharing a family episode.
Then also consider that we might just be reading the interview with Eduardo in another article, not in a blog.
Oh, and I bet if Eduardo reads this blog, he’ll find it as amusing as many of us have, because, as I understand, he’s a Christian, pro-family, and pro-life.
Matt,
Quite possibly the funniest article I’ve ever read from you. I literally guffawed when I read your statement about Mexico.
Don’t sweat it. We all have terrible interviews. I interviewed Jesse Ventura a few years ago and we actually got in an argument. I never aired that interview. No one has heard that interview. No one will ever hear that interview.
And ignore the naysayers. Methinks they miss the point of your article.
Also, to Rose - It’s disrespectful and a waste of time for Matt, yourself and the readers, to turn his hard work, his vulnerability, his humility, and his willingness to share his humanity and flaws into something to criticize and reprimand. You missed a great opportunity to realize the Light of Christ that Matt shares with others through laughter and joy and awkward moments, and the example we can all learn from that.
Rose apparently either has no children, or her children are all grown up and she never had to deal with the uncanny ability of children to make a ruckus whenever the phone rings.
I’m an incredibly busy special needs parent with only one child and also Grand Knight of my KofC council- and it is amazing my son’s ability to come up and start talking about cartoons whenever I’m on the phone.
I thought Eduardo Verástegui only reduced women to a state of idiocy, but it seems he has an universal effect: men, women, gays, bisexuals…
The interview was about Eduardo Verástegui, not about your personal domestic issues.
If you are so desperate looking for attention, try to get it somewhere else.
It’s disrespectful and a waste of time for Eduardo, yourself and the readers, to turn Eduardo’s hard work of apostleship into a joke and something light-minded.
You missed a great opportunity to let others know the Christ’s Light that Eduardo carries.
Hah! You need to brush up on your survival skills. First of all, your van is your friend. Go get in it. But first, tell all the kids that there are only two reasons to disturb you in the minivan - blood or vomit. If they’re like my kids they’ll want to understand the fine print - what if someone’s choking and turning blue? Yes, an interruption would also be allowed in that case. What if the boy bounces a ball off the 5 year old’s head? Nope, not a reason to be disturbed. And then, as you’re watching the idea forming in the boy’s head, you tell him if, upon finishing the very important work you’re doing in your van, you were to discover he was bouncing the ball off the siblings’ heads, he will deeply regret it. And then leave the house, go out to the van and turn it on. With the engine and air conditioning running, you won’t be able to hear the banging on the window. ;)
(I just checked online at “Redbox” & it’s available tomorrow, Sept. 11th.)
Just wondering: when does “For Greater Glory” come out on DVD? I missed it in the theatre.
Thanks!
I can really, really relate to this story. Once I did an interview in my bathroom to escape all the noise…and I only have two children!
I so look forward to seeing “For Greater Glory”. I love your story. Thank you for being so candid in the sharing of your giftedness, your weaknesses, your family life, and your genuine enthusiasm for having spent a few hectic moments on the phone with an actor who was, “in love with God, the faith, & the movies”. You may think you blew a great interview for your readers but I have come away with the knowledge that Eduardo V. gave what you recalled to be a truly beautiful defense of the sacrament of confession and of how he wanted the film to inspire, touch, educate, and transform folks. Not to mention his sharing of God’s healing, His love, and the admission of who we truly are. It doesn’t get any better than that! And now knowing this about the actor I believe I will be blessed even more when I see the film because of the background you have provided here. You have no “dead spot” in your house. Your house is bursting at the seams with faith, family, and a tremendous love & devotion to God.
Thanks for this. Sorry for your struggle, but great to laugh about it! God bless you.
@Chantal Arnaud, what was that all about?
Wow! You always have great stories to tell even when your interviewing of famous people goes about as well as your interviewing a guilty child. Thanks for a good laugh! I’m sure many parents and caregivers can relate to having strange sounds and side conversations with children while on the phone with somebody important. I think my favorites were probably when the boys I was nannying for would choose a time when I needed to call one of their parents to report a problem or concern and they’d locate the toy that played loud barn animal sounds and play it repeatedly—and this even before they had reached the age of two!
Send me this interview. I want to publish this interview. As a work-at-home mom who could relate in more ways than she will ever admit, you made me really laugh with this one.
Have never read so much stupidity together in just one place! But, there always is a first time.
Matt Archbold graduated from Saint Joseph’s University in 1995. He is a former journalist who left the newspaper business to raise his five children. He writes for the Creative Minority Report.