They were a tornado of plaid and elbows running out the doors of their Catholic elementary school. Four of them waved a green piece of paper above their heads excitedly but the kindergartener was just running because she doesn’t know any other speed.
I hardly had time to imagine what was on the green paper before they slammed themselves against the van all eager to be the first to announce something. In the maelstrom of words I made out the phrase “talent show.”
The girls were particularly excited. The 13 year old climbed into the front seat, which still feels strange to me. She told me she was going to perform something by Taylor Swift with two of her classmates. The 11 year old also wanted to sing something by Taylor Swift so there was a brief argument but it was submerged in the excitement.
The ten year old told me she would dribble a basketball through her legs and behind her back and maybe perform some magic. (Not sure how they'd segue but she seemed excited.)
When we arrived home I read the handout and my thirteen year old whispered to bring my attention to the bottom which said that only 1st through 8th could perform. She enjoys these conspiratorial moments because I think it makes her feel like an adult. I think sometimes to grow up someone has to let you.
The five year old did not take the news well. She dropped to her knees in the living room, put her hands on her head, and moaned an anguished yawp as if her visions of grammar school glory were foiled yet again. We all stood back impressed that a five year old could conjure such deep wellsprings of regret given that she'd only heard about the talent show on the way home in the van.
"What were you going to do as your talent anyway?" asked the 11 year old to distract her because her first instinct is to always make things better.
When we received no response I asked the same question. Slowly, she released her head and stared up at me incredulously as if I'd just admitted that I didn't know her at all. "Dance, Dad," she said. "Dance."
Oh.
Now, mind you, this particular child wore a Batman mask for four years. This past year has been spent swinging styrofoam swords at her brother. I've never seen her dance except out of the way of some invisible missile hurled by an imaginary nemesis. But the way she was acting you'd think she shuffle-stepped out of the womb wearing leg warmers and glitter.
She suddenly stood up and without any music began jumping, twirling, and waving wildly as if someone were shooting at her feet. The kids and I watched her for about twenty seconds enjoying the show and then after about twenty more seconds we started wondering if we'd have to taze her to get her to stop.
When she did finally stop because she’d made herself dizzy she didn't stop and look at us for applause or approval, she simply walked past us and asked her seven year old brother to play in the front room.
“That was great,” called out the eleven year old to her.
As my son followed her, I asked him what talent he'd planned for the talent show.
"Cartwheel," he said and walked out with his sister.
Besides being something that may not sound like a talent because something like 80 percent of children can cartwheel, there was one major problem. He doesn’t know how to cartwheel. Oh, I've seen him do the court jester version where he essentially tumbles sideways with his feet a few inches off the ground.
But I wasn’t going to argue because as it turned out, that next week all my kids got sick. Fevers, coughing, nausea. So they were out of school for a number of days in a row. Then came the weekend and to be honest I'd forgotten all about the talent show. But when I drove them back to school, my 11 year old mentioned that the talent show was that day.
My thirteen year old and the ten year old decided they hadn't prepared anything so they wouldn't be performing but the 11 year old said she'd been practicing the song even when she was sick, whispering it to herself under the blanket. She is constantly singing. When I test her on her spelling words she’ll sometimes sing them to me. She says it helps her remember.
The boy suddenly announced from the back seat of the van that he still wanted to do a cartwheel.
My thirteen year old subtly lifted her eyebrows at me as if to warn me that this was something as a parent I should be heading off. "Uhm," I said, fearing embarrassment for him. "I don't think that's a good idea."
Silence from the back seat.
I listed reasons such as he was just getting over being sick, he hadn't practiced, and there would be another talent show next year. Silence. I was about to turn around just to glance at his face when I heard a murmured “OK.”
And I feel bad about that now. Because when I hear his "OK" in my head now I hear the sadness in it. I know sometimes memory makes us build things up into something they never really were. But I believe that maybe it's sometimes only in memory that we realize the true significance of a moment. How often do we all lay in bed at night and all of a sudden something someone said days ago enters your mind and you find yourself sitting up in bed thinking, "Oh that's what he meant." And then you shudder at the paucity of your response at the time.
When he waved goodbye as he walked towards the school he showed no sign of being upset but I think boys learn early to bury things.
I forgot all about it. The show was at 1 p.m. so I went back home to work when I received a phone call. It was my son's first grade teacher. She asked me if I had forbidden my son from being in the talent show. "Not exactly," I said.
"He came to me this morning," she explained. "And he had tears in his eyes when he told me he wasn't allowed to be in the talent show. He’s upset."
I felt like the worst father in the world at that moment. So I quickly asked her to please tell him he could be in the talent show.
At 1p.m. I signed in with the front office and walked down to the gym/cafeteria/auditorium. I stood in the back and watched while so many wonderful children bravely and amazingly stood up before just about everyone they knew in the world and performed. The shaky nervousness of a little girl's voice, the hesitancy of little fingers searching for a minor chord on the piano, and the thunderous ovations from the children after each performance confirmed in me why this little Catholic school was such a wonderful place.
When it was her turn, my eleven year old walked out into the semi-circle of folding chairs underneath the basketball backboard and she sang beautifully, gaining confidence in her voice with each note, until her classmates began clapping along and there she was - my little girl singing proudly and loudly as if she were alone in her room. Yes!
I was so proud of her. She left to the embrace of other little girls and they all, I'm sure, told her she was great and she told them how great they were. And she was right. They all were.
And then my son was called.
Now, many of the children had costumes or instruments or props of some kind. One girl even had a pogo stick. But out walked my seven year old in his gym uniform staring intently at the floor, his cowlick in the back of his head waving as if it were enjoying the attention.
There was nobody else in the room for him. It was him and his imagination performing the perfect cartwheel. After a few seconds of nothing, there began a low murmur. I could see a few teachers looking at each other seeking in each other's eyes whether they should go ask him if he's alright or just ask him if he wants to get off the stage. But suddenly he sprang into action. No introduction. No hesitancy. My seven year old son ran full speed towards the front row of grandparents, parents, and kindergarteners! And I watched in horror as his arms sprung out in front of him, his feet were suddenly up over his head, and then he landed just inches from the spectators who were leaning back in their chairs.
He did it! The boy actually did it! He did the first actual cartwheel of his life. Exactly when he needed to.
He quickly spun on his heels and walked back towards the center of the "stage." He had everyone's attention. And then he did an even more unexpected thing. The boy bowed and walked off the stage. Nobody knew what to do. Nobody. They watched him walk off. They still weren't sure if he was going to spring into action again so they waited until he sat down with his classmates. I suddenly recalled that every time he’d said what he was going to do, he said “cartwheel” in the singular. He was telling the truth.
The crowd was silent in confusion. Suddenly applause. Loud applause. And laughing in good cheer. I looked at him and I saw him smile. It was a great smile. His classmates were all talking to him and cheering him on.
I hadn’t known I’d been nervous until the knot in my nerves released. I silently thanked God. Not for his first perfect cart wheel but just for that moment of bravery. Because when he started running he had no idea if he could do a cartwheel. And he ran right at the crowd of people.
I was so grateful to be there to see my little boy with his feet where his head should be. That's actually a more apt description of my boy than I set out to write. But I reread it and realize it's true. He's got feet where his head should be.
I wonder if he'll remember that moment. Or whether that moment is just mine. Either way, I'm grateful. It’s one of the gifts that parents come upon unaware.
Supposedly, according to my girls, everyone after the show was talking about the boy who came out and did one cartwheel. Sure, it was mocked a bit. Sure, they didn't know what to make of it. But they'll all forget it. But not me.
And dopey ol' me, I'd almost gotten in the way of it. If it hadn't been for a kindness from his teacher to call me and ask me if he could perform I'd have missed it.
As the children all made their way back to the classrooms I loitered. The boy broke from his classmates, hugged me and asked if I saw him even though he knew I did. I told him he was amazing. Just amazing.
I couldn't have gotten that smile off his face if I'd tried. And I wasn't going to.
Next year I'll let the little one dance her dance because let's face it, that's the only dance worth doing. And if my ten year old wants to do magic while dribbling basketballs, that's ok by me too.
On the way home, the ten year old asked the boy if he was going to do a cartwheel in the next talent show.
"No," he said. "I did it already. So I'll do something else."



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Beautiful story. It’s a real blessing to be a dad isn’t it? Thank you for reminding me.
That was the sweetest story. You’re a good Dad. Thanks for brightening my morning!
My kids’ Catholic school has an annual talent show, and I’m always so impressed that the students cheer eachother on whether the act is really, really good, or frankly, just bad. You wouldn’t know the difference by their reaction. That confirms for me that something is really right about our little school.
I’m jealous. Our parish school is enormous - 60 kids each grade. Our talent show used to be open for fifth through eighth grade only. It used to be if you wanted to be in the talent show, you were in. There was a “tryout” but it was only to make sure the kids weren’t singing or performing anything inappropriate for a Catholic grade school. Then we got music and art teachers. Now the talent show is open to the whole school, but the tryouts are real. If you’re not good enough you don’t make the cut. Every kid up there is good. Really good. The karate kids, the piano players, the Irish dancers, the singers, and even the occasional magician.
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I hate it - I hate that every year there are kids - even fragile middle schoolers at the mercy of the mean girls - told that they’re not good enough to sing or dance or tell jokes in front of the whole school. One of my kids tries out and (thank God makes it) each year, but every year I pray that his heart will be protected if he doesn’t.
Oops. That should read - “then we got NEW music and art teachers”
Our (public school) K-5 talent show is the same as Matt’s—wildly varying acts and skills and everyone cheers everyone. I made the mistake the first year of thinking my daghter wasn’t up to it, but then realized she fit right in. One year she recited dog jokes, this year (her last, sigh) she and a friend sang “Don’t worry be happy” while she played the ukelele. Along with the karate kicks, magic tricks, jokes, pianos, you name it. And they are all so kind to each other; I really think that is big difference from my childhood, the kids have been taught to be kinder and sometimes it works.
My own all-time favorite act: a girl who recited “The Midnight Ride of Paul Revere”—in pig Latin.
The power a teacher has in the life of a child can be amazingly good!
What a wonderful story! I think all good parents and caregivers have times when it’s easy to say something in the moment that we have no idea will deeply discourage the little one with the idea that got them all excited. It is indeed a blessing that your son has a teacher who knew that you’re the type of guy who wouldn’t squelch his dreams if you knew that something so seemingly small to you was really a big deal to him. Fortunately, you were given the ability to make things right, and thereby facilitate one of the best, most entertaining elementary school talent shows ever. Awesome!
I always love reading about your son. I have a son the same age, surrounded by sisters, too. The story about the doctor’s appointment in the winter time and he didn’t wear any shoes had me in tears…this one did, too. So glad he was able to have his moment and shine in his unique way, and so glad you were able to witness it.
This was hilarious and beautiful, Matt; I loved it and laughed out loud. Bravo!
“I silently thanked God. Not for his first perfect cart wheel but just for that moment of bravery. “
What every parent waits to see.
“I think sometimes to grow up someone has to let you.” I think it is called love.
@Eileen: Tryouts for a talent field day? Who gets to say who’s act is better than another’s? How will the children determine what they are good at and enjoy the most, if they are put down? Hospitality at your Catholic school is missing. A truly talented individual does not put down another person. A truly Catholic School is all inclusive.
“It’s one of the gifts that parents come upon unaware.”
That’s the beauty of those special moments, the ones we can’t plan—no matter how hard we try—that show us the simplicity and beauty of childhood, and parenthood, and family.
Love those school shows. Although, our little Catholic school calls it a “Variety Show” - no talent necessary ;-)
When my youngest was in 5th grade, his Catholic school had a talent show. He decided to demonstrate how flexible he was; he even had a running commentary. The audience loved it, especially when he ended his act by licking his elbow.
@Mary De Voe - I agree with your perspective. Several parents, including myself, complained about it. We were told it’s like “American Idol” and only the select get through to the final round. The judges are the music teacher, the art teacher, and an additional teacher.
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I’m not one who thinks there should never be winners and losers and honor rolls in grade school. However, I think our school has taken the pursuit of excellence too far. Obviously, some parents like this approach since when their parish school closes, they send their kids to ours, which is why we’re bursting at the seams. Not only is our talent show a showcase of years of private lessons, our sports teams are in the archdiocesan finals in just about every CYO sport.
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My kids can walk to school - I can actually see the school out my window through the trees. I love being that close to what is currently the center of my younger children’s universe, but sometimes I hear how other smaller parish schools are run and I just feel a little sad.
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