Thanks for sharing Jennifer.  Together with Jesus we live in the present and together we create and participate in the events of the Future.  My prayers are with you!

Fr. Esprit FMI

Thank you for yet another insightful essay, Jennifer!  I have come to the same conclusion, too - that leaving God out of one’s life experiences and focusing only on ‘that moment’ that’s supposed to satisfy one’s desires becomes paradoxically devoid of meaning and fulfillment.  There is an innate need of humans for God - and I do think that secularists (of which I was experimenting to be one for decades before my happy reversion to the Faith several months ago) miss out on true happiness when they reject God totally.  Today, every waking moment has become more meaningful, because one finally realises its relevance in the context of God’s creation - and perhaps one can better understand the existence of sinfulness in view of Man’s fallen nature and turning away from God.

Ponder, George Bailey “I’m gonna see the world”. And where did he find happiness?

Addendum: Oh, and there’s also the matter of trusting in God in many things - that can be very liberating.  As your previous post from a few months ago said, we should not take on ‘the burden of being God.’ We should plan things as a matter of practical need, of course, but also know and trust that God is ultimately in charge, and only through Him will we find genuine happiness and peace in our lives.

Ive always bee uncomfortable with the bucket list thing and now i know why! I try to always remember every day “THY WILL BE DONE” i cant imagine Mary having a bucket list.

Very true.
Without God, it’s essentially an empty bucket.

“My heart, O God, is restless, until it rests in you.” (St. Augustine)

What you experienced-and all of us do for that matter-is the same thing Ignatius of Loyola went through. When he was converting he realized that when he thought about the things of this world, i.e. fame, lovers, heroism as a solider, it left him feeling blue at the end. But when he thought of the living like a saint and following the Gospel, the residual effect left him joyous.  Experiences usually are never what they’re cracked up to be. Although, someday I still want to swim in the Mediterranean coast of Malta. 

Many years ago I was introduced to Amway and loved the products and soon fell under the spell of building a business to get wealthy. The constant message was to dream-build and that would motivate me to work harder to get rich…...until I asked myself what are God’s dreams for me and mine. The rat race ended and I muddle along without wealth but am much happier seeking God’s goals for me and mine.

I often tell my children:  the best way to avoid happiness is to run after it.

Most items that I have seen on many bucket lists would be deleted if that person was not allowed to talk about such items with others.  Such items are narcissistic mementos.

Almost 10 years ago, I was confronted with the very real possibility of my early death.  It caused me to go home, get out my own bucket list, and make some critical revisions.  What had been a list of 100 things became a shortened list of five things that truly mattered to me.  These are the things that were on my new list:
1) To Fix my relationship with God so that I would be sure of a place in Heaven;
2) To fix the relationship between my son and my husband so that if I were not there to help them, they would lean on each other to get through the hard times rather than destroy one another in their grief;
3) To pay off all debts so that I did not leave my mess behind for others to clean up;
4) To get my college degree and therefore affirm the love and support my family had given me along the way;
5) To die knowing the world was a better place because I had been here.

My relationship with God is much improved, and improves more as the days pass by. My son and my husband are much closer now than they were then. I am $30,000 away from paying off all my debts.  I have an Associates degree in Elementary Education, and I am making steady progress on my last goal.
This was a much worthier bucket list than the one I made before.

I don’t think it’s wrong to have a bucket list, as it helps you focus your energies on the areas that matter most, I think it simply needs to be filtered to better reflect those things that actually do matter to you.

This reminds me of a lesson I learned at a retreat as a teenager, and something I was trying to tell my son yesterday. One of the rules of that particular retreat was, “Don’t anticipate.” It seems like such an odd thing to require, but I didn’t and I had such a deep experience there. I have added that to my overall philosohpy. If I had rules like Agent Gibbs on NCIS, it would be 1, 2 or 3. There is so much that God has in store for us, that anticipation on what that might be is silly and only leads to disappointment.

Great article, as usual.  I think it’s great to have dreams and goals, but we also have to realize that we can’t plan or control everything.  Anticipation has its place, as does prioritizing, but it has to be balanced with living in the moment.  (Conversely, I struggle with this when it comes to documenting, such as with photos and scrapbooks…)

I love those moments of lightening-flash lucidity.  They are often wordless.  Yesterday, I was quietly sitting outside with my husband soon after he arrived home.  We were listening to music, sipping our favorite wine.  The air temperature was perfect, the flowers blooming (the kids unaware we were in our hiding place) and I was so grateful to be sitting there with the one I love and had missed all day.  I reflected upon the fact that in my younger days, I could hardly savor a simple moment like that, as I was young and restless, always hot on the trail of something even more rewarding, fun, and exciting.  Yet even as I was quietly savoring the moment, my thoughts turned toward the reality that even moments of near bliss are pointing us in a direction, permeated with a deep longing for God.

Great reminder of what’s important.  All we ever really have is this moment and God is there, the question is are we too busy with our own plans to hear His “still, small voice?”

What a wonderful piece!  There are far too many places in the world that I would like to visit to ever even attempt to list them, and I would never want to put that pressure on myself, or to feel as though I had failed if I did not visit them. 

I especially love your mention of Pinterest.  In a sudden epiphany I realized that the more and more I pinned, the unhappier I was becoming with my life—with my husband, with my children, with myself, and even with my relationship with God.  I could feel the lure of materialism dragging me down, as I pinned hundreds of things to put in my dream home, or expensive designer vintage dresses to one day wear.  I pinned and pinned and pinned, and felt emptier and emptier.  One day while I was pinning some wonderful activities to do with my kids, my 3 year old came over to ask me to help him with something, and I snapped at him for interrupting me.  WOW, why the heck was I pinning things to do to make my kids happier, smarter, more efficient, etc., when I was ignoring his real need right in front of me.  That day I deleted all of my boards and my account.  Rather than look for printables on Biblical characters, etc., we’ve been reading the stories together, learning prayers, etc.

Certainly some good thoughts to ponder.  I also loved Kate J’s story in the comments.  Thank you both for sharing.

Loved the point of letting go and letting God.  That said, I also love my “bucket list.”  For me, it’s about doing things where I find great joy and experience the beauty of God.  Hiking and experiencing the world, and it gives me a sense of the majesty of God.  To a degree, it’s about setting personal goals and working toward them.  But I am still very much able to live in the moment, and find that through my bucket list, I can grow closer to the beauty and mystery of God.  It’s the same reason I got off Facebook after 7 years; I needed to stop looking at other people’s experiences and start having my own encounters with God and the world.

Totally know what you mean by Pinterest-itis!  That’s when I know it’s time to shut my laptop, stop daydreaming and making mental lists, and just go actually do something, preferably something non-materialistic.

I have a bucket list, and as someone naturally inclined to occasional homebody-ness (which there’s nothing wrong with), I’ve found that my list has motivated me to get out of the house and do things, even ones that aren’t on it, to the point where I enjoy them for their own sake, not just for the satisfaction of checking something off of a piece of paper.  Life is a grand adventure, for sure, and “the glory of God is man fully alive.” I figure, if I’m enjoying something that brings forth beauty (#4: Swing on a playground under the stars), enables me to use my body and senses, made in His image, in a way that is good (#8: finish a triathlon; #61: have a sunrise picnic), fall more in love with the people in my life (#114: Write to our future children and grandchildren; 115: One day give my daughter a piece of my jewelry), and especially push myself spiritually (#37: Finally read all of JPII’s Love and Responsibility; #52: go on a silent retreat), then it can never hurt to have a little road map.  I agree with you, though, that as soon as you feel pressure you’ve put on yourself, your list isn’t a fruitful thing.  In my eyes, it’s meant to make you free to enjoy a virtuous, leisurely life, not enslave you to a list of requirements!  My list has led to some great, simple dates with my husband, too!

http://captivetheheart.blogspot.com

I admit to “stealing” this term from my boss, but to those with “Pinterest-itis”—you need a “Pintervention!” :-)
—
Great post.  Personally, I tend to fall into the category of “always planning, never doing”—which is why such a list has superficial appeal: it’s a plan, not an action!  I think there can be a real danger to getting so caught up in “to-do” lists (no matter the form) that the “doing” doesn’t get done!  Not that they don’t have their place (I’m a list-a-holic), but they can definitely impede in being truly present in any given moment.

Lately I cannot help but laugh whenever I hear some iteration of the sentiment “Live every day like it is your last,”

So…go to Confession, attend Mass, and then spend the rest of the day in Eucharistic Adoration? Because if I woke up knowing this would be my last day on earth, aside from calling some loved ones and close friends and putting my affairs in order (or at least leaving some instructions to aid in such), that would be my plan for the day.

If I were to truly aim to live every day as if it were my last, I’d become a monk. Hmm…maybe there is something to that after all…

I found my bucket list a fulfilling way to meet people and I have some great memories to look back on over the last 50+ years. It isn’t about the goals as much as the experience and people you meet along the way. On my list was college, joining a search and rescue team (6 years), sky diving, pilots license, I love building and restoring cars, HAM radio, ect. Don’t feel you have to stick to your list or do it on a timetable, and its always open to revision. One revision was my daughter and I took in sexually abused teens for five years and managed to get most of then to graduate from high school, some have now gone on to college.

Thanks for sharing your experience! Years ago I read a similar one. Chances are you don’t know his name, as Balazs Barsi OFM writes in Hungarian. He shared what an emptiness he had always experienced after receiving gifts, even as a kid. For long, he thought everyone has this feeling and people conceal it out of politeness. So did he. Much later in life, he figured out that many of his most excellent Franciscan brothers don’t know a thing of this. He described it as a great gift from God that he not only understood but actually experienced that only God can fulfill man.

I totally get your point. I wrote a bucket list but I subsequently did about 3 things on it and when I looked over my partially accomplished list, I felt a sense of disappointment. The only good with holding out specific goals is that in spending all my time, effort and money on my family, I tend to put off my personal dreams forever. I wanted to visit Paris since childhood and finally realized that I had waited well over 30..so when was I going to go? I told everyone that I was talking my daughter to Paris for her sweet 16, but it was really for my sweet 47(and a half).

Nice article and thank your valuable information and I wish you luck
thiqaruni.org