I recently read the powerful conversion story of The Raving Theist, formerly The Raving Atheist, who was once one of the most popular atheist bloggers in the world. (You can find his story and many others, including mine, in the new book Atheist to Catholic: 11 Stories of Conversion). His entire story is fascinating, but one sentence particularly struck me.
While still an atheist, he got to know some Christians through the blog world who were involved in the pro-life movement. Intrigued by their selfless dedication to others and inspired by their “gentle and reasonable” writings, he did something out of the ordinary and began volunteering at a pro-life crisis pregnancy center. He says of this encounter:
“Suddenly, I was surrounded by life.”
This resonated with me deeply, since that sense of being “surrounded by life” is something that my husband and I also noticed as soon as we got involved in Catholic circles. We first remarked on it years ago, when we did a tour of our city’s churches as part of our research into Christianity and religion: Almost all the services we went to had low to moderate attendance, and the members tended to be of similar ages (e.g. all people in their late 30s, or all over 50, etc.). One day we stopped by a Catholic church on a lark, and we were amazed by the difference. It was an explosion of life! There was standing room only inside the sanctuary. After the Mass, there were little kids running past elderly people in wheel chairs, 20-something singles, teenagers chatting with silver-haired couples in their 60’s, babies being passed around by everyone. At the time we weren’t even close to becoming Catholic, but we were struck by the sheer abundance and variety of life at these Catholic churches.
Now that I’m Catholic, the difference is even more striking.
Get-togethers in our old social circles used to be tame events, a group of similarly-aged adults making polite conversation with only the sound of smooth jazz in the background. With Catholic parties, you can usually hear the din of the crowd well before you walk in the door. People socialize as families, so the sounds of cooing babies and stampeding kids intermingles with the conversation and laughter in crowded houses. Young life is everywhere, adding an unmistakable feeling of energy and hope to each event.
Even our own family has exploded with life since becoming Catholic, and not just because we’re bad at NFP. Our views of human life have changed, giving us a new appreciation for the gift of children. Now that we understand that the meaning of life isn’t to rack up impressive career accomplishments or worldly accolades, we have more time to spend with extended family. Thanks entirely to the prompting of the Holy Spirit, I went against my extremely introverted nature to open our home to neighborhood girls who didn’t have anywhere to go after school. A couple summers ago we hosted an orphaned child through the Kidsave program—something we never would have had the courage to do without our faith.
Last week two friends from our parish generously offered to come over and work on some household projects with me, as a gift to our family to welcome the new baby. Our four kids were delighted by the visitors, and followed our friends around, giggling and chatting with them. Then two of the neighbor girls who were on Spring Break stopped in to say hello. As I stood in my living room and observed the scene in front of me, I marveled that there were eight other people in my house on a random Thursday afternoon. And the whole thing was thanks to being Catholic.
Technically, nothing would have prevented me from inviting eight guests to my house before I was Catholic. But it never would have happened. First of all, we would have had fewer kids, since in my pre-conversion life I never questioned the pro-contraception, children-as-burdens worldview. Without being pregnant and having a lot of kids, I doubt our friends would have felt inspired to bless us with their generosity—and without the parish community, we wouldn’t have known them in the first place. And given my temperament (which once inspired my spiritual director to note that I would have made a good desert hermit), nothing short of God’s grace could be responsible for me getting to know the neighborhood kids.
At one point that afternoon I stepped outside to get something, and looked up and down my street. A typical modern suburban scene, it was so desolate I wouldn’t have been surprised to see a tumbleweed blow by. Then I looked back at my house, where the kids were spilling out the front door and sounds of laughter and chatter floated out from inside. It looked like a party, and in a way it was. As I walked back into the noise and joyful chaos, I thought of the Raving Theist’s words: “Suddenly, I was surrounded by life.”
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Mrs. Fulwiler,
I really enjoy reading your articles and looking at things from a new perspective. Thank you.
I love this, Jen. I’ve actually been thinking about asking you if you know any pro life atheists, because I find it intriguing.
While I was never a true atheist, I still became heavily involved in the pro life movement before I was a full believer, and way before I was Catholic. It actually irks me when people assume I am pro life because I’m Catholic because it’s the other way around. My pro life stance brought me to the faith, because I saw all the wonderful and active work the Church did for the movement. Once I researched doctrine and realized this was the Church I belonged in, it all fit. I’ve left parishes that didn’t have a pro life group because I want to stay active.
Wow I’m rambly today on both of your blogs. I’ll be quiet now, lol.
Jennifer,
I loved this excerpt of yours:
and not just because we’re bad at NFP
Brought a smile to my face seeing how the light of Christ just shines through your writing!
In Jesus, Mary, & Joseph,
Tito
Jennifer,
I read both your blog here and Conversion Diary. I am so glad that in addition to opening your heart to a large family and welcoming strangers into your home, you share your wisdom with others! I have been a Catholic my entire life, although my parents don’t really practice and I did make a conscious choice to follow the faith, and I love listening to your assessments of the faith from the outside.
Mandi
As one convert to another, Ms. Fulwiler - a perspective we can share that some “lifelongs” may never really appreciate as much - is how much larger this Catholic Church is on the inside, than on the outside… (I also agree with Tito - that sentence was my favorite of the piece…)
Peace!
So wonderful! Thank you for the beautiful sharing.
As a mom of seven living in a typical suburb with an occasional child sprinkled here and there, I always felt a little embarrassed at the chaos that is my life. I always wondered what the neighbors thought. Thanks for helping me to see things from a different perspective. Now I don’t care what they think. That chaos is sounds of life!
As a lifelong Catholic, I have been surprised as an adult to realize that the “family” experience I had as a child with both family and friends in our Catholic community was not really a typical one. Now that the children are in Catholic school, I am ever more thankful for their opportunity to be part of such a strong community with friends who pray together, work together, mourn together, and celebrate together. I have many friends whose children don’t get to have this experience and the parents do not even realize what they are missing. Thanks Mom and Dad, Grandma and Grandpa! God bless!
I agree, in part. In my little Catholic bubble, we have friends of people at all walks of life - young adults to people in their 80s. I love going to Mass with families and sitting beside babies, then having donuts afterwards with the elderly. It’s pretty awesome. But I think that church can be a very lonely place for young adults, especially single and childless young adults. We really fail at reaching out to them. We have youth groups and play groups, but little in between. Young adults really fall through the cracks in Catholic communities, and its a shame. Why wait till people have kids to start inviting them places? I do think many Protestant churches have many Catholic churches beat on their young adult ministry.
I didn’t know there were other atheist converts.
I honestly never heard of the guy. Was he a believer before? For many, I think there might be a temptation to just give in to the comfortable lie, but perhaps more so if you experienced it once before, like an alcoholic still yearning for a drink after years of sobriety.
Oh well, too bad for him but as long as he can keep his indulgence from affecting others, it’s not too bad, but it sounds like he can’t. Most can’t, it seems. Sad.
YouMadeMeSayIt.com
What a beautiful testament! I need to share this with my friends. I have a dear, sweet friend who needs some encouragement as she is expecting her seventh child.
Jen, As a cradle Catholic, sometimes I’m puzzled by converts lamenting the “lack of fellowship” in the Church. I know they’re probably right that there’s little “hospitality” for newcomers in most parishes but there’s a ton of groups to join & stuff that needs to be done. I guess growing up in a big Catholic family, I just never thought that “fellowship” was one of our big problems :-)
Great article, as per usual!
A wonderful, wonderful story! Thanks!
In our Catholic church of 800 families, we, with 6 children, get as many (if not more) snide comments from parishoners as in the Protestant world we converted from almost 7 years ago. It is not the happy picture we thought it would be and what you describe, but we stay for the Eurcharist. And pray for friends. (The next closest church is half an hour away and my husband just won’t do it ; don’t ask!)
Allison, I am so sorry to hear you are experiencing such unCatholic behavior from fellow Catholics :( You are blessed with 6 children, wonderful! Unfortunately there is a lot of “cafeteria Catholicism” going on in today’s world…meaning they pick and choose as to what THEY think is the way to Heaven. My older brother had the same problem from family members, “Catholic” no less, when his then 6 children were young…he has 8 now :).
I had a wonderful experience when I lived in Montreal, Quebec for 10 years. For a former Catholic province, there seems to be a deep hatred for the Church there now, truly very sad. However, I was blessed to be able to attend a traditional Catholic Church that celebrated the Latin Mass. The attitudes are so very different…these blessed people actually practice their Faith on a daily basis…many families having several children, home schooled in the Catholic Faith as well. It was truly a spiritual experience that I will forever cherish. Now that I am back in Ohio, I am unable to attend Latin Mass due to circumstance, but my heart and soul is still there. If you are able, anyone, please give it a try.
Also, everyone please keep in mind that we do not attend Mass for functions, friends, welcoming parties, or social events…we are there to worship and serve Our Lord and to receive the sacrements…the other things are just a bonus :). JMJ
Your description of your home overflowing with love, life and laughter reminds me of a neighbors comment to my parents a few months after they had moved into a new home. They had told my parents that previously there was no sign of life, no joy. But, now, as they drive by there is always a group, always happiness flooding out of the house.
I never thought of it as a testament to their faith, but truely, I guess it was.
This is beautiful what a truly blessed family to be raised in with the gift of life fully embraced.
Allison - been there. It is worth it. Good for you.
I appreciate Jennifer and everyone who takes the time to write here. I was “born Catholic”, stopped going to Mass at 13 when my dad stopped obligating me to go, then become a “born again” Christian at 28 and one week exactly. Now for a few years, I have felt a strong pull to the Catholic Church and have tried several times to go back. I would appreciate your prayers as, cf. another post of Jennifer’s on spiritual attacks, it has been so hard for me. I am still attending both churches at the moment. On my second to last attempt I became so depressed (winter etc. and losing all my friends) that I went back and felt that I was breating fresh air again.
It is hard because I am intellectually convinced but feel that I might be going crazy to return to the Catholic Church (we are thought that it is whe !@#$% of Babylon, almost no one there is “saved” unless including the priests, ...
I am used to a lot of “emotional support” in the evangelical church and it has been all my life, so it is like making the decision to go live on the moon when “I might not need to”.
If anyone knows what I am referring to I would appreciate being able to discuss these things with you.
Blessings,
Sylvie
Jen….thank you for this…I have this very same sense….our neighborhood can be so dead….so few children…so many people living alone…so quiet…eerie.
“He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God.”
Jennifer: You are doing lovely work with your blog. your “song” is inspiring. Thank you!
I remain unconvinced that RA isn’t hogtied in his basement while a fundamentalist christian types away on his behalf, having assumed his identity. There is nothing inherently religious about adopting a pro-life stance, only that it is typically in-line with most religious positions on the topic. That having been said, our planet is literally drowining in a sea of humanity and we are at carrying capacity. Anyone familiar with the rule of 72 and the limits of agriculture and civic planning understands the need for access to family planning services.
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